The Forgotten Wizard: Revised Edition!!!!!
Ok, people. I just realized I was writing a Discworld Mary-Sue by accident, mind you, so I couldn't live with that hanging over my head. It would scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare me. So, without further ado, here is the beginning of The Forgotten Wizard:
Hi. My name is Seria. Seria Elijah Mercy to be exact. Yeah, I have a weird name. On the other hand, I'm a weird person with a weird life that's basically weird in every single way. Considering I'm falling through a never- ending hole locked up somewhere in the Dungeon Dimensions, you'd have to say my life is weird. But how did it start to become so out of the ordinary, I here you cry? Well, I'll tell you. Considering I'm still in that never-ending hole, I have plenty of time.
It all started with a quick ride to Ankh-Morpork when I was 5. My mother had to drop off some supplies at the Assasin's Guild. That was my mother all right; never afraid of the worst to come. Even though the particular assasin this package was for was my cousin Kip, but it was still brave!!!!!
Anyhow, I was waiting for her near the carriage we had come to the city in when an old man that, at the current time, appeared to be drunk, walked up to me. I stood still. I wasn't afraid of anything!!!!! Well, almost. I was shaking in fear, to be completely honest.
The man started to talk very quickly, but in a language I couldn't understand for the life of me. He seemed to be in a hurry, because he kept looking over my shoulder at something behind me. He finally gave up trying to make me understand him and handed me a long, decorated, and very, very heavy stick. I fell over from its weight and only heard the faint sound of a thud, swish, and a very soft SQEAK.
I looked up and saw the dead body of the old man. No wonder he was acting so odd, I thought to myself. He was going insane from being on the brink of dieing. Invollentary muscle spasms and all that. Although I was very smart for my age, I had a knack for ranting and ranting about subjects I didn't understand. Then again, this is besides the point. The main range of thoughts I was having at the moment was to run to the Assasin's Guild to find my mother, show her the big stick, and find a psychiatrist. That old man was starting to make me doubt my sanity.
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A/N: Ok, new and revised Prologue, check. Until next time!!!!!
Chapter 1 A/N: This one is for you guys, Dee; Bill.
So, you're back for more of the story, eh? Well, here goes:
Remember the big stick? Well, I seemed to like it a lot. Heck, the two of us were inseperable! After the day I found it, I said to myself, I shall name it Sticky, and it shall be my sticky. (A/N: Tee hee. And I haven't even seen the movie!)
After a while, though, weird things started to happen. One day, I was sitting on my bed thinking, when my annoying brother Sala (A/N: What? Sala Baker has a cool name!) came in and started doing his usual annoying brother routine. Singing badly, asking too many questions, that stuff. When I started yelling at him to go away, he ran out of my room so Mum wouldn't know he was there. Or, at least he would have run out if the door frame hadn't shrunk 4 feet and hit him on the head. And that was the smallest of cases that happened after I found Sticky.
One night, I had to go over to our neighbors' house with my family for dinner. Suffice to say, I was not happy. Our neighbors' daughter, Sophia, had always gotten on my nerves. This time it was even worse. She taunted me, taunted my brother (Hey, he's an annoyance, but he's family), and talked about my friends behind their backs with me standing right in front of her. Then, she started to attck the rest of my family with her words. She didn't get far, as I punched her in the face. In hindsight, that probably wasn't a good move, considering her mother came upstairs to tell us dinner was ready. I was grounded for a month.
The day after, I woke up and heard screaming. That night, Sophia's house had caught on fire and burned down almost completely. Sophia had to have her right leg and left hand amputated because of excessive burning. It was a miracle she didn't die! With that news, I hugged Sticky and started crying. I didn't mean to hurt her! I don't know if I even did it! I hope I didn't... That night, I found that Sticky had burn marks on its handle and top. I knew I did it right from the start. I had to stop it before things got worse. I sighed, picked up my cloak, and snuck out of the house to the nearest counselor I knew of such happenings: Lancre. I set off to find some witches and never looked back.
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Ok then. That was angsty. So...I'll be seeing you!!!!!
-Si
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