WHITE FLAG
A Fruits Basket Fanfic
Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
An Akito x Hanajima romance. Yes, romance. Be afraid. Very afraid. I believe
Nightmare Kitty can be blamed for this titanic brainstorm. =P No lemon in this
part. Continuing the romantic tale from Akito's POV.
PART TWO - FEELINGS ASTRAY
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"Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender"
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"Sir, dinner is here."
"Leave it at my door."
"Sir?"
"I said LEAVE IT!"
"Th-the lights?"
"Leave them off."
"Y-yes, sir."
I can hear the dishes against the wood of the tray. I can hear it being placed on the floor just inside my bedroom door. I can even hear the swish of cloth the maid is wearing as she bows to leave.
"Is there any news?"
"No, sir. There's been no news." A pause. "Although...."
I look through the shadows at her. "What is it?"
"Kagura was seen running through the grounds a few minutes ago. Momiji wasn't far behind her."
"Is that so?" Kagura was probably heading for Hatori's office. She had acted as a nurse before. But that didn't mean anything.
What the hell was going on over there?!
"It would appear that things have gotten worse."
I glared. "I didn't ask for your assessment."
The maid bows again, backing away from the doorway. "No, sir. My apologies. I'll return in an hour for your tray, sir."
And I'm once again left alone.
You'd think I'd be used to being alone. I'm an outcast in my own family. A pawn. To be used and thrown away. That's what I was told as a child anyway.
Even then I never sat and brooded so deeply in the darkness. Never contemplated my life in such detail. I reveled in my hatred. Plotted against those who plotted against me. But I've never been totally consumed by my feelings. Not like now. Wallowing...is that even a feeling? How does one wallow? It's difficult to explain, I guess, but that's what I'm doing.
Wallowing in darkness.
Sitting, alone in the darkness of my chambers. Wallowing, in grief and self-pity. Brooding over things past and present.
Months ago these feelings would've been irrelevant. Grief and self-pity disappeared when I hit puberty, along with just about everything else. When I realized the extent of my power. When I realized that I was going to die. I gave up feeling in general. Well, there was one thing I felt. Hate. Hate for my curse. Hate for the people who told me I was going to die. Hate for those that would survive me. I never wanted this job, this position as god.
But even I have to admit, I grabbed onto that power quite well.
I've been objective and hard nosed. I've done very few things to be proud of and a lot of things I should hate myself for. But like I said, I gave up feeling. What did I care?
The thoughts of other interested me less and less, although their actions would make my blood boil. How dare they? How dare they live while I sat here waiting to rot?! I took Hatori's eye. I pushed Rin out of a window. I've locked Yuki into a small, dark room where only I can see him. Some would say I'm cruel. Others might call it tough love. Saki calls it evil.
Either way, I'm a rotten son of a bitch.
How did you manage to change me Hanjiama Saki? How did you manage to make me feel again? No one else could. So why you? What makes you so special? Is it your unusual look? Your calm demeanor? The way your eyes go fathomless when you smile? Or was it your dark passion, your hidden aggression?
I should be out there. I should be by her side. But Hatori is insistent. I could make him listen. I could. But it would be of no use to me. Or to her.
Damn it I'm not even hungry!
I feel caged. Trapped! I need to get out of this room. Get away from everything that curses me and those around me. I need OUT.
Just like that day.
We had been busy with business meetings and had been in town all day long. Kureno had to stop to pick up a few items on the way home. I figured, no big deal, we'd be in and out and home in no time.
Gods was I wrong!
Not only did he have to stop at three different tailors, but he also stopped at a cellular phone store, another men's clothing store and two market places. By the time he left the cellular store, I had already excused myself and walked a block to the nearest cafe.
I was absolutely disgusted, not just with Kureno, but with the place before me. It was small, and it didn't look busy. Plus the aroma was somewhat pleasing. I opened the door and stepped inside.
The cafe looked rather...cozy on the inside. The decor was done in the classical American style. I believe it was to imitate a malt shop or some other nonsense. It was warm, just like the humid air outside. But after a few minutes I started to feel cool, relaxed. A young man appeared at the counter.
The menu was full of many different sweets and snacks. I ordered one of the first things I saw: a chocolate milkshake. I hadn't had chocolate in a while, and I don't think I've ever had a milkshake.
I don't indulge in things like ice cream or milkshakes very often. My sensitive stomach doesn't allow me the pleasure. But I was certain one wouldn't hurt. And if Kureno or Hatori wanted to lecture me later when I was complaining of pains, well, I suppose that would be their right. But I'd tell them off anyhow.
It wasn't until I collected my milkshake that I felt eyes on me. I suddenly became very tense. I don't like being watched. Carefully I turned my head, searching for the "disturbance in the force." Imagine my surprise - yes, surprise - when a pair of dark orbs stared back at me.
It was a young woman, probably a few years my junior. Her eyes looked away a few moments after they met my own. She appeared to be sitting alone at a table. I do have to admit - even if it kills me - that she was not difficult to look at. Her dark eyes had been curious, and her long, ebony tresses flowed over a small frame. Her skin was pale. Perhaps she did not see much sunlight, much like myself. Another damn side effect of my curse.
I'm not sure what had come over me. I should've left the shop and returned to see if Kureno was finished. But my feet had other ideas. They moved me across the floor, between the tables and stopped at the table next to hers. I paused a moment. When she didn't look up, I sat down. My head argued that this was stupid, but I couldn't will my body to move.
Our conversation was...short. Not very notable, although her choice of words and her way of speech seemed...familiar. Appealing. She spoke as gracefully as she moved. And when she stood to leave, I couldn't help but watch her go. She was...mesmerizing.
Saki.
I berated myself as soon as she disappeared from my sight. Just what the hell was I thinking?! Talking to a complete stranger about nothing in general. This is not something I do on the norm. Hell, it's not something I do at all!
And when I left the cafe in search of Kureno, I forced myself to forget about her.
A week passed and I had been so busy that I didn't even think twice about the encounter at the cafe. But one night, I had this dream. I rarely dream. And she was there. A dark angel, dressed in shiny black cloth and feathery black wings. She was sent to save me from my weakness...my curse. Her lips moved as she reached for me, pulling me from a cavernous abyss, but I couldn't understand what she was saying. We kept rising, flying higher and higher!
Then I woke up.
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"There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be "
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Needless to say the next week was a dreary one. Not because the weather had indeed turned colder, but because I couldn't get her out of my head. I was more irate than usual. More frustrated than usual. And my dreams...she appeared in almost each and every one.
Thursday night rolled around and I'd been inside for two whole weeks. The scenery outside my window was calling to me. The walls were closing in. I needed to get out.
"Kureno, I want to go into town."
"Where would you like to go, Akito-san?"
"Anywhere! Just get me the hell out here. Now!"
We drove around for about an hour before my restlessness got the better of me again. I told the driver to stop. Without saying anything to Kureno or the driver, I opened my door and got out.
"Akito?!" Kureno called out the window.
"Drive around for a bit," I told him. "I'll meet you back here in an hour."
"But--?"
"JUST DO IT!"
Kureno only nodded, the window rising to cover his confused features. He had no idea what was going on. That's all right. I didn't know either.
I walked several blocks before I came to a recognizable spot. My body was screaming for rest and the cafe appeared as if by magic. With what felt like the last of my strength, I opened the door and stepped inside.
Then, just like magic, she appeared.
I watched her carefully as she ordered her drink. Another chocolate shake. She gazed over at me once before walking over. I engrossed myself in a newspaper I no longer had any interest in. I felt a small pounding inside my chest. Was that my heart? Why, yes. The little devil was beating...and quite rapidly I might add.
Again our conversation was about nothing. She asked me about business and I inquired about school. Strange, now that I think about it, that I never mentioned where I worked, nor did she mention the name of her school. I suppose it was one of those things that didn't matter.
And before I knew it, over an hour had passed.
"Shimatta!" I muttered loudly under my breath.
"Are you late for an appointment?" Saki asked.
I managed a small smile, something also very rare for me. But it always seemed easy when she was around. I'd done it several times that night alone. "You could say that."
"Then you should go," she stated matter-of-factly.
"But I'm not finished my drink."
Saki nodded to the counter. "They can put the remains in a cup to go."
"And what about you?"
"I'll stay until I finish my drink."
"Walk with me," I said, standing. She looked up at me skeptically and I realized that my words must've seemed like a command. It was actually, but nothing like the ones I gave at home. This one was softer, although it may not have seemed that way to her ears. Then much to my surprise she stood form her seat. I was convinced she was leaving. She picked up her drink and turned towards the counter. Her eyes glanced back at me over her shoulder.
"Is it far?"
"No."
"All right, then."
We walked all but one block together.
"Are you in town regularly?" she asked as we stopped on a corner.
"No," I replied. "But...I might make an exception." I paused, almost unable to comprehend what I had just said. But then I continued almost automatically, "That is, I would like to see you again."
"Are you free next week?"
I paused a moment in thought. "No. How about the week after?"
"That's Golden Week," she answered.
"And?" I inquired a tad hastily. From frustration and impatience.
"I should be able to get away one evening that week. Shall we meet at the cafe?"
I shook my head, pointing to the building beside us. "We'll meet here."
She turned to look at the building. "Here it is." She looked back at me, her eyes dark pools of onyx. Gods but they were beautiful! "What time?"
"Seven."
"All right."
"All right."
I actually felt...bad...leaving her company. For some reason I felt comfortable around her. She was very knowledgeable about the world around her for someone in high school. Not very shy, but not too aggressive. Her eyes spoke more than her lips, which seems curved in a permanent smile if I remembered correctly.
What was happening to me?!
I had thought myself incapable of affection...but that was what I was surely feeling for this girl. I had considered the notion of using her, like I use everyone else. But the notion seemed to sicken me. Just a bit, mind you.
Dinner at the Tiger Lily two weeks later did nothing to change my mind. I had planned everything to the finest detail...even telling the driver where to pick me up so that neither Kureno nor Hatori would know. We were seated promptly, dinner was brought to us in high fashion, and our conversation was actually deeper, more profound.
More personal.
If it was affection I felt for this girl then I had to know everything about her. About her parents. Her brother. Her friends. Her likes. Her dislikes. I even ordered the most costly confectionary dessert from the menu, just to impress her.
I acted like a schoolboy on his first date. Well, it WAS my first date. I liked and loathed the feelings it began to unfurl inside of me. My chest hurt from the constant pounding of my heart. My hands shook slightly from nerves. My stomach turned, in good ways I think, as my gaze took in her lithe figure and delicate features. I felt warm for the first time in years.
And as soon as we parted ways, the world turned cold.
Was that what love was really like?
We began to meet on a regular basis. Once a week, usually for a meal, or just to walk around town. We were only together for short periods of time, though. One to two hours at best. I couldn't stay away from the main house that long. I think Kureno already suspected that I was up to something after only a month.
If this bothered Saki, she never said. She seemed content to be in my presence. She wasn't frightened of me, or my power. Of course, she knew nothing of it. But I was convinced that even if she did know, she would be the same as always. It felt good to be looked at by eyes that weren't accusing. Eyes that weren't plotting against me. Eyes that held no contempt.
One month, then two flew by in a blur. We continued our weekly ritual, although the newest change in the weather from Winter to Spring caused a few changes here and there. No one knew of my sneaking off, or if they did they never mentioned it. It was in their best interest anyway.
In late February, Saki gave me a small gift during one of our outings. A valentine's present, she said it was. "Nothing special. I would just...like you to have it."
I looked at the small box in my hand then looked up at her, obviously surprised. "What is it?"
"A token of appreciation for your continued friendship."
I shook my head, as if trying to clear it. "No, I mean, WHAT is it?"
She giggled, a whimsical sound to my ears. "You have to open it to see."
The box contained a tie, made of seemingly the finest gold fabric. It was a near meaningless gift, as I never wore ties, even with a suit. It was more traditional, and I suppose I should've been angry. But it was still thoughtful, as she did not have to buy me a gift.
Heat rushed to my face and I blushed for the first time since I was a child. "Arigato."
"It's my pleasure." I was still in a daze as she lightly grasped my elbow with one of her gentle hands. "Now, shall we go eat?"
"Of course."
My dreams from that night on turned into some sort of big budget...and I'm half ashamed to admit this...porn film. Saki appeared in my dreams more often, sometimes clothed, sometimes not. And the feelings these images evoked in me were extraordinary. I'd never felt anything like them.
And in the end, I decided I was in love.
Damn it, how the hell did that happen?!
My personality must've reflected this. Kureno and Hatori were both astounded that my physical health had actually improved. Even Shigure had commented during a conversation that I looked...cheerful. I should've taken offense to that, but an image of Saki only made me smile in response. I was...for the most part...cheerful. I walked around the grounds more often, usually between my rooms and Hatori's office. Even the servants smiled more often in my presence.
Things had to change. They HAD changed.
But the world wouldn't remain all covered in roses. Oh, no. I discovered, to my own disgust, that the world I'd begun to believe in was really a dark, desolate place.
And ironically enough, I discovered that fact on "White Day".
~TO BE CONTINUED~