HOMOPHOBIA... LESBOPHOBA
The "hatred of homosexuals" is an accepted prejudice in Western society. Governments condone it by passing laws which do not exactly encourage discrimination but do not condemn it. Individuals practice it in every area of life and figures in authority enforce it. It could be in the form of a joke about "poofs" or a belief that all homosexuals are "intrinsically disordered". It could be discrimination by businesses, psychiatric associations, the military or religious groups. It could be the erasure of homosexuals in history. It could be being queerbashed or having custody of children denied. It transcends age, religion, race, class, ability and gender.
"Homophobia" literally translates as "fear of the same". An alternative could be "heterosexism" which is defined as "the belief that heterosexuality is or should be the only acceptable sexual orientation, and the fear and hatred of those who love and sexually desire those of the same sex."1 However inaccurate it may be, the term "homophobia" is widely used and accepted by lesbians, gay men and heterosexuals.
"Homophobia" is said to operate on four levels. The "personal" level refers to a prejudice that lesbians and gay men should be pitied because they are poor misfortunates who are subject to uncontrollable desires, or hated as they are simply psychologically disturbed and therefore inferior to heterosexuals. "Interpersonal" homophobia happens when a personal belief has an affect on the relationship between individuals and is transformed into discrimination, for example, telling jokes with an anti-gay theme. Some are truly offensive: "Do you know what the miracle of AIDS is? It turns fruits into vegetables."2 Others could be considered to be quite humourous, but still play on stereotypical images: "Did you hear about the gay Pope? He couldn't decide whether he was divine or just gorgeous."3
A far more serious side to the "interpersonal" comes with the rejection by family and friends or the withdrawal of support or services (lawyers, landlords, insurance companies, employers) or assaults and violent attacks and so on. "Institutional" homophobia is the way in which companies discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation. Although there are few laws that specifically enforce such discrimination, few businesses have policies that actually support lesbians and gay men and there is no law on the British statute books that bans companies from systematically firing lesbians and gay men when their sexuality is revealed.
"Cultural" homophobia that exists relates to society's assumption of what is "normal" and again, although this may not be carved in stone, it can result in the exclusion of positive images of lesbians and gay men in the media or in history. It can mean that we are represented in largely negative or stereotypical terms. Lesbians and gay men then grow up without any significant role models, either in the historical or contemporary sense.
"Homophobia" is a term that should equally be applied as a description for "hatred of lesbians" but I would like to try and draw certain distinctions between the misanthropy directed at gay men and that directed at lesbians. For the sake of argument I will call this phenomena "lesbophobia" which might be translated as a fear or hatred of lesbians. I think it would be far more useful to describe it as an intolerance or misunderstanding of lesbianism.
But where did this start? Most would probably place the blame at the tiny feet of Queen Victoria. It has been repeatedly claimed that the elderly monarch passed comment that two women could not possibly have a sexual relationship: this has passed into lesbian legend, despite the fact that it has never actually been confirmed.
"A lot of people in England still find it difficult to believe lesbians do anything. Except perhaps knit together."4
Queen Victoria's fabled comment has cultivated a bewildering range of consequences for lesbians and has resulted in the mass denial of our culture. We are supposed to fit rigidly into a prescribed lifestyle based on our gender, a life of marriage and child-rearing. In childhood, close friendships with members of the same sex are not necessarily frowned upon, but once you reach a certain age (usually around the onset of puberty), peers and elders begin to react differently if close relationships with women are still being formed and maintained. You are expected to leave that all behind and start to develop an attraction to the opposite sex. There is a major problem with making that break:
"Heterosexuality separates women from each other: it makes women define themselves through men; it forces women to compete against each other for men and the privilege which comes through men and their social standing... the lesbian receives none of these heterosexual privileges or compensations."5
If a young woman thinks she might be a lesbian, and decides to come out to friends or even to her family, she may be subject to their "homophobic conditioning" which "compromises the integrity of heterosexual people by pressuring them to treat others badly."6 This could be in the form of disbelieve or derision, or it could be complete ostracisation. This has a knock-on effect in that it can restrict one's freedom to form close or intimate relationships with members of the same sex, and further, restricts communication with the lesbian and gay community. As confused, pre-pubescent children, many have no contact with the lesbian world and cannot even begin to think how to establish such a relationship. This can be exacerbated by the fact that they had no "proof" of their identity because of a lack of information or role models.
One other consequence is that family relationships can be irrevocably harmed. Friends and family have little or no understanding of what young lesbians are going through: no doubt you have read or heard of hundreds of young lesbians who fear a totally negative reaction from their parents, and were forced to live "in the closet". Parents rarely want to know about their child's sexual orientation (particularly if it is different from the "norm") and end up in a closet of their own homophobic conditioning, one that allows them to deny their child1s "deviant" nature and conceal the truth from others.
Misinformation about lesbian sexuality plays a major part in lesbophobic reaction. Some examples:
"Who says homosexuals and lesbians, flaunting their perverted sexuality, aren't a potential danger to our children? Some homosexuals are known to go into jealous rages. The potential danger to our children exists."7
"... the less devout the girl is the more likely she is to venture into homosexuality."8
"It is a Socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."9
"Crime is intimately associated with female sexual inversion. Many crimes committed by women, upon investigation, reveal that the women were either confirmed lesbians who killed because of jealousy or were latent homosexuals with a strong aggressive masculine drive."10
"The Creator has endowed the bodies of women with the noble misson of motherhood and the bringing of human life into the world. Any women who violates this great trust by participating in homosexuality not only degrades herself socially but also destroys the purpose for which God created her."11
Ad nauseum. You could dismiss these as the wacky rantings of right-wingers from a distant past, but they have a relevance in the 1990's. While it may seem stupid to even think that lesbians are a danger to children, British law decrees that lesbians (within the category of "single women") are not allowed to have infertility treatment and are routinely excluded from caring for children. Catholic and Christian theologies still dictate that lesbianism (and homosexuality) is totally immoral and should be punished; some Muslim countries still maintain laws that allow lesbians and gay men to be stoned to death for their sexuality. Lesbianism is an attractive byline to any tabloid journalist who writes about female criminals, and the age-old argument about women being kept "barefoot and pregnant" still pervades our society.
It is undeniable that women suffer in a society where heterosexuality is seen as compulsory, but lesbians have to deal with widespread sexism as well as that fear of the unknown. Even those straight women who claim "political lesbianism" or identify as bisexual cannot really know the perils involved in a lesbian identity: these women can still retreat and claim heterosexual privilege. I believe "lesbophobia" is just as prevelant in the gay male community as it is in heterosexual society. It could be said that the duality of sexism and ignorance causes this.
"Where sexism and homophobia meet, you get a viciousness the likes of which you have never seen."12
Of course, the problem with blaming a dual partnership is that (as in black communities where racism is only usually acknowledged as coming from white people) gay men cannot possibly be homophobic. There is a general feeling that we are all in this together, and that our experiences are the same. This is not true. We can only claim that our lifestyles and identities are parallel, and only then because our lives ordinarily revolve around members of the same sex. Beyond that, gay men seem to have very little understanding.
The male of the species (whether gay or not) has a hard time accepting that our society has been founded on the oppression of women. We could just call it misogyny but the gay male community constantly denies it. The "common purpose" of fighting homophobia or heterosexism seems to negate any need for worrying about how lesbians are differently affected. The upshot of this is that the experience of lesbians is - at least - marginalised and - at most - denied.
"It's how to be involved in a movement that makes you invisible and ignores you. We want to be in the queer movement but it's still on the level of having to ask men to include us."13
It should, theoretically, be almost impossible to prove that gay men (individually or collectively) have a "fear of lesbians" but a certain level of ignorance does exist. Take the Age of Consent debate. When the vote was taken in February 1994, thousands of lesbians and gay men stood in the freezing cold outside the House of Commons. When Radio 4 covered the event, they called on one of the high profile members of Stonewall, Sir Ian McKellen, for a response. He mentioned the "6,000 gay men who attended the vigil" and immediately ignored the hundreds of dykes who stood alongside gay men. When this was pointed out, he quickly and contritely acknowledged that "throughout the age of consent campaign, the contribution of lesbians has been important and significant."14 Of course, the omission was just one man's "mistake" and should not be taken as symbolic of the reaction of the entire gay male community. Gay men are careful to avoid being obvious about their dislike of lesbians or their idiocy concerning lesbian issues. If they do give vent to their feelings, it is excused on the basis that it is only "individual opinion". If any lesbian dare challenges this form of male aggressiveness, demands equal rights or asks for women-only space, they are denounced as man-hating, radical feminists or euphemised as "bitter and twisted".
It has been argued that gay men especially should have a better understanding of oppression. I do not believe this is the case, as men have never been oppressed. You can talk about how patriarchy affects your life until you are blue in the face, but it will mean little to them. Decades, even centuries, of chipping away at this wall of ignorance has made no difference to the age-old battle of the sexes, but lesbians should be no more afraid to challenge gay men than they are to point out homophobia or misogyny in the straight community. And likewise:
"Gay men can learn from dykes what it's like to be a woman - the reality, not the fantasy. They can listen and learn that being a man means they are automatically given many privileges which are not open to women. They should learn how lesbophobic they are. It's not just as simple as being misogynistic, which a lot of them are, but their active fear, dislike and loathing of lesbians."15
While gay men - simply as men - continue to regard women as inferior, sexless and weaker, whether it be emotionally, physically or financially, there will be no end to the battle of the sexes that saturates and divides the lesbian and gay community. Lesbians need to tell gay men what our concerns are, to educate them and make sure that they, in turn, pass that information on to other gay men. Until that time, lesbophobia will remain just as rife in our own community as homophobia is outside it. This is sometimes glaringly apparent...
The glory for additional services for HIV and AIDS has been laid solely at the feet of gay men because they are credited with safer sex initiatives. Pressure is being exerted by gay rights groups over the right to marry with demands that the laws around cottaging be changed. A gauntlet has been thrown down for an equal age of consent with heterosexuals. Gay men do not campaign around breast cancer, and seem to believe that all lesbians are interested in is reproduction rights. Calls for bigger, stronger condoms are, it appears, more important than prevention or diagnosis of HIV among lesbians. Domestic violence is still an incredible taboo for lesbians (and gay men) yet few groups have made any effort to campaign for single-sex refuges. While gay men are forging links with the police around the country, they have seemingly forgotten that lesbians get bashed, mugged, burgled and killed as well. There are groups for gay male prisoners, but hardly any support for lesbians. Women are hounded out of the Armed Forces with little publicity while gay soldiers have BBC2 knocking on their door. Gay prostitutes are given camcorders to allow them demistify their profession while lesbian call-girls are still raped, beaten and pilloried. The London Lesbian and Gay Centre mysteriously closed its doors on many groups, clubs and support services, yet no-one raised an eyebrow. While gay pubs fight for longer hours and more space while whining about women using their facilities, lesbians are still restricted by nomadic weekly or monthly clubs. Lesbians who embezzle money from gay organisations are hung out to dry while gay men who steal hard-earned funds are quietly hushed up. Gay-owned companies still do not employ a quota of lesbian staff and the pink press routinely slates lesbians on a collective and individual basis. Anthologies of "queer" writing omit the lesbian perspective, believing that lesbians are capable of funding their own publishing. Gay men are openly courted by straight advertising but alternative lesbian families are ignored...
1 Introduction, "Homophobia: How We All Pay The Price" ed. Warren J. Blumenfeld, publ. Beacon 1992
"Outrageously Offensive Jokes" by Maude Thickett, publ. Arrow 1984
3 Ibid
4 Maggie Smith, quoted in "The Advocate" October 1990
5 Charlotte Brunch, in "Feminist Frameworks", ed. A.M. Jaggar P. Rothenberg 1978.
6 See note 1
7 Anita Bryant, "At Any Cost" 1978
8 Samuel King, "Sexual Behaviour and the Law" 1965
9 Pat Robertson, American TV Evangelicalist, criticising equal rights amendments, 1992
10 Frank S. Caprio, "Female Homosexuality" 1954
11 From the Indoctrination Lectures on Homosexuality to Navy Recruits, 1952
12 Sandra Lowe, Yale University 1989
13 Della Grace, quoted in "Lesbians Talk Queer Notions" by Cherry Smyth, publ. Scarlet Press, 1992
14 Pink Paper, 11th March 1994
15 Inge Blackman, see note 13
© Megan Radclyffe 1995