| You can't speak..... |
| Well believe it or not me and my friends aren't the only funny people in the world...So, in addition to allllll the pages of quotes posted on my site.. here is another one that may tickle your sense of humour.. just like it does mine.. ha ha ha ha.. HA HA HA H....... HAAAA HAHAAAAAHAAAAA!! *sigh* okay. If you find any quotes that you think are worthy.. please, let me know |
| OTHER QUOTES |
| AUSTRALIAN COMMENTATOR AT THE OLYMPICS - (when the australian swim team came second) And they've won the silver!! They've won the silver!! Australia has taken home the silver!! Oh you can't get better than that can you!? "I was having breakfast with my mother this morning and I made a Freudian Slip. I meant to say pass the butter but instead I said you fucking bitch you ruined my life." - Richard Prince. WILL ANDERSON- "And so she's standing there, boobs ahoy, and...hang on...did I just say BOOBS AHOY?? It sounds like a Pirate Porn film! (starts hopping around the stage on one leg) Argh! Thar She Blows! We'll get ourselves a fine sperm whale! Argh! All hands to the mast! Taste the fine salty sea spray! And I wonder why I'm single. BOOBS AHOY? Where'd I pull THAT one from? WILL ANDERSON- "14? You're only 14? Woah, you're gonna learn a LOT of new words tonight. Here's one: clitoris. Ask your mum what it means, your dad won't know." WIL ANDERSON- (to Adam Spencer) "What's wrong with my tuft of hair? It's just facial hair! At least I don't look like I've eaten a ferret for breakfast and haven't quite finished!" \ DAVE HUGHES- You shouldn't eat maggots. They're flies babies.. they haven't had a chance to grow yet. CORRINE GRANT- It's the ABC.. They couldn't afford to send me to New Zealand WIL ANDERSON- It's the ABC, They couldn't afford BUGS WIL ANDERSON- I tell you about Melbourne mate, If we had a bushfire, we'd put it in the middle of the MCG, 120 000 people would go see that bushfire. DAVE- You're going to milk that Steve Irwin impression aren't you? WIL- I'm going to put it in every other segment in the rest of the show CHARLIE PICKERING- And the editors are just going to cut it out WIL- I might cut YOU out , it's my show ! DAVE- I thought it was OUR show Corrine- Yeah, OUR show! WIL- When I said my show, I mean our show.. just not Charlie. WIL- By stealing tic tacs, you can make a mint! WIL- I failed woodwork at school because, and this is a true story, I can't believe I'm going to admit this on national television.. I failed woodwork at school because I used to wag woodwork to go to my flute lessons. WENDY HARMER- You've got "Aviation Services and Contracts" on your shirt, what is that? What are you advertising? WIL - I'm not, I got this shirt at the op shop... I work for the ABC.. I get 8 cents a day CORRINE- You know what I did once, and this was horrible and he (points at WIl) was in the car and he LAUGHED at me! WIL - Yeah it's true CORRINE- I was driving along and there was a turtle on the road, it was either a turtle or a tortoise, I'm not quite sure which, and it was in the middle of the road, and I thought "Well that's not good enough is it it might get hurt" So I pulled over to get it off the road, and I scared it.. into the path of oncoming traffic.. and it got run over.. and I felt awful and I cried and he (points to Wil) .. he laughed! WIL- It was pretty funny you were like a really shit crocodile hunter... and remember that time you swerved to avoid the dog and hit that blind person!? WIL- My problem is that I drive a Barina, so if I try and run over a wombat my car is just going to girlishly squeal and collapse... DAVE- You could've finished that sentence with, 'my problem is that I drive a Barina'' ,,,, CORINNE- (talking about the Australian who got injured during the running of the bulls) He went running with the bulls to get over his fear of cattle.. it gets funnier... because when he was a kid, he was attacked by cow called Cheryl. WIL- (talking about what his dad always said when he smacked Wil) He always said "You'll understand why I'm doing this when you're older" and I do. Cause little kids are shit and fun to hit. WIL - At every world event there's always one pissed Aussie in the back. Anyway, one year or two years ago, watching the news, and that pissed Aussie in the background? My brother Ross.. adn like every single person in my family saw it right.. and it pisses me off.. cos none of them watch this show... ADAM HILLS- (Talking about his wooden foot) I can knock on it *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* CORINNE- Ooooh you're the luckiest person I know! ADAM - actually the luckiest person I know is a rabbit who carries a lucky charm with my other foot on it. DAVE- (To Wil) Jenny Kee is one of the finest kittes in this country William. What she's done for knitting.. you've done for... men's nailpolish CORINNE- I was kissing a boy one night who got so drunk he spewed on me... DAVE- Maybe that was his trick... vomit on her so she has to take her clothes off DAVE- (said something bad about dogs, and realised he wouldve offended them..) If you're a dog, and you're out there.... what are you doing watching tv? DAVE- Ohh I've had scabies its not good. I lived in a house with some guys and we actually got evicted from the house and so I took all the sheets home to my parents- I gave my parents scabies.. ~LANO AND WOODLEY~ Frank- � Well why do they call him �Scott of the Antarctic�? I mean I have a friend Russell who went to Thailand once but I don�t call him �Russell of Thailand� Nurse- (talking about a woman who's just given birth) �She�s still a bit groggy, that�s what happens with a caesarean.� Frank- �Caesarean! WHAT PART OF CAESAREA ARE YOU FROM?!?� Col- �Quick Frank me must run with the speed of a thousand gazelles!� Frank- Come on Col you�re making a mountain out of a .... very big hill Frank-Granddad's dead! Col-Frank didn�t you�re granddad die 5 years ago? You went down to the shops and I got the message saying that he died and when you got back I told........you�re granddad�s dead Frank! Col- Hi we�re looking for a scary video Video Man- What about Silence Of The Lambs? Col- Nah we�re not really into nature films. |
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