It is a truth universally acknowledged that Franchise FC are a hapless, hopeless sham of a football club that are crashing to the ignominious relegation they and their two idiot fans so richly deserve. There will be no tears shed when the league place that was sold to Milton Keynes is deservedly devalued by one division. Of course, it's no great surprise that a fake team playing in a joke stadium should be found furtively shuffling around near the bottom of the table. But what has surprised many people is how woefully bad Franchise are. Thanks to Herculean ineptitude on so many levels, Franchise are on schedule to limp out of English football's second tier before the end of March. That's pretty good going - but to provide some historical context to judge Franchise's current performance, we looked at all of the worst division one teams from the past one hundred years. How do Franchise rate amongst the truly awful sides of the past century?

First of all, we must note that Franchise are not the worst team ever. That honour belongs to a team from 100 years ago: from their 34 games, the 1904-05 Doncaster Rovers team managed to garner a whopping EIGHT points, and no other team - not even one with Pete Winkelman's coke-powered enthusiasm - is ever likely to beat their record. But of the 1,878 worst-ranked performances in the second tier of English football from the past 100 years, how do Franchise compare? Unfortunately, a simple direct comparison isn't possible, due the different lengths of season and the change from two to three points for a win. But if we correct for the points differential and compare teams based on the average points earned per game, Franchise are currently a very creditable fourth. They're worse than the 1946 Newport County side. Worse even than Glossop North End's poor showing in 1914. As things currently stand, Franchise are the fourth worst division one team from the past 100 years - and by Christ, with thirteen games still to go they could get even worse! Having virtually sown up their relegation berth for this season, Franchise might decided that just coming last isn't enough, and that they want more. So look out, the 1938 Tranmere Rovers squad! Lock up yer daughters, Gateshead 1927! The shabbiest Franchise in the country are now marching on history...

Rankings are based on points per game, as seasons varied between 34 and 46 games. All teams from the second tier of English football are included. The war-shortened 1939-40 season is not included. Play was suspended between 1915 and 1918, and 1940 and 1945, because the Jairmans bombed our chippy.