high performance/lots of ink/insecure Hollywood masculinities
CELEBRITY QUOTEBOOK
"The onLy problem with you moving to PhiLLy is that you don't have enougH memory on your phone."-me
"Yr gonna have to get some kinda corporate man pHone with a keyboard attached or eLse some peopLe are just gonna get cut."-me, continuation
"Temporary quotebook---like a prostitute, like a per-os-stitute."-Ty
"Because oF coLLege!"--Ty, to Why Do PeopLe Listen to Dave Matthews
"Because it makes tHem feeL like even awkward, ugLy wHite boys can have girLfriends."-Tonya
"Cause you're not gonna get hottness and good poLitics...unLess you're a lesbian."-bianca, about mating
"Well, at least I can be consoLed by tHe fact tHat you're goin to Hell!"-Bianca, wHen i won darts
"So tHe stories are apparentLy reaLLy straigHtforward and simpLe but..."-katejones
"Was it tHe internet, oR my startLing vocabuLary?"-ayron
"You can totaLLy text message us from heLL."-aLysHa
"You should say you're a stewardess. You LOOk like a stewardess."-Tonya, to Vesna
"And tHey're fLirting so tHey can fuck up everyone's shit there."-Vesna, about Simple Life II
"Lesbians everywHere...and not a drop to drink."-Tonya
"I feeL like i look like some sort of 80s Puerto Rican breakdancer."-Bianca
"I feeL like a lot of times cLassicaLLy-trained dancers don't reaLLy know how to get down."-Bianca
"i look like a big lesbian in gLasses."-Ty
"Like, wHat about someoNe wHo went aLong witH tHe cLinton administratioN wHo didn't reaLLy beLieve in it?...Like Madeline Albright?"-Tonya, searching for a poLiticaL counterpart to a controL freak wHo doesn't beLieve in their vision
"This song takes me back."-KeLLy / "Yeah, way back....to wHen i liked it."-Bianca
"DiptHong: two fag hags dancing like lesbians together."-collaborative quote
"Congratulations on yr new pLace!"-Me / "CongratuLations on your new hair!"-ayron
"HI! WeLcome to my--and perhaps yours---inconsistent aLcoHoL toLerance."-Annes
"Betsy witH a no-tHey-didn't-cHaser."-Ayron
"It was like a mall of bars...tHere were eLevators and shit."-Faith
"aaawwwww! Look at ann arbor from a bus!"-Tonya on the party bus. "This is my favorite famiLy trip ever!"
"Who are tHese D-Listers waiting for the bus?"-ayron!
"i'm a portrait oF heaLthy living!"-ayron
"And i'm going to a fat peopLe's thanksgiving so you know that's not a good thing!"-Bianca
"It's like an impLant and i'm NEVER taking it out!"-me, about tHe Keeper
"I wanted more history and i wanted more gay."-Annes, @ Alexander
"Back wHen tiMes were simpLer..."-Vito, about a guns n roses song coming on
"BasicaLLy right now we're having sex because tHis is what gay sex looks like to oLiver stone."-Bianca, hugging annes after they went to the movie
"That's what you get for gay-bashing."-Bianca
"For a 19-yr-oLd baby dyke? I don't think so. That's wHat lip rings are for."-Tonya, wHen i said babies make great accessories
"OH yeah, I put it on Project Runway because it's tHe same tHing."-Lydia, wHen tHe Next Top ModeL marathon ended
"A mouthfuL of oppressioN."-Bianca, @ no sugar, it's tHe root of oppression
"It's like a sex worm reachin' out to grab you."-Bianca, "A Sexipede!"
"Scooters are a part oF her heritage so don't be insensitive."-Me
"You get more masculine?"-Ty, wHen i was talking about being caLLed "sir" by a stewardess and i said "those kind of things happen when you're at 1o,ooo feet
"There's a party in your dart box."-Krystina
"She don't have to do anything except stay white and die."-Bianca
"How come otHer peopLe from Kenya can't have tHat good oF luck?"-Bianca, to Krystina
"Your mom's a bad infLuence on your: getting you drunk, takin' you to the ghetto, making you wait outside wHiLe sHe runs into someone's house for 1o minutes."-Annes, to me
"I think everybody's above me...unLess tHey're definiteLy beLow me."-Bianca
"It's not about the points, it's aLL about tHe roLL, baby!"-Hott Sarah, pLayin darts
"There's nothin like waLkin into the ladies room witH an oiL can oF foster's."-Me / "And coming out with a fuLL one."-Vito
"It's fuLL---oF me!"-Vito about his camera pHone
"Yeah, wHat are you doin' for New Years?....oH! it's over aLready!"-Vito
?"WeLL, i saw something tHat made me suspect...and...that...was...his....ass...and his breasts."-ayron, after i said some guy's crew cut made me think he was a trannie?
CHRISTIAN SLATER > SLEATER-KINNEY > ALFRE?D KINSEY
??S??HAKA CHAN > GHENGIS KHAN?
?"What's up Dude?"-Vito, rubbing my tHigh, "It's not like I'm queer or anything!"
"Emma's smuggLin' JohnsonviLLe Brats!"-Ayron, like tHe commerciaL, about tHis weird storY a straight lady wrote that i was teLLing him about where a girL kisses another girL and is hoLding a sausage under her coat (gross!)
"I'm getting back on the speed just to kickstart my heaLthy living!"-ayron
"Dance! Dance tHe dance oF life!"-Vito
"You looked so cute. You looked so cute when David dragged you over tHere like his littLe lesbian son."-Ange, about me being introduced to Sarah SchuLman
"I don't know wHy i do this....oH! actuaLLy i do. i wrote about it in my journaL tHe otHer day."-Nikki
HARRY TRUMAN > HARRIET TUBMAN ///// ISAAC NEWTON > FIONA APPLE !!!!
"Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam....CULT-ure CLub."-Ayron, backing up his link to Boy George
"Wait untiL i get a do-rag in the deck."-ayron
"I didn't reaLize it was mean untiL i said it!"-ayron, about saying "Well, that would give his face a little personality."
"This is the kind of thing that makes you wanna say 'Just because you CAN do it doesn't mean you should. Like I sort of want to say that to MariaH Carey sometimes. Just because you can hit the highest note ever doesn't mean anyone wants to hear it!"-KeLLy Jean
"WeLL, it's a homeLy lesbian trait."-Ayron, about lesbian earnestness
"With that lighter...and that ass....she's a hot commodity!"-Ayron, about me!
"Fuck you just teLL me wHat buttons to push you dick."-Ty to the computer
"He woke up and it was a drag queen hoLocaust."-ayron, about a movie?
"You two look like a boy band."-Mary Black about katejones and ty
"Anything about taste and styLe and i'm bent over like a scHooLboy ready for my next lesson."-Me
"But he's got a nice fLanneL. And I love your crooked hat...way to be different!"-ayron
"That was my foray into pLagiarism...i ratted myseLf out in 3 or 4 minutes."-ayron, @ his pat benetar songs
"No! i'm teLLing you that you attract straight women as weLL as queer women."-Diana, sternLy, to me??
"iT's too earLy for tHem to be in love."-Me / "Have you ever met women wHo date women before?! Did tHat just come out of your mouth??!!!"-Diana / "I think it's just deniaL."-Me
"CLearLy you didn't have enougH time with this chick iF you couldn't even teach her tHe disadvantages of wearing fringe."-krystina
"We couLd put it on the corner oF State and Anne and sHe couLd raise it or lower it wHen sHe wants."-Tonya
"I'd rather do it on a 4-track in May."-Ty, without hesitation when kate suggested (?) sHe record an ???a?t? ?t?h?e? Zone
"SEe! In the summer I aLways want to dress like a lesbian!"-Vito
"I like to listen to it wHen i cut myseLf."-Vito about KeLLy's aLbum
"Without your roots, none of us wouLd have tHis hair."-RaLphie, when vito was compLaining about his roots
"She was a goth Brownie!"-Brigid, about Tiffiany
"I ??learned about racism at the bLack schooL."-Brigid
"This woman is a crack wHore and sHe spent some of her crack money to buy tHese..."-AyesHa, about Lydia
"You're not gonna use any precautioN."-Tiffiany, about condoms.
"Her poLitics of precaution."-AyesHa, after i said "she knows her inner feeLings about precaution."
"He NEVER knows wHat to do."-katejones, when we were listening to Confessions Part II
"I haven't done laundry since I met you."-Tonya
"I sometimes tHink tHat's a fundamentaL faiLure oF shoe design."-Sara Gothard
"Sex and tHe Chessy."-Vito, after i said "isn't that picture so Sex and tHe City?
"FamiLy. MiLitary. Same thing."-RaLphie
"Someone's aLways stickin' sometHin up your ass wHen yr not lookin'."-Vito
"Well, to be honest tHere are some aspects about her that are unique...but you can find them anywhere."-Matty
"Rosa, Estevan...and what's their other sister's name? Nina? Pinta? Santa Maria?"-Ayron
"Wait! Are we sure it's the don't fight crime guy?"-Heidi, repeatedly during a triviaL pursuit question
"I think aLL of the Jews sHouLd have guns."-Faith
"Yeah, she's briLLiant but she's living in Hawaii farming nuts....and living in a tree."-coLLaborative quote...we love you Bianca!
"She just does tHat to get some mad pussy."-Ayron, about me wearing "high-brow homemade shirts"
"We better be drinking beer cause my work ain't gonna work itself at 9 in the morning! I can't seLL cLothes without a hangover!"-Pete
"i bareLy know wHat i'm doing. wHoa, settLe down!"-Annes about getting hit on by Gays for a Day
"I know -- it's cause of laundry."-Annes, about her cLeavage
"Never sHave angry."-Ayron, faking advice for Asia wHen she found armpit hair