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| Dear Bathroom Bore, oops I meant Whore. I must say unfortunately your circumstance is one of commonplace in the greater metropolitan area. Many 'city' men search for potential �single� prey at after-work �scenes�. The most popular of all after-work activities is the �happy hour�. The married man will use this post-work ritual as a means of flirting and wooing single ladies for the sole purpose of self-gratification. The most widely used method of "capture" is the �single-man decoy�. The married man will befriend 1 or 2 single coworkers to use as bait. Once the �bait� has reeled in a few single fish, the preying mantis (a.k.a. married sack of sh*t) will swoop in for the kill. Mission accomplished. Their intention is two-fold, to see if they still have what it takes to �entice� the singletons and also to brag to their work buddies the next day (the competitive beasts that they are). They may, like your man, hope for a night of pure passion (or brief bathroom encounter). In their trivial minds they have all the bases covered, the wives think they are out to be social, to blow off some work steam and chat with colleagues and the single women think they are in the proverbial �game�. A few single women know better, but more so don�t. My answer to you is this; you are the single one, you can do what or who you want, you aren�t the one who has to go home at night and explain why your neck smells of another woman�s scent. Yes you did know beforehand that he was deceiving you and yet you continued to indulge your own primal needs, this is something that you should not make into a habit; there are plenty of single men out there (where!! where!!), so why waste precious time with a worthless two-timer. Mistakes do happen, learn from them, think karma and never do this again. Signed fegolicious �I take the 5th� fego Ps � Remember ladies, those rings do come off. |
| Todays Topic: Love in the 'Toilet' (Literally) |
| Dear fegolicious, I had a wild (talking junglesque wild) adventure last Thursday night. While at a lame ass happy hour with one of my friends (proving, or so I thought) to be meatless (a.k.a. not a lot of hot salami roving the bar scene) night, we decided to cruise over to one of my favorite tapas joints for a few snacks and sangria. It was packed, and the bar had a decent work crowd. I noticed immediately the cutest guy in the place but of course, being a woman of 30, scanned for that shiny band of gold and voila! There it was. He was married. So I figured this was the perfect opportunity to �make love� to some garlic shrimp and sangria. While �making love� I noticed Mr. Married waving me over, I glimpsed to my left to make sure it was I he was summoning and not his misplaced wife. By this time my friend was engaged in conversation with his (single) friend and not paying any attention to me. Curiosity then led me over to the end of the bar where he sat and sipped his Chivas on the rocks. �You�re beautiful� he said (of course that ring he had sported just minutes before was inexplicably absent). �Thanks� I replied. Looking yonder at my now orphaned shrimp. �I want to kiss you� he uttered. Astonished I just looked into his eyes. �What�? �Ever been kissed in a bathroom before� he said. �No�. �Then I suggest we slip downstairs�. I bashfully retreated to my end of the bar and continued with my safe drink and safer feast. The persistent motioning commenced once again. I don�t know if it was the sultry ambiance, the moonlight (there was no moon out) or the fruity Sangria, but some force greater than me pulled me towards this seemingly adulterous individual in what I was about to refer to as a �the Spring of my Loins�. What happened next, you�ll need to buy the book. But I will say it was wild and crazy and�short lived. We never met again or planned on it. I guess I don�t really have a problem except that my conscience wants to know. Did I do something immoral fegolicious? Was messing around with an obviously unhappy and unfaithful married man wrong? Signed: The Bathroom Bandit |
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