by Rina K. Fenderson
12. Reach
Tatsumi stood in the doorway for a long time, a small collection of files tucked under his arm, and strands of his hair falling into his face to imply that the day had been one of the �longer� ones. Sapphire eyes were trained on futon near the western window of the room where two shinigami remain positioned exactly how they had been for the past week. The secretary tilted his head back to the threshold of the door and closed his eyes, not really wanting to see either of his co-workers in such a state.
"Tsuzuki-san," Tatsumi said softly, though his voice didn�t rouse the dark-haired male until he raised it and repeated the name. Amethyst blinked groggily and his body jerked from whatever daydream or nightmare he was immersed in. Tatsumi brushed a few strands of his brown hair behind his ear, trying to keep his expression stern though he felt his heart melting at the sight of Tsuzuki so torn. "Have you eaten today?" Tsuzuki merely looked away, his own hair shading his features in the dim light of the room. A few shafts of sunlight slipped through the blinds over the window, striking across the futon in bright, blinding bars and illuminating the motionless form beneath the sheets. "I don�t want to leave him." Tatsumi felt his chest flare up and tighten, as he watched Tsuzuki run his fingers across the form�s brow, just over unresponsive, unblinking dull emerald orbs. They hadn�t known what to expect when they had raced into the laboratory to retrieve Hisoka, but Muraki�s words of warning rang true. They could do nothing to bring the boy back. Hisoka was so deeply tied into Muraki�s hypnosis that nothing any of them did was registered nor did he show many signs of remain in the body Tsuzuki carried back to JouOhChou. They decided to house him within JouOhChou itself rather than the apartments so someone would always be present to watch of him. Not that it made much of a difference while Tsuzuki never left his side. His co-workers often had to bring him his meals, waiting with him until he choke it down as well as a few times Watari had to sedate him in order for him to rest. Within a few days, Tsuzuki realized that he could sleep less if he obediently fell asleep when they asked him rather than taking the medication, though getting him to eat was still a bit of a trial. "He�s not going anywhere, Tsuzuki-san, and I don�t think he will be very pleased to see you so sickly when he awakes," Tatsumi warned, thought his words seemed to go unheard. He pushed his body away from the threshold and turned to leave Tsuzuki be. "I�ll bring you a tray in a few minutes." "He looks like me..." Tatsumi paused, his eyes closing briefly. Compared to Tsuzuki�s condition after Muraki had raped him, Hisoka was clearly much worse off, but the shinigami didn�t want to say that to his comrade as it would probably make him even more fearful. So instead he asked, "What do you mean?" "Before I died...when I was partially...when I was dying," Tsuzuki muttered, his hands clasping his ankles in a child-like manner as he sat Indian-style before the futon. "He hasn�t even blinked...its like he�s dead but he�s still breathing...that�s how I was. There were so many horrible images in my mind...and I kept thinking it would better in the world if they didn�t have to endure me." Tatsumi entered the room in concern, abandoning his files on the table beside the door. "I don�t think this is much like that--" "Do you think if he was more awake he would kill himself?" "Tsuzuki-san...no, besides he can�t," Tatsumi whispered, kneeling beside Tsuzuki, who didn�t even look up at the tall male. "He would have an even more difficult time than you did...he�s already dead." "I wish I could save him from whatever he�s seeing." "We all do..." "Part of me is saying we should end his life...so he can die in peace," Tsuzuki whispered, apparently Tatsumi�s earlier declaration of that being impossible ignored. The Shinigami�s voice was rough in his throat, cracking slightly and Tatsumi felt fear from his words, scared of how far Tsuzuki�s mind had fallen without Hisoka to support him. "But, I can�t bare the thought...I can�t live without him...even if its just his breath...just seeing his face, those emerald eyes." His own striking eyes flickered over to Tatsumi. "Am I really that selfish?" "No...no, you are just that faithful," Tatsumi answered, with a gentle smile and a brush of his knuckles over Tsuzuki�s cheek. Even tortured this much, he was still beautiful beyond words. "He will come back to us...just be patient...I�m going to get you some food, then you should get some rest." Tsuzuki nodded meekly, watching Tatsumi rise to leave for a moment, before looking back at Hisoka�s soft features, eyes wide and dull, mouth slightly parted as if in sleep. He heard the door shut softly, but didn�t pay any mind as he moved forward, curling up timidly against Hisoka�s side and no longer hinder the eager tears that slipped down his cheeks.