Questa pagina � nata con lo scopo di fornire ai poveri studenti, angariati dalle mille difficolt� della vita, un p� di sano divertimento tra un esame e l'altro. O, pi� realisticamente, tra la faticaccia di una festa e l'altra.
Dunque, qui potrete trovare barzellette, battute, testi umoristici riferiti in particolare al mondo universitario e scientifico, ed alla sua singolare fauna. In un primo periodo (che, conoscendomi, durer� alcuni mesi), troverete un misto di testi "rubati" da siti americani (in parte tradotti ed adattati alla realt� italiana, ed in parte in inglese... arrangiatevi un p� voi) e di testi originali scritti da amici o conoscenti. Potete contribuire anche voi, se conoscete barzellette o siti dedicati all'umorismo accademico !
Ovviamente, il materiale presente in questa pagina ha il solo scopo di divertire (come tutta la Nievo Home Page); dunque, non si intende offendere nessuna persona od istituzione, ma si vuole solo satireggiare un poco su vizi e virt� dell'Accademia e dei suoi frequentatori.
Questi simpatici rimandi, un giorno lontano ospiteranno molti pi� links... forse... :-)
Cosa potrebbero rispondere questi famosi psicologi e psichiatri ad un invito ad un party ?
Tranne un paio, sono tutte mie... :-D
Adler: potendo, vorrei volentieri !
Kelly: transiter� di l�.
Piaget: vorrei un invito formale.
Vygotskij: preferirei passare allo Stadio.
Skinner: non vorrei condizionarvi... ma sono ammessi gli animali ?
Lewin: non credo, non ho spazi di vita personale, in questo periodo.
Pavlov: sbavo dal desiderio.
Freud: Sublima ! Rimuovo a stento l'eccitazione !
Jung: Mitico ! Amo gli avvenimenti collettivi !
Kohler: si, stasera mi sento in forma.
Klein: non so, sono un p� scissa.
Watson: si, mi associo.
Lacan: potremmo parlarne...
Chomsky: sar� rigenerativo.
Laing: speriamo che sia una serata liberatoria.
Milton Erickson: sono incantato all'idea.
Krapaelin: si, ma alle dieci devo schizzare via...
Bleuler: non vedo l'ora, sar� un delirio
Ebbinghaus: spero di ricordarmi
Kernberg: al limite....
Benussi: prender� solo un th� forte, prima di andarmene.
Laborit: ho proprio un nuovo cocktail da proporre !
Sperry: in parte si, in parte no.
Pinel: ma si, scateniamoci !
Altre battute di questo tipo tratte, con focus sugli scienziati famosi (la conoscenza di un p� di fisica e matematica � necessaria, sorry...)
REPLYING TO AN INVITATION TO A SCIENTISTS' BALL
Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm.
Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend.
Volta was electrified.
Archimedes was buoyant at the thought.
Ampere was worried he wasn't up to current research.
Ohm resisted the idea at first.
Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
Edison thought it would be an illuminating experience.
Watt reckoned it would be a good way to let off steam.
Stephenson thought the whole idea was loco.
Wilbur Wright said he'd take a flier on it.
Dr Jekyll declined-- he hadn't been feeling himself lately.
Morse replied: "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now - must dash."
Heisenberg was uncertain if he could make it.
Hertz said in the future he planned to attend with greater frequency.
Henry begged off due to a low capacity for alcohol.
Audubon said he'd have to wing it.
Hawking said he'd try to string enough time together to make a space in his schedule.
Darwin said he'd have to see what evolved.
Schrodinger had to take his cat to the vet, or did he?
Mendel said he'd put some things together and see what came out.
Descartes said he'd think about it.
Newton was moved to attend.
Gauss was asked to attend because of his magnetic personality.
Armstrong was regenerated by the certainty he would get a better reception than at previous events.
Hewlett was oscillating in his feelings.
Cantor wasn't able to count all the invitations he'd received.
Godel said he couldn't prove it but he'd be there.
Hubble wanted to bring the idea into better focus.
Fermat said his last invitation was truly wonderful but that
he couldn't fit it into the margins of his appointment book.
Niels Bohr sent thanks for the complementary invitation.
Hans Bethe said the whole idea was stellar.
Richard Feynman studied the diagram and said the only way he could make it is by going backward in time.
Stephen Jay Gould and Niles Eldridge said they'd arrive by leaps and bounds.
William Harvey said he would circulate the bloody idea.
Avogadro said he would like to bring a number of friends.
Fourier said he had received a series of invitations.
Klein could hardly bottle up his enthusiasm.
L'Hospital said that, as a rule, he didn't go to banquets.
Fourier expected it to be a transforming experience.
Occam asked whether he would have to shave.
Roentgen saw through the whole scheme.
Turing said that after this party he would have to call a halt.
Van Allen said he would wear his new belt for the occasion.
Wien said he'd cross that bridge when he came to it.
Halley declined because he had another comet-ment.
Kelvin couldn't make it because of a cold.
Gauss normally didn't go to such functions.
Watson and Crick thought it would be a nice chance to unwind.
- Taken from the Net ! -
Ed ecco altro umorismo scientifico... alcuni titoli proposti di seguito sono davvero fantastici !
From: [email protected] (John Atkinson)
_New Scientist_ has a competition each year in which readers are invited to let their dreams unfold and tell the world the headline they would mostlike to see (in _New Scientist_) in the year to come.
Here are this year's winners:
Indestrooktibul spel chequer virrus on rimpoge (Cheryl Chapman).
Time travel to be discovered next year (J. White).
Statisticians show that 80 per cent of damned lies are true (J. White).
Found--the gene that causes belief in genetic determinism (Stephen Thompson).
Water into wine--ancient catalyst rediscovered (Ray Heaton).
I learnt touch typing in utero, says fetus (Helena Petre).
Half-dead cat found in box--RSCPA seeks Austrian scientist (Peter Rowland).
"Dolly" Thatcher wins 10 seats in Parliament (Kevin Ennis).
Mir operating manual discovered behind refrigerator in Moscow supermarket (Alastair Johnson).
The Universe stops expanding this week--keew siht gnidnapxe spots esrevinU ehT (Raymond Broersma).
Butterflies exterminated in Sumatra--"We WILL stop hurricanes," vows Clinton (Bonnie Ralph).
Meteorite hits lottery winner (Patrick Rowley).
Fermat's last memo discovered--"Sod the margin, look on the other side of the page" (Chris Moore).
"Guilt" gene isolated and destroyed--millions enjoy Christmas (Melissa Lewis)
Seguiranno altri testi...
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