Rum08text02

Rumble 2008

Contestants!
Mark Ailshie � Selecting: 1 MacBeth, 2 Incredible Hulk
R.J. Harris � Selecting: 1 Wolverine, 2 Han Solo
Alexander Strub - Selecting: 1 Darth Revan, 2 Pheonix (aka Jean Grey)
Robert Newell - Selecting: 1 Vin the Allomancer, 2 Mat Cauthon
Brian Ailshie � Selecting: 1 Peter Petrelli, 2 Duncan McLeod

ROUND 4

Go to Rounds 1-3

Mark Wrote:
>Flash<
Jordan: Mat is about to climb out of the sewer, when suddenly a huge green creature with long spindly arms and a face like a nightmare full of fangs materializes out of the light. Mat quickly ducks back into the sewers.
Saffi Eriksdotter: Ach! Mat, Run! It's the Lhurgoyf!!
Richard Garfield: Indeed, the first of MY creations to enter this Rumble universe. The Lhurgoyf first appeared during the Ice Age expansion, and has since spun off to include seven other cards with the creature type "lhurgoyf." All of them are monstrous scavengers that get bigger based on how many cards of a certain type are in graveyards. This, the original Lhurgoyf, counts the number of creatures in all graveyards.
Tom Servo: Can you translate that for those of us in reality?
Garfield: He gets stronger everytime anybody dies. Ever. Whether he has killed them or not. Since 28 people have died so far, he is currently a 28/29 creature, so he can kill the average planeswalker in less than one swing.
Servo: And, we've left reality again. Well, the point is that it's big, it's mean and green, and it's fishing in the sewer with those huge arms, trying to eat Mat!
Garfield: and Mat is back-pedaling quickly, but probably not quickly enough. The Lhurgoyf starts hunting him from the surface, looking for other prey while he's at it.
Stan Lee: Meanwhile, Paksennarrion and the Dark Phoenix are tangling near the center of the map. I've got to give it to that Paksennarion - she's not backing down at all! And the Phoenix is giving ground quickly.
Elizabeth Moon: Paks decides to finish the battle and raises the Power Sword for a death strike.
Lee: But Phoenix won't allow that! She uses her telekenesis to stop the sword in mid swing, then yanks it unceremoniously out of Paks' hands and whips it over her shoulder! It sails half a block, and imbeds itself into the roof of the Wells Fargo Building!
Richard Moll: I wonder what will happen to anyone who picks up that sword and says the magic words? Will they gain He-Man's strength?
Moon: Well, not much chance of anyone KNOWING the magic words, is there? In any case, it looks like the Phoenix is closing with Paks now, and unfortunately, Paks is out of her element now.
Stan Lee: Indeed! The Phoenix uses her powers to squash the paladin's armor while she is still inside it, and that spells doom for Paksennarion.
Richard Garfield: And the Lhurgoyf becomes a 29/30 creature! See how that works?
Moon: It looks like Jaxom has noticed Phoenix, and is now flying over to fight with her. The Punisher discreetly moves north, out of the line of fire.
Not Santa: Meanwhile, Moroni and my fellow immortal are...
Lee: Hey! How'd you get back up here?
Not Santa: I've always been here, you silly goose!
Lee: Then how is your body still down there, being trodden under foot by Ruth?
Not Santa: It's just part of the magic of Santa Claus!
Richard Moll: You are NOT Santa Claus!
Not Santa: Anyway, Quince and Moroni are fighting wonderfully, and Moroni is clearly a better fighter, but Quince has the advantage of being immortal.
>Flash<
Not Santa: Ooh! It looks like The Predator has joined the Rumble!
Richard Moll: Where? I don't see him!
Not Santa: Well, Santa Claus can always see you, even if you are hiding in the trees with your chameleonic camoflague and pointing a naughty laser cannon at Moroni and Quince. Zappo! And he blasts a hole right through Quince's chest!
Richard Garfield: 30/31! Oh, wait...
Not Santa: Don't count your creatures before they hit the bin, Garfield! Ho, Ho! Quince will be right as rain in a few minutes! Meanwhile, Moroni flees back behind the Tabernacle, and the Predator climbs the side of the building, trying to ambush him.
Garfield: Meanwhile, the Lhurgoyf has followed Mat's scent westward on 100 North, and found another manhole. It's still too big for him to squeeze through though, so he moves away, catching the scent of the Punisher on the far end of the street.
Not Santa: Ho, Ho! And he's much faster than I would have thought! The Punisher better get ready for a fight! Hey, another flash of light!

So, The Lhurgoyf is on 100 North, heading toward the Punisher who is also on 100 North, closer to 100 West. Dark Phoenix is at the center of the board, and Ruth and Jaxom are flying around her, looking for an opening to exploit. Moroni is behind the Tabernacle, and the Predator is sitting on top of the Tabernacle in his camoflague, looking for someone to attack. Slan Quince is regenerating and ought to come back to life at any second. And Mat Cauthon is cowering in the sewer, trying to avoid the Lhurgoyf.

RJ Wrote:
*FLASH!*
Elizabeth Moon: Well, isn�t this a coincidence? Our newest Rumbler is the twin sister of He-Man. It is the Princess of Power, She-Ra.
RJ: I think she might be able to use the Sword of Power correctly, if she ever finds it. For the moment she has arrived at the most deadly area Provo right now�100 North inbetween the Punisher and the monstrous Lhurgoyf.
Madden: (Looks to Lucas). I got a bad feeling about this.
Lucas: As well you should. The Lhurgoyf is closing in on a seemingly easy prey.
RJ: The Punisher although startled at the sight of the huge creature is not going to back down from a fight on behalf of a lovely girl. He steps up to the Lhurgoyf, takes aim with his rifle, and� (She-Ra screams.)
Audience: EWWWW!
Madden: Now that had to hurt. It looks like Mr. Garfield is right. Even though the Punisher is no weak fighter, the Lhurgoyf took his head off with a single swift swing of his massive arms.
Mr. Statistics: Now he�s a 30/31.
Mr. Obvious: She-Ra used the opportunity to run into the nearest building. She is in the Wells Fargo building heading up to higher (and maybe safer) levels.
Madden: Quince has fully regained his strength by the way. The Predator looks over and sees the �man� he had killed and moves over to fight him again.
RJ: Meanwhile, the screams of She-Ra have alerted the rest of the Rumblers. Captain Moroni, Jaxom, and Dark Phoenix all head to the northeast corner of the battle zone. However, only Dark Phoenix makes it there as Mat surprises Moroni by coming out of the sewer on Center Street . He tells Moroni that the further one is away from that green beast, the better off they will be. They head over to the rubble of the NuSkin Tower to plan.
Madden: Jaxom and Ruth never make it over because they are startled by a flash of light�it brings in our newest Rumbler.
*FLASH!*
Lucas: Who is that and how come the Rumble clock has stopped?
Tim Kring: That is Hiro Nakamura. He has the �ability to pierce the space-time continuum and manipulate time.�
Doc Brown: Great Scott! He�s a flux capacitor!
RJ: We gotta have a better screening system for the commentators. Anyway, Hiro has appeared across the street from Mat and Moroni . He looks around and sees no danger. Time resumes and he approaches the two fighters. Jaxom and Ruth join them as well.
Hiro: Are you heroes? (All look to Moroni to take the question.)
Moroni : I will but speak for myself. I fight for my God, religion, freedom, peace, and family. Perhaps in this contest freedom and peace are at the core. I will fight to help those who need it. Before you came, we all heard a woman scream. I believe that we should divide up and help her.
Madden: Wow! It looks like we have a major alliance going on here! The group sends Jaxom and Ruth out to patrol the skies, and once Hiro demonstrates his abilities, he is sent off to search the building�s interiors. Mat agrees to head off on foot with Captain Moroni�believing that the warrior may help him. And now we go on to�
RJ: Wait a second. Aren�t you forgetting someone?
Madden: Well, She-Ra is near the roof of the Wells Fargo building now. Is that it?
Mr. Obvious: What about Dark Phoenix and the Lhurgoyf? Or Quince and the Predator?
Madden: Oh yeah. Well, Quince has realized that he is being hunted by an unseen foe, so he decides to hunt Moroni and Mat. The Predator hunts Quince.
RJ: Meanwhile, Dark Phoenix and the Lhurgoyf have started their �preliminaries.�
Stan Lee: Each of these fighters has major strengths�this fight will come down to who can find the weaknesses the fastest.
Madden: Dark Phoenix send a fire ball toward the Lur-thingy and�
Mr. Obvious: He comes another flash of light!

<RECAP: Mat and Moroni are looking for the �screaming woman� on foot�heading East on Center. Quince is tracking them and the Predator is tracking him. Jaxom/Ruth and Hiro are also looking for the woman none of them have seen in their special ways (The Dragon Rider in the air above the southeast corner and Hiro building by building in the northwest.) She-Ra is on the roof of the Wells Fargo building and has found He-Man�s sword. The Lhurgoyf and Dark Phoenix are battling at the top of the map� University Ave. and 100 North.>

Alexander Wrote:
<FLASH!>
John Madden: Love those flashie thingies, they're the, they're the thingies that bring in the new guys! Who's this new guy?
"I am Gandalf, and Gandalf means... me!" said everyone's favorite Istari as the flash of light brought him into the rumble. Landing on Center Street, Gandalf the Grey arrived directly in the path of Mat and Moroni, who quickly realized that the newcomer was a friend. The three of them continued heading east on Center St.
"It's time to clean house!" screamed Dark Phoenix, as she battled the Lhurgoyf at the intersection of 1st North and University Ave. She flew straight into the monster's gullet and then detonated herself with another massive nuclear explosion -- inside the Lhurgoyf, who was blasted into gooey bits. With Jean Grey's body incinerated, the disembodied Phoenix Force flies into the sky.
Standing atop the Wells Fargo Tower, She-Ra knew she had to use her brother's sword in order to defeat the awful Lhurgoyf. "What was that stupid line he always said?" she thought, trying to remember. "Oh yeah. By the Power of Greyskull... I have the POWER!" The Power Sword empowered She-Ra in the same manner as her brother, although the added musculature didn't bulk her up quite as much. Such a stupid, redundant line... but effective. With her doubly-enhanced reflexes, she simply jumped off of the Wells Fargo Tower to vanquish the Lhurgoyf... only to find another smoking crater in its place.
She-Ra's deafening power-call caught the attention of every rumbler on the map. The Alliance of Good (the name was Moroni's idea) had reached the intersection of Center and University when they paused to identify the source of the scream. Jaxom and Ruth quickly turned back from the southeast and rendezvoused with the Alliance. Hiro was closer to She-Ra and saw the newly buffed-up heroine land at the new crater. He ran east along 1st North to meet up with her.
And then, the rumble is interrupted with a new...
<FLASH!>
Robert Jordan: The newcomer is Aviendha, a clever, red-haired Aiel Channeler. She's landed in front of Slan Quince and the Predator on Center Street, and a little behind the Alliance.
Stan Lee: Why her? Aren't they're any better characters you could've brought in?
Alexander: And I suppose you'd have been happier off with the late Carnagertooth?
Stan Lee: As a matter of fact, I would! Couldn't you bring someone powerful?
As it happened, Aviendha's sparkling arrival caught the attention of the Phoenix Force. A powerful red-haired channeler? Such beings were the ideal hosts of the Phoenix! Taking the form of a gigantic flaming bird, the Phoenix Force materialized in the sky and flew straight into the terrified, screaming Aviendha. Raised into the sky, her long hair flailing wildly, Aviendha's eyes glowed with dark fire. "I am PHOENIX!" she shrieked, with a deafening blast that shattered windows.
Stan Lee: Now that's what I'm talking about!
Now clad in the familiar red and gold costume, Aviendha-Dark-Phoenix confronted Quince and the Predator with curving weaves of fire. The power was intoxicating -- she had never been able to actually weave fire before. Perhaps "confronted" is the wrong word to describe the event; "annihilated" would be better. Two flaming corpses were all that remained of Quince and the Predator. With these two slain, Aviendha-Dark-Phoenix took to the skies with a scream, leaving a trail of flames behind her.
Accuracy Man: But Slan Quince can only be slain by another Highlander, AND he has to be beheaded!
Alexander: Perhaps you're right. And yet... Death.
The dice kept rolling in Mat's head. "Shut up!" he shouted, "Flaming bloody dice! Ashes and blood and flaming... (the rest of Mat's sentence is edited out because, in fact, the Rumble is a family show.)

Recap: The Alliance of Good (Capt. Moroni, Mat Cauthon, Gandalf the Grey and Jaxom/Ruth) are standing in astonishment at the re-embodiment of the Phoenix Force at the intersection of University and Center. Hiro Nakamura has just met up with She-Ra, who has just been empowered with He-Man's power in addition to her own (perhaps She-Hulk-Ra would now be a more accurate name), and is armed with the Power Sword of Greyskull. The power-mad Aviendha-Dark-Phoenix is flying high up in the air and is currently over the collapsed NuSkin Tower. Slan Quince's charred body is slowly recovering somewher nearby

Robert Wrote:
<FLASH>
Robert: What is going on?
Wesley Crusher: There is some sort of temporal anomaly causing the space/time...
Robert: WHO LET HIM IN HERE!?! <presses a big red button>
<FLASH>
Gene Roddenberry: And Wesley enters the arena, still time frozen by a temporal anomaly.
Robert: Not everyone is frozen, Hiro Nakamura is unaffected. He is confused that his powers are not functioning properly when he sees a man in reddish brown robes and a big floppy, pointed hat who is chanting to himself and waving his arms in odd motions.
Mr Obvious: Elminster? He must have immediately cast an extended, enhanced, intensified time stop when he entered the arena.
Robert: Indeed, Elminster stopped time with his magic so he could set up his defenses and find a safe place to gather intelligence before he entered the fray. Hiro was unaffected by the magic due to his powers. The two of them go off together, Hiro recognizing Elminster from his days of playing D&D video games and is in awe of being able to ally with the Sage of Shadowdale.
Gene Roddenberry: And the temporal anomaly seems to have ended. GOOD GRIEF!!! Why do you hate Wesley so much!?!
Robert: Maybe because he is so whiny and annoying? Dark Phoenix/Aviendha certainly realized this quickly and set him on fire. He didn't burn for too long.

So, the Alliance of Good (Capt. Moroni, Mat Cauthon, Gandalf the Grey and Jaxom/Ruth) are standing in astonishment at the re-embodiment of the Phoenix Force at the intersection of University and Center. She-Hulk-Ra is really wondering where Nakamura went. Elminster and Hiro are in the Provo City Offices where Elminster is preparing a scrying spell. Aviendha/Dark Phoenix is re-incinerating the ashes of Wesley Crusher.

Brian Wrote:
<<FLASH>>
John Madden: Hey, how'd Mr. Clean re-enter the fray?
Charles Barkley: You knucklehead. That ain't Mr. Clean. That Lex Luthor. They both bald, but neither them guys make the bald thing look as good as me.
Lois Lane: Lex appears by the large hole in the ground near the county office building. He spots Pheonix still hovering in the air, and the Alliance standing below her. 15 minutes of awe is a long time, and finally they spring into action. Mat flings a knife at the Phoenix knowing that something just isn't right.
Mat: Those Aiel are just to dangerous anyway, never mind one that's just been taken over by some dark-fiend.
Lois: The knife speeds straight at Phoenix, but unexplainably begins to slow until it stops in mid air, a foot or two from the Phoenix force. It then flips around and speeds back the way it came, gathering speed as it goes. Mat leaps away, but the blade turns in it's flight to follow him.
THUNK
Tolkien: That-a-boy! Gandalf caught the blade in his staff. Giving the staff a twirl he conjures up something for this Phoenix thing. After all, flames and burning things are his speciality. In a moment, the girl's clothing bursts in flames. Writhing in pain she touches down to the ground.
Stan Lee: Ha! The Phoenix force has saved her though! She steps from the flames and weaves air and earth trying to entangle the old wizard.
Madden: But somehow Capt. Moroni intervenes and 'catches' the weaves himself. He slumps to the ground, entangled in he weaves.
Mr. Pious: Fortunately the heroic warrior lands with his face away from the girl, as the ash falls away, we see she is stark naked! I can't believe she is just standing there attacking these men in her nudity!
Jordan: Well, she's Aiel. Exposing her flesh is nothing to be ashamed of.
Wayne and Garth: Especially when she's a mega-hottie-licious! ShaaWiing!
Tolkien: Unfazed, Gandalf blasts her again. This time a jet like a summer firework shoots into her. The girl stumbles and falls. Jaxom and Mat both fling knives, while Gandalf continues his barrage. Getting back to his feet, Moroni takes his javelin and thrusts this into the poor girl's burned chest.
Madden: A *POP* issues from Aviendha as the Phoenix force seeks another host. It skims south toward the last female in the arena, She-Ra. Looks like all that work by the Alliance is going to be just wasted effort! And She-Ra . . . what happened to her?
Greg Widen: It seems they all forgot how my immortals work. Quince survived the burning. Rather easily too. Swinging his blade through the air he removes She-Ra from the fight by removing her head. Sorry Stan, your Phoenix force has no where to go now. It . . . HEY!
Stan Lee: As the Phoenix force speed from the arena it makes one final attack, and removes Quince's head as well. The Lightning storm covers the flash of our new arrival.
Lois Lane: He appears near Luthor, and while everyone else watches the lighting storm, Luthor makes a new ally. They move out as the storm ends.
Gandalf: Well. That was certainly interesting! So my friends what shall we do next? Should we . . .
RATATTAATTATATTTT!
Bruce Willis: And the new contestant strikes. Using a 9mm pistol he shoots the wizard down, then turns on Moroni. They both go down. Jimmy 'the Tulip' Tudeski ducks for cover as Mat flings another of his knives, but shoots from the 2nd story window of the building a moment later.
Anne McCaffrey: But his quarry has flown the coop. Literally. Leaping astride Ruth, Mat and Jaxom fly North down University.
Madden: And here comes our next competitor!

So: Hiro and Elminster are still scheming in the Provo City offices, Luthor and the Tulip are in the second story of the building on the North East of the University/ Center intersection, and Jaxom and Mat are flying north on Ruth.

ROUND 5

Mark Wrote:
>Flash<
Lucas: Oh Yes!!
Tolkien: Oh, crud...
Lucas: Darth Maul has appeared on University Ave, directly in the path that Ruth was flying, and he looks angry!
Mr. Obvious: He always looks angry.
Lucas: Well, yeah, it's the make-uhh-the tattoos! Yeah, the tattoos.
Mark: In any case, he's ready to fight! He ignites his double lightsaber and force-leaps straight up at Ruth, neatly decapitating the dragon on the up swing, and slicing through Jaxom on the downswing.
Anne McCaffrey: If he had been smarter, he would have just killed Jaxom. Then Ruth would have gone Outside,
and taken Mat with her - kill two for the price of one.
Michael Cole: Well, don't think Darth Maul has forgotten about Mat either! He lands on his feet mere yards from where Mat lands flat on his stomach amid the corpses of his erstwhile allies. Mat catches his breath as quickly as he can and whips a knife at Maul, but Darth Maul catches it with the force and flings it aside.
Jordan: This isn't very sporting of him! My guy is winded! Why won't he fight him fairly?
Mr. Obvious: Fair play is not much of a priority for a Sith lord.
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: Well, winded or not, Mat wouldn't have had much chance against Darth Maul.
Darth Maul severs both his arms first, and then follows up with a horizontal slash that splits his skull neatly in half. Maul is momentarily surprised to find a pair of dice rumbling around inside . . .
Gorilla Monsoon: What are you talking about?
Heenan: Little joke.
Monsson: Not funny.
Heenan: Yes it was. Anyway, after ten minutes or so of planning, Elminster and Hiro emerge from the Provo
City Offices, and start heading north on University. Wonder what their plan is?
Monsoon: Well, it's probably not to get shot by the Tulip, but that's what's gonna happen if they keep heading in that direction.
Tazz: The Tulip takes aim and is about to shoot when suddenly Hiro touches Elminster's shoulder and they both vanish:
Tulip: What the--
Luthor: Look out!
>FWOOOOMM!!<
Monsoon: Whoa! Where'd the fireball come from?
Micahel Cole: It looked like it came from the other
side of the street, but there wasn't--
Heenan: Anybody there, right. You stupid Humanoids. Obviously, this is how Hiro and Elminster are working together. And now comes another fireball from the north, and a third from the south again. Hiro teleports them around, leaving them long enough for Elminster to make a single attack and then disappear. Brilliant. Tulip has no chance to get a lock on them, and he's too busy dodging fireballs to try.
Monsoon: Looks like Lex is abandoning his ally!
Heenan: Course he is! Always trust the Brain to know when to run, or when to cheat.
Monsoon: Well, I don't see what he's going to accomplish by diving out of the building straight toward the street!
Heenan: Of course you don't. That's why they call you 'Gorilla', and they call me 'Brain.' He looks over his shoulder at the window where Tulip was a second ago - still getting pounded with fireballs, one of those must have gotten Tulip by now - and Lex starts running north.
Monsoon: Straight toward where Darth Maul is waiting for him! That won't help him out.
Brain: He takes aim and shoots at Darth Maul with his laser. Naturally Maul deflects it with his lightsaber, and comes after him like a panther.
Monsoon: He's just standing there waiting for him! Is Lex suicidal! And now Hiro and Elminster appear on
the rooftop just above him, and Elmister weaves another fireball--
Heenan: Watch and learn, humanoid! Lex at that minute flips open a manhole cover with his foot and drops into the sewers, and the fireball hits Darth Maul!
Lucas: Oh, Dang it! He didn't even get to do hardly anything...
Owl: Worry not, dear friend! Maul got his protection up. The smoke clears, and Drath Maul is unharmed, and now VERY angry indeed.
Monsoon: He charges at Elminster and Hiro, and Hiro instinctively stops time. But, he is astonished to see, his power seems to have no effect on Darth Maul whatsover!
Tolkien: How can that be?
Lucas: My creations are timeless.
Monsoon: That or it's got something to do with the Force. Anyway, Hiro lets time go again and reaches out to teleport Elminster away, but Darth Maul reaches out with the force and throws Hiro with tremendous power at the wall of the building across the street. He instinctively teleports away . . .
Heenan: Just like he did when Syler chucked him in a similar fashion.
Madden: Hey, folks, I dunno if Hiro's in the rumble anymore! I get no sign of him anywhere in the arena! If he teleported outside of the Rumble, then he's been disqualified, right?
Official Judge: Negative. Hiro is still within the boundaries of the Rumble.
Madden: Howzatt?
OJ: He teleported forward in time. He is still within the confines of the time for the rumble, though, so he has NOT been eliminated.
Madden: Huh? Whatever. Pass me them chickenwings!
Tazz: What a sec, look at that chronometer! Shouldn't we have gotten another competitor almost five minutes
ago?
Madden: <Munch, slurp, burp!> Huh? Oh, yeah, we must have missed the flash because of all the fireballs. It was a little flash, over here in the same fountain that the Mask used to flush Mr. Clean. Little green guy. Looks like there's a couple dozen of them by now, running all over the place....

<Darth Maul is about to go head to head against Elminster on the roof of a building on the North side of Univ. Ave. Lex Luthor is hiding in the sewer, and The Tulip is hiding in the basement of the building directly North East of the intersection of University and Center - both of these assume the other was killed by Elminster's fireballs. And Stripe is currently relaxing in the fountain, letting roughly one gremlin every ten seconds pop off his body, many of whom land directly in the fountain where they create more. There are roughly 30 of them now, and more coming every minute.>

RJ Wrote:
RJ: Let�s get into this. Here with me is our famous duo of Tolkien and Lucas.
Madden: And me!
RJ: And Mr. Madden. Anyway, before we get to that flash of light, let�s start with a question for J.R.R. You have been a teacher before, Professor; don�t you just love the end of term?
Tolkien: Well as a teacher of English, end of term meant many papers and essays to read�nothing to horrible, except for the Freshman work! What do you teach?
RJ: Math�algebra and geometry.
Madden: Oh, I am sorry.
RJ: Well someone has to do it. And with a brilliant Flash of light we get�
*FLASH*
Tolkein and Lucas: Oh no!
Wayne and Garth: WOAH! That babe is a total mac-hottie! NOT!
Mr. Precise: In fact, the newest competitor is not a �babe� at all; she is the evil sorceress Maleficent.
RJ: She appears at the corner of Center and 100 West. She strolls toward the fighting Darth Maul and Elminster. She lets a blast out of her staff. Darth turns on Elminster to face the more dangerous foe.Walt Disney: Now we will see how my creations will fare in this new Rumble.
Madden: Well, if my guess counts for anything, they�ll be fighting for quite a while. But it seems that Maul is not fighting as hard as he could. He is easily deflecting the blasts from Maleficent, but he is not yet attacking.
Mr. Opinion: I might interject here that Maleficent has all of the evil characteristics and ruthless qualities that the Sith pride in themselves; perhaps Maul is just testing his opponent for worth.
Tolkein: Well, thank you, interesting theory indeed. We now create a new character to cumbersome this booth even more whenever now?
RJ: Pretty much, I think. Anyway, Maul and Maleficent start to head toward the Tabernacle where Lex has emerged form the sewers and is hiding out. Meanwhile�
*FLASH*
RJ: Oh, looks like our next Rumbler is here. The flash of light was in the North edge of the map. It looks like the wizard is headed that way. Elminster has left the Maul/Maleficent battle and is discovering that he is being followed by hundreds of gremlins.
Madden: Oh, so those green, slimy things are coming form the guy in the fountain, right?
Tolkein: Yes, indeed, very good simple sportscaster. Elminster gets into the Wells Fargo building and is blinded by another flash of light.
Mr. Statistics: Just so everyone knows this is not bringing in a new competitor�it is nowhere close to five minutes of Rumble time.
RJ: The flash of light has had an effect on the Rumble though�it killed the gremlins following Elminster. The wizard lets his eyes adjust and�
Elminster: It cannot be. You fell, Gandalf.
Gandalf: I return to you now, at the turn of the tide.
Elminster: And what of Hiro?
Gandalf: He will return at the moment of greatest need.
Lucas: Now wait I minute! I know he has been here before how can he enter again!
Tolkien: Simple. His first appearance was as Gandalf the Grey. He gave his live to save another and can, therefore, enter as his superior self�Gandalf the White. It is no different if we were to see Anakin Skywalker come in, regardless of Darth Vader�s demise earlier.
Lucas: What? Ani can come in. OK. Fine by me; Gandalf the White can stay.
RJ: Now that we have that cleared up. Gandalf explains this to Elminster and he tells the White Wizard of what has occurred since he �left�. They head to the top of the building to survey the scene.Meanwhile Stripe continues to send out his little buddies. They have found the Tulip hiding and are heading back to the Provo City offices�and making a mess of it.
Madden: And we now go to Alex for�
RJ: Not so fast. I have a question. How is Stripe producing so many gremlins in the open air? Wouldn�t the sunlight destroy them?
Mr. Obvious: Well, only direct sunlight kills the gremlins�
Tolkein: Or a blast from the White Wizard!
Mr. Obvious: �so, it stands to reason that it must currently be either cloudy or night in Provo. Take your pick. Either way, you must remember that sunlight will destroy the gremlins.
RJ: OK. Now on to the next flash of light and Alex!

RECAP: Maul and Maleficent are fighting in front of the Tabernacle. Lex Luthor is plotting/waiting inside. Elminster and Gandalf the White are on top of the Wells Fargo building, watching. Stripe is still producing gremlins, many of which have joined the Tulip in ransacking the City offices. And Hiro is still somewhere in time.

Alexander Wrote:
<FLASH!>
John Madden: And here we all are roasting turduckens! I mean, here we, here we are with the new guy! Who is he?
Chris Metzen: The newcomer is one of my most evil creations, Gul'dan the Warlock!
John Madden: Do what now?
Chris Metzen: Sigh. Gul'dan is an extremely powerful orc from the WarCraft legendarium, with incredible arcane prowess. He is very skilled in both demonic and necromantic magic, and, well, just watch and see how powerful he is.
Maleficent has transformed into her dragon form and is breathing fire at Darth Maul, who is avoiding her blasts with his Force Jump skill. Thus, when Gul'dan approaches the battle, both are too preoccupied to care. "Corpus ghorag chorak!" chants the orcish warlock, spinning his staff in bizarre patterns in front of him.
The green lawn in front of the Tabernacle is immediately covered in a noxious cloud of death magic, as Gul'dan has just cast "Death and Decay." Darth Maul does a Force Jump aerial-backflip combo across the street to the roof of Los Hermanos, but Maleficent is too slow and cumbersome in her dragon form and is consumed by the dark magic. She rapidly disintegrates, and her bones fall to the ground in a pile.
Gul'dan smiles wickedly. When the cloud clears, he gives a brusque wave of his hand and the bones reanimate. In short, he now has a magical bone dragon to do his bidding. Should Gul'dan fall, any undead he creates will lose the magic holding them together and collapse.
"What's going on out here?" Lex Luthor says, opening the doors of the Tabernacle. He had intended to ally himself with the victor of the skirmish, but was not expecting what he saw.
Gul'dan gives another wave of his hand, casting the spell "Shadow Spear." Dark energy shoots from his hand and impales Luthor, who falls to his knees, then his face, and finally expires. Soon Gul'dan has a human skeleton in addition to his bone dragon.
Having seen Gul'dan's potent dark magic from atop the Wells Fargo Tower, the White and Red Wizards decide that the time for action has come. They cast a teleport spell and rematerialize in front of one of the small stores on University Avenue. We'll see how they can handle the single most powerful mortal warlock in history. The wizards head south, discussing their plan of attack.
<FLASH!>
John Madden: Who's that?
George Lucas: Why that's my Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I liked him so much, I put him in every one of my Star Wars movies. Even after I killed him off, I found a way to bring him back as a ghost!
Obi-Wan has appeared in the city offices, where he challenges Jimmy the Tulip to stop his senseless destruction. The Tulip laughs at the man in the bathrobe and draws a gun. He is incredibly startled when Obi-Wan deflects every bullet with his lightsaber, and even more surprised when the Jedi hurtles through the air towards him at lightning speed. The Tulip soon ends up in three pieces on the floor, though there's no blood, as Kenobi's lightsaber has cauterized every wound it has made. At that moment, a mob of Stripe's gremlin progeny swarm towards the Jedi Master. Kenobi sends a wave of Force Push energy towards them, throwing the creatures in all directions. Obi-Wan rushes out of the building to escape the little devils. He then heads north towards the fountain, where Stripe is continuing to reproduce.
Seeing his nemesis Kenobi, Darth Maul leaps from atop his Los Hermanos perch and lands at the intersection of University and Center.
Gul'dan has watched these events with great interest. Boastfully, he shouts to the heavens: "I am the Great Stormreaver! I am the Master of the Shadow Council! I am Gul'dan the Warlock, I am the Destroyer of Dreams!" He begins to head east from the Tabernacle lawn, where the vegetation has all decayed from the Warlock's initial spell.
At that very moment, Hiro reappeared from his time travel...

Summary:
Obi-Wan is heading north, and is about to reach the fountain where Stripe is reproducing. Elminster and Gandalf are heading south from the Wells Fargo Tower on University. The city offices are still filled with gremlins. Darth Maul is at the intersection of University and Center, and is preparing to attack Obi-Wan Kenobi. Gul'dan the Warlock is heading east with his skeleton and bone dragon minions, and Hiro has just reappeared in the Rumble, though the conditions of his arrival are up to Robert...

Robert Wrote:
<FLASH>
Robert: Oh no... the most terrifying thing that could possibly be imagined!
Stephen King: Ten thousand maggots eating your face off while you are still alive and cheese graters...
Robert: Eww, no. Worse actually, Barney the Purple Dinosaur has entered the Rumble.
All: Nooooo!
Robert: It's okay, the combatants are aware of the need to dispatch this monstrosity. Barney appears in between Darth Maul and Obi-wan Kenobi. After a brief telepathic exchange, the jedi and the sith put off their duel to eliminate the greater threat.
George Lucas: Oooh, jedi and sith working together for a common goal. That gives me an idea for episode 0 or maybe for episode 3 1/2. I could...
<thump>
JRR Tolkien: Why did you just shoot him with a tranquilizer gun?
Robert: He has already damaged his franchise enough, I can't let him do any more.
Robert Jordan: Well, the two swordsmen have defeated the beast.
Robert: Barney now lies in cauterized chunks in the middle of the road. Obi-wan and Darth Maul look like they are ready to resume their grudge match.
John Madden: We spent so long watching those guys, but what happened to the rest of the rumblers? I'll just queue it up on instant replay.
Robert: Gandalf and Elminster have crossed paths with Gul'dan and his skeletal minions. A titanic wizard's duel is commencing.
JRR Tolkien: But Hiro is still nowhere to be found. And Stripe is still reproducing without interruption.
<FLASH>
Robert: Where is the new rumbler?
John Madden: Of course you can't see him. The Invisible Man is, well, invisible.

So: Obi-wan and Darth Maul are staring each other down over the smoking carcass of Barney the Pruple Dinosaur. Elminster and Gandalf are fighting Gul'dan and his skeletons. Hiro has reappeared, but he has not revealed his location or what he did when time had apparently stopped. Stripe is reproducing as fast as he can, and gremlins are starting to spill out of the city offices. The Invisible Man is hiding in plain sight, waiting for an opportunity to strike.

Brian Wrote:
<<Flash>>
Steven Spielberg: Hey, it's one of my characters!
Mr. Statistics: And one of the Rumble's most prolific. He has yet to miss an event, obviously that record now continues.
John Williams: Da-da-da-daaaa, da-da-Daaaa, Da-da-da-DAAAAA, Da-da-da-da-daaaa . . .
Harrison Ford: I've still got it don't I?
Teenie Bobber Girls: ooooh! Indiana! -faint-
Madden: Anyway, I'm sure Indy is looking to continue his streak with the win in the last Rumble, but he's not heading the right way now. He's about to get swept up in the wizard's battle. I'm sure as a non-magic person he's going to get squashed in the middle.
Elminster: Indiana! Wow we could sure use your help right now!
Madden: Huh? How does Elminster know Indy?
Mr. Statistics: They teamed up with many others way back in the first Rumble to try to defeat Malissant.
Madden: Oh, well I guess Gul'Dan isn't that much different then.
Mark: Well, I wouldn't say . . .
Madden: LOOK OUT INDY!
Ford: That skeleton guy just about grabbed me . . . I mean . . . Jones, but he turned around just in time. As quick as lightning, out flashes his famous whip. In an instant the skeleton is missing a few neck bones. It's still coming though, until Indy hits it a few more times, breaking it up even further until it falls as a truly lifeless heap.
Tolkien: Gul'dan gives a howl and sends a blast of black energy at Jones. Gandalf waves his staff and a flash of light blocks the spell.
Madden: However at the same time, the dragon bellows and also launches itself at Indiana. Jones zips out his pistol and fires it repeatedly. A few bones break away, but there's just too much of the dragon for that to do much. However Elminster steps in and shields the two of them with a bubble spell, then as that starts to break under the dragon's continues assault, he teleports them away.
Lucas: Oh, oh. Looks like your Gandalf is in trouble now. Another jet of black power shoots out and the dragon launches in as well.
Tim Kring: But it's Hiro to the rescue! Pausing time; he appears, grabs Gandalf, and disappears as well.
Tolkien: Thank you my good man.
Madden: Well with that taken care of, let's look at what else is happening.
<<Flash>>
Madden: Or, lets look at who's the new guy. Oh! I know this guy.
Mr. Statistics: It's another of our Rumble regulars, the caped crusader - Batman.
Madden: Yeah, like I said I knew that. He appears on the roof of the city offices looking down on Stripe and the multitude of gremlins.
Batman: An evil like this must be stopped.
Stan Lee: Batman then lobs a handful of bat-grenades. They land around the square. Dozens of the gremlins are splattered. It seems that being blown to smithereens works as well as light to kill gremlins.
Madden: Of course the flash from the grenades kills several more gremlins, and the shockwave takes out a few more.
Stan Lee: Lucky for everyone, one of the grenades hits the fountain.
Tolkien: So is Stripe dead? What happens to the gremlins?
Brian: If Stripe is killed the gremlins stay in the arena, but they are no longer eligible to win (though they could still kill more characters). However, Stripe is not dead. See? He was flung aside and is now laying in the grass just north of the tabernacle. There are also still a few dozen gremlins running around.
Stan Lee: And now those remaining gremlins are swarming toward Batman on his perch. Is this the end of the Dark Knight? Ha! of course not! Batman drops another flash bomb, killing another dozen gremlins. He then swings away to Allen's Photograpy.
Madden: Well that settles that battle. What about the Jedi vs. Sith battle?
Lucas: Finally! They've been trading blows with their lightsabers, sparks flying everywhere! Lots of jumps, parries, chops, blocks, and such. It's too bad the folks at home can't SEE this. It's almost as good as the fight scene at the end of Menace.
Tolkien: They were both startled by the grenade explosion though, and both got sprayed with some gremlin carcass.
Stan Lee: In fact, a few gremlins land around them and attack each of them.
Lucas: No matter! Darth Maul skewers two, then back swings and takes out two more. At the same time, Obi-Wan dices the 5 around him. That distraction over, they leap back into battle.
Brian: And here comes our next competitor with another flash of light!
Madden: Wait a minute, what about the invisible guy?
Brian: Sorry, you'll have to read the summary. Kind of hard to see what he did when he's invisible.
Madden: I guess you've got a point there. So let's sum up.

Recap: Obi-Wan and Darth Maul are still fighting on Center Street in front of Ottavios. Batman is on the roof of Allen's Photography (a 2 story building). Stripe is on the lawn of the park north of the Tabernacle. Gul'Dan and his bone dragon have spotted the lightsaber duel and are heading that way. Hiro, Gandalf, Indiana, and Elminster are setting new plans in the parking garage at the North West corner of the arena. And last but certainly not least, the Invisible Man is still invisible. He's thanking his lucky stars he didn't get caught in the battle with Batman and Stripe, though he did have to dispatch a few stray gremlins that got too close to his hiding spot on the East end of the City offices.

ROUND 6

Mark Wrote:
>FLASH!<
Batman whirls to his left to the being that has just flashed into the rumble beside him, and instinctively takes a step back. It is a seven-foot spider with eight hairy legs each ending in a claw. The creature stands on four legs and holds four more out in front
of it like arms. Batman draws a batarang, but before he can react, the spider reaches out and seizes his wrist in one of its claws...
And suddenly, Batman is not afraid of the creature at all. In an instant, they know everything significant about one another, and can speak mind to mind. Batman now knows, for example, that the creature is female, and that she is called Shriek, and that she can alter her body chemistry in order to change the stiff hairs on her body into deadly projectiles.
Meanwhile, Obiwan and Maul are battling fiercely, when their fight is rudely interrupted by the attack of Guldam's bone dragon! It knocks Obi-Wan aside into the horde of rampaging gremlins on the tabernacle lawn, and starts clawing and attacking Darth Maul.
Maul snarls and leaps to attack. He is more than capable of killing the bone dragon, but it is difficult to convince the dragon to stay dead. Guldam is about to use another spell to attack Darth Maul, when suddenly he is attacked from just north of University by Elminster who has just appeared there hurling fireballs! Guldam turns his attaention toward the red wizard, but he is suddenly being attack from the south by Gandalf. Guldam, as powerful as he is, is nearly overwhelemed by the combination of these two great mages.
Speaking of being overwhelmed, the gremlins, though small, are beginning to overwhelm Obi-Wan, when suddenly it occurs to him thsat if anything qualified as 'weak minded' it was these creatures. He waves his hands and says, "You don't want to eat Jedi." The horde of Gremlins--Stripe among them--stops, confused, but echoes, "We no wanna eat Jedi." "There's much better food over there," he says waving toward the magical battle he sees in the distance. The Gremlins snarl and make sounds approximating what he said, and then move to attack Guldam and his foes. Bad timing. Hiro appears holding Indiana Jones (having already teleported his other allies into the fight), but he appears just in the path of the attacking Gremlins. Before they can take a breath, Jones and Hiro are being overrun by hungry, force-addled Gremlins intent on attacking and eating anyone in their path. Jones whips around himself, but the Gremlins keep coming. Hiro draws his sword and tries to stop time, but he can't concentrate with all the hack-and-slash he's forced to do.
Speaking of being distracted, Guldam is so busy fighting two wizards that he has been neglecting his bone dragon. Darth Maul has chopped it into bone meal, and now Obi-Wan closes against him again, and Jedi vs. Sith continues for a few moments.
Guldam finally makes a dent in his adversaries when he lashes out with a wave of decay at Elminster, and the old mage is instantly blasted into dust. The Orc gives a cry of triumph and whirls to face Gandalf alone, but the White Wizard has closed the gap, and now he strikes out with Glamdring, slashing the Orc Warlock's staff from his hand. The Warlock draws his sword(?), and the two begin melee.
>Flash!<
A grey bearded man in a long coat appears a few dozen yards to the East of where Gandalf and Guldan have begun fighting. The man sees the two fighting, though they don't see him, smiles tightly and draws a tazer-pistol from his coat.
Macbeth: Enough fighting, beasties! Time for you two to take a break!
So saying, Macbeth fires two blasts of electricity at Guldam and Gandalf, who were so locked in combat that the lightning struck them before they were aware, and rendered them both unconcious.
Macbeth: Ah! That felt good!
Mark: At last, Macbeth had entered the fray, but surprise! It's not the Macbeth you were thinking of! This is not the Macbeth from Shakespeare, but the Macbeth from Gargoyles - a great warrior almost eight hundred years old that has grown with the times, and has added technology and wealth to his arsenal of weapons.
Walt Disney: But, wait a minute! Isn't Macbeth immortal?
Mark: Right, Macbeth is my first pick, so he is in fact immortal.
Walt Disney: That wasn't what I meant...
But Macbeth isn't the only one making a profound effect on the map of the rumble! Obi-Wan and Darth Maul are focusing on fighting one another when suddenly a pair of Bat-nets spring over each of them.
Darth Maul struggles to escape for a split second until an unearthly undulating screech pierces the silence, and he finds himself pepperred with tiny hair-like darts. His heart rate is so fast that the poison is quickly sent through his entire body. With a snarl of rage at the injustice of it, Darth Maul falls over dead.
Obi-Wan struggles to escape the net, but before he can reach his lightsaber, Shriek is there before him. She reaches out and siezes his shoulder, and suddenly Kenobi stobs fighting.
Shriek <Mindspeech>: Approach, O Wayne, and join your mind with this noble Jedi.
Batman complies, and soon Obi-Wan, Batman and Shriek are joined mind to mind, able to communicate telepathically with one another by simple touch, or over long distances in Shriek's case.
Meanwhile, Hiro and Indiana Jones have fought off enough gremlins that the rest have turned and run. Hiro sees Macbeth lining up the unconscious Gandalf for a death shot.
Hiro: NOOO!!!
Hiro teleports behind Macbeth and drives his sword between his ribs. Macbeth screams in pain and anger and falls to his knees. Hiro siezes Gandalf and teleports away to the top of the Wells Fargo building.
Tazz: Well, that was quick! It seems like Mark's immortal pick didn't last very long...
Mark: Think again.
As we watch on the monitor, the "Dead" Macbeth groans and sits up. The wound in his chest closes, and in a few moments he is on his feet again.
Tazz: How in the....
Walt Disney: I told you--he is immortal. There is only one way that he can die: His life is tied to Demona the Gargoyle who was his ally for eighty years and then betrayed him. Each will live as long as the other does, sharing one another's pains, never to find peace until one of them kills the other.
Tazz: I see...and since Macbeth is also Mark's pick...
Disney:...That can only happen when he is writing the story, yes.
Mark: Cool.

Recap: Stripe has retreated to the Tabernacle and is desperately looking for water (most of his gremlins have been slaughtered at this point) Guldam is lying unconscious at University and Center, and Macbeth is standing just beside him, still recovering from Hiro's sword wound. Indiana Jones is standing about fifty feet to the South in the middle of University, having just watched Macbeth recover. Hiro and Gandalf are on top of the Wells fargo tower, Gandalf being still out cold. Obi-Wan, Shriek, and Batman are on 100 West, just north of the intersection with Center St. And the Invisible Man is on the roof of the Provo City offices, having decided to watch and wait until the rumble is over, and then pick off the the only survivor.

RJ Wrote:
RJ: With a flash of light our competitor arrives!
Madden: It�s�I don�t know. They are in a sleek black car. Nice set of wheels.
Mr. Obvious: No one is driving.
RJ: That�s because the next Rumbler IS the car. Say hello to K.I.T.T. The high-tech auto from Knight Rider is making a first time visit to the Rumble.
Mr. Statistics: Yes, this a first visit for K.I.T.T. but not the first for a car. Herbie the Love-bug made an appearance in our last team event.
RJ: Anyway, it appears that as K.I.T.T. has claimed another kill. The unconscious Gul�Dam was run over as he lay in the street. Macbeth had to pull off a Matrix type flip to avoid getting hit too. It seems that K.I.T.T. already has a good grasp of the situation here in the Rumble. He spins around and heads toward Indy. He comes to a stop and the doors open
KITT: Enter Dr. Jones. We have work to do.
Madden: Well I didn�t expect that.
Mr. Obvious: I don�t think Indiana Jones was either. It�s not everyday that you meet a car that talks and drives by itself.
RJ: Indy gets in and the car heads off to the South end of the arena and turns right.
Madden: Looks like they are heading to the corner away from the action. Like tough actin��
Tolkien: No commercials please. I will take the report from here. After avoiding another attempt on his existence, Macbeth has headed North to find his first would-be assassin. The car�s demise would come later. Meanwhile, Hiro and Gandalf plan their next move.
Lucas: It appears that they are waiting for someone�maybe they know something we don�t.
Tom Kring: Well, just because Hiro and Gandalf appeared on the Well Fargo Tower doesn�t mean they didn�t go somewhere else first.
RJ: Do you mean�they know who is coming next?
Kring: And where.
Madden: Huh?
RJ: Just watch. You soon see 2 of them here in a moment.
Tolkein: We are at another 5 minutes and a flash of light brings�
�HO HO HO�
Madden: Hey didn�t we already have Not Santa. It this the REAL one?
Lucas: No, look at him he�s big and green.
Lee: Hey, I thought Mark picked Hulk.
RJ: He did, this my fellow commentators is the Jolly Green Giant.
Madden: You mean the veggie guy?
RJ: The one and the same. And if you notice the East corner, KITT has come up 100 west with Indy and
*POP* *POP**POP**POP**POP**POP**POP**POP*
Madden: Was that Hiro and Gandalf?
Mr. Obvious: Yes, they quickly visited the other 8 intersections of the arena after the battle with Gul�Dam. They both knew that KITT would drive to meet up with Obi-Wan, Shriek, and Batman and that the Jolly Green Giant would appear at the Wells Fargo building.
Madden: WOW�I still don�t get it, but on we go.
RJ: Indy and KITT have arrived to the other 3 competitors, minds have joined together and another alliance is born: the Knight Group.
Mr. Statistics: Very cleaver! Obi-Wan is a Jedi Knight, Batman is the Dark Knight, KITT is the Knight Industries Two Thousand, and what about the other two?
Mr. Obvious: Indiana Jones was described as a knight after finding the Holy Grail and Shriek, a giant spider, is a creature of the night�a slight stretch, but it works.
RJ: Well, now that we have that under control. We see that the Jolly Green Giant (JGG), Hiro , and Gandalf have banded together and are heading to the far Northwest corner to meet up with the Knight Group. It appears that KITT is giving a report.
KITT: There are three other competitors besides we here gathered: the immortal Macbeth, the gremlin Stripe, and the Invisible Man. He might hide from sight but not his own body heat.
Hiro: Macbeth was following us as we headed here�he should be coming soon.
RJ: It looks like Shriek and Obi-Wan and Gandalf are heading to fight Macbeth. The others stay and discuss how to fight a spawning gremlin and an unseen Rumbler.
Madden: Speaking of them, they are both in the park. Stripe must have found water in the Tabernacle. He has a new batch of gremlins and the Invisible Man must have gotten tired of staying on top of the office building when all the action left him.
Tolkien: When the gremlins got close enough, they could smell him and attacked. And as the next Rumbler is set to come in we see the rest of the Knight Group and Hiro turning the corner of 100 West and Center heading their way.

RECAP: So Obi-Wan, Shriek, and Gandalf are heading off Macbeth on 100 North; Batman, Hiro, KITT, Indian Jones and the JGG are coming up to the fighting Stripe with gremlins and the Invisible Man

Alexander Wrote:
<FLASH!>
And the new contender smashes into the pavement with tremendous force! Behold, it it Thor, the Norse God of Thunder! The pavement has been smashed into a million pieces underneath him, both because of his godly muscle mass and his powerful hammer Mjolnir.
"You there!" he bellows to the nearby "Knights" team, "Stop and tell me what's going on!" Preoccupied with their task, the Knights ignore Thor and prepare to move past him. "Don't you listen when a God SPEAKS?" Thor roars. In one fell swoop, he smashes Mjolnir into everything he can reach. This includes KITT's hood (now located about three feet underneath where the asphalt under the car had been only moments before) and the Jolly Green Giant's head (Thor is quite tall but he still has to jump in order to reach JGG). With KITT's hood all dented up and his engine half-smashed into oblivion, and the JGG lying dead with a fractured skull, Indiana Jones, Hiro Nakamura, and Batman exit KITT in order to confront their Uber-powerful assailant. Thor roars again and prepares to smash someone else's face. Mjolnir'd!
Meanwhile, as Obi-Wan, Gandalf and Shriek pursue Macbeth, they are interrupted by a flash of light.
<FLASH!>
"I am Kerrigan! The Queen of Blades! Lady of the Zerg!" screams the newcomer. It's Sarah Kerrigan, former Terran assassin, now transformed into the malicious, incredibly powerful and near-immortal Queen of the Zerg. She unleashes a powerful psionic storm upon her foes, rendering the giant spider and Jedi unconscious. The Istari wizard is protected somewhat by a crystalline sphere he conjures at the last second to protect himself.
The Invisible Man continues to grapple with Stripe and his insidious gremlin progeny, who are guided by scent alone. He has survived thus far but is tiring.
Meanwhile, Macbeth has used the arrival of Kerrigan to escape his pursuers. He has moved to a high perch atop one of downtown Provo's buildings. Smiling to himself, he takes aim with his gun and fires... killing someone. Who is it? Find out next time on the Rumble!

Summary: The Jolly Green Giant is quite dead, Thor's hammer having crushed his skull. KITT is still "alive" but is crippled, his engine half-destroyed; it is doubtful he will be of much use unless he can somehow be repaired. Indiana Jones, Hiro Nakamura and Bruce "Batman" Wayne are now confronting the indomitable Thor in the middle of the ruined street. Shriek and Obi-Wan are lying unconscious from Kerrigan's powerful psionic storm (were they not already quite powerful beings they would both already be dead), and Gandalf the White is protected by his crystalline sphere and prepared to lay down the smack with some serious Glamdring action. The Invisible Man is fighting Stripe and the gremlins but is tiring, and someone, one of the contenders above, has just been shot in the throat by the perfidious Macbeth!

Robert Wrote:
I will have very limited email access for the next six weeks. Could you skip me until mid June?

Brian Wrote:
Ok. Well let's continue then.
<Flash>
Announcers (Not all but several): Wait, who got shot?
All right, first the shot. MacBeth's bullet tore through the throat of Thor. Indiana, Hiro, and Bruce breathe a collective sigh of relief.
Stan Lee: Hah! But see?! Thor's not dead! He just stood back up!
Madden: But how? The guy's got a huge hole through his neck, his head is barely hanging on!
Mark: I think I know the answer. Hearing a noise, Indiana, Hiro, and Bruce look behind them to see the Jolly Green Giant stand back up as well. His head is still a bloody mess with one eye sitting about where the Giant's Adam's apple should have been.
Lucas: That annoying purple dinosaur is back up and coming at them as well. What is this Night of the Living Dead?
Brian: No, but I think I know what's going on too. Look over at where Kerrigan and Gandalf are sparing off.
Lucas: Oh Yeah! Darth Maul is back too. He ignites his double bladed saber, and . . . oh man, I lose another guy though.
Tolkien: Hah! Maul dragged his saber across the unconscious Obi-Wan. Actually looks like your Sith Lord is barely able to walk. Is something wrong with him?
Stan Lee: I'd say, he's dead!
Mark: Oh, there he is. Look down in the parking garage in the south west corner of the arena. It's Coffin Shaker.
Brian: Oh, wait until he taps into the Lhurgoyf. Bringing that thing back to life will make it more powerful not that more people have died right?
Mark: Well, more deaths does make the Lhurgoyf more powerful, but Coffin Shaker can't tap into special abilities of the zombies he creates, they're just undead.
Brian: Oh. Still there's a few dead folks around.
Lucas (moaning): And so one of my dead characters killed one of my other characters!
Tolkien: Cheer up chap. You've still got more characters.
Lucas: Easy for you to say, your most powerful got to come in twice.
Madden: Speaking of which. Look who just joined in the battle between Gandalf and Kerrigan!
Tolkien: It can't be! Oh no!
Lucas: HaH! Now your character's going to kill himself!
Brian: Actually any kills really are credited to Coffin Shaker since he's controlling them.
Madden: So the living Gandalf thrusts Glamdring into Darth Maul, who shakes off the blow and swings his lightsaber at the wizard. Luckily Glamdring's magic protects it from being sliced by the lightsaber as he parries the blow.
Lucas: So why is Kerrigan taking advantage of this and killing Gandalf off?
Brian: Actually look closer. She is.
Lucas: She is? She . . . Oh, the other Gandalf.
Mark: Her attacks aren't doing much though. Just carving off small chunks of his corpse.
Lucas: Yeah, but Kerrigan will make it through eventually.
<Flash>
Walt Disney: Ooh. It's one of my characters.
Robert Lewis Stevenson: Hardly, the company you founded before your death, ripped off my character.
Brian: Ok, quit fighting you two. Walt, you can't claim him, you were long dead. Robert, you can't fully claim him either this Capt. Silver is a cyborg. He appears behind Hiro, Batman, and Indiana next to KITT. For the moment he's unnoticed so he flips his cyborg arm and starts to tinker with the car.
Madden: Meanwhile the Invisible Man has begun to notice that the Gremlins are going to overwhelm him. Seeing this he takes the wise course and retreats to higher ground.
Mark: Back on the street everyone is now fighting one or another of Coffin Shaker's zombies. But MacBeth is above them, with a gun. Why isn't he shooting someone else.
Brian: He is also fighting a zombie. Zonkey Kong. Who Godzilla killed was also in the area and able to climb up to MacBeth's perch. And time flies when you're fighting for your life. Here's the flash of light with our next character.

So, MacBeth and Zombie Kong battle on the roof of one of the buildings West of University. Gandalf the White fights Darth Zombie Maul. Kerrigan fights Gandalf the Grey Zombie. Batman, Hiro, and Indiana Jones are confronted by the zombies of Thor and the Jolly Green Giant. Shriek was lucky to be missed by Maul's lightsaber and is now beginning to come too. John Silver is attempting repairs on KITT. The Invisible Man is climbing onto the roof of Ottavio's on the north side of West Center Street, and Stripe and the other Gremlins are spreading like mad.

Read On!