| old quotes..... |
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| JEN- I won't say it if Cory's there he might ... eat me! SURFER GUY ON TRAIN- fucking.. *something something * fucking stupid fucking.. *something something* FUCKING THING'S FUCKED! SOME OLD LADY- Is there any need for that language?! DRUNK OLD LADY- SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!! RANDOM GUY AT THE TRAINSTATION (wearing a fluffy hat with one of those racoon tail thingys) Didn't I meet you last week or something? We went to 78's together? ....... *procedes to ramble about our supposed meeting* ME- umm.. no RANDOM GUY- oh okay.. well have a good day anyway! (leaves) ME- I have soooo never met him before in my life JEN- Yeah I was gonna say...! I didn't think you knew any eskimoes! ME- Tahli something happened to the computer! TAHLI- (Looking at the screen) Mother fuck... We best be getting a nerd... (pauses) ADAM!!!!!!!!! ME- (on msn) all these lil msn msgs keep flashing all over the place!!! JEN- I know! It's like anarchy! BRETT- No matter how good a shampoo smells.. don't ever ever eat it..... JEN- My eye hurts.. I think I have cancer... JEN- You have to either wear a piece of nofx clothing, contribute to the "jen needs to go see nofx live..." fund, or just know at least one nofx song... so pretty much anyone can come unless your naked, have no money and ha ve never heard of nofx ...then you're screwed. CORY- (while me and him are shopping for my pyjamas and underwear) This isn't for you to wear in Albany is it?! ME- Not particularly, just to sleep in and stuff CORY- GOOD! Cos there is nooooooo way I'm helping you choose your sex clothes! Me- Do you want me to carry some of that it looks heavy? Karen- nah I'm right... I know I'm little but I still have two arms!!! Brett *runs inside from cutting Nats hair, grabs a blanket and runs back outside Me- I don't think I even want to know.... Brett *yelling from outside* It's to mop up the blood! Me- *having a whinge on icq* I suckkkk! Adam- theres nuthin wrong with you and whoever says different can go eat some cock :P.... and if they like cock then they arent allowed any! Me- You'll have to come visit me when I move to Albany! Adam- Where there's a will, there's a car with a tank full of petrol! ME- (in the middle of a conversation about hot people) You know who's hot!? ZIM ZUM! (seeing Jen open her mouth ...) Don't say anything about him! ANDY- (over hearing) about who? ME- about shovel face.. (realising what I'd said) noooooo!!!!! ANDY- (saying goodbye to us) bye amanda! bye jen!! (*looks at jens sister*) .... bye... sister.... JEN- (as we both jump off the letterbox after she ashed in the wind and sparks are flying everwhere.) Oh man! u need an ACTIONS page on your website so we can put that on it! ADAM (after Andy came out with a cricket bat to hit some guy who punched Richard) ... hows it goin... BATman? ADAM- (joking) my mum's a man hating dyke who shaves her head! ME- (serious) does your mum really shave her head?! ADAM (laughing) no.. ahh you're as bad as Andy! ANDY- (serious) does your mum really hate men!? ME- oi Jen put this ring on I wanna see what colour it changes to! JEN- how bout it changes to the colour of fuck off! HOMIE GUY- we're going now... JEN- yeh that's right get your FUBU ass out of here! ANDY- are you having a girly talk?! Oh good can I come?! *gets up and comes running after us* JEN- AMANDA! the cops just came and called us young hoodlums!!! ANDY- Are you coming tomorrow? ME- nah I can't ANDY- why not? ME- I gotta go to Cory's place ANDY- for sex? ME- yeah.. who told you about that? ANDY- REALLY?! ME- NO!!!! ANDY (on ICQ) .. no one likes me cos I smell :( ME- aw sweetie u smell like donuts!!! ANDY- ..... *eats andy* ME- he had to get smashed without me?! No, I had to get smashed without HIM! Piker.. he and lance man.. they should form a club JEN- lol they could call it ...well..pike i guess ... pikers anonymous... a support group for ppl who well..pike i guess ME- my name is adam... and i'm a pikaholic JEN- he cant be as bad as lancer ... lance can be the group founder.... lol but thered never be any PA meetings,..cos no one would ever show up... ADAM- *talking about Zim Zum* he's so ugly.. he looks like he's been hit in the face with a shovel! .... Ahhh good old shovel face.... TAHLI- Knife and Fork would be great names for twins.... LATER.. me and Jen in 78's talking about the big day out kicking out crowdsurfers,.. ME- Yeah they get warned when they come over the first time, and then if they come over again they'll get kicked out JEN- but what if there's like, identical twins there?! They'll be like "I swear it was my twin brother!" and the security guy'll go "Yeah yeah suuuuuuure that's what Spoon just said" BRETT- im not cleo, so im not gonna pretend to know what to do... ME *looking at a hot guy get on our train and putting on my sunglasses straight away.* Ohhhh my god JEN- well why don't you make it obvious then!? ME- you think he's hot too? JEN- oh yeah! STRANGE GUY-- *starts drinking Dr Pepper* JEN- oh yuck.. that just put me right off.... ME-... *sadly taking off my sunglasses again* It's just all over now.. ME AND JEN- ewww yuck!! ADAM- *drinking kola beer* it's yum!! It tastes like cake! JEN- *looking under the staircase at the comic store* See.. I could live under this stair case *points to vaccuum cleaner* Look, if I get dirty, I can just vaccuum myself! ADAM- *hearing call waiting music after andy put us both on hold* Oh my god! We can hear the music!.. We can dance!!! Me- *trying to get Adam to eat something* Look.. here comes the aeroplane! Adam- *throwing a chip* .. there goes a flying chip! ME- so how much older than me are you? DANE- seven years ME- SEVEN YEARS!? DANE- ,... six? Me- huh? DANE-.. well seven's clearly too much for you, pick a number! Me- what?! DANE- ... how about five? four? look u tell me what would be an appropriate answer and that'll be it. ME- I think I'm going to give my balloon to a homeless person before I get on the bus... TAHLI- That's a good idea! I'm going to give mine to a homeless person! ME- You stole my i.... I'm going to give YOU to a homeless person! Me- I don't get guys hey.. JEN- hrmm the inner workings of a guys mind...not a place females should try to understand!! JEN- (on msn) I'm going to make some coffee... I'd offer u some but i havent yet mastered the art of making coffee for people who arent here Written on a label on a pot plant at Adam's house- "PLANTERRA" MATT- *ashes in his half full can of bourban..... then sees the ash tray* Adams brother James- ... *says something about stars* Me- Oh my god you have stars up here! James- Yeah yeah we do.. funny thing though... they only seem to come out at night... ME- (at 78s) CLAIRE! Go get me that book! Run my little elf! RUN! *Written on Adam's left arm-* "Adam's Arm" *Written on Adam's right arm-* "I can't write with my left hand" Adam- (continuing a long debate) the muffin an the chocolate milk was ONE present.. it's lke if I bought you a 12 course meal it'd be one present. Me- are you planning on buying me a 12 course meal? Adam- yep.. I'll buy you 12 lentils Me- what about a drink? Adam- I'll buy you a scotch too Me- ... I dont like scotch Adam - you'll need it after those lentils ADAM- It's MIDLAND! ME, ADAM, and ANDY -- >_< Me (mishearing Andy on the phone).. WHAT did you say? .... What am I wearing!? Andy- No! I didn't say that! You're crazy... ! ... what ARE you wearing? Adam (looking at a dark shadow) oh my god that pot plant looks like James' head! (LATER.. when the "pot plant" starts moving) Oh my god ! It IS James' head! Andy ( the day after I stayed at Claire's house) - so did you two fool around? Me- oh yeah of course Andy- REALLY!? Me- NO!!!!! Andy- (looking at my half polished floor) so hey, how much of that stuff did your dad actually spill? / Me- Oh heaps hey.. he was standing on a ladder when he was cleaning the oven. Andy- (looking around) really!? Me- NO!!!!!!! Andy (LATER ON) ... I was gonna say! I was wondering why the ladder wasnt still in the Andy- (picks up a bottle of coke) We can stick it in the freezer as soon as we get to your house Me- I don't have a freezer Andy- Really?! Me- NO!!!!! *later* Andy- (picking up two frozen pizzas) Okay we're gonna have to stick this in the oven as soon as we get to your house okay? Me- We don't have an oven Andy- REALLY?! Me- NO!!!!!! Adam- (messing up frozen pizza boxes in the freezer at Woolworths) YARRRRRRR I'm a pirate!!!!! LATER (messing up the icecream cartons in the freezer at Woolworths) YARRRRRR! I'm a pirate!!! Macca's chick- Hi can I help you? Me- Yep, small fries, small coke, no pickles. Macca's chick - you didn't order a burger Me- (not realising what I'd said) I don't eat meat Macca's chick- then why don't you want pickles Me- (look at her like she had two heads) Cos I don't like them! Two girls walk out of a cafe jabbering really fast in some other language- Adam- If they were walking backwards I'd think someone had pressed rewind.. Me (on the phone)- is that your mum? Claire- yeah she�s making tea Me- (mishearing) she�s making cheese!? Claire- yeah amanda, cheese.. she�s just bringing in the cow (starts making cow noises) QUOTES FROM CAZ.... Why aren't there any of my quotes on your page?! I say stupid things all the time! (trying to fix my balloon) I can�t fix it! I�m not Bob the Builder! I can�t fix EVERYTHING! Can we fix it? No we fucking CAN�T!... (pauses) ooh. I fixed it! (on the phone) oh my god! It�s prawns galore here! (After Jeremy pulled a knife on Matthias) Is anyone else finding this as slightly dramatic as I am? Can you not put that quote up there? I�ll say something else stupid! please... just not that!! Stop it people will think i�m nice! Imagine me being scary and short....it just wouldn�t work HA! Put THAT on your quotes page!! Calvin- (looking though my yearbook) Oh my god... what an UGLY school! You�re like, the only good looking chick in here! �Where I�ll be in 10 years time?� DEAD! Cos if I have to look at all your ugly faces for five minutes longer I�m going to KILL MYSELF!� Caz (on the phone to both me and Calvin) Hey mum how are you? Mrs Celli- What? Caz- how are you? You know hows things? What�s your outlook on life? Mrs Celli-(pause) If someone was trying to call us for help they�d be DEAD by now. Me- (looking at the back of my black suede jacket) Remind me to buy a patch for my ass today, it�s fading away. (* I did mean the ass of my jacket, which is fading away since the jacket is so old*) Me- Hey Westy, how old do you think he is? Westy- uhhhh 12? Shane- 15 Westy- (pauses and thinks) What stunted your growth? Some guy on the street- (passing Calvin talking on a mobile phone) Punk with a mobile... top look Muffin (on the bus as we pass stop at the traffic lights outside a video store...) Andyyyyyy are we there YET? Andy- Yeah Muffin, I live in the video store Me- Actually he lives in a hollowed out tree Muffin- Fuck you!!! I can't belive Calvin told you that Me- I can't believe you walked into a pole.... LATER.. Claire (on Andy's street looking at a bunch of trees) So.. Andy... which one's yours? Rob - (sitting on a chair in a room by himself) Can someone move the fireplace please? It's getting really hot here...please?... guys?... Claire: (at 12:30am watching cartoons, really, really, really tired) I'm going to make a cartoon about a cardboard box... Like Episode One: The packing plant, Episode Two: The Mailman... Andy: (hands tissues to Kate) Claire: There you go, Andy even unstuffed his bra for you! Andy: Let's ring Rob's mobile and interrupt whatever naughty things him and Daisy are doing! (dials number ...Rob's mobile starts ringing from his bag right next to Andy) Shit!!!!!!!!! Claire- (*to Tarryn who was wearing a really wooly jacket) If you can't get to sleep you can just count youself!! Andy:(At 3:30 am ... rushes into my room where I am ALSEEP and turns the light on) Manda!!!! Get up!!! It's nine o'clock!!! Me- (looking at clock) It's three thirty in the morning you wanker!! Andy: oh... (runs away...) Westy: (After getting very stoned and very drunk and throwing up... a lot) I love being Punk... Calvin: (very stoned and drunk sitting on the couch smiling at nothing)_ I love being Punk... Me (to Adam) do you have a bruise from where I bit you? Adam- dunno, but I've got this really cool scar here... Me- from what? Adam- Ninjas. Two of em attacked my house... Me- seriously? Adam- NO! LATER- (walking through forrest chase and seeing two ninjas with swords) Me- (turning to Adam) ... what are the chances? Someone I forget- (to James) Dude you look like Lars! Me- Nah Lars is really HOT! James- Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Leith- there we these homies last night and they were all like "Sup?!" and I was laughing at them, and then i fell on the ground and rolled around laughing at them,... and then they thought i was hurt so they were all like "sup dude?" and trying to help me up... and then I laughed at them some more and asked them to go away so I could just be by myself and laugh at them all alone.... *sighs* Leith- should I get in bed with Westy and pretend to be you Claire? (Runs into Westy's room, gets under the blankets and starts snuggling with his arms all over Westy...) Westy- (waking up) What the fuck are you doing man!? Claire (climbing into Calvin's bed thinking he was Westy...) - hey WwwwwwwCalvin? ? ? Me- (to Calvin having just woken up) Calvin? Are you throwing up? Calvin- (wakes up) What..? no Me- Okay then... (goes back to sleep) *WRITTEN ON ANDY'S ROOF* --- > "PUNK IS NOT DEAD!!!!!" .... *WRITTEN ON ANDY'S WALL --- > "PUNK IS SO DEAD!" Me- Do you remember biting me? Westy- Yes, and I also remember you slamming my head into the wall Me- oh, yeah ... sorry about that by the way! Roxy- Muffin lost my spikes in the mosh Me- (mishearing) She lost them in the WASH!? Calvin (on the phone)- hey whatcha doing? Me (pauses) - you don't wanna know Calvin- no tell me.. what are you doing..? Me - nah you REALLY don't wanna know hey! Calvin- no I REALLY do wanna know Me- (long pause)...... I'm making a cubby house Calvin- Are you serious!? Ritchie- (reading claire's page in my book) "you know I'm around when you look down".. yeah Claire's so short! Me- (laughing, in the process of getting drunk) Ohhhh that could be taken out of context sooo easily! Group of drunk yobbo's outside some pub- Goths SUCK!!!!!!! Jen- Only if you ask nicely! Jeremy- (cutting a line of pretzel) how smashed dya reckon I could get from snorting this pretzel? Anthony- (on the train to annoy an old lady) Amanda come here baby and give me some lovin'! Me- How much time have you got?! Me- (finishing a story) ... and so i woke up with Matthias on one side, Leith on the other, and Anthony behind me as a pillow. Jen- Oh my god! How did you come out of that situation NOT being raped!?! Sales girl at Tutti Fruity- Hi can I help you? Anthony- Yes. I'm after a slutty little black skirt Sales girl- (looks back and forth between us) Oh. Are you two chained together? Anthony- Yes, yes we are Sales girl- Is it a love thing?? Me- Not at all Anthony- It's just kinky Sales girl- I'll uh...... just get Chrystal to help you out (... runs) Anthony- do you have a spare smoke? I'm really shaking Strange old man at the trainstation- smoke? Now why do you want a smoke? Why does an attractive young man like you need a cigerette? You've got so much going for you! (looks at me) you've got a gorgeous wife and you're a dead ringer for Johnny Depp. Me- (drunk) I'm thirsty.. i could do with a drink of water but i don't think i can make it to the fountain Seth- I could run over there and get some for you and bring it back in my mouth?! Me- (pauses and thinks) has that line EVER worked for you? Seth- (hangs his head in shame) ........no |
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