The screaming of the girls outside was a constant sound, drifting through the open window beside the table where JC sat. Notebook and pen in hand, he tried to concentrate on the lyrics that were already scribbled on the white pages. He was enjoying the smooth, fresh spring breeze flowing through the window, as if attached to the sunlight falling across the table and floor around him.
Tapping the pen against the desk, JC tried to drown out the chants, the screams, the adoration pouring through the window from the street down below. Not succeeding, JC threw his pen against the wall across the room. "Don't they have school in this state?" JC growled to the empty room, holding his head in his hands. Even covering his ears didn't help. The screams outside were drown to a dull roar, but he could still hear them in his head. How could he not? It was something he heard on a regular basis. Every night at shows and everyday outside of whatever building they happened to be in. Hell, lately he even heard it in his sleep. It was driving him crazy!
When he couldn't take it anymore, JC stood and slammed the window shut. The sound of it crashing into place stopped the screams, for now. JC smiled in satisfaction of his small victory. Sitting back down at the make shift desk, he was about to begin writing again, when he realized his pen was lying across the room on the floor. Exasperated, with no more mental energy to retrieve the pen, JC let his head fall unheeded to the table with a loud thud, and a grunt from his lips at the pain now in his head.
"Nice move, Josh. Planning on giving yourself brain damage?" Joey asked from where he was leaning against the doorframe, having just finished his shower. He rubbed his damp hair vigorously while studying his friend.
"I thought about it, but it hurts too much." JC said, lifting his head from the table and gently rubbing his sore forehead. 'Pain. Well, at least I can still feel SOMETHING.' JC thought, laughing quietly to himself.
"Are you ok, Josh? Lately, I don't know, you just don't seem like yourself. You've been distant, short tempered, and really down. We're starting to get really worried." Joey confessed, taking the seat across from JC, his concern evident in his friendly and caring face.
"Joe," JC started, sighing and leaning back in his chair. He rubbed his temples, trying to stop the headache he could feel starting. "I'm fine, Joe. I'm just a little out of it lately. I can't be Mr. Perfect and Perky all the time you know." he said, a tab more harshly than he had intended.
"No one is saying you have to be." Joey told him, and JC was grateful he had conveniently missed the harsh tone. "But if something's bothering you, we want you to talk to us. We're family and family sticks together. We may not understand, but we can at least try to help. We just want you to give us that chance." Joey said, surprising JC. He knew that Joey wasn't as dumb and clueless as people thought he was, but after all this time, he still amazed JC with how perceptive and supportive he could be.
"Thanks, Joey. I know you guys are worried, but it's really nothing, just a funk I'm in. I'll snap out of it soon. I know I will. But I know where to find you guys if I need you. It's not like we ever have the chance to get more than a hundred yards from each other." JC said laughing as he patted Joey's hand resting in the middle of the table.
Joey laughed with him, and clutched JC's hand in his. All the laughter was gone from Joey's eyes as he looked back up at JC and squeezed his hand. "Promise?"
JC smiled and squeezed Joey's hand in his. "Promise." Joey stood, JC following, knowing what was coming. Joey loved to hug. JC let his friend hug him tightly. "Thanks, Joe. I needed that." JC said when they separated.
"I know." Joey said smiling. Then his eyes filled with mischief. "What time is it?" Joey asked, glancing around the empty living room to their suite.
"About ten. Why?" JC asked hesitantly. Joey winked and looked at JC's watch himself. "Five, four, three, two, one." Joey counted down. JC looked puzzled when all he heard was Lance's alarm clock go off.
"JOEY!!!!" JC cringed when he heard the deep bass voice yell at his friend. Joey was laughing hysterically already. "I'm going to KILL you Joseph Fatone. A slow and agonizing death. I promise you that." Lance continued to shout. JC looked at Joey, still not sure what was going on. Joey was holding his sides as he laughed, gasping for air.
JC's eyes swung back to Lance's door as it was thrown open, and banged against the wall. Lance walked out, dripping wet with a deep red substance running down his face. Lance's green eyes were vibrant with the anger humming through his body.
JC carefully approached Lance, running his finger down Lance's arm. He tasted the familiar smelling substance. His eyes went wide with recognition. He barely noticed Justin and Chris stumble out of their rooms as his wide eyes strayed back to Joey.
"Joey, please tell me that wasn't what I think it was." JC pleaded, trying not to laugh. "Kool-aid, with a hint of strawberry Jell-O." Joey got out between gasps for air. Justin and Chris's mouth dropped open.
"WHAT?!" Lance shouted, his anger evident in his voice. "That shit DYES things!" Lance shouted.
Joey stopped laughing, and looked to the others for confirmation. His jaw flexed as he gulped at their nods. "Sorry?" Joe offered, looking back at Lance. Seeing Lance's eyes narrow at him, Joey gulped again. "Uh-oh." Joey whispered and took off running, out of the suite and down the hotel hallway, Lance dead on his heels. Laughing hysterically, Chris, JC, and Justin chased after their friends, praying they caught Lance before he caught Joey.
~*~
JC watched, mildly amused as Lance shot daggers across the table at Joey. It was comical to look at Lance, though JC could understand why Lance was upset. His normally blond hair was tinged red from Joey's prank, which had backfired. His skin was a little red too, from scrubbing in the shower trying to get the sugary mixture off of his pale flesh.
"Look, I said I'm sorry. I didn't know that junk would stain. Honest. " Joey apologized, for the millionth time.
JC knew Lance wouldn't stay mad for long, it wasn't his nature, for one thing. For another, as opposite as Lance and Joey were, they were best friends, brothers. Joey was sincerely sorry, but Lance was also sincerely pissed off.
Justin stifled his giggles when lance shot a glare his way. "Sorry." Justin said, clearing his throat and looking intently down at his bowl in front of him. However, Chris wasn't as couth as Justin.
"Ya know, Lance, if I were you, I would stick with blond. Red really isn't your color." Chris finished, before breaking into a fit of laughter.
"I'm so glad this amuses you, Chris. Don't let me stop you from laughing at my expense, as you so frequently enjoy doing." Lance spat out. With a glance around the now somber table, Lance angrily pushed his chair back from the table and left the private dinning room.
"I don't get it. I really don't." Chris said, tossing his napkin onto the table. "Used to be, he would have at least been mad for about ten minutes, gotten over it and then laughed his ass off. But lately something's different."
"Joe, remember this morning, you asked me what's up? I'm worried about Lance is what. Something's not right there." JC confessed.
"I know, JC. I'm worried about him too. I was trying to cheer him up, but I don't think it worked out right." Joey said sarcastically. "I honestly didn't know that shit would dye. I just wish he would tell me what's bugging him. Not eve me, just SOMEONE." Joey said, raising his hands in a helpless manner.
"I asked him about it the other day." Justin spoke up from the other end of the table. All eyes turned to him. "I asked him what's been up lately. He yelled at me and told me to mind my own damn business. Then he stormed into the dressing room. He hasn't said more than five words to me sense, unless he had to." Justin said, pushing his uneaten cereal around in his bowl.
"He wasn't even this quick tempered when he was sick." Chris stated.
"You don't have any clue as to what's wrong with him, Joe?" JC asked, grasping at straws. Joey shook his head. "None at all. He doesn't talk to me much anymore. I'm going to call Nicole. Maybe she knows something." Joey said, sadly leaving the table. Nicole was Lance's girlfriend. JC hope Nicole knew something they didn't know.
~*~
Lance rubbed his eyes as he leaned against the wall of the elevator as it took him up to their floor. Another hotel, another room, another anonymous bed, another cold, lonely day. More fake smiles, more acting, more pretending to be happy for the fans, for the cameras.
Lance sighed. "What's wrong with me?" he questioned aloud, though no one was there to hear him. even if they had been, could they have given him an answer? He seriously doubted it. He didn't know, so how was anyone else? He just couldn't figure it out.
He knew Joey hadn't meant to dye his hair that morning, and it used to be that he would have laughed with his friends at the absurdity of it.
'But they weren't laughing with you, were they? No, they were laughing at you.' came that small, annoying voice inside his head. Lance closed his eyes.
'Not now. I don't need this shit right now.' Lance told his other voice, while letting himself into the suite, immediately heading for the mini-fridge.
'Aww, is PooFu in a bad mood?" the little voice taunted.
"Shut the fuck up." Lance whispered to the empty room. Turning towards the counter, lance sat his bottle of water on the counter and leaned against it, trying to calm his thoughts.
'Why are you even here? All you do is keep them in line, make sure they're where they're supposed to be. You're nothing to this group but a glorified alarm clock.'
"Leave me the fuck alone!" Lance shouted.
"Sorry man. I didn't mean to bother you." Justin said, heading back towards the door. Lance turned to Justin, not having heard him come in.
"Justin, I wasn't talking to you." Lance said to the hurt expression on Justin's face. Justin looked at him questioningly. Lance hurried to explain. "I mean- I just-," he stammered, trying to think up an explanation for his outburst.
'Why don't you tell him the truth? You're a psychotic nobody, who talks to little voices in his head.'
Lance closed his eyes against the nagging voice.
"Lance, are you ok?" Justin asked. Lance looked at his worried friend.
'See, he already thinks you're crazy. SO just confirm his opinion.'
"Damnit!" Lance exclaimed, putting his hands over his ears and storming to his room, slamming the door behind him.
Justin stood there, stunned. "Why won't you talk to us? And what the hell just happened here?" Justin asked Lance's closed door.