| gilmore girls..... |
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| LORELAI: Oh, what do you need? Hot tea, coffee -- RORY: Lip gloss. LORELAI: Aha. I have vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and toasted marshmallow. RORY: Anything in there not resembling a breakfast cereal? RORY: Did you do something slutty? LORELAI: I'm not that happy. MICHEL: People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them. RORY: So do you like cake? DEAN: What? RORY: They make really good cakes here. They're very...round. DEAN: OK I'll remember that. RORY: Good. Make a note. You wouldn't want to forget where the round cakes are. RORY: So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz? RICHARD: Oh, people die, we pay. People crash, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay. LORELAI: Well at least you have your new slogan LORELAI: Does he have a motorcycle? 'Cause if you're gonna throw your life away he'd better have a motorcycle! MISS PATTY : Ladies, what do I see. Naked girls?? No, no, keep those leotards on. This is not Brazil. MISS PATTY: (talking to little girls) Walk smooth. That's the new Harry Potter on your heads. If they should drop, Harry will die, and there won't be anymore books. LORELAI : Well, we like our internet slow, okay? We can turn it on, walk around, dance, make a sandwich. With DSL, there's no dancing, no walking, and we'd starve. EMILY: I mean, to have a place to go where she can socialize, that's very important to a young girl. LORELAI: Well, now especially that the crack den is closed down on the corner all her really good friends are gone. MICHEL: Can I kill her? LORELAI: Not before high tea. MICHEL: Fine, then I will curse you constantly and in several languages. LUKE: Violent pencil tossing usually signals the need for pie. RORY: What if I�d thrown a pen? LUKE: I would�ve brought you a trout. PARIS: [whispers to Louise] Loser. RORY: [turning around to her] And just what is wrong with you huh?! You already have everything! You already have the grades and the status. What the hell is wrong with you that you have this constant need to be the biggest jerk in the entire world?! MAX: Ok, let�s go. RORY: Huh?! What�s ?! What�s up quippy?! Why so silent? MAX: Outside - now [walks by Tristan who�s smiling] RORY: And for the last time - the name�s RORY! MR. MEDINA: You like coffee? LORELAI: Only with my oxygen. LORELAI: So where'd you say Dad was? EMILY: Away on business. LORELAI: Location's top secret? EMILY: Oh, Germany. LORELAI: Germany. Is Dad's firm insuring Nazis now? EMILY: Your father doesn't know any Nazis. LORELAI: I know, Mom. I was just -- EMILY: What? RORY: Joking. She was joking. EMILY: (later) Oh wait -- Rudolph Gottfried. LORELAI: Another cousin? EMILY: No, a Nazi that we knew. I'd forgotten. We stayed with him once in Munich. Nice old man. Interesting stories. LORELAI: Mom you socialized with a Nazi? That's despicable! That's heinous! EMILY: No, dear, that was a joke. RORY: heh heh heh LORELAI: Where does your mother think you are? LANE: Oh, on a park bench contemplating the reunification of the two Koreas. LORELAI: Not here, skanking to Rancid? LANE: Wouldn't be included. MOREY: Bad clams. BABETTE: This doesn't reflect well on Al's establishment. LANE: You had clams at Al's? RORY: Al's Pancake World? BABETTE: Yeah, well we had a coupon. LANE: They said that they rolled her body into a lamp. (Rory nods her head 'yes') LANE: Did you laugh? (Rory shakes her head 'no') LANE: Did you want to? (Rory nods her head 'yes.') MICHEL: Oh, really? Who died? LORELAI: Their cat. MICHEL: You are mourning a cat? LORELAI: Yes. MICHEL: They lick their privates, these cats. EMILY: A funeral? Whose? LORELAI: It was for the neighbors' cat. (silence) Mom? EMILY: Hold on. I'm looking up anyuresm in our medical dictionary to see if I just had one. LORELAI: It's late. I have a big day tomorrow, Mom. EMILY: Oh, what? You're going to a racoon's wedding? RORY: I now officially know what it feels like to have grown up here. LORELAI: It's not official until you're huddled in the corner eating your hair. LANE: He kissed you in the market? RORY: On aisle three. LANE: By the pest spray? RORY: Yes. LANE: Oh, that's a good aisle. RORY: What defines a good aisle? LANE: An aisle where you get kissed by the new kid is a good aisle. LUKE: Twelve guys stood in a row all night waiting for an enemy that never showed. They got stood up. They should've been wearing prom dresses. EMILY: A bad storm is heading your way. It's already hitting us here. LORELAI: Well, don't panic. I'll get the ark. You get the animals. EMILY: Lorelai, what are you doing? LORELAI: Getting rid of the avacado. EMILY: Since when do you not like avacado? LORELAI: Since the day I said, "Gross. What is this?" and you said, "Avacado." EMILY: (Later as Lorelai is picking at her food again) What's wrong with the tomato? LORELAI: It was fraternizing with the enemy. DEAN: I'm not fighting you. It'd be like fighting an accountant. I'll call you when I need my taxes done. LANE: You have to look at what a gift says to the other person, not to you. Remember two years ago, I got my mom that perfume? RORY: Yeah. LANE: Ok, to me that said, �Hey mom, you work hard, you deserve something fancy�. Now to my mother, it said �Hey mom, here�s some smelly sex juice, the kind I use to lure boys with� and resulted in me being sent to Bible camp all summer. LORELAI: It was a mistake. EMILY: A mistake? A mistake? Is that what you call it a mistake? LORELAI: Well I tried to call it 'Al' but it would only answer to 'mistake'. LOUISE: I can�t imaging having a baby at 16. PARIS: Well then keep your knees shut. LANE: I have discovered that in addition to my lameness in geometry I also will not become a biologist, French translator, or Civil War buff. RORY: Well I guess that just leaves bass player for the Foo Fighters. LANE: I also wouldn't rule out keyboardist in the Siouxsie and the Banshees reunion tour. LORELAI: I still can't get over that I'm related to God. It's going to make getting Madonna tickets so much easier. LORELAI: (Answering the phone) Hello? EMILY: I need the hatrack. LORELAI: The fish flies at night. DEAN: Thanks. Uh, your house is great. It's huge. I've never seen a house this huge before. EMILY: Well thank you. So few people bother to notice the hugeness of the house anymore LORELAI: Uh, well, I'll have a white wine and Dean'll have a beer. DEAN: What?! LORELAI: Corona right? DEAN: No, I don't want a beer! I don't drink beer. I'll have water or soda or anything. Or nothing. Not beer. Never beer. Beer is. . beer's bad. EMILY: Relax Dean, that's just Lorelai's little sense of humor. You're very cruel. LORELAI: Well, yes, keeps me young. DEAN: I'm just gonna sit here and stare at my hands. EMILY: Soda Dean? DEAN: Please. EMILY: Rory? RORY: Oh, I'll have a beer. [Emily and Lorelai laugh] I'm sorry Dean, we're not laughing at you. LORELAI: There's nothing on the radio but Top 40 and Christian Rock. Christian Rock, there's an oxymoron for you RORY: Okay, our house is burning down, and you can save the cake or me. What do you choose? LORELAI: Well that's not fair. The cake doesn't have legs. L: Luke, we sleep around here. Okay, we like it. It makes us pretty and keeps us from killing our crazy friends. LUKE: It was. Is. I'm just. . I've just been living alone since forever. And I just got use to putting the milk someplace in the fridge and finding it in the exact same spot. You know what I mean? L: Oh, we don't even keep milk in the house. LUKE: Well, then cookies. L: Cookies almost never make it out of the car. TAYLOR: Lorelai, I hope that's not food in those bags. Food is not allowed at town meetings. L: No, Taylor its not. Its, um, diapers for the little ones. TAYLOR: What? L: Dorsal fins and cucamonga. TAYLOR: What did she say L (whispers to Max): I confuse him till he loses his train of thought and then he moves on. Hot dog? LUKE: Oh sorry. I forgot my toolbox so I just thought I'd come pick it up. L: Oh yeah. It's right over here. Rory and I couldn't lift it or we would've brought it to you and then we got used to having it here, so we named it Bert and we'd say Goodnight Bert and it'd say Goodnight girls and we spend too much time home alone. L: (later) Bye bye Bert. LORELAI: Thanks. So I hope you didn't get too far on that cake. SOOKIE: [looking at almost-completed 5-tier cake] No, no, no. That's one thing you can be thankful about. You caught me in plenty of time. LORELAI: Good. I know the kind of work you were gonna put into it, and I just would've killed myself if you'd gone to all that craziness for nothing. SOOKIE: (hangs up and looks at the cake) You were a good cake Clive. I never should've named you. JESS: You're either really na�ve, or you're getting some. LORELAI: Ugh. There have been very few moments in my life where I have actually wished I had one of those enormous cream pies you can just smash in someone's face, but this is definitely one of them. (LATER- Luke and Lorelai are arguing) LUKE: You know, you ever think maybe you just got lucky with Rory? I mean, you did get pregnant at sixteen. That doesn't show the greatest decision making skills, now does it? LORELAI: Wow.... two pies. |
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