Sadie sat there in the car, nearly paralyzed with her fear. She hadn't slept at all the night before. After watching the videos with her sister and her new, although still famous, friends, she had tossed and turned all night, fretting over what this new doctor would say to her. Worrying about the looks that the rest of the members of Justin's group would look at her, if only they learned her secret. The secret she had told Justin. She knew she should expect the same treatment that she had received from Justin, sympathy, understanding, forgiveness, but she couldn't push down the bit of fear that they, as a group, would reject her. She couldn't shake the feeling that, if they knew, she would be unwelcome in their lives and cast out like a plague victim, so that they wouldn't have to deal with anymore problems than they already had. She had expected the same from Justin.

With his own problems, she didn't see how he would want to worry with hers, especially when he learned what she had done, what she had become, and risked becoming again, if she weren't strong enough. But he hadn't. He hadn't shunned her, or cast her out. He wasn't disgusted with her, and he didn't hate her. That was a small victory for her. To know that others, besides her family, wouldn't hold her mistakes against her. But none the less, she worried about the reactions of the others if they learned about her past. The dark hell that she had endured at the mercy of the drugs that she looked to for help.

These were not the only things that she had worried over all through the night. She had remembered her time in the Sanitarium, or nut house, as she not so affectionately called it. She worried that she would be sent there again. She worried that she would go through the same dimensions of the worst kind of hell she could imagine. And now she sat there, in the car, outside the doctor's building, dreading the trip through the sparkling glass doors that would, supposedly, bring her closer to normalcy, if there were such a thing.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Sadie climbed out of the car and walked towards the door of the massive building. As she pushed the doors open, she was hit with a blast of cool air, marking any office building. It was refreshing after the journey from the car to the door, if only a few yards, in the scorching Florida heat. She took a moment to survey the large lobby, her eyes finding a steadying and relaxing site in front of her.

Justin stood, leaning against the wall, by the elevators. He had said he would meet her there for her appointment, to lend moral support and see that she went through with it, but she hadn't actually expected him to come all the way from the studio to be there.

Spotting her, Justin flashed her a brilliant smile and walked toward her. When he reached her, he enveloped her in a supportive and caring hug. "I was afraid you weren't goin to show." Justin said with a small laugh as he pulled away from her and took her hand.

"Sheryl was home, I had no choice. And I really didn't want to drive around the city for a few hours to pretend I came." Sadie joked with him as he led her to the elevator. "You really didn't have to come here Justin. You see enough of this place."

"I wanted to be here. I know how hard it is to go the first time. I wanted to be here for you." He told her, pushing the button for the elevator, still clasping her hand.

"You forget, I have done this before. I am an old pro at this." Sadie laughed nervously as she stepped ahead of him into the elevator.

"Yes you have done this before, but it is just as hard the last time as it is the first. I thought it would be easier if I went in with you first, to kinda lend a familiarity to the whole thing." Justin told her, releasing her hand and wrapping his arm around her waist. Sadie had never needed that comforting touch more than she did now.

"Well, I'm glad you came." Sadie said, leaning against him as they rode the rest of the way to the doctor's floor in silence. The elevator dinged a minute or so later, announcing their arrival on their floor. Sadie took a deep breath as the doors opened and stepped out, followed by Justin.

The floor where Dr. Townsend's office was was very clean and sparsely decorated. The gray carpet made their foot falls silent. The air was, like in the lobby, cooler than most houses. The black desk of the receptionist was shiny and covered with neatly stacked folders and papers. Behind the desk sat a middle aged woman, with shoulder length blonde hair and a cheerful and welcoming smile.

"Hey Justin. And who is your new friend?" Asked the receptionist, standing to receive a hug from Justin, who had walked ahead of Sadie.

"Hey Joyce. This is my new friend and neighbor, Sheena Evans. She has an appointment with Dr. Townsend this morning." Justin explained to her, after giving her a very friendly hug, smiling the whole time. Sadie could tell by the way that they talked to each other and they way that they interacted, that the two had become friends since Justin started coming to see the doctor.

"Hi Sheena. I'm Joyce. Dr. Townsend is still in with another patient, but they should be finished in a few minutes. Why don't you and Justin have a seat? It shouldn't be long." Joyce said, shaking Sadie's hand and motioning for the two to sit in the black leather seats by the wall.

Justin and Sadie sat down, her hand in his. He glanced down at her other hand that was gripping her purse strap so tightly that her hand was white. He glanced up at her and found her staring straight ahead at the wall in front of her. "Sadie, are you ok?"

"I'm fine, JT." Sadie answered simply. She glanced at him and forced a smile. But he wasn't buying it.

"Sadie, Dr. Townsend is a good doctor. He'll listen to you. He won't force you and he won't confine you to a clinic. He can help you if you let him." Justin told her, squeezing her hand for reassurance.

Sadie was about to say something to Justin, when the door to the doctor's office opened and a tall, middle aged man, with graying hair and glasses stepped out ahead of a younger and shorter man.

"Just think about what we talked about, Thomas, and I am sure you will figure out what you should do." The older man told the younger, clapping him on the back.

"Thanks Dr. Townsend. I will see you next week." Thomas said to the doctor, waving to Justin, who waved back, as he made his way down the hall toward the elevator. The doctor then turned to Justin and Sadie.

"So this is your new friend, eh Justin. You could have told me she was so pretty. An old heart like mine needs warning." Dr. Townsend said, laughing as he shook hands with Justin, who was now standing beside Sadie. "You must be Sheena. I'm Dr. Townsend, although I am sure you have guessed that already. Why don't we all go into my office and chat for a bit." He suggested, motioning for the to go on in ahead of him. Dr. Townsend closed the door behind them and settled himself in the seat behind his desk as Justin and Sadie settled into the two chairs in front of the desk.

"Ok, so Sheena, I have read your file. But I would like to hear from you the events that have preceded this. Justin could step outside if you would feel more comfortable that way." Dr. Townsend told her.

"No, he can stay. I already told him most of it." Sadie said, shifting uncomfortably in her chair. "Well, in my senior year of high school, I started having nightmares. I don't know what they were about or why I had them. But they were horrible, and it got to the point that I was afraid to go to sleep. My parents took me to see a doctor when the exhaustion was too much for me. They went away for a little while, but then they came back a few weeks later. I didn't tell my parents. They were worried enough. So then I didn't want to sleep, and started to take caffeine pills to stay awake. Eventually, of course, they stopped working. So I started taking speed. I don't remember how or when I started, I just know that I did. I hid it pretty well for a long time from my family, but the found out eventually. They took me to yet another doctor, and he put me in a clinic to get me off the speed and to help with the nightmares. But they couldn't help the insomnia that they caused. I never understood that. But I got out of there and the insomnia persisted, coming and going. I haven't slept really good in almost three months now and the nightmares have started again. I don't know what to do anymore." Sadie finished, her eyes filled with tears at the memory of the months she had spent trying to become normal and how it had all fallen apart again.

"Well, I can't say that I agree with the doctors' assumption that it all started with a past even in your life. I think it is more stress than anything else." Dr. Townsend told her, leaning back in his chair.

"But I have done everything I can to make sure that my life is as stress free as possible. I don't know what stress could have caused them to start again. I mean, I am under a great deal of stress now, thanks to them." Sadie said, not understanding what the doctor was saying.

"Well, finding the source of the stress is what we are here to do. It's my guess, that you are scared of something, although you don't realize it and that is the origin of your nightmares. Once we figure that out, we can work on you insomnia, which can be easily cured with medications, if that is the route that you want to take." Dr. Townsend informed her.

Sadie sat there for a few minutes. She didn't know what to think of the whole thing. She couldn't figure out what would be stressful enough to cause such horrible nightmares, and she couldn't figure out if she were willing to take more medications to remedy the problem of her insomnia. But Dr. Townsend saved her for the moment from having to make any type of decision.

"Justin, could you wait outside? I think our sessions need to begin immediately. So I would like to talk to Sheena alone for a bit."

"You gonna be ok, Sadie?" Justin asked, before getting up to leave.

"I'll be fine, JT. You don't have to wait. You can go on home, and I will catch up with you later." Sadie informed him. He just shook his head.

"I'll be right outside when you're done." He told her, walking to the door and closing it quietly behind him after he had exited.

"Ok Sheena, I'm going to ask you a few questions. It won't take long. I want you to answer me as truthfully as you can. OK?"

Sadie settled back in her chair, prepared for the usual questions. She nodded to the doctor.

"Were you, at any time in your childhood, sexually abused?" He asked, looking straight at her.

"No." She answered, having been asked the question a hundred times.

"Were you in any way traumatized as a child?"

"Depends on your definition of traumatized, but no I would say I wasn't." She answered, again used to the question.

Dr. Townsend nodded and wrote something down in his notes. He lifted his head again and looked at her. "Tell me about your life, just before the nightmares started."

Sadie shifted to a more comfortable position in her chair, took a deep breath and began. "I was in high school. Was a grade ahead of what I should have been. It was my senior year. I studied, talked on the phone, went out with friends occasionally. I only had a few close friends, and they weren't in my grade, and in different activities, so we really didn't have the time to get together and hang out. So we mainly talked on the phone. I would have said I was a regular teenager, except I wasn't into the clothes and the fads and stuff. I mainly stuck to my music and writing. That was just me."

"Sounds like you were sure of yourself. I like that. Most people try so hard to fit in that they cause themselves depression or suicidal tendencies. That is why I can't stand fads and the "popular" people." Dr. Townsend said, shaking his head.

"I know exactly what you mean." Sadie agreed.

"Well, it seems you knew who you were and wasn't prepared to bend for anyone or anything. But I know how lonely that can be. I am sure of how I run my practice, but my peers think I am a quack. But I don't plan to change for anything in this world." Dr. Townsend told her, sitting back in his chair.

"Well, if things with Justin were as bad as he and they guys say they were, then I say you are doing a wonderful job. He has come a long way from the person they say he was when they stopped touring." Sadie said, smiling at the thought of Justin, waiting just outside in the lobby.

"Yes he has come a long way, but he still has a long way to go. Have you witnessed any of his recent attacks?" Dr. Townsend asked, curious as to how much Justin had actually told his new 'friend'.

"Actually, the first time we met, I think I cause him to have one." Sadie said laughing.

"Really? How is that?" He asked, leaning forward on his desk, thoroughly interested.

"Well, I'm sure you know about my sister and I going to TransCon a few weeks ago. I had passed out, from exhaustion, sugar OD and probably caffeine OD too. The guys came rushing in, and when I woke up and realized what had happened and who they were, I started to hyperventilate. So did Justin." Sadie told the doctor. They both laughed.

"I take it, from the way you two talk about each other, you have become close since you met." Dr. Townsend questioned.

"I guess we have. It's nice having a friend who can understand, to a great degree, what you're going through." Sadie said, finding it easier to talk to Dr. Townsend, than it had been to talk to the other doctors she had been to.

"Well, I think its wonderful. It's wonderful to have someone to talk to, who isn't going to offer advice, but instead, just listen. I think we have talked enough for one day. I know you have things to do. So why don't we meet next week? Same time?" Dr. Townsend asked, standing with Sadie, and walking to the door with her.

"I'll be here. And thanks, Dr. Townsend. I really appreciate all that you are an are going to do to help me." Sadie said, shaking his hand after he had opened the door. She could see Justin walking towards them.

"It's what I do and I love it. I am just glad I can help in some way." Dr. Townsend told her, giving her a small hug. Then he turned to Justin. "Tomorrow, 4 o'clock�.don't forget."

"I won't. I'll be here. See ya then." Justin said, shaking the doctor's hand and then walking with Sadie down the hall towards the elevators. "So, how did it go?"

"Pretty well, he asked a few questions, I answered. We talked. I like him. He's nice. Better than any of the other doctors I have seen." Sadie said, smiling up at Justin.

"Good." Justin said, before placing a light airy kiss across her lips. When he realized he had done this, he blushed.

Sadie laughed a little as the doors opened, and the two boarded the car. "So what do you have planned for the rest of the afternoon?"

"Well, I was supposed to go back to the studio, but the guys called while you were seeing the doc, and they decided to call it quits for today. So they are all heading home, and you owe me dinner tonight at seven, remember?" Justin reminded her, grinning at her

"Actually, I had forgotten about that. Well the dinner part of it anyway." Sadie said, blushing as she remembered what had lead to the dinner. The walked through the lobby of the building in silence, and it was only once they were outside that Justin spoke.

He caught her elbow as she started to walk towards her SUV, and pulled her back to him. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he held her close. Her eyes were wide, having not expected an action like this from him. "I have some errands to run right now, but I will be at your place at 7 sharp, and I'll be hungry." Justin said, then leaned down and kissed her thoroughly before releasing her and heading to his car.

Sadie stood there, not sure what had possessed him to be so bold all of a sudden, but finding that she was now excited about the dinner she hadn't planned yet. She hurried to her SUV, and quickly drove home through the Orlando traffic.

Chapter 10

Chapter 12