Justin took a deep breath as he exited the elevator which had brought him down from his floor to Sheryl and Sadie's. More nervous than he had thought he would be, he made his way down the hallway to their door. He was still thinking over what he had done earlier that afternoon.

He didn't know what had possessed him to hold her like that and kiss her like that. Sure, they had kissed the night before, and had grown closer, but he didn't realize he still had the courage to make a move like what he had done that after noon. He had thought that person long dead. And although it had felt good to see a glimpse of his former self, it was unusual to him now.

Justin had reached the designated door by now and just stood in front of it, flowers in hand, straightening his black long-sleeved silk shirt, which was tucked into dark tanned slacks. On his feet were black dress shoes. His hair he had styled with gel to perfection. He had shaved and showered and checked his appearance several times before leaving the apartment above hers. He was glad Chris and the guys had gone out to dinner. He didn't want the questioning looks from his best friend and roommate. He didn't want to have to answer questions he didn't have the answers to.

In the past, he would have asked all four of his friends how he looked, numerous times, before he walked out of, what at that time would have been a hotel room no doubt. But tonight was, just different. Before, it would have just been a date, nothing special. Just a night of fun with a girl, normally a fan, who would agree with Justin if he said that the sky was falling. But tonight, tonight was different. The girl was different. The girl was Sadie. That was all she was, just Sadie. She wasn't a crazed fan. She wasn't a publicity stunt. She was just her, a plain and normal girl, who was anything but plain and normal.

He had been standing in front of her door for about five minutes before he had realized he hadn't even knocked. Calling himself every form of idiot that he knew, he knocked on the apartment door and waited for it to open while he listened to movement inside.

A minute later the door to the apartment opened, showing Sheryl in the doorway. "Hey Justin. Don't worry, I'm leavin'. I'm supposed to meet everyone else at the movies. Y'all have fun now." Sheryl said, giving her sister and Justin a small hug before she walked out the door.

When she was on her way down the hallway, Justin stepped into the apartment. From where he was he could see the small dinning room and on the other side of the sliding glass door to the balcony, he could see the small patio table set with two places and a candle in the middle.

"Hi Justin. Don't ever let it be said that I lost a bet and didn't do it graciously." Sadie said, motioning for him to step into the living room so she could shut the door.

"Well, I didn't expect you to go through all of this trouble. As far as I was concerned, ordered in Chinese would have worked." Justin said with a laugh as he followed Sadie and the scent of the food into the kitchen. "These are for you." Justin said, holding out the flowers that he had been holding in his hand.

Sadie turned and smiled at the bouquet of wildflowers that Justin offered her. "Their beautiful, JT. Thank you." Sadie said, standing up on tiptoe to place a soft and brief kiss on his lips. She then moved to the cupboard across the kitchen to get a vase to place the flowers in.

Justin watched her as she moved about the kitchen, finishing dinner and doing other tasks. She moved with a grace unintentional and a purposeful stride that was intriguing to Justin. Her ankle length black skirt moved freely over her figure as moved about, and her red blouse was the perfect compliment to her dazzling blue eyes and her mouse brown, pixie cut hair, which, styled in a disorganized fashioned, looked completely meticulously done.

Justin caught himself staring when he realized that Sadie had been speaking to him and he hadn't heard a word she had been saying. "I'm sorry," he started, shaking his head clear. "I spaced out. What were you saying?"

"I just asked you if you liked Fettuccini Alfredo. I am making that and Sheryl bought some wine. I thought we could drink a little of that. There's a salad too. I hope this is all right with you." Sadie said, turning to look at him while continuing to stir the pasta.

"Sounds wonderful. The smell alone is making me hungry." Justin said, smiling and leaning over the pot to sniff the fragrant white sauce.

"Good. Now, why don't you go on and take the salad out. I thought it would be nice to eat out on the balcony. I love the lights of the city and it's so warm outside." Sadie said, handing him a wooden bowl filled with salad.

Ten minutes later the dinner was done and they were both seated outside on the balcony, steaming plates of pasta in front of them, stem glasses filled with a reddish wine and the sounds of the city surrounding them. The candle was lit and the two sat, silent eating their meal, not sure of what to say to each other.

"You know you really didn't have to go through all this trouble." Justin said at last, breaking the silence.

"I know." Sadie said, laughing lightly as she looked up at him. "I figured, if I was going to do it, I might as well do it right."

"Well, it's nice. I like it."

They spent the rest of dinner in idle conversation ranging from the weather to family. After they had finished their dinner and the wine had dulled their nerves, they began to be more comfortable around each other. They had eaten dinners together before in fast food restaurants and they had shared meals in their apartments, but there was always someone else there. This was a more personal setting, which is how Sadie had planned it, although at the beginning of the dinner, she had lost her nerve a little. Now she was regaining her courage.

"How about some music?" She suggested, getting up to turn on the stereo she always had outside. She flipped the switch and a sweet slow melody glided softly from the speakers. She straightened up to walk back to the table, and turned around to find herself in Justin's arms.

"Why did you plan this dinner?" He asked, searching her eyes, knowing the answer he was hoping, but unsure if that was the answer that she would give.

Sadie looked down for a moment at where he had intertwined their hands, then looking back into his eyes, took a deep breath. "Because I thought about what you said last night on the roof. I want that Justin. I want to dream again." Sadie confessed her voice only slightly shaken.

"Tell me. Tell me your dreams." Justin encouraged. He pulled her to him, wrapping her in his arms, resting his head against hers that rested against his shoulder.

"That you and I could make it work through our problems. That we could be strong enough to try. That I won't be alone. That, even if I have no one else, I'll at least have you." Sadie said, not taking her head off of his shoulder.

"You'll always have me, Sade. And you've always got your sis and your family. And you know the guys love you to pieces. We're all always going to be here for you. You're not going to be alone." Justin reassured her, stroking her hair as he talked to her.

"I slept when I got back from Dr. Townsend. I had a nightmare. I remember what it was this time." She told him; not sure she wanted to voice her darkest fear. She knew that she should tell him, but she was afraid that telling him would sway his position. She also knew that not telling him would hurt her more than she could stand.

"You can tell me, Sheena. I'm going to be here for you. I'm always going to be here for you. I can't promise that things will work out in a way that I would like them to, but I can promise that no matter what, I will always be here for you." Justin told her, leaning back and looking her in the eye. "Just tell me what your nightmare is."

Sadie took a deep breath and took comfort in the honesty and maturity beyond his years that she found in the deep blue depths of Justin's eyes. "I dream about being alone. My nightmares are the people I love the most. In my head, when I sleep, I disappoint everyone in some way, and they leave me. I don't want to disappoint you Justin. I don't want you to leave me. I'm in a black void, alone, and it's like my Life has been sucked out, and everyone I care about is disappointed and leaves. I know it isn't the same nightmare as before, in high school. I don't know how I know that, but I do. But it is what has been plaguing me recently."

Justin took this in, and instead of giving her reassurances of his faithfulness, of any type, he wanted to know. He wanted to know everything. "Why are you scared of disappointing everyone? What do you think they would be disappointed in?" Justin asked her, still holding her gaze.

"I'm afraid of people finding out what I told you yesterday. I'm afraid if they knew, they would be disappointed in me and leave. And I'm afraid that if my parents and my family found out that the secret was out, then they would be disappointed, and I would lose everything. I have worked so hard to be and act normal since then, and now, it seems that it is all slipping away, and I don't want it to. I want to be normal. To love and be loved. I want," Sadie's voice dropped off here, unsure of how to say what she wanted. Unsure of how to make him understand.

"What do you want. You can tell me." Justin encouraged, squeezing her slightly in his arms, which were still securely around her, a point that had not gone unnoticed by her.

"I want a life, Justin. I want my life back. They way it used to be. I mean, I know I can't have it the way it was completely, but I want to be the person I used to be. I don't want to hide anymore."

"I think you are doing a fine job now. I couldn't be more proud of you, no matter what you did. And the guys, I know they aren't going to leave you because of your past. They won't be disappointed. You can tell them, if you feel that is what you have to do. With everything they have put up with from me since we started touring, I know they will understand. You didn't do anything wrong. You did what you thought was best for you. You were trying to protect yourself. Knowing what you were going through with your nightmares before, anyone would understand. They aren't going to desert you because of it, Baby." Justin told her, bringing her close to him again, holding her tightly against his body.

"What did you call me?" Sadie asked, her voice slightly muffled in his chest. She slowly leaned back to look once more into his face.

"I called you baby." Justin assured her, smiling down at her upturned face. He brought his face closer to hers, till they were only inches apart, their breath mingling. "Because, you're my baby." With this, he brought his lips down to hers, in a soft and delicate, yet passions filled kiss that made both their knees weak and their brains foggy.

"Ok so I guess we should have stayed out a little longer." Sheryl's voice came from the doorway.

Sadie and Justin slowly broke apart, hearing the giggles and laughs from Sheryl, Lance, JC, Joey and Chris. Still, they didn't look away from each other, but smiled as they looked into each other's eyes.

"Actually," Sadie began, making her decision, and never looking away from Justin. "I think you guys are right on time."

An hour and a few gallons of tears later, the entire group knew of Sadie's past. The reaction was what Sadie knew she should have expected, but different from what he mind had told her to be prepared for. There was disbelief, understanding, supportive words, and last, and most importantly to Sadie, acceptance. She hadn't been shunned for her mistakes in the past. She wasn't cast out for her poor judgment or problems. She was welcomed, accepted, and loved, for who she was, not what she had done.

Beside her the entire time, Justin and Sheryl had been supportive, encouraging, and absolutely demanding when necessary. Had it not been for those moments of demanding, Sadie was sure she would have backed out, not said what she knew she needed to, and continued to live the nightmare that had, unknowingly become her life.

That night, lying in her bed, Sadie was thoroughly terrified. She was afraid of her nightmares. She knew what they were now, and she knew she had done what Dr. Townsend would have suggested she do, but she couldn't help being afraid that the nightmares would come again that night, as they did anytime she slept. But there was no help for it. The day had been an exhausting one, and within minutes of lying down, Sadie was in a deep dreaming sleep. The kind of dreams that fairy tales are made of.

Chapter 11

Chapter 13