WHEN THE HEART IS GONE
A Fruits Basket Fanfic
Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
This is the Toriru I promised Mona-chan just before her birthday. It's a bit
late...okay it's REALLY late...but better late than never. =P Told from Hatori's
POV. This is the finale...and I hope I won't get hurt too badly. Squeeze of
lime.
Part Four - Never Too Late
My eyes had never beheld such beauty.
Daring a glance, I braced myself for what I thought was going to be an overwhelming experience. "Overwhelming", however, was not a strong enough word for the emotions that ran through me. My nerves were already playing havoc with my head, my body. But the sight before me drew my attention. I couldn't look away. I dared not, or else I might wake up and this would all be a dream.
Tohru was the picture of feminine innocence in her white kimono. Her long hair had been braided then piled intricately and delicately on the top of her head. I do not think I've ever seen her with makeup on, but she was wearing it today, although lightly, only highlighting her natural beauty.
Her small body moved gracefully as she walked towards me. My thoughts suddenly turned to other things, but I forced myself under control. Plenty of time for that later, as Shigure had pointed out twice already. No doubt that damn dog was laughing at me at that very moment as well.
Our wedding day turned out to be a bigger occasion than we had planned. Many of the Sohmas turned out for the special day, including all of the jyuunishi. We finally felt like family. Together. There was no lingering presence of Akito, even though my guilt still hung heavy over my head. It always would. But it was so easy to forget as we spoke our vows, as the others screamed and cheered for us.
And so easy to forget while lying in Tohru's arms.
That night was exceptionally special. Not just because it was our wedding night...and it was not the first time we had made love...but it was the first time Tohru initiated the act. She was beautiful, a bit rough and very uncertain still. Yet she managed to trap me on the mattress and divest me of my vest, shirt and pants.
She surprised me again by taking my quickly hardened member and licking it like a lollipop. Her lips, tongue and teeth created fire in my blood. Back and forth. Up and down. She suckled the head into her mouth before slowly lowering herself down, taking more of me into her warm mouth. I tried not to squirm, to squeal like a girl. Her innocence made the experience that much more exciting. This was not the first time Tohru had attempted to give me a blowjob, but it was the first time she succeeded in taking all of me into her mouth.
But that was nothing compared to the experience of being one with her. She was approaching her third orgasm and I was determined to go with her. Sitting up at an angel, supported by tons of pillows, I had her ride me until that last orgasm washed over her. Then I threw her backward onto the bed. Sitting on my knees, I grabbed her hips and pulled her to me, piercing her wet center over and over again, almost brutally, until she came that last time. I gladly went with her, closing my eyes to the wave of warmth and pleasure that slapped me in the face, that weakened my body and forced a shiver down my spine. I barely had the frame of mind NOT to fall on top of her. Slipping into a more comfortable position beside her, I pulled the covers over us and drifted into a light slumber.
If there was ever a miracle, her love was it. I was truly blessed. There could be no greater gift.
Save for one.
"Hatori?" She walked into my office so happy she was going to explode. Her good cheer rubbed off on me as it so often did.
"Nani?"
"I have something to tell you."
"You'll have to make it quick, I have another appointment in five minutes."
"Oh, this won't take long."
I sat back in my chair giving her my undivided attention. "Well...what is it?"
"Do you remember our conversation a few weeks ago? The one about starting a family?"
"Hai."
"Well, I know you wanted to wait but...."
"Tohru?"
Finally her joy did explode and she confessed loudly, "I'm pregnant!"
I jumped up from my chair, clutching at her shoulders. "Are you sure?"
"Pretty sure," she said with a nod. "The stick is supposed to turn pink, right?"
In a surge of pride and excitement I hugged her. We were in the privacy of my office, so transforming was not an issue...and I had grown quite accustomed to it living with Tohru. She held me close even after I became a seahorse. And when I transformed back, my next appointment was forgotten. I kissed her tenderly, laid her out in the most comfortable spot in the room, and made love to her until we were both tired and sore.
The news of Tohru's pregnancy spread like a wild fire through the main house. Kyo and Yuki were the first to congratulate us. They came running over, racing each other no doubt. Amazing that they could still be so competitive even after their near misses with life itself. Momiji was not far behind. He bounced into the room and jumped onto Tohru. I wanted to object, but the smile on both of their faces held me back. Kisa came over the next day, Hiro in tow.
Shigure and Ayame took me out to celebrate. It was the first time we'd been together since my wedding. Despite the fact that Shigure is a major pain in the ass when he's drunk, I had a wonderful time with them.
Kagura and Ritsu also appeared to wish us a hearty congratulations. Kureno sent his own best wishes, as he was carefully attempting to win over one of Tohru's friends. It was quite amusing to watch, although I don't think he had to work too hard.
Things really seemed to be looking up. We quickly rearranged the house to make room for the new addition. She had the usual strange cravings most women have during pregnancy, even at three in the morning. But her health, even in these happy times, was not improving.
"So there's been no change?"
"Other than the fact that she gets tired quicker, and she doesn't eat as much...no...there hasn't been a change."
"Have the blood tests come back yet?"
"Not yet, probably in the next few days. Shoji promised a quick turnaround on this one. It could mean trouble for the baby if it's serious."
"Ha-san...have you said any of this to Tohru?"
A sigh. "I'm avoiding the inevitable. I don't want her to get anxious or overly worried. That could only make things worse."
"But what if--?"
"I don't want to think too far ahead, Shigure. One step at a time."
I tried everything I could, short of hurting her and the baby. I consulted several of my previous colleagues in hopes of discovering something. Nothing seemed to be panning out. It frustrated me to no end and poor Tohru had to take the brunt of it. Thank the gods she's a gentle soul, otherwise I'm pretty sure I would've gotten my ass handed to me on more than one occasion.
After weeks of searching, I finally came across something...an abnormality in her blood. Why hadn't I run across it before? Had the pregnancy finally brought this out? Shoji was pretty sure the abnormality was genetic. There was a good chance that it would be passed to the child as well. A transfusion at birth may keep that from happening, but he too, didn't want to jump to far ahead.
"One problem at a time, Hatori-san," he'd said with a small smile. "We'll deal with this and THEN worry about the future. We have to make sure your wife is fine first."
Tohru went about her life as normal, only slightly aware of the problems facing her. She would wake at the crack of dawn, make breakfast, attend classes, prepare dinner and all the other household chores she was accustomed to.
The only thing I insisted upon was that she quit her job. It meant a lot to her I know, but now that we were married, I just didn't want her working. Honestly, I didn't want her working because of her illness. I was torn between telling her truth and letting her be. Perhaps I was convinced I would find a way to heal her, to save our child and life would be perfect.
"Nothing to fear. The baby is perfectly healthy, Hatori-san," Shoji confirmed during a visit to his office. He was looking at the ultrasounds I had taken. "Both of them seem to be in good health for ones so small."
"Both of them?"
"Yes, see here." He pointed to the ultrasound. "I wasn't sure at first, but this is the second ultrasound you've showed me. That's definitely another baby." He smiled at me clapping me on the shoulder. "Congratulations, you're having twins."
"TWINS!" Kyo and Yuki screamed when I returned home to tell Tohru.
"That's wonderful news," Tohru said with a tired smile. "I'll go get dinner started."
I noticed the slow way she moved, the flinch of pain as she stood on her feet. "No, I think we need to celebrate I told her. Let's order out." I hoped she didn't hear the insistence in my voice. She smiled, unaware of my panic. She sauntered off to the kitchen to check some take out menus as Kyo and Yuki cornered me.
"What's going on Hatori?"
"Why do you sound so worried? She probably just over did it again."
"I suppose I owe you two and explanation."
And I did. I explained everything to them. About her failing health when she found out they were ill. About her continued illness even after they had recovered. She was not poisoned as they were. Her condition was rare. Genetic. And delivering two children into the world may be the last thing she ever does.
"And she doesn't know?" Yuki asked.
I shook my head. "I should tell her...I WILL tell her...I'm just...afraid."
"She'll do whatever you tell her," Kyo said. "And we'll back you up 100 percent."
I can never truly express how grateful I was to them for their support. It meant a lot. Shigure and Ayame also vowed to pitch in.
"I can't let my little flower wilt in her prime, now can I," Shigure had said.
It was a week later when I confronted Tohru. Pep talk after pep talk had prepared me for the hardship of having to explain her blood tests. Explaining what could possibly be the end.
What I wasn't prepared for was her ever brilliant smile. Her devotion and understanding. She was worried, it showed in her eyes, but I think she was more worried about me, about our children. She kissed me gently. Told me everything was going to be fine. Not a single thought for herself. Thoughtful and selfless...that's Tohru at her best.
But I wish she had given her well-being some thought. Watching her as she went into labor, as her already weakened body did its best to bring life into the world, it broke my heart. She was covered in sweat, her temperature rising with the demands of our children.
Shoji was there to help me deliver the twins. He was professional to the end, doing his job without so much as a word. He helped her to breath. Helped me to stay calm. And when the first sounds of a child crying filled the room, Tohru's tired body managed a dazzling smile.
"Is it a boy or a girl?"
"A boy," I managed as Shoji handed the child to me. It had been determined that the blood transfusion needed to dilute any possible effect of Tohru's condition was minimal. But only time would tell for sure. I set up our son as Kagura watched over him. Tohru's scream drew my attention away.
"This is going to be rough," Shoji said, more to me than to Tohru. "She's gonna need all the help she can get."
"I'm o...kay...." Tohru said, her lips set in determination. She lifted herself on wobbly arms, preparing to push. "I...can do...this."
"Then push," Shoji said.
I rushed to her side, helping her sit up and wiping her brow with a cool cloth when the worst seemed over. We continued this several times, each time more difficult than the last. Finally Shoji declared he saw the crown of the head. Progress. Not much longer.
Then Tohru collapsed. I screamed for her to wake up. Her eyes opened slowly and she smiled up at me.
"Just a little more," I prodded and she nodded.
Three more pushes and the child was born...a girl. Her wail filled the room with an answering call from her brother. I helped Tohru to lay back, covered her forehead with a cold cloth and rushed to check on our daughter.
"She's just as beautiful as her brother," Shoji said happily.
"May I...see them?"
With Kagura's help we carried the two newborns to their mother. Tohru didn't hold them. She wasn't strong enough. But with tired fingers, she touched their cheeks with loving caresses.
"They're so small," she commented. Her eyes turned up to me. "You'll take good care of them, won't you, Hatori?"
"Of course," I answered with frown. Something was wrong. Definitely wrong.
"She's bleeding profusely," Shoji announced. "It's not going to stop."
I handed our daughter to Kagura and tried to assist Shoji. There was a lot of blood. And there was no way to tell where it was coming from to stop it.
"Hatori?"
I rushed to her side, grasping her hand tightly. "You have to hold on, Tohru. Just a little longer."
Weakly she shook her head. "I'm sorry, Hatori."
"You have to stay with me," I pleaded. "Please, Tohru."
"You'll make a wonderful father."
"Don't go."
"Ah! I think I hear mother. She's so happy to see me."
"Tohru, no."
"I'll always...be with you. I love you...Hatori."
"I love you too."
And just like that...she was gone.
It's hard to believe it's been five years since her death. Five years since the birth of our children. I'm not sure what kind of father I will turn out to be. But I want my children to know they are loved. I want them to know their mother made the ultimate sacrifice just for them. I want them to grow up strong, caring and the best people they can possibly be.
My son tugs on my jacket sleeve. "What is it, Nozomi?"
"I want to talk to Momma."
"Go ahead."
So far, the children are showing no signs of Tohru's genetic blood disorder. They're actually very well learned for ones their age.
"Papa?"
"Go ahead, Mirai. Join your brother."
Everyone tells me they look like me. But every time I see them, I see Tohru. I see her love for me. For them.
I love you, Tohru.
I know now, it's never too late.
~FIN~