If a Picture's Worth a Thousand Words...

[ FOLLOW THE ORIGINAL THREAD HERE ]

From the journal of a disgruntled pending member of the 1,000+ Posts Club:

28 MAY 2004

1130 hours: Realised that I had five posts to go before I hit the big 1,000. Frantically spammed right, left and centre to reach 999 posts.

1135 hours: Almost got carried away by new topics and nearly posted 1,000th message by accident; held back. Briefly toyed with the idea of deleting old posts so that post count would remain in the 900s. Discarded idea on the grounds only a person with the intelligence of mayonnaise would even consider this.

1140 hours: Realised I had absolutely no idea what to post for my 1,000th without having it qualify as spam.

1200 hours: Still had absolutely no inspiration. Stomach became insistent on the food issue. Decided to make like a Wookiee and think with my stomach. Went to forage for food.

1400 hours: Decided to write a commentary that would have a grand total of 1,000 words. Almost immediately discarded idea on the grounds that I was lazy and wanted to play Prisoner of War.

1730 hours: Was re-inspired to write 1,000-word commentary. Was distracted again because Text Twist was too much fun.

1800 hours: Halfway through conversation with Jeremy, was suddenly cut off by stupid hostel server. Plan to post brilliantly witty 1,000-word commentary tragically backfired.

2200 hours: Bloody server still down. Inmates on the 7th floor of the building puzzled by high-pitched screams coming from the general direction of room #5. Gave up the ghost and went to bed.

29 MAY 2004

1000 hours: Server still down. Seriously contemplated nuking tech department; decided against it as my bedroom is directly upstairs.

1020 hours: Resigned myself with puttering around with Cakewalk Pro Audio 8.0. Decided to console myself by arranging 'Congratulations' for brass quintet, for achieving 999 posts.

1310 hours: Bloody server finally decided it had raised my blood pressure high enough for blood to explode out of my ears, and started functioning again. By then was fed up with idea of posting 1,000-word article.

1430 hours: Still at a loss at what to post (never mind that celebrating one's 1,000th post is pretty much pointless). Jeremy suggests that I start a thread for people whose voice and faces do not go together. Briefly considered doing new voice recording for HF; decided people have been tormented enough by my ghastly voice.

1500: Decided to just post 'Congratulations' at HF to commemorate my thousandth post. HERE IT IS.

1540 hours: Posted pointless message gloating about having achieved 1,000 posts. Am waiting for people to storm in, frothing at the mouth, with torches and fagots to burn me at the stake while screaming [NO SPAM!]. Hey, at least I didn't post a thousand smileys.