| Rumble 2008 Contestants! Mark Ailshie � Selecting: 1 MacBeth, 2 Incredible Hulk R.J. Harris � Selecting: 1 Wolverine, 2 Han Solo Alexander Strub - Selecting: 1 Darth Revan, 2 Pheonix (aka Jean Grey) Robert Newell - Selecting: 1 Vin the Allomancer, 2 Mat Cauthon Brian Ailshie � Selecting: 1 Peter Petrelli, 2 Duncan McLeod Brian Ailshie wrote: ***Pomp and Circumstance begins playing*** Loud Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce to you Our President, Brian Ailshie. Founder of Fantastic Fighting Inc. (Applause) I am also pleased to announce the Vice-Presidents; charter member Mark Ailshie and new Vice President RJ Harris!. (Applause) Ladies and Gentlemen, Our Hosts! (More Applause) Our five distinguished guests are joined by many sportscasters, announcers, commentators, and other speakers who will help to give us all the details of this great Event, RUMBLE ROYAL 2008!!! (Deafening applause) Ladies and gentlemen . . . LLLLLLLLLLLETS GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JRR Tolkien: All Right! Lets get this started! That last competition was interesting but it's time to move on. George Lucas: HA!! You only say that because I won, and you didn't even place! My creations will dominate again this year. Tolkien: I think not, but don't get us ejected again, over you cryin' when Gandalf crushes you're puny Jedi. Mr. Statistics: Actually, the numbers say that though you two's folks dominate in Tournament play, Paksenarrion is the hands down favorite in Rumbles. In fact . . . Brian: Sorry to interrupt guys, but we're about to start this! Mr. Madden would you like to do the honors of starting us off again? John Madden: As always, it will be my pleasure Mr. President. Brian: Please, call me Brian. Madden: Yes Sir. Well, The sparks are beginning to build in front of the County Building. Bolts of lightning tendril along the steps of the building. **FLASH** And here is the first of our starters for this year's Rumble Royal. It's Darth Vader. He immediately ignites his infamous red lightsaber. **FLASH** And over in beyond the Wells Fargo building is Magneto. He stretches his hands out and floats to the top of the building . **FLASH** Look over in the Parking Garage! It's Rand al'Thor. **FLASH** And finally on the 12th floor of the NuSkin Building, appears Link, fourth place from the Masters Competition. The four competitors take stock of their surroundings for a few minutes and before you know it, it's time for our first NEW competitor. Who is it Mark? Mark Wrote: >FLASH< Mark: That was quick! Link heard the flash, he saw the shadow of the flash on the wall behind him, but by the time he could whirl to face the newcomer, it was already too late. Tolkien: Naturally! Shelob lashed out with a massive clawed foot and struck Link square in the chest, knocking the wind out of him. The Hero of Hyrule hit the ground, gasping for air, and the massive spider leaped upon him, ready to sting and devour. Mark: Luckily, Link has just enough presence of mind to drop a bomb. One second later, the blast blinds Shelob and makes her wail in pain. Unfortunately, the blast also knocks Link through a wall, and he falls 12 stories to the pavement of 100 West far below. Bones: He's dead, Jim. Michael Cole: Naw, He's not dead, but is knocked quite cold. When Shelob recovers her sight, she has no idea where her quarry has dissappeared to. Madden: Don't look like she cares neither. She begins spinning webs, making the Nu Skin building into a suitable lair. Mark: I expect she will not hunt unless she gets very, very hungry. She would prefer that her prey come to her. Lucas: Well, of course. She's a spider, after all. Meanwhile, Darth Vader has sensed a powerful tremor in the force, and begins striding west toward the Provo Tabernacle. Robert Jordan: Rand al'Thor is moving East, following a similar instinct. The two spot each other across the expanse of University Ave. Vader: "The 'Rand' boy that killed me before!" "The Black Sith," Rand snarls, as Lews Therrin begins to gibber in insane fear. Rand seeks the void, and Vader reaches out to the force. Mark: Rand weaves spirit and fire to try to cut Vader off from the source. He should know better than that. Since Vader is connected to the force at every cell, it is impossible to cut him off in the way Rand is familar with. Undaunted, Rand weaves Fire and Air to lash out with the One Power more traditionally. Lucas: Vader waves a hand, and Rand's firestorm stops within a few yards of Vader's position. The Sith lord reaches a hand toward him, and suddenly Rand feels his windpipe constricting. Jordan: That won't work! Rand forces off the attack. Lucas: Yes, but now Vader is using the force to toss parked cars at Rand, while closing toward him with his lightsaber. Soon, Rand may be unable to contend with being attacked on three different fronts. Mark: Meanwhile, Magneto detects the flying metal to the south of his position, and moves to investigate. >FLASH!< Mighty Mouse: HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAAAAYYYY!! Mark: A tiny red blur slams into Magneto's face, punching and kicking. The mutant is momentarily taken aback, and Mighty Mouse siezes him by the nostrils, whipping him over his shoulder and propelling him into Allen's Photography shop. Barf: Ooh! That'll leave a mark! Stan Lee: Nay, tru believers! Magneto shakes off the attack, seizes half a dozen metal objects in the area and launches them like a shotgun blast at his miniscule opponent. Mark: But Mighty Mouse evades the metal easily and charges again! MM: HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAAAAYYY!! Mark: Magneto tries to dodge, but his metal-manipulation isn't much use against a mouse that never uses any weapons. Magneto is a bit off his game. Madden: But he's pretty sure to recover his edge shortly, Mr. Ailshie. Ya' can't count Magneto down for long. Mark: That's one thing we can count on. Looks like a new challenger will be appearing....NOW! [So Link is liying half unconscious on 100 West, Rand and Darth Vader are fighting on the south part of University, Magneto and Mighty Mouse are fighting on the north part of the same street, and Shelob is building her lair inside the NuSkin building. RJ Wrote: *FLASH!* RJ: It is Lady Jessica. Another of our top placers ion the Rumble Rodeo. Mr. Statistics: She tied for 5th with Spiderman and Lord Voldemort. Oh so close. RJ: She appears on the steps of the Pioneer Era edifice known as the Provo Tabernacle. Both Rand and Vader stop their battle mid stride as she glides over to them. She speaks to each with the Voice. Mr. Obvious: I don�t think that is going to win her much against these two. But Madden is drooling. Madden: Am not! It�s just that she is so�.pretty. RJ: Anyway, Mr. O is correct, as always. Vader, ever strong in the Force, repels her Voice with near ease. Comic Book Guy: Rand, seeing this as a chance to unite with a strong (and smoking hot ally) obeys her Voice to follow. Vader does not for his attention is to the flash of light that has come across the street at the Mexican restaurant. Someone id there. And Vader knows he must not disobey his Master. *FLASH!* Mr. Obvious: Well it looks like the Dark Lord Sidious, aka Emperor Palpatine, has entered this year�s Rumble. With two of the Sith in the fighting so early on, I am sure that the body count will rise. Vader: What is thy bidding, my Master? Palpatine: There is a great disturbance in the Force. I do not plan to lose this Rumble�gather all of the forces of Evil here to this�quaint cantina. Here we will build up an army to destroy all the Jedi and those who fight with them. Begin with the one named Magneto. RJ: So as Vader goes off to find Magneto, Rand and Lady Jessica happen to come across an awakening Link. Lady Jessica: If he fights, you must protect me Rand. Rand: Yes, My Lady. Madden: Boy he plays dumb well. Almost as good� Tolkien: As you do. (Lucas laughs.) Madden: I was going to say�oh never mind. Anyway, Link jumps up from the floor and spots Rand. He decides that he must fight for the Lady. RJ: And as we near the end here and get ready for another competitor, we find Mighty Mouse and Magneto still battling it out in downtown Provo. Vader is on his way there. Meanwhile Rand and Link are now throwing specialized spells at each other at the corner of 100 West and Center Street. Lady Jessica looks on. Shelob is very comfortable in her Nu Skin nest and Palpatine sits and waits in the restaurant. Mr. Obvious: We go to Alexander with the next flash of light! Alexander Wrote: <FLASH!> Alexander: Out of the mysterious light appears a being of consummate shadow. Mouth of Sauron: It is the Dark Lord's Heir, the Witch-king of Angmar! Alexander: The Lord of the Nazgul has his arsenal of nasty looking weapons, including his gigantic morning star-headed flail, his two-handed sword (wielded one-handed, of course) and of course, the dreaded Morgul Blade. Mouth of Sauron: Behold! The great Er-Murazor, Black Numenorean King of Angmar, has appeared in the midst of a great battle! Alexander: That's right, the Witch-king has appeared right in the middle of the skirmish between Rand al-Thor, Lady Jessica and Link. Oh, dear. I can tell that this is going to get really messy, really quickly. J.R.R. Tolkien: The Lord of Angmar first lashes out with the morning star in his left hand, shattering Link's shield... and shield arm. Alexander: He uses the momentum from his attack on Link to parry Rand's sword thrust, meeting the Dragon's blade with his own, right handed. Tolkien: The Lady Jessica attempts to penetrate his mind with the Voice, but... Alexander: But entering the mind of a Nazgul is a very bad idea. Mouth of Sauron: The foolish wench is beset with the Black Breath! So shall all the Dark Lord's enemies suffer! Alexander: Jessica's failed psychic assault has rendered her catatonic on the ground. In the meantime, the Witch-king strikes at Rand with a shriek. George Lucas: And at this very moment, Darth Vader has arrived at the Mighty Mouse/Magneto battle in Downtown Provo. A well-placed Force Wave sends the unaware Magneto flying into a wall, while Vader lays the Force Choke down on Mighty Mouse. Stan Lee: Hey, that's not fair! You wait until Magneto recovers... his metal manipulation mutation will allow him to turn your Sith Lord's armor suit into scrap metal! George Lucas: Well, first he has to pick himself out of a brick wall. Ha! Alexander: And, all of a sudden, we see another... <FLASH!> Alexander: The newcomer is High Executor Tassadar, the Twilight Messiah of the Protoss Templar and my personal favorite character from the StarCraft legendarium. Chris Metzen: Tassadar has appeared in the NuSkin building, where... J.R.R. Tolkien: Oh, bad luck! He's in the middle of Shelob's den. Bad luck, old chap. There's no way your character can survive. Chris Metzen: Hmph. Tassadar surveys the den of evil and says: Tassadar: Foul creature! Your continued existence is an atrocity! I shall vanquish you in the name of the Protoss! En Taro Adun! Chris Metzen: Tassadar summons forth his strength of will in a psychic attack, which takes form as a terrible psionic storm. Tolkien: What?! Metzen: Shelob explodes immediately in a blast of spider guts and venom. Alexander: Eww! Gross. That'll take some heavy duty cleaning to get out. Metzen: First blood! And he didn't even have to activate his arm-mounted psi blades. Tolkien: You'll see, my Witch-king will finish him. Metzen: We shall see. Alexander: Tassadar's personal plasma energy shield absorbed the explosion easily, protecting him from all harm. The Protoss Templar moved at lightning speed from the NuSkin building, seeking more evil to vanquish. John Madden: He, he, he moves faster so he'll get there quicker! Sure is fast. Look at him go! Alexander; An astute observation, Mr. Madden. Ahem. Now if I can be free from interruption, I shall sum up the current state of the Rumble. At the Corner of 100 West and Center Street, Rand al'Thor and the Witch-king of Angmar are engaged in a deadly duel. Link is nursing his newly broken arm, and Lady Jessica is unconscious on the ground, suffering from the Black Breath. In Downtown Provo, Darth Vader is strangling Mighty Mouse with Force Choke, while Magneto is still out cold on the other side of a brick wall that Vader threw him through. Tassadar is heading in that direction. Bits of Shelob are all over the NuSkin buildiing, and Emperor Palpatine is still sitting in the Los Hermanos mexican restaurant, plotting and scheming while Vader does all the dirty work, as usual. And with that, the Rumble passes on to Robert. <FLASH!> Robert Wrote: <FLASH> Robert: Enough of darkness, here come a Champion of Light! Elizabeth Moon: Paksenarrion Dorthansdottr appears in front of Los Hermanos. She can feel palpable waves of evil emanating from Palpatine. Ready to do her sworn duty, Paks enters the restaurant. Robert: Palapatine is trying to smooth talk his way out of this confrontation, going into full politician mode. George Lucas: Ha! Palpatine fooled Jedi, this paladin has no chance of piercing his treachery. Robert: The Force was clouded when he did that, but Paksenarrion isn't fooled by Palpatine's parlor tricks. She draws her sword and charges. JRR Tolkien: Palpatine looks like he is charging up his Force lightning... and he fires! Elizabeth Moon: And Paks deflects the blast with a shield made of Light! Robert: Nothing left in her path, Paksenarrion skewers the sith lord on her blade. He explodes in a vortex of Dark Force energy, blasting Paksenarrion out into the field next to the Tabernacle. Her sword is under a car parked on the street, but she can't find it as she shakes off the effects of the explosion. Chris Metzen: Tassadar feels the release of Dark energy from the lobby of the NuSkin building and leaves to investigate it. Robert: Tassadar sees the shaken Terran and moves to speak with her. Paksenarrion senses no evil from him, so she lets him approach. Meanwhile... Shigeryu Miyamoto: (Translated from Japanese) "Link has fled the confrontation, donning his invisibility cloak and drinking a red potion. Not looking where he was going, he tripped over the hilt of a sword" Robert: Link found Paksenarrion's sword. He lost the Master Sword when he was thrown from the NuSkin building, but he is armed again. He continues across University Avenue under his cloak. Robert Jordan: Rand and The Witchking are dueling each other to a standstill. The Witchking is stronger, but Rand is faster. For the moment there is a stalemate. Rand is going to tire before the ringwraith though. Why isn't he using the Power on that monstrosity? JRR Tolkien: Ha! no man can kill the Witchking. Rand is definitely a man. The Power would be... powerless! So George, what is Anakin up to now? George Lucas: That name no langer has any meaning to him. Vader is still trying to strangle Mighty Mouse. Why won't it die?! Robert: He's a toon, he doesn't need to breathe. He is being held from punching anyone else in the face though. Speaking of toons... <FLASH> Walt Disney: The Genie appears, driving a car down University Avenue. He rolls down the window at the corner of Center and University and leans his head out the window, "I'm late... did I miss something?" (This is the semi-phenomenal, nearly-cosmic freed Genie) So to recap: Paksenarrion (now without a sword) is talking to Tassadar in the park next to the Tabernacle, both trying to figure out what that blast of energy was all about. Link (newly healed and with Paksenarrion's sword) is sneaking east across University Avenue under his cloak of invisibility. Darth Vader is standing in front of Maestro's Gelatto, vainly trying to choke Might Mouse, but holding him fast. Magneto has been thrown through the wall, into Maestro's and is unconscious. Rand and the Witchking are ferociously dueling on the corner of Center and 100 West. The Genie is hanging his head out of a car looking at the carnage at the corner of Center and University Avenue. Brian Wrote: <Flash> WHAAAPPP! Lucas: What was that! Madden: Our new contestant just appeared next to Vader. Since he appeared in a flash, Vader didn't really see him, so the guy swung a mop and hit Vader upside the head. Vader slumps over and the guy hits Vader in the chest with the wet end of his mop. Tolkien: Vader's body armor sparks a bit. This might be the end of your 2nd guy George. . . HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!!! Madden: And Mighty Mouse flies in and attacks the guy. Why's he doing that? The guy saved him, and now he attacks him? What's that about? Mr. Obvious: More importantly, who is the guy anyway? He's tall, muscular, and bald with a white t-shirt and an earing. Anybody recognize him? Brian: OH!! It's Mr. Clean. From the commercials. I guess he's here to clean up this mess. Everyone: UUGHHGH! No puns Brian! Brian: Sorry. Anyway, Mr. Clean is swinging his mop at Mighty Mouse as the mouse flies in and out punching at him. And he connects! Tolkien: But as Robert said, Toons don't need to breathe, so he can't be taken out as easily as George's black knight. Robert: True, but Toons are made of ink. As Mr. Clean holds his mop against the wall, Mighty Mouse between the two, the ink starts to run. Madden: And soon, Mighty Mouse is just a smear of ink on the wall. Mr. Clean turns back to the Sith Lord. Lucas: Ha! Vader has caught his breathe, and slipped away to repair his life support! Brian: Meanwhile Paksenarrion and Tassadar have noticed Rand fighting with the Witch King. The Witch King sees the gleaming female Paladin and flees. Paks gives chase. Robert Jordan: Rand sees Tassadar and shouts "A Trolloc" and attacks. <Flash> Stan Lee: Elsewhere a new competitor has arrived. It's Sabertooth. He appears on the top of the Wells Fargo building. He leaps from the building, catches a few windows to slow his downward progress, then steps through the hole in the wall on Maestro's. Seeing Magneto, he scoops him up, kicks out the back door and moves toward the parking garage there. Robert Jordan: Back at the corner of Center and 100 West Rand attacks with death gates. Tassadar is sliced to ribbons by the opening of the moving gates. Mr. Statistics: And there goes our fourth fatality, and yet our starting four are still going strong. R. Jordan: Rand then moves back south and kneels over the fast fading Lady Jessica. He's not adept at healing, but he does what he can for her. Walt Disney: In the middle of the arena the Genie is still looking around. He seems to have hit something with his car and is trying to figure out what. Shigeryu Miyamoto: (translated from Japanese) Link silently curses his bad luck and crawls to the end of the road, his leg now broken. He pulls his now blue potion and drinks it down as well. Disney: That muscle headed cleaner approaches Genie as we get our next warrior. So; Genie and Mr. Clean are about to start fighting in the intersection of University and Center. Link is nearby on the curb, still under his invisibility cloak. Rand and Lady Jessica are west of the NuSkin building on 100 West. Paksenarrion and the Witchking are running through the parking garage on the north side of 100 West. Sabertooth and Magneto are now in the Parking Garage east of the Wells Fargo building. Lastly Vader is inside Allen's Photography finishing up the repairs on his life support system. ROUND 2 Mark Wrote: >>>FLASH!!<<< >>>CRASH! CRASH! FLASH! CRASH!<<< C-3PO: Isn't that a few too many flashes of light? Madden: Well most of them are coming from this six-foot yellow tornado that appeared on the south side of University, and is zipping up towards Center street. Genie, Clean, and Link stare slack-jawed and buggy-eyed until the tornado stops abruptly to reveal... The Mask: And now, it's time for everyone's favorite game show, "Who's Gettin' their Butt Kicked Today?" I'm your host, Slopey McLoose-Bottom, and lets see who are our contestants. Genie: Hey, you're doing MY shtick! Madden: The Genie changes immediately into a blue version of the Mask, and starts imitating him. The Mask looks at the audience and states... Mask: Don't panic, folks, I can handle this. So, Blue-Goon, welcome to the show! Tell our audience what you do for a living when you're NOT trying to pull a tree out of your throat? Madden: Genie opens his mouth, but before he can answer, The Mask picks him up and stuffs him upside down onto one of the trees that line Center street. Mr. Clean leaps at the Mask, swinging his mop. The Mask dodges and retreats backward. The Mask: Very admirable, to try to clean up this filthy rumble. There's a lot of sleazy characters around here. For example... Madden: The Mask pulls out a beret, a painter's board, and several brushes out of his pants, and begins painting a four foot moustache on Mr. Clean's face. Amazingly, the paint hangs in mid air. Mask: Oh, look Baldy! For shame! Your face, it is dirty! Here, wash up a bit! C-3PO: Oh dear, oh dear! The Mask has thrown Mr. Clean into the fountain in front of the Provo City Offices, and has used his paint brush to draw a large flushing handle on the side of the pool. He pulls the lever, and Mr. Clean is sucked down into a sewer. Judges: We rule he is eliminated. Mask: You were good, kid, real good. But as long as I'm here, you'll always be second best, see? >FLASH< Madden: BOOM! that was quick! We didn't even get to tell you what everyone else is doing! Let's see it on instant replay... Guxx Unfufadoo: Guxx Unfufadoo, Rhyming Demon, has no time for instant replay. Thinks you should get on with rumble. Thinks you make the turn too long. C-3PO: But, sir, you didn't rhyme... Madden: As I was saying, Vader has repaired his suit and is heading this way (north) on University Ave. Sabertooth has awakened Magneto, and the two of them are heading west on 100 North. BAM! Tough actin' tinactin, they might end up meeting each other soon! Guxx: Guxx Unfufadoo, Patient Demon, has had enough with all this blather. Wants to talk about who the flash was, thinks you might be getting eaten. Madden: All right, you big bully, I'm getting on with it. The flash brought a half-shaven man wearing a long jacket and a baseball cap. He appears just north of Center on 100 West. Rand and Jessica see him appear - oh, did I mention Jessica is up and active again? C-3PO:No. Madden: Jessica is up and active again. They see the man appear, and Rand instantly weaves a fiery sword to defend his female companion from any harm. The newcomer throws his hands up to defend himself. Jessica: No need for that. <using the voice>: Tell us who you are. Sylar: My name is Gabriel Grey. Madden: BOOM! but before they can answer, a huge explosion rocks the arena from the parking garage to the north. J.R.R. Tolkien: Not so much an explosion as a rush of wind. It seems Paksennarion has caught up to the Witch King and dispatched him. The force of the blast smashes the windows of half the buildings on Center street. Rand and Lady Jessica run toward the Parking Garage, to try to make sure Paks is okay. Frank Herbert: Well, maybe that's what RAND is planning on. Lady Jessica recognizes in Paks a formidable opponent, and is likely planning on jumping the paladin while she is still weak. Madden: Sylar stays back, contemplating the pair that has just left. Sylar: What an interesting ability. Just like that Eden woman. And that boy with the sword... That could be useful... C-3PO: Now Sylar turns and looks toward Center street, an odd look on his face. Sylar: I can hear you. I can hear your heart beating. Madden: Link steps carefully away from the curb where he has been standing and watching. He takes out his boomerang whips it at Sylar, but with a casual wave of his hand, Sylar stops the projectile, and lets it fall lifeless to the ground. Sylar: My turn. C-3PO: Oh no! Sylar uses his telekenisis to cause the shards of glass to hover in mid-air all around him, and then suddenly shoots them out in all directions. Unluckily for Link, one strikes him in the throat, and Zelda's hero gurgles and dies. Sylar pulls off Link's cloak and examines the body. Sylar: Hmm. Nothing special in the brain. But an awful lot of neat toys. Thanks, my pointy-eared friend. Madden: Sylar dons Link's cloak and takes a few of his choicer weapons before heading back up the street, following Rand and Jessica. (So, Rand and Jessica are meeting Paks, just outside the parking garage. Vader is heading North on Univ. Ave, about to meet Magneto and Sabertooth, heading West on 100 North. Sylar is at the corner of Center and 100 West, about to follow Rand and Jessica. The Genie is still pulling pine needles out of his teeth on Center Street and The Mask is near the pool in front of the Provo Town Offices. RJ Wrote: *FLASH* RJ: Our new Rumbler has appeared at 100 West 100 South. He sees Sylar and shouts: �Come over here!� R2D2: BEEB BOP BREE BOP C3PO: You are quite right R2. It is the demon Scorpion from Mortal Kombat. He has thrown out his spear to Sylar. It appears that the �hero� is smiling. Sylar: That�s nice. Mr. Obvious: He stops the projectile in mid air, inches from his chest. Sylar: We need to play nice here! Why don�t you just come over here is you want to chat! RJ: Sylar uses his telekinesis to pull Scorpion over to him. He takes Scorpion�s own spear and plunges it into the MK image over and over. Madden: It is kind of like Scorpion has become Sylar�s personal pincushion. Mr. Obvious: Well that�s another Fatality. Mr. Statistics: Sylar is now tied with Paks for the most kills with two. RJ: Meanwhile, two more of our First Four have final met. Vader and Magneto see each other through the windows of the Wells Fargo Bank. A serious battle is about to begin. R2D2: BREEP POOB BREE BEEP RJ: Well your right R2, as usual. It appears that 5 minutes is gone and another competitor is about to enter the fray. *FLASH* Madden: That guy looks familiar. Have we seen him before? Mr. Obvious: Yup! That is Q, from STNG and other shows, books, etc. RJ: He has appeared at the south edge of the boundaries. He is there to see Paks awaken and Rand with Lady Jessica arrive. Q: Well is everyone here? No, oh well. We can get started anyway. No need to use your Voice on me Lady Jessica or your Power Rand�al. I am omniscient and know that there is just one in the Rumble now that we need to focus on fighting. He is known as Sylar, but you both have met him before. If you work together I might be persuaded to advise you. If not, enjoy dying by his hand. What say you? RJ: Sylar sees them meeting and retreats to the shadows. He head back north when he hears a series of large crashes. Where are they coming from? C3PO: Vader and Magneto. RJ: Oh yeah, I almost forgot them. For now, the �South Gathering� is discussing their options, so well head up to the North Border. Magneto: I see that you are more a machine than a man. How convenient�for me at least. Now up we go! Mr. Obvious: he has lifted Vader in the air and is tossing him around like a rag doll! George Lucas: Oh Vader won�t take much more of this. He concentrates all of the Force to lift Magneto up in the air too. He begins his famous Force choke as well. Stan Lee: Magneto doesn�t like that either. He starts to collapse all of the metal in Vader�s body. RJ: I don�t think that this will end well for either one. But right now we need to get back to Sylar. He has walked across the City Park and seen the Genie and the Mask engaged in some very cartoon-ish fighting. Throwing everything at each other�including the kitchen sink. He smiles again. Sylar: It looks like each of you need to cool off. Here, allow me to help. Madden: He moves a lot of water out of the fountain and splashes it down on the two Rumblers. Mr. Obvious: That makes, Genie�s color run and he washes away. One more kill for Sylar. RJ: What is worse is that the force of the water has washes off the mask from the Mask. He is now Stanley Ibkis and Sylar has the mask at his feet. Sylar: Well what is this? Madden: Oh I got a bad feeling about this. BOOM! RJ: Sure enough, Sylar has donned the mask and is now a heightened more evil version of himself. This just might change a lot, but that will have to wait until the next Rumble contestant enters�Right Now! (RECAP: So, Magneto and Vader are in their �last breath� battle, while Sabertooth looks on. Q has gathered Rand, Lady Jessica, and Paks 2 blocks south of their battle. Mask Sylar is demanding Stanley�s allegiance directly in between them) Alexander Wrote: The first thirty seconds of the match were eventful. Mask-Sylar decided that the whimpering, terrified Stanley Ibkis wasn't worth his energy and so he simply ripped his throat out in a very cartoony, almost Tim Burtonesque manner. Meanwhile, the quasi-omnipotent being Q had managed to rally Rand al'Thor, Paksenarrion, and the Lady Jessica, and the four of them had surrounded the evil Mask-Sylar. The strange mix of characters were preparing for the battle of their lives when they were all startled by a sudden and ever so slightly delayed... <FLASH!> "A new power is rising! Its victory... is AT HAND!" shouted the newcomer, who was none other than the fallen Istari, Saruman the White. The four onlookers dropped their jaws in awe as Saruman performed his attack in one fluid motion. "Lasto beth... nai yarvaxea rasselya!" he bellowed, while reaching out with one hand and telekinetically ripping the Mask off of Sylar's face and flinging it into the air, and at the same time raising his staff to the heavens with his other arm and summoning forth a magical thunderstorm. J.R.R. Tolkien: It's more of a blizzard. Robert Jordan: It's more of an apocalyptic, end-of-the-world type catastrophe -- there's big chunks of hail, huge bolts of white lightning, immense snow flurries, oh no way, there's giant balls of lightning too! How is it that your wizards always manage to pull off these kinds of stunts? J.R.R. Tolkien: It's called being a talented writer. Robert Jordan: Hey, I resemble that remark! The heroic foursome scrambled for cover while Sylar simply stood in his tracks, stunned at the utterly bizarre turn of events. Saruman ignored the evil murderer for the time being, getting caught up in the tremendous effort it took to expand his massive blizzard-storm. <FLASH!!!><BOOM!><POW!><ZAP!><BANG!><CRUNCH!><SIZZLE...> John Madden: Holy mama's meatballs! What was that sound? Stan Lee: Heh heh, that was the sound of the next contender flying into the battle with a flash of light, igniting her flame powers with a powerful nuclear explosion and flying straight through Sylar's and Saruman's torsos, the Lady Jessica simultaneously getting struck by chain and ball lightning, Darth Vader and Magneto crushing each other to death with their respective powers, and Sylar's and Saruman's bodies collapsing into bloody, partially incinerated fragments. John Madden: Holy cow! Who is that hot new arrival? "I...AM...PHOENIX!!!" Stan Lee: Does that answer your question? My emerald-clad Omega-level mutant just burned some serious butt! So, to recap: Sylar brutally killed the de-Masked Stanley Ibkis, and then he and Saruman were both blown away by Phoenix's flying fire, and Darth Vader and Magneto have crushed each other to death. Saruman's massive storm-blizzard creation remains, and Rand and Paks have taken shelter from the storm inside the Provo Tabernacle. Lady Jessica has been badly electrocuted by Saruman's lightning bolts, but she is still alive, if just barely. She is lying unconscious in the street, again. The magic Mask has landed under a bush, after being ripped off Sylar's face by Saruman's spell. Coincidentally, Q has taken shelter from Saruman's storm under the very same bush. Phoenix is standing unscathed over the bodies of Sylar and Saruman, only barely realizing that her fiery arrival was what incinerated both of them. Sabretooth is standing slack-jawed on the sidelines, having watched the whole battle in his typical manner, in other words, like a jibbering brute -- but he is nevertheless still completely unharmed (as yet). Alexander: Well, that was a horrifyingly chaotic 10 minutes. And now the Rumble passes on to Robert to make some sense out of this madness... Robert Wrote: Robert: Well, after all that carnage, most of the combatants are fleeing to regroup and/or hide. Sabertooth is now hiding out in the Provo City offices. He may look brutish, but he is smart enough to flee in the face of such power. Stan Lee: Sabertooth is a genius. Why, he might even be the smartest in the whole Brotherhood of... Cheerleader (Teen Girl Squad): Stop saying words! So anyways my galleons, which fighters are looking sooo goood! Robert: It looks like someone is coming... <FLASH> Robert Jordan: The lucky gambler, Mat Cauthon has entered the arena. Robert: That's one of my picks everyone, so remember. Brian, will you remind everyone the rules on picks when you get this. Robert Jordan: Mat sees the devastation and lets out a few choice words before scrambling into the tabernacle. Robert: And he sees Paksenarrion laying her hands on Rand. Elizabeth Moon: She is trying to heal him with her Holy Light. Robert: It looks like it worked, mostly. She couldn't fix the wound in his side, but all of his recent injuries are gone. His madness seems to have subsided a bit as well. Robert Jordan: Mat saw the healing and scratched his head. He'd never seen an Aes Sedai in armor with a sword before. Robert: The three of them start planning on how they will take out the Phoenix out in the street. Stan Lee: Except she isn't out in the street anymore. Robert: Nope, she sensed an enormous power near her and headed straight for the Mask. Jim Carrey: Except... this Q fellow got to it first. Robert: Who let him in here? <Pulls a lever, ejecting Jim Carrey from the announcers booth> Gene Roddenberry: Q recognized the Mask as an artifact he had made to taunt lesser races by giving them the Powers of a Q. He had gotten in so much trouble from the Continuum when he lost that. Rather than let it get out of his control again, he snapped his fingers to destroy it. Robert: Unfortunately for him, the Mask had gained strength since it had gone out of his possession. The Mask couldn't prevent it's own destruction, but it managed to open up a swirling vortex and Pull Q into it, banishing him from the Arena. George Lucas: That's another ring out, disqualification! <Flash> Robert: And our second new rumbler for this edition, Carnage enters the fray. His first move is to murder the helpless Lady Jessica in the street. Carnage is totally insane, so that is very in character for him. JRR Tolkien: It is about time, she's spent half the rumble unconscious anyway. Frank Herbert: Nooo! Why do my characters always lose?! Robert: Sorry, she was just outclassed. So, with all that, he is how we stand: Rand, Mat, and Paksenarrion are in the Tabernacle plotting Phoenix's demise. The Phoenix is in the bushes around the Tabernacle, wondering what just happened and where those powerful beings just disappeared to. Sabertooth is hiding in the Provo City offices. Carnage has gone over to the Utah County offices, just adjacent to the Provo City Offices. Brian Wrote: First off to answer Robert's "question" about the picks. Mat (and Phoenix too) is a #2 pick. So that meant that only Robert (Alexander in the case of Phoenix) could bring that character into the Rumble. The #1 picks have that same trait with the added bonus of being somewhat 'immortal' except during the writing time of the author who picked the character (only you can decide how your #1 pick dies) Anyway, here's what is happening in the arena now. Madden: Looks like Rand, Mat and Paks have decided something and are heading out the back door of the church. Mr. Precise: It's a tabernacle Madden: Whatever. Mat sees Phoenix and starts to casually walk toward her. Mat: Hey good looking! Whatcha' up to? Madden: Rand and Paks stealthily move away from Mat. They probably figure he's gone girl crazy again. And who can blame him, that Phoenix is HOT! Wayne: She's babe-alicous Garth: Makes me feel like when we climbed the rope in gym class . . . Stan Lee: Whatever, she isn't the least interested in Mat. At least not that way. More like a cat is interested in an annoying mouse. Tuon: A 'TOY' mouse that is! Ha! Robert Jordan: Funny, now be quiet my little creation. Rand has a plan I can sense it. Mat gets within a pace of the mutant at about the same time Rand and Paks get to even angles from her. Mat whips out his ashenderi at the same time as Rand and Paks lash out with their respective powers. For a moment Phoenix is bound by Rand's weave of air, Pak's beam of light hits Phoenix in the chest as Mat's ashenderi swipes her off feet. Stan Lee: But the weave of air only holds Jean for a moment. Her eyes flash red like fire and she hops to her feet. Her arms flex and spread as if physically breaking the bonds that held her. With a finger she flips Mat over the Tabernacle. Madden: Rand and Paks charge her from either side! Lee: But Phoenix turns and with a wave of her hand flips Rand through the park and into the front booths of Hickory Kist Deli. She turns east and jabs at Paks. Bye bye Paladin! Elizabeth Moon: Not so fast! Paks' power holds her on course for a moment longer. She swings her sword aiming to cleave the mutant from head to toe. Lee: But the blade stops! Quivering in the air it bursts backward and Paks goes with it. The paladin flies across the park and lands at the base of the NuSkin tower. Sir Isaac Newton: But to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The Mutant goes flying as well. Tolkien: And she hits the edge of Saruman's storm! Phoenix is launched all the way to the little parking lot at the North East corner of the arena. Madden: Her contact kills what's left of the storm with a bright flash. Lucas: That reminds me, who came in with the flash of light at the beginning of this block? *FLASH* Lucas: Or that one for that matter! Brian: Well there's the answer to your first question. Look at the base of the NuSkin building. Mario and Luigi: It's Donkey Kong! Brian: That's right. He picks up the paladin and starts to climb the building King Kong style. Lucas: So why can't we see the second fighter? Mr. Statistics: Remember the arena is almost a full quarter of a square mile. With two high rises in the mix. He could be anywhere. Mr. Camera Man: Got him. He's in the ventilation shaft of the Wells Fargo Bank tower. It's John McClane! Brian: It takes him a few minutes and several choice words to extricate himself from the heat duct. Meanwhile Donkey Kong has reached the roof of the other tower, Rand and Mat have awoken and mostly shook out the cobwebs from getting knocked silly. Sabertooth has found a break room and has broken open the candy machine. Carnage meanwhile is still slinking around in the county offices. ROUND 3 Mark Wrote: Rush Limbaugh: I don't see why John McCain should be touted as some kind of a hero when he's not a true conservative, what with the amnesty and the what have you... Eric D. Snider: Not John McCain, you bacon-scarfing, pill-popping, windbag! John MacLain, of feature films such as DieHard, DieHarder, DieHard with a Vengeance, Live Free or DieHard, Prince Charles and Princess Diehard, The DieHard is Cast, Diehardalysis, and of course, DieHard, DieHard, DieHard my Darling. William Shatner: And it looks like .... he's got some .... company! Leonard Nimoy: That's right, Bill, because that flash just brought a familar pasty-faced cybernetic entity that meets John MacLain coming out of the heating duct. 2nd of 5: We are the Borg. We will add your genetic distinctiveness to our own. Snider: The Borg reaches forweard with his nanite arm, but MacLain lets fly with his machine gun, screaming his trademarked phrase. John MacLain: Yippee-Kay-yay, Mother F*****!!! Madden: Boom! and the bullets rip through a few feet of pasty flesh before the borg's shield pops into place. Worf: They've adapted, captain. Shatner: Hey! Who let the Klingon on my ship! I Hate Klingons! I've never forgiven them for... >Eject< >Eject< Nimoy: In any case, Now John Maclain is trying to flee, leaping through plate glass windows, falling down flights of stairs, you know. Luckily, the borg isn't all that fast. Stan Lee: But he's sure tenacious, and you bet he won't give up. Never mind these two boobs. Lets see how the Marvelites are faring. Hmm. well Phoenix is still shaking off the cobwebs, and Carnage appears to be engaged in a violent shouting match with his own reflection. Hmm. Go figure. But Sabertooth is fed, and is now eager for more fighting. He leaps out of a window and leaps from the propvo offices to a nearby tree, looking for possible prey. Jordan: He's best look elsewhere, though. I see he's eying Mat Cauthon, who is still dangerous, even if he has lost his ashanderai. The dice are spinning in his head, and he groans in anticipation. Stan Lee: Well, it looks like Sabertooth considers Mat to be easy pickins, and he pounces on him from the tree above. Mat leaps aside at the last moment, but now Sabertooth leaps in and attacks, and Sabertooth is bigger, stronger, more ferocious than Mat, and that doesn't even add in his healing factor! Jordan: And he'll need it! Look how Mat whips out his daggers and goes to town! He has the experience swimming around in his swiss-cheesed memory of some twenty of the finest warriors of all time. Lee: But no decent weapons! Sabertooth catches one of the knives in the chest, pulls it out without concern and jumps to close range. Mat is giving up ground fast, retreating East on 100 South. It's just a matter of time before he rejoins the Wheel of Time. Jordan: Speaking of which, how has Rand been faring? Snider: It looks like he's been spending these minutes trying to use air and fire to coax Donkey Kong off the tower without hitting Paks. Paks doesn't seem afraid, but is quite unable to resist her much larger primate admirer. >>Flash<< Snider: Oh my. Madden: That could change things! Tazz: Now how are they going to fight something like that!! Godzilla: ROOOOOAAARRRR!!!!! Random Japanese guy: Ahh! Godzilla!! Rowdy Roddy Piper: Right you are, Chuck! A big ol' lizard just appeared at Center and University, and He's got the attention of everyone within eye shot! Bobby Heenan: That's just Rand, DK and Paks, you moron. Piper: Look, Boobsie, you leave the color commentary to me, 'kay? Godzilla sees Donkey Kong, thinks it might be his old enemy-slash-friend KING Kong, and steps forward. Jordan: Rand sees a threat and lashes out with the power! A blast of air weaved through with fire and spirit... Random Japanese Man: Ahhh! Godzilla!! Crow: Oh, good one, Rand! Now you got him mad! Piper: The big lizard swipes his tail through half the shops on Center street! Rand remembers to use that little earth-air shell he did before to protect himself. Shaken, he steps out of the rubble, weaves Balefire, and blasts it at Godzilla's face! Tom Servo: Big Greenie just ducks and the balefire makes a CLOUD disappear. Oh, boo, hoo! Now the hydrologic cycle is wiped out of existence! Crow: Well, Godzilla can make his own kind of fire, and suddenly there is a huge charred crater where Hickory Kist used to be, with the smoking remians of the Dragon Reborn at the bottom Tom Servo: Ever wonder why there aren't craters like that all over Japan? Piper: And Donkey Kong leaps like "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka and smashes against Godzilla's neck. The Godzilla is bigger, but DK's gonna give him a run for his money. And here comes the next competitor! <Godzilla and Donkey Kong are wrestling in the remains of the shops on the north side of Center street West (DK is winning for now). Paks is now stranded on top of the Nuskin Tower. John Maclain has reached the bottom of the Wells Fargo tower, and is about to exit the building. 2nd of 5 is at about the 3rd floor, still grimly stalking after MacLain (Maclain is winning). Phoenix has come to, and is floating south on 100 West. Mat and Sabertooth are fighting directly south of the Utah County offices (Sabertooth is winning), and Carnage is still inside a restroom in the Utah County Offices, arguing with himself in a mirror (Carnage is not winning)> RJ Wrote: *FLASH!* RJ: Here is our next competitor, appearing just north of Allen�s. He is shouting something in the direction of DK and Godzilla, while Maclain is running toward him. He�s saying �Ho! Ho! Ho! I�m gonna kill you all!� Mark: Oh no, not him again. Didn�t we banish him from Rumbles? Mr. Precise: Nope, just the commentator�s booth. It look�s like Not Santa has arrived to fight. Weird Al: Hey that guy is awesome. It reminds me of a song. (He starts singing a medley of �The Night Santa Went Crazy� and �Christmas at Ground Zero�) RJ: Well it looks like Maclain is going to fight the �Yuletide Rambo�, as soon as he gets there anyway. Did I mention that Not Santa has an Uzi? C3PO: No. RJ: Well he does, but he is too busy looking at the fight and firing at anything that moves. He takes out Donkey Kong and the large ape falls lifeless to the center of Center Street . Madden: It looks like the guy in the Santa outfit it taking aim at the big lizard when Maclain arrives and knocks him out cold with the butt of the machine gun. Mr. Obvious: Well, now Maclain has more weapons. RJ: In the scuffle though, the big lizard�I mean Godzilla was wounded. He staggers off back north where he meets up with the Borg. Godzilla: ROOOOAAARR! Japanese man: Ahh! Godzilla! (He says other stuff which is translated for convenience). He is slashing out at the Borg. Madden: Maclain doesn�t like the look of this. He heads south and across the street to the Mat-Sabertooth battle. He leaves Not Santa unconscious on the ground. Godzilla: ROOOOAAARR! 2nd of 5: Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. RJ: Godzilla manages to get one more roar away before he is taken into the Collective. Mr. Obvious: So, I guess Godzilla is gone and we have Borgzilla! RJ: Oh, ok. Maybe we can check what else is going on. Take it away Goldenrod. C3PO: I hate that name. Anyway, Paks is still looking for a way down from the NuSkin tower as she has lost her weapons and the doors seem to be locked. *FLASH!* RJ: Who did that bring in? C3PO: It appears to be a man, large in stature holding a very large broadsword. He is also on top of the NuSkin Building . I don�t believe I know him. Mr. Obvious: It�s Captain Moroni. I fearless Nephite general during the wars in the late century B.C. RJ: It appears that the flash of light has gotten lots of attention too. Phoenix starts to fly up to the top of the tower and the Borg (along with the assimilated Godzilla). Meanwhile, Mat is still not fairing well with Sabertooth. Maclain sees a fellow man in trouble and fires on what is surely a beast. Maclain: Take that you piece of ****! Madden: Sabertooth is down, but surely not out. The gunfire has gotten Carnage�s attention. He leaps out the County Offices and lands on top of Maclain. As they begin to fight, Mat joins in. Carnage is doing well considering he is outnumbered. How long will this battle last? Man, I wish I had some popcorn to watch this stuff. Oh look�Sabertooth is sneaking away to the restaurant Ottavio�s on Center and about 50 East, I guess he�ll live to fight another day. Mmmm�I am craving Italian now. RJ: (Sighs.) What else is going on as we get ready for another foe? C3PO: It looks like Phoenix , Paks and Captain Moroni have agreed to work together�after a bit of mediation from the Captain and the two former foes. Phoenix helps take Paks and Captain Moroni down from the NuSkin tower. Before the Borg realize that they might be a threat, they seek out a hideout. RJ: Captain Moroni points to the Tabernacle. Capt. Moroni: Well be safe if there. Trust me ladies. It is just a feeling I have. Mr. Statistics: I am sure Paks would like a rest�she has been fighting for nearly and hour and a half! Mr. Obvious: And another flash of light brings up to Alexander with� (RECAP: So, Donkey Kong is dead, Godzilla is assimilated, Sabertooth is in Ottavio�s. The Borg are in the park, yet unaware of the fierce Carnage-Mat-Maclain battle across the street from them between the County and City offices. Not Santa is unconscious in the University-Center intersection. And Paks, Captain Moroni, and Phoenix are in the Tabernacle hiding and regrouping for the moment. What is next for these 10 fighters?) Alexander Wrote: <FLASH!> John Madden: Those flashes of light are... are... they're what brings in the new guys! Ha ha ha! The Mouth of Sauron: My master, Sauron the Great, bids thee welcome! J.R.R. Tolkien: I think you may have that a bit mixed up. You mean "Bid welcome to my master, Sauron the Great!" Gene Roddenberry: Wha? I thought we were steering away from those quasi-omnipotent being types! J.R.R. Tolkien: Well, the entity known as "Q," your paltry attempt at a quasi-omnipotent being, has already been included, and thoroughly trounced I might add. So has Walt Disney's "Genie," if you remember, the one with supposed "semi-phenomenal, nearly cosmic power." Gene Roddenberry: Yeah, but... J.R.R. Tolkien: Beat that with a stick! At that moment, the avatar of Sauron entered the park, taking colossal strides, heavily armored, armed with an enormous mace, and bearing the One Ring of Power upon his finger. Borgzilla gave a flat, monotone sounding roar. John Madden: That must be... must be him tryin' to say "Resistance is Futile." Doesn't have good vocal chords for talkin.' With one swing of his tremendous mace, Sauron sends Borgzilla flying. The giant cyborg dinosaur crash-lands in the Nuskin Tower, which mostly collapses from the impact, directly on top of Borgzilla. Japanese Man: Aaah! The smoldering ruins of the great structure shall forever be Godzilla's tomb! Ah, so. Having squished the other Borg drone underfoot, Sauron attempts to bring down the Provo Tabernacle with his mace, but strangely, his attacks seem to rebound against him with as much power as he exerts. That is not to say that Moroni, Paksenarrion, and Phoenix cannot hear the terrible noise of Sauron's furious onslaught. Despite the warnings of her comrades, Phoenix resolves to defeat the terrible evil. She knows that she alone of the current combatants has the power to defeat Sauron. She bursts through the doors of the Tabernacle, striking a heroic pose mid-air... but Sauron is nowhere to be seen. Since his attacks were surprisingly futile, Sauron decided not to waste his energy. He crossed the street to face the three combatants battling between the government offices. Carnage's evil symbiote sensed Sauron first, and realized just how powerful and evil Sauron was. It ripped itself away from Cletus Kasidy's body in the hopes of finding a place to hide out the Dark Lord's presence in the Rumble. In the meantime, the insane Kasidy attacks Sauron! Sauron picks up Kasidy and squeezes him in his arcane grasp. The madman is incinerated, and the Dark Lord grinds his ashes into powder and scatters them to the winds. John McClane next steps forward, intending to go out fighting, rather than run. "Yabba-dabba-doo, mother-f*** you!" shouts McClane, his guns blaring, while the profanity is bleeped out by the Rumble censors. (You have the famous Bruce Willis-Jon Stewart interview to thank for that particular line.) Sauron knocks him aside like a ragdoll, and McClane slams through a wall in the County Offices, as dead as Elendil. While Sauron raises his mace to strike Mat Cauthon, the dice start to rattle in Mat's head again and then... ...The ground gives way beneath Mat's feet! He plummets into the Provo sewers with a splash. Apparently the cheap immigrant labor employed by the city to work down there did a very poor job stabilizing their work. Mat is shaken but otherwise unharmed. And at that instant, Phoenix arrives on the spot to combat Sauron the Abhorrent, Faithless and Accursed. "I am PHOENIX!!!" she cries, while a giant, flaming phoenix-shaped aura seems to form around her. Without delay, she flies herself directly into Sauron, and the impact causes a massive explosion of thermo-nuclear proportions. Both the Dark Lord and Jean Grey are slain -- she sacrificed herself to save her friends as usual. With that great battle over, the fate of the Rumble takes a new turn... <FLASH!!!> A new contender emerges from the huge crater now existing between the two government buildings. "I... AM... PHOENIX!!!" she screams. The Phoenix Force has resurrected Jean Grey (per usual) as Dark Phoenix. Her emerald green outfit now changed to crimson red, Jean's eyes now burn with fiery hatred -- and she bears the One Ring of Sauron upon her finger! Summary: Dark Phoenix is between the government buildings. Mat is safe underground, though the blast of Sauron's and Jean's mutual demise exploded deep into the ground. Mat can now see a light at the end of the sewer tunnel which leads into the side of the smoking crater. Not Santa has lain comatose in the intersection for the whole fight. He remains thus. Sabretooth watched the whole thing slack-jawed (like the gibbering brute he is) from the inside of Ottavio's. The Carnage symbiote has just arrived there, drawn by the smell of smoking, chipotle-flavored meat. Captain Moroni and Paksenarrion are still safe inside the Provo Tabernacle, and remain unaware of the recent events. These six contenders (and the Carnage symbiote) are all that remain alive. Robert Wrote: Robert: Wow, the carnage has been incredible... sorry Stan. Stan Lee: No problem, the pun is usually intended. Robert: Speaking of Carnage, what is the symbiote up to? Stan Lee: With Cletus Kassady dead, Carnage needs to find another host... and it looks like he has. Robert: The Carnage symbiote has merged with the stunned Sabertooth. The fusion has driven the mutant absolutely insane. <FLASH> Robert: What is this? A new combatant has arrived. It is Marvel anti-hero The Punisher. Stan Lee: And it looks like he recognizes not-Santa. ouch, that had to hurt. Robert: Apparently, The Punisher felt application of vigilante justice was appropriate. Not-Santa has been blown into small pieces. John Madden: I think that this guy always feels vigilante justice is appropriate Robert: Anyway, the Punisher goes off looking for more guilty people. In the meantime, Captain Moroni and Paksenarrion are hiding out in the Tabernacle when... <FLASH> Robert: The heroic He-man steps into the room, eager to battle the forces of evil. Elizabeth Moon: Captain Moroni and Paks quickly sense that He-man is on their side, and they begin to plan what to do next. Robert Jordan: While this new league is being formed, Mat has come to the end of the tunnel. The dice are rolling furiously in his head. As he comes to the surface, he meets Dark Phoenix face to face. Blood and bloody ashes... Robert: Watch the language Mister Jordan! In any case, the dice stopped dead when Mat cam out of the tunnel. Robert Jordan: Mat likes to live dangerously, so he begins to flirt with the Dark Phoenix. All this does is enrage her. She flares her flames to incinerate this impudent man, but Mat has already fled down the tunnel as fast as he can run. He knows what to do when confronted with an angry and contentious woman... King Solomon: Hey, that's my line, dwelling in the wilderness and all. Robert: Who let him in here? Anyway, the flaring of Dark Phoenix's power melted the One Ring right off of her finger. Sauron's influence is removed from the Omega level mutant and she is stunned momentarily by the withdrawal. So ... Dark Phoenix is shaking off the last influence of Sauron in the blast crater. Mat has fled at high speed back into the sewers. Paksenarrion, Captain Moroni, and He-man are planning in the Tabernacle. Carnage/Sabertooth is running south down University screaming maniacally. The Punisher is tracking him stealthily, trying to figure out what kind of weapon he'd need to kill the monstrosity. Brian Wrote: <Flash> Anne McCaffrey: Ah! Finally one of my characters for these Rumble things. The young Lord Holder of Ruatha lands his dragon on the top of the Wells Fargo Bank Building. He doesn't stay for long though as he sees the mad man running down the street. Jaxom: Ruth! We need to put that poor man out of his misery! He seems to be all but completely covered in Thread. Ruth: I shall flame the thread! Anne: With an acrobatic leap, Ruth dives toward Carna-tooth. The mad man is still screaming wildly, and is suddenly silenced by the jet of flame from Ruth's throat. Tolkien: Isn't that a little unfair to have Jaxom and Ruth come in together? I thought this was every man for himself. Mr. Statistics: Yes, but the rules also state that warriors who might usually have a mount (be it horse, camel, or dragon) may have that mount. Anne: Ruth is much more than a simple mount! Mr. Statistics: Technically not here, he cannot win. Jaxom would be the winner should they survive. Anne: Well if one is killed the other will suicide anyway. Mr. Statistics: Which further proves the point of them being basically one warrior not two. Tolkien: Still seems a little unfair. The Witch King should have gotten his fell beast then. Mr. Statistics: He could have, but it still would have been a mount only, not a separate winnable contestant. Lucas: Whatever, let's get back to the action. Madden: Yeah, the Punisher saw the little white dragon drop from the sky and quickly decides he doesn't want to take that on! George H.W. Bush: That wouldn't be prudent! Anne: Jaxom dismounts from Ruth to see if there is anything he can do for the poor 'thread scored' man. Punisher: Well done! You killed him off! Jaxom: If I hadn't the thread would have killed him. I had little choice. Anne: Punisher isn't sure what thread he's talking about, but decides not to push the issue. They continue to talk and soon Punisher has convinced Jaxom to team up for the time being. <FLASH> Richard Moll: The next flash of light is in the doorway of the Tabernacle. My he's a handsome fellow if I do say so! Mr. Obvious: Seeing as he looks just like you that's nothing special. John Madden: He's Slan Quince from the pilot episode of the Highlander series. He looks up and sees the church walls around him. Slan: Holy Ground. Gotta get them outside. Hey you! Come over here for a minute. Madden: He-Man follows the immortal out the door. He-Man trots over to the door and the two step outside. Slan: There can be only ONE! Madden: Shouting this, Quince hammers his sword down on the neck of the Master of the Universe, severing it. Quince chuckles to himself and raises his hands to the sky awaiting the quickening. Mr. Obvious: But since He-Man isn't that kind of immortal, the only shock Slan gets is when Capt. Moroni slams into him. Moroni: Vile murderer! Thou shalt pay for thy sins! Quince: Indeed I shall! Come let me take your head as well! Madden: The two battle down the front steps of the building and out to the street. There they are spotted by the Dark Phoenix, who surges over to them. Paksenarrion scoops up the Power Sword and leaps to Moroni's defense. Phoenix sends a blast of energy at the paladin, but Paks catches it on the Power Sword. The second blast is bounced back as Paks swings the sword like a baseball bat. And here comes out next competitor! So Phoenix is fighting Paksenarrion, and they are moving north along University, Slan Quince and Capt. Moroni are moving south as they battle. Punisher has just offered Jaxom some free food from the Touch of Seoul Restaurant, and Mat has found another opening to the sewers. He is climbing through the man-hole cover in the middle of the small parking area at the North East corner of the arena. Go to Next Round! |