by Rina K. Fenderson
13. Emerge
*My doll.*
It always began in darkness, ended there as well...this loop of heated nightmare. Always with no sight or speech. His left ear always exposed to hear the echo of his captor�s voice, though it didn�t matter as it was in his mind continuously. He could feel a tightness around his body, the rubbing of leather and silk ribbon tied around his limbs. They kept his body stretched, arms high over head, torso arching as they chaffed painfully over bare skin. Then the silk ribbon slipped from his eyes, his captor unraveling it from his prize. The crimson red seemed to taint the other male�s thin pale fingers as it held the fabric. Perhaps it was the boy�s blood that made it such a deep maroon... The man smiled. *My toy...this will be your last lesson, last punishment.* The boy remembered when he first heard that, the relief that had spread over his body even as the leather tightened and the man pressed closer. But not anymore, now faith and hope were unknown aspects of life, for he knew the promise that followed. *It will be the lesson you will remember...for you will never escape it. You can never escape me.* Never...always... Hands groped at his body, slipping under leather straps, unraveling the blood-red ribbon. The words continued. *No longer an obstical, no longer a bother.* The pale man told him this, silver hand slipping from obstructing his right eye which seemed to be mutilated...or mutated. *I�ve won. You are mine. My toy. My doll.* His eyes tried to close, tears endeavored to form, his body wanted to convulse and buck, to get the offender away, but he was paralyzed and weary. All he knew were madly gentle hands that careful cut through skin in patterns, the slow rocking of their bodies together that often turned a bit violent when combined with the ministrations of the knife to skin. He couldn�t recall his name, his features, his heart�s usual beat... He wondered if the man was even with him anymore. He wouldn�t be surprised if this demon man had left him to his own nightmares, recreated over and over again with his own mind and fears. He wouldn�t be astounded if the man trusting into him was a figment of his imagination, that the being had lost interest long ago and left him to his own repeating hallucinations. But he couldn�t escape. He couldn�t convince himself this was true. He couldn�t even clench his fist or scream. There was a sudden feeling of distortion when he heard sobbing. At first believing it to be himself, his brow knitted and his mind continued to conjure up this pale demon dragging a knife down his side to his hip, then back again. The ribbon seemed to be getting darker with his blood. *Please.* He felt a bolt go through his body, wracking it gently. What? *Hisoka...* Who? Who was... Eyes closed in painful confusion. The man above him seemed to recoil, though eyes never left the boy, body not complete retracting. The world seemed to be pulsing now, a timed beat that made his chest ache. *Hisoka, please...come back.* Where? Who are you? His body twisted, the leather loosening, the ribbon falling limp. He could feel the fabrics slide over his body and shuddered, but when he opened his eyes it wasn�t the pale man looming over him, the fingers gripping the red ribbon weren�t pulling them tighter, but tugging them away, the eyes that stared down weren�t a maliciously smiling silver, but a wide, gentle, and fearful amethyst. He seemed to glow with a pale white light, illuminating the dismal gray that usually cloaked the nightmare. His dark hair was hallooed with brightness, that matched the pure color of his eyes, which smiled as they met the boy�s. *Hisoka...I love you, come back to me. Please.* Love? Who? He felt his body shaking slightly as the male�s gentle fingers swept over his cheek, there was none of the demand or insanity in his touch that the pale aggressor before him held, just true honesty and absolute compassion. Hisoka closed his eyes again, reveling in the warming touch. This was... He felt his heart skip when his eyes opened to witness wings rising from this savior�s back, glittering with soft silver, nothing like the harsh light beholding the male of before. The wing�s spread out, every feather vivid, tangible, every detail... He wanted to reach out and run his fingers of the fringe. His hands were free, the angel working on unraveling the ribbon and leather from his body little by little. He was awestruck, motionless in the man�s beauty, but somehow...he felt as if he knew this man... The white wings lowered, encasing him in a heaven that consisted of only he and the angel. He could feel his heart beating faster, his hands coiling into his body, feeling humble to this amazing being. Feeling that if he should touch those magnificent wings or the smooth skin of the angel�s cheek, the soft fur of chestnut colored hair he would stain it with his vulgarity and damned humanity. The wings reached out to him though, brushing over his bare skin without hesitation, tickling his senses and kissing him with puffs of air. He felt a lump growing in his throat that the beautiful sight, his eyes never leaving the amethyst depths that glazed down at him. His body felt such warmth it was becoming unbearable. His hand reached up of its own accord, flitting in a barely-touch over the angel�s cheek. *Come back to me...I love you...* The amethyst eyes closed at the touch and a warm teardrop slipped down splattering against his chest. Tears welled in his own eyes and suddenly everything collided into a wracking sob that carried one stumbled word. �Tsu-Tsuzuki!� The light diminished abruptly as if green eyes blinked had closed rather than opened. They darkened slightly, yet somehow brightened to an emerald color, the pupil dilating to see in the dimly lit room. The gray shades that blinded the eye before were gone. This room was real; four walls, ceiling, floor, door, window...bed... Hisoka felt very, very disoriented for a while. His senses slowly coming back to him, his mind trying to recall what had happened. *Muraki,* he remember. *Taken from Tsuzuki, tortured, raped...again. Where...now?* �Hisoka...please...please, come back. I need you...come back...I love you...please.� The words were so jumbled Hisoka couldn�t quite understand them entirely, but he felt a tightness around his body, unlike that of the nightmare. This was the feeling of being held, arms grasping tightly as if drowning. *Tsuzuki...* He was clasping to Hisoka around his waist, both of them lying on a wrinkled futon. Tsuzuki�s face was buried against Hisoka�s chest, his shoulders shaking with sobs. �Hisoka...please...Hisoka...� Hisoka closed his eyes. *He saved me...he brought me back* A smile graced his features as he raised an arm to run his fingers through Tsuzuki�s soft hair. *I guess we�re even now...* Tsuzuki seemed to gasp at Hisoka�s touch and stopped sobbing as well as breathing. Amethyst blinked up to Hisoka�s face, where the young man was still smiling softly, his green eyes happy to behold his lover. �I�m here...� �Hisoka?� Tsuzuki choked out, his breah coming in a rush and his eyes wide. �HISOKA!� Hisoka made a small sound of pain as Tsuzuki grasped him much more tightly. He was crying again, his mouth caught between crying out the boy's name in undescriable relief and placing kisses over his neck and face. Hisoka couldn�t control the small peels of laughter that erupted from his throat in relief and joy to be back in Tsuzuki�s arms. But Tsuzuki�s cries called on the concern of the others and soon Watari and Tatsumi were stumbling into the room, Tatsumi throwing the door open and Watari looking like he was ready to perform any medical treatment needed. Both of them looked flushered and frazzled. �Tsuzuki! What is it!? What�s happened?� �Hisoka! He�s awake, he�s back!� Tsuzuki laughed, tears still in his eyes as he pulled Hisoka into his arms, while he sat up on the futon. Hisoka blinked at the akwardness of the hold; his body curled into Tsuzuki, arms pinned. Though for the most part he didn't care; just touching his lover again was more than enough. Tsuzuki was rocking him slightly while he hugged him, his lips connecting with Hisoka's hair and cheek, before he agknowledged the others again. �Look look! He came back to me! Hisoka�s back!� Both men paused a second before they took in the alert bright eyes of emerald green that stared back at them, a small smile on his lips. Tatsumi found himself mirroring the grin, taking in the adorable picture the two made as Hisoka endeavored to wriggled into a more comfortable position, though Tsuzuki didn't seem to want to loosen his grip on the boy. Watari let off a relieved sigh and shook his head as he smiling brightly, walking into the room and kneeling beside the futon. �Bon! Welcome back! We were so worried!� �Sorry to make you concerned.� �Iie, iie!� Watari exclaimed, ruffling the younger male's hair, fondly. �Welcome back, Kurosaki-san,� Tatsumi claimed from behind Watari, his eyes soft behind the wire-rim of his glasses. Hisoka nodded to Tatsumi. He couldn�t erase the smile on his lips and he felt his heart swell in happiness as Tsuzuki placed another kiss to his temple. �I love you...mai koibito.� Hisoka tilted his head into Tsuzuki�s chest, tucking himself under his chin for a moment as he took in Tsuzuki's words with his warmth, scent, and aura, before sitting up and kissing him lightly on the mouth. �I love you too, mai tenshi.� �Tenshi?� Tsuzuki laughed. �I�m far from an angel.� Hisoka smiled, remembering clearly the feel of the feathers to his skin. He clasped his arms around Tsuzuki, still partially in his lap, his mouth close enough that it brushed Tsuzuki�s lips with his words; feather-like. �Iie, omae tenshi...mai tenshi.�*Owari*