Hypoglycemia, My Constant Companion.

A few weeks ago I was waiting outside a classroom for a lecture and I recognised the girl stood opposite me. I knew she was in one of my classes but couldn't for the life of me remember which one or more annoyingly, her name. Social interaction is one of my worst areas but in the spirit of University and new beginnings and all that I said 'Hiya.' The conversation stuttered along and I asked the basic start-up questions of 'what class are you waiting for?' and 'how's it going?' I then tried to relate that answer to something in my own experience to try and generate some sort of acceptable comment that would carry the conversation on and not leave it lying in the ditch that it was (as usual) careering towards. She courteously returned my question and I replied with the class title and who it was with. 'Oh, I've got Starting to Write with Barrie,' and then casually added, 'do you know Barrie?' In the few agonising seconds after this question her face slowly changed and she looked, above all, confused. I mirrored her gaze as I knew I had done it again. 'Yes,' she said, 'I'm in her class with you for Writing Media.' Needless to say I made my apologies, and ran, like the wind, around the corner so I could not see the look I imagined on her face. She must have thought I was retarded or something, part of some sort of outreach scheme to help stupid valleys girls get into Uni and get a life. The truth is, this happens to me at least 6 or 7 times a day and I can't stop it. I suffer from low blood sugar. 'Wow', you might say, 'big whoopedy whoop'. But this thing is ruining my life and has been making me feel stupid and incompetent ever since about the age of thirteen. You wouldn't believe the ridiculous things I have said to people and level of confusion I have had in the simplest of situations. So, after that wonderfully embarrassing conversation with my fellow writer I decided that I had had enough. I needed to try and find a solution or at least some sort of preventative to the most irritating symptom of this condition; stupidness.

        What I have (or what I supposedly have) is low blood sugar, which is technically known as hypoglycemia. To have this without being diabetic is stupidly rare. In my case it is made worse by stress and is related to Migraine headaches. More importantly there are two sets of symptoms. The first set relate to the nervous system, they include; Trembling, clamminess, palpitations, anxiety, sweating and hunger. I can cope with these, they are relatively easy to hide or work through as they are not so severe. It's the second set however, that are the ones I'm worried about. They are caused by a lack of glucose in the brain. They are; Difficulty in thinking, confusion, headaches, seizures, coma and ultimately, death. Here's hoping the last three won't happen any time soon. The first three occur nearly every day making me out to be an idiot and unusually slow. I do not want to go to meet my first proper employer in five years time and have him throw me out of his office because I got the words mixed up in my head and congratulated him on reaching his accomplished state of acne.

      So I went to see the Doctor. She is the very same that originally diagnosed me, so I foolishly thought she would be the best person to ask. She seemed quite pleasant at first, probably thought I wanted an abortion or condoms or something and she put on her 'I'm not judging you, I'm really your friend' face. She turned out to be very condescending and impatient, more than I remembered. It was as though I was wasting her time with such an unimportant subject and she would much rather be fingering Mr. Jones' smelly foot fungus sat waiting patiently in the next room. Her sparse advice was to eat regularly. No shit! Well I didn't think of that one did I? Next I attempted to trawl the internet and find some truth among the speculation and blatant tripe you find on Google. The most common form of site I found was similar to www.emedicinehealth.com. It was very informative, particularly about the causes and symptoms but focused on prevention for diabetic patients. Thus, heralded no hope for me. One of the best was http://diabetes.niddk.nih.gov. This site was obviously again geared towards diabetics, but as it is rare to have it without being diabetic I suppose that makes sense. The site explained that there are two forms of hypoglycemia that can occur in people without diabetes; reactive (postprandial, or after meals) and fasting (postabsorptive). Reactive hypoglycemia is not usually related to any underlying disease; fasting hypoglycemia often is. It stated that the symptoms of both types resemble the symptoms that people with diabetes and hypoglycemia experience, i.e.; hunger, nervousness, perspiration, shakiness, dizziness, light-headedness, sleepiness, confusion, difficulty speaking, and feeling anxious or weak.

       It seems most likely that I have the reactive type as the symptoms appear within four hours after I eat, and the best thing was they had advice on treatment for this type. It's very much the same as what the Doctor said, only prettier and a bit more in depth and far more helpful. I must eat small meals and snacks about every three hours, exercise frequently, eat a selection of foods, including meat, poultry, fish; starchy foods such as whole-grain bread, rice, and potatoes; fruits; vegetables; and dairy products. I must choose high-fibre foods and avoid foods high in sugar, especially on an empty stomach. Simple I suppose, but I'd like to know how I fit all that into my backpack along with my laptop and 'The Norton Anthology of Poetry' and how am I supposed to magically pluck 20 minutes out of thin air every three hours to sit down and eat all this. To answer these questions I thought it best to ask a long time sufferer. Geoff, my Dads work friend. His symptoms are roughly the same as mine and he said he frequently has to leave meetings and go off somewhere and eat only to return 10 minutes later to a bemused room of people and finally remember what he wanted to say about the application for planning permission. He said that it's hell and it only happens when you least expect it or when you least want it to. He said 'you can't be superwoman when you have this. You can't afford to rush around all day and miss meals or you could be in trouble.' He is right. I've sort of known it all along. The truth is those last three symptoms are real; seizures, coma and ultimately, death. There is no permanent wonder cure that I can take once a day and get rid of this. So after my great quest I go forth into this world with a nutrigrain bar in my pocket and an inane grin on my face.