| Episode 2: Bands of the Future *fades in with catchy music* Gilderoy: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Hogwarts Idol, 1972!!!!! Here are our contestants: James Potter+++Sirius Black+++Remus Lupin+++Peter Pettigrew+++Lily Evans+++Severus Snape+++Lucius Malfoy. Ludo: Let's bring out our first contestant, James Potter, singing, "One Week." Audience: [Screaming, random screaming fangirls] James: It's been one week since you looked at me/Cocked your head to the side and said "I'm angry" /Five days since you laughed at me saying /"Get that together come back and see me"/Three days since the living room /I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you/Yesterday you'd forgiven me/but it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry/Hold it now and watch the hoodwink/As I make you stop, think/You'll think you're looking at Aquaman /I summon fish to the dish, although I like the Chalet Swiss/I like the sushi/'cause it's never touched a frying pan/Hot like wasabe when I bust rhymes/Big like LeAnn Rimes/Because I'm all about value/Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits/You try to match wits, you try to hold me but I bust through/Gonna make a break and take a fake/I'd like a stinkin achin shake/I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours/Gotta see the show, cause then you'll know/The vertigo is gonna grow/Cause it's so dangerous,/you'll have to sign a waiver/How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad/Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad/I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral/Can't understand what I mean?/Well, you soon will/I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve/I have a history of taking off my shirt /It's been one week since you looked at me/Threw your arms in the air and said "You're crazy"/Five days since you tackled me/I've still got the rug burns on both my knees/It's been three days since the afternoon/You realized it's not my fault/not a moment too soon/Yesterday you'd forgiven me/And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry /Chickity China the Chinese chicken/You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'/Watchin' X-Files with no lights on/We're dans la maison/I hope the Smoking Man's in this one/Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic/Like Sting I'm tantric/Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy/ Like Kurasawa I make mad films /Okay, I don't make films/But if I did they'd have a Samurai /Gonna get a set a' better clubs/Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs/Just so my irons aren't always flying off the back-swing/Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon /'Cause the cartoon has got the boom anime babes/That make me think the wrong thing/How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad/Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad /I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral /Can't understand what I mean?/Well, you soon will/I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve/I have a history of losing my shirt/ It's been one week since you looked at me/Dropped your arms to your sides/and said "I'm sorry" /Five days since I laughed at you and said/"You just did just what I thought you were gonna do"/Three days since the living room/We realized we're both to blame,/but what could we do?/Yesterday you just smiled at me Cause it'll still be two days till we say we're sorry/It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry/It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry /Birchmount Stadium, home of the Robbie... Audience: [Screaming] Dumbledore: That was the perfect song for you, James. 10 out of 10. McGonagall: I have to agree with Dumbledore on this one. Beautiful work. Muller: I am sorry to say that you will not be making it to the top, Potter. Ludo: Don't listen to her, James... James: Do I ever listen to her? Gilderoy: Good job, Jimbo. James: [suffice to say, quite miffed about previous statement] Don't. Call. Me. Jim. Bo... Ludo: Ooooooooook... Next, we have Sirius Black singing, "The Humour of the Situation." Audience: [fangirls scream their lungs out at said singer] Sirius:When you walked in, I said with a grin/That we were just talking about you/We all had to lie because you would cry/If you knew we were laughing at you /In the momentary lull before the band begins to play/There's an overwhelming stench of alibi/Come on now, now/Come on now, now/Enjoy the humour of the situation/Come on now, now /Come on now, now/Enjoy the humour of the situation/I said on the phone "don't wait til I'm home"/But I'm sure I could hear you crying /I said where I was, but you doubt it because/It's the caller I.D. you're buying/In the hour that it took for me to drive up to the door/You'd arranged all my belongings on the lawn/Come on now, now /Come on now, now/Enjoy the humour of the situation/Come on now, now/Come on now, now/Enjoy the humour of the situation/Have you heard the one about the boy/Who moved into the henhouse to sleep?/He woke up with egg on his face/When he found out all the hens had crossed the street/Come on now, now/Come on now, now /Enjoy the humour of the situation/Come on now, now /Come on now, now /Enjoy the humour of the situation/As I walked out, I thought about all I had left behind me /I felt a chill because I was still/Wearing the emperor's new clothes/My mind was racing with each chance that I had missed /While your next door neighbour soaked be with the house/I've never felt so small, I've never been so dissed/As I shiver, dripping, while the chorus goes:/Come on now, now/Come on now, now/Enjoy the humour of the situation... Audience: [blink; double-take] Audience after three seconds: [roar of applause and screaming] Dumbledore: That was a truly amazing performance, Mr. Black. You will most certainly be our next Hogwarts Idol. McGonagall: I'm still getting over the shock of it all. Is this why you are always talking during my classes? To perfect this amazing voice of yours? Sirius: Heh heh. Um, suuuuuuuuuuuuuure... McGonagall: Either way, you were absolutely incredible. Perfect score! Muller: [still recovering from shock] Muller after three minutes: [whispers to Mcgonagall] He's not so much... Gilderoy: Again, don't listen to- Sirius: Again, I never listen to Ms. Styrofoam-Head, guys. Ludo: Great!!!!! Sooooo...how much time do we have left? Gilderoy: Not much. Ludo: Ok! If you want to vote for James Potter singing "One Week," call idol01. If you want to vote for Sirius, call idol02. Goodnight everybody!!!!! *fades out with catchy music and screaming fangirls in the background* A/N: Whew! Chapter done! I want to get some stuff clear: -I have no idea why Sirius knows about Styrofoam. He's a smart kid; he figures stuff out for himself. -The visions Sibyll had: The clay vision I will tell when the plot gets there, but the radioactive guy came from the music video for "Get in Line," by Barenaked Ladies. Yeah, someone's gonna do that. I just won't say who.=) -Thanx to lyricsondemand.com for the lyrics and the person that invented the process of cutting, copying, and pasting on the computer. Big thanx to Bill, Marion, Baird, Dee, and all you guys for getting me into BNL. And, most importantly, thanx to the comprehension of loopholes. Without loopholes, I would have to make up wizard-like songs for made-up wizard bands of the 1970's. |
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