Written by: Miyu, Vampire Princess

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Wow! A whole new storyline unattached to my other short series fanfics! This story focuses on a love triangle between Haru, Kisa and Hiro. Each part is told from a specific point of view. Again, it's Haru telling the story. Hiro gets the next part. Beware the LEMON! Comments are always welcome. Please enjoy. ^^

Part Four - Would Have, Should have, Could Have

"Haru?"

"Kisa."

Her name comes out of my mouth much harsher, much deeper than I wanted. I should've stopped that instant. I know this is wrong. This is so fucking wrong! But her body is so soft beneath me, her lips and tongue driving me to the brink of insanity. All the want and lust that I'd pushed to the back of my mind earlier this week suddenly breaks free.

Helplessly, I lower my lips to hers. I can feel her warm breath on my nose before I claim her again, a light brush of a kiss. It causes a ripple of electricity to roll through me, charging every nerve ending in my body. I can't help but moan at the sensation.

Kisa must've felt it too. I can feel her body tense beneath me. She gasps, and instinct takes over. I press to deepen the kiss, my tongue brushing lightly against her upper lip. When she gasps again, I force my way into her mouth, claiming her fully with my tongue as well as my lips. Her tongue finds mine and duels tentatively with it, giving herself over to our kiss. I can feel my body relax, feel my erection throbbing painfully in my pants. As our tongues duel I press myself and her further into the futon.

She's so warm, the smell of daffodils and vanilla lingering in her hair. I squirm a little, unsure if my weight is too much for her. But until she complains, I'm not moving. I love the feel of her under me, the feel of her lips against mine. It's almost like my dream....

Kami but I must be crazy. I shouldn't be doing this. This is wrong. She's engaged for Kami's sake! She. Is. Engaged!

The sudden urge to do what's right comes over me and I break the kiss. I may kick myself in the ass for it later, but it has to be done.

Damn my conscience, I think, closing my eyes.

To my surprise, her hands reach up to cup my face. My eyes snap open, my chest still heaving for air and look down at her, confused. And guilty. That same guilt is reflected back in those beautiful tiger eyes of hers. She's in love with Hiro. It's there. It's so obvious. She knows this is wrong too.

And yet...

Should we--?

Could we--?

She raises her head and pulls mine down for another kiss. My body tenses one last time, then I relax. The would've, should've, could've questions all disappear from my mind. I let myself go, let the memories of my dream come rushing back to me.

Possibilities for the time to come.

Shit! What the fuck am I doing?!

Gasping, I break the kiss, pulling away from her and standing from the bed. I can see her hurt and confused look before I turn around and sit on the edge of the bed. She had pulled me into that last kiss. Knowing that it was wrong she still did it. It was her choice.

So why the hell do I feel like the bastard?

"Haru?" Kisa's voice sounds so small, so uncertain. Like that of the small child I remember. "Did I...do some...thing wrong?"

Oh hell no! You did everything just right!

"You did nothing wrong, Kisa. Gomen ne." I sigh, closing my eyes and bowing my head. "I don't...I don't know what came over me."

Oh yes you do, my mind answer bitterly.

I can feel the mattress move, here the old bedding underneath squeak as Kisa moves about. For a moment I think that maybe she's left the bed and is quickly making her way over to the door. But it's no surprise when I feel small arms wrap around my neck, feel her chest press against my back as she hugs me from behind.

"Have you ever felt like something's...missing in your life?"

The question catches me off guard. I pause for a moment before nodding my head. "Sometimes I do."

"I've felt like that for a while now," she replies, resting her chin on my right shoulder. "I don't know what that something is...." She pauses, then continues. "No, I know what that something is NOW. But for the last few weeks, I feel like I've been looking for something just out of my grasp."

Something just out of reach, huh? Boy do I know how that feels.

Wait a second!

"I thought that maybe it was something to do with my relationship with Hiro, but it's not that," she continues, her voice growing sad at the mention of her fiancé's name. "I'm happy with Hiro. I love him. But...."

"But what?" I'm afraid to know the answer, but I can't help but ask.

"But I'm missing so much," she answers. "I miss being able to hang out with my friends. I miss talking to Tohru-neesan. I miss playing with Kyo-niichan and Yuki-niichan." She pauses, hugging me tighter. "I miss you."

My body tenses at her words, with one very particular part of me jumping for joy. As happy -- no ecstatic -- that I am, my next words come out much harsher than I mean them to.

"That's a part of life, Kisa. We all have to grow up sometime."

I regret my words as her hold on me loosens before disappearing all together. The bed moves again and my head lifts to see two slim legs making their way in front of me heading for the door. With a speed I have no idea I possess, I'm on my own feet, running to block her exit.

"Get out of my way. You don't want me here--"

"I never said that," I say calmly. "I want you here, Kisa. You have no idea how bad."

She blinks, but her surprise is short lived through her own rising anger. "Haru, please get out of the way."

"No."

"Haru!"

"Tell me why."

"Why I should even talk to you, or why I shouldn't scream to get someone's attention?" she snaps at me. I suppose I deserve it after what I said.

My voice is so calm it surprises even me. "Tell me why you miss me."

Her eyes grow wide and her mouth opens to respond but no words come out. She does this several times with no answer pouring forth. Either she doesn't have one, or she doesn't want to tell. So I press harder.

"Tell me how you can love him and still want to be here with me."

Tears start to fall from her eyes and her mouth snaps shut. There's a muffled sob before she answers, "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me." The words are soft, meant as encouragement, but she shakes her head, the tears falling faster.

"You wouldn't understand!"

"Kisa--"

"You. Wouldn't. Understand!"

"Tell me," I demand, grabbing her by the shoulders.

"Because he's all I know," she yells back at me, the tears falling like tiny stream down her cheek. "He's all I know, Haru. I don't want...I don't want to go through the rest of my life knowing only him." She shakes her head almost violently, trying to shake free of my hold, but I'm not letting go. "I don't...want...that. I don't...."

Wrapping my arms around her, I hug her as tightly as I can. Her sobs shake her entire frame and I can feel her tears as they soak into the cotton of my shirt. I caress her back gently with both hands, moving them in opposite directions.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know," she mutters pitifully into my shoulder.

I nuzzle my nose into her neck, pulling her closer. "I think you do." That said, I lay a line of light pecking kisses from her shoulder to her earlobe. Finally I feel her arms wrap around me again and she sighs into my shoulder. Her sobs quiet and her tears stop.

"It can only be temporary," I whisper in her ear. "And we can't get caught."

She nods and I pull away to look into her eyes. Using one hand under her chin, I tilt her face up to look at me. I have to know she wants me as badly as I want her. What I find there is as astounding as the young woman before me.

Those beautiful amber eyes, although puffy and tinted red from crying, hold a bucket of emotions. There's want. There's need. And there's love. No fear. No regret. No question.

And her smile is brighter than any sun. I can't help but smile in return.

Cupping her face in my hands, I lean down for a tender kiss. Our lips brush at first before our tongues start to duel with each other. Before long, the tender kiss is turned into a passionate one, both of us throwing all of ourselves into that one single moment.

Untangling her arms from around my waist, I lift her without breaking our kiss. She wraps her arms around my neck, pulling herself closer, the kiss growing hungrier. Slowly I walk back towards the bed. I know I'm there when my calf hits the edge of the metal frame. I wince slightly and the kiss breaks.

With another smile I toss Kisa onto the futon. Literally. She bounces off the mattress giving a little cry of alarm. Then she laughs as I jump onto the futon with her. With my weight on my elbows and knees I lean forward and kiss her again. I'm not sure what it is about her kisses but I can't get enough!

Her laughter turns to giggles, then to moans as I slowly lower myself onto her once more. Our hands, eager for the touch of flesh, begin stripping each other. As my hands dive under the fabric of her shirt, she grasps the bottom of mine and tugs on it until it's over my head. I sit up to pull it off completely, then toss it somewhere in the room.

My hands make their way back under her shirt in search of her breasts. They mold the round globes through her bra until her moans echoing in my room and I become far too impatient. I want to see her.

Taste her.

She sits up slightly, allowing me to take off her t-shirt. Tossing the article aside, my gaze sweeps across her smooth skin until my eyes lock onto her still covered breasts. I lick my quickly drying lips, gasping as she reaches behind her and easily releases the clasp. Slowly she peels the lacy fabric off her shoulders. In slow motion her tantalizing skin is revealed to my gaze. Lazily she tosses the item aside.

Kami, but she is perfect. Beautiful and perfect.

As she lies back down, smiling a seductive smile, my hands resume their wondering. Eventually they come to rest on those perfect globes. They're not too large and not too small. Like warm, ripe fruit in the palms of my hands.

Her hands begin a tentative exploration of my chest and shoulder. Her fingertips are pure fire while her nails lightly scratch my skin. I groan at the sensation. I like it a little rough and what she's doing is turning me on so completely. My hands squeeze her breasts harder in response.

Not able to hold myself back any longer, I pull gently on one of her breasts, covering the hardened nipple with my mouth. Her back arches off of the bed and she moans my name in response. Flicking my tongue over the sensitive bud earns me another moan. Only when I pull on that bit of flesh with my teeth does she cry out my name loudly.

Kami, but it's a beautiful sound.

I switch my attention to her other breast, her tiny body writhing beneath me. Her hips begin a seductive rhythm, her body aching for release. I push my hips into her, grinding lightly. My erection is throbbing painfully, calling for the same release.

As my lips take hers once again, our hands begin groping impatiently. Her fingers fiddle with the button of my jeans as my fingers find their was into her shorts. Gotta love elastic waistbands.

Quickly avoiding the cotton barrier, my fingers slide across her wet sex, diving into her folds. She gasps at my touch, arching her hips upward and causing me to whimper as my control is tested. Shit, she is so wet! She wants more, her hips starting a slow decadent rhythm. I give it to her, slipping one of my fingers inside her dripping cunt as my thumb plays with her clit.

My pants finally come undone. She's quite mindless now, her entire body focused or the sensations I'm causing. Her hands, unsure of what they're doing, manage to unzip my pants as well. Her knuckles graze my erection through my boxers and I throw my head back, groaning. Kami, that felt good.

My fingers pause momentarily, until her hands free me from my underwear, pushing the boxer down past my butt. As her hands mold themselves to my aching cock, I begin thrusting my finger inside her. She quickly catches the rhythm, stroking me in time to my thrusts. I can feel my own release building, but I know she's much closer.

With a flick of my thumb across her clit, her body explodes and her inner muscles clench down hard as she comes. Her hands pull on me roughly, her body trembling from its release. She's truly beautiful, her face contorting into so many expressions until she finally slips back into reality.

Her eyes are glossy, dreamily staring up at me. I can see the love and want in her eyes. Know that the same is reflected in my own. She smiles at me and I grin devilishly in return.

Standing from the bed, I discard my pants and boxers. I stay standing for a moment, allowing her eyes to take in the full, naked sight of me. Thos elovely amber eyes widen in surprise as she takes a good, searing look at my manhood. I'm not overly large, but possibly better than average.

At least I know I'm better off than Hiro. I can see it in her gaze as she licks her lips. I find some strange form of pride in that.

"Like what you see?"

"H-hai," she says with a slight stutter. She nods, smiling. "Yes, very much."

"Can I see you too?" I climb back onto the bed, kneeling over her on my hands and knees.

She only nods, her fingers tugging at the waistband of her shorts, but I stop her with one hand.

"Let me."

"But I didn't get to undress you." She pouts adorably.

"Maybe next time, koishi."

My fingers wrap around the waistband of her shorts, pulling off her underwear at the same time. I make sure to take it slowly, her eyes glazing over in lust once again as my knuckles grave the soft skin of her inner thighs and calves before tossing the garments aside.

Settling between her legs, I spread her thighs wide with my hands so I can truly see her. She's extremely beautiful in this wanton position, her hips beginning their dance once more. So inviting, I whimper in response, my dick twitching in excitement.

"Haru, onegai."

Leaning over, I inhale her heady scent before my tongue darts out for a taste of her. It's the most exotic taste...clearly Kisa in its sweet, tangy flavor. My tongue glides along her nether lips, giving me more of her sugary juice. She cries out again, her hands fisting into my short, white hair. She pulls on me, wanting me to halt yet begging for more.

So I continue to lick at her wet folds, my tongue taking a dive into her hot center before finding that hardened nubbin of pleasure. Her moans become screams as I suckle on her clit, pushing two fingers into her core. I feel her release building again, my own aching cock twitching with each impassioned moan and pleasured scream. Once I feel the telltale tightening, I take one last lick at her folds before rising to take her lips in a bruising kiss.

Settling my throbbing cock against her slick folds, we moan into each other's mouths. I want to break away for a moment, to ask if it's really all right, if I'll hurt her or not. But when she raises her knees, locking her legs around my waist, I take the invitation and carefully thrust into her. I'm buried only half way and my body is dying to be sheathed in her tight, hot depths. When there's no sign of pain I break our kiss and thrust in as far as I can go.

I'm slightly disappointed that she's not a virgin. Then again, I'm also relieved. It means that Hiro's had her first and since they're engaged, that's the way it should be.

Still, it bruises my male pride, if only a little.

She's freaking tight around my cock, her muscles contracting as they adjust to my intrusion. I try to stay as still as possible, but it's testing my control. I have to bite my lower lip to keep myself from calling out.

'This is wrong,' the voice of reason screams at me. 'This isn't right!'

But when she flexes her hips, gasping at the tiny friction it causes, it feels so very right.

"Onegai, Haru," she whispers, her fingernails scoring at my back impatiently. "Onegai!"

My initial thrusts are tentative. When I feel myself slide in to the hilt, I build to the pace that my fingers had set before. When her hips match me thrust for thrust, I slam myself in to her almost violently, pulling almost the whole way out before hammering home.

It's only a matter of minutes - or is it seconds? - before she's screaming my name, her vaginal muscles spasming around my still thrusting penis, coaxing me to my own release. I let go a bit unwillingly. I wanted the moment to last longer, but there's little I can do as my seed pours into her along with my soul. My body goes limp, exhausted from one of the best orgasms its ever experienced.

Through the dimming fog of my mind, I have enough conscious thought to fall down beside her, slipping out of her in the process. I can hear her breathing as it slows, feel her arms wrap around me as she snuggles into my side, her head resting on my still heaving chest.

"Haru, arigato," she whispers before sleep takes her. "Ai shi...te...ru."

I wrap one arm around her protectively, my own breathing finally slowing. Briefly it registers the words 'Ai shiteru' and my heart stops for an aching second. As the darkness of sleep encroaches, I use my remaining energy to plant a light kiss on the top of her head. I want to be able to say the words back, but I just can't find it in me.

This can only be temporary.

And we can't get caught.

The first is definitely going to be more difficult.

~TO BE CONTINUED~