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Dear Silently Seeking Salami,

While I share in your wantonness of a good badda BANG! I do not share in your eagerness to suggest change of employment. That is your turf sister! You call the shots, not tiny tim. Why should you be forced to run and hide from his inadequacies? I much prefer the aforementioned �humiliation� approach. When in doubt always choose revenge. The best method of choice would be via office intranet (if it is readily available) or old faithful, office email. Circulating office memorandum is more of a circa 1990�s approach, but it doesn�t hurt to cover all your bases. Couple this by spreading rumors (all of them true of course) at your every convenience. Please include me on your distribution list at [email protected] - I don�t want to miss this one. In one final note I would like to quote one of the great lyrical poets of our time, the late Big Pun (a.k.a Big Punisher). This quote is directly from a classic song written about the trials and tribulations of one man (a.k.a. homie #1) faced with a lady (a.k.a. skank, biaatch, hoe) he desires willingness to be with another man (a.k.a. homie #2) who ain�t got the right Stuff (a.k.a. big tool 4 U, big 'tool' in general)- here it goes...�But your man can�t do it like that�.he can�t work da middle cause his THINGS to LITTLE�.

Yours truly, fegolicious (always checks the goods before flying) fego

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Todays Topic:
"The Office 'Bang' - or Not?

Dear Madame fegolicious,

I am in a pickle, a �pickle� indeed (and that pun is intended) - One night about a week ago I got really really �tipsy� on cheap wine with a couple of co-workers at our local watering hole �The Village Idiot�. After a few short hours it was down to this no name guy from accounting and me. As we sipped our Chablis and nibbled on bar food favorites I became strangely enticed by the way he suckled on chicken wings, so enticed that I propositioned him for a round of �late night stereo� at my place (a.k.a - a night of two-way lovemaking on my lazyboy). He willingly obliged. As we headed back to my apt I began to feel somewhat uneasy about the bumpy journey ahead, a premonition if you will � but once I took a glance at those glistening meaty lips I fell victim to his mulorkio (the every so intoxicating lure of the animal). Once in my swinging chalet of love, I prepared for a night full of �Hot Stuff� � he then began kissing me, undressing me and before I knew it he was on top of me preparing for what we ladies like to call a game of �ultimate boom boom� - just then, right before �Lift Off� he matter of factly said �I just want to let you know that I am really really small�. My eyes widened with un-anticipation. Good grief! What a thing to say and right before nonetheless, there was no turning back now, le petite penis was eminently upon me, there was no escape. And just as soon as he professed his inadequacies he �came� with just as �little� effort. I think a pinprick would have been more pleasurable (and more effective). You may be wondering what is my problem, my problem is this; I am now being harassed by this �little� lover all throughout my work place and though I shun his come-ons and sexual innuendo�s daily he still persists. What is even worse is he has told all his office buddies (which are probably just as �little' as he) all about our �tumultuous� 2-minute tango - I am afraid he may be embellishing the truth or even worse impeding on my fabulous reputation as a great lover! Should I publicly humiliate him or should I just find a new job?

Signed: Still Horny and Hot for Meat (real Meat that is).