WHITE FLAG
A Fruits Basket Fanfic
Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
The point of view switches in the middle here. The first half is from Hanajima's
POV. The second half is told from Akito's POV. Hopefully it won't get too
confusing. No lemon yet again, but a hint of lime. ^.~
Part Three - Worth the Trouble
***********************************************
I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
***********************************************
[Hanajima]
Looking back, those days I spent with Akito were wonderful. There was no expectation. No promises made. Even when I gave him the tie. I know for a fact he didn't like it, but I was humbled that he didn't say it out loud. Even his expression was clouded. With thought. With wonder. And with something akin to confusion.
In his own way, my gift was reciprocated. He treated me to fancy meals, and, when I asked, he would take me someplace more casual, less public, or in a few instances, we'd go back to the cafe where we had met. Time with him was always...magical. Yes, I believe I can call it that. Not overly flowery or sugar coated, but calm, gentile.
I feel I was always at my best around him. Suddenly I wasn't the freaky girl at school. Granted I don't mind being the freak. I've grown quite used to it. But with Akito I felt...I don't know...freer. Like I had more mobility. More energy, certainly. One night at dinner we both laughed so hard that I wasn't sure which one of us was going to fall over first. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life. Not even with my friends. I feel as if that should mean something but it doesn't. I still love my friends.
Even if they did tease me incessantly.
"Come on, Hanajima. Just give."
"For the tenth time, you're wrong."
"You could be wrong, Uo-chan. I mean, you'd tell us if you had a boyfriend, ne Hana-chan?"
I nodded, although my answer was not immediate. "Hai."
Arisa was convinced I had a boyfriend. Granted Akito and I had barely held hands, let alone did anything else, the girl never stopped picking on me. She was kind enough to do it only in front of Tohru, and perhaps Yuki and Kyo, but it got to a point where I almost felt guilty about not telling her. I didn't want any of my friends to know about Akito.
Why?
For starters, I was afraid they would laugh or shun me. Not that I should fear them, of course. But another part of me just wasn't ready to share him. Share Akito. I liked it just being the two of us, somewhat secluded and hiding from the rest of the world.
Secondly, I was afraid of my feelings for him.
I've never been in love before. Yes, love. Even a freak can feel love. It's not painful, at least physically. I'd describe it as...indescribable. That's the best way to put it. Not bad, but not always good. Especially when want became need. My dreams reflected this and if I didn't know Arisa better, I'd swear she was a mind reader. Instead of teasing she'd give me knowing smiles, her eyes dancing in delight.
Honestly, I would've preferred the teasing.
But there came a time when I had to face my fear. Perhaps, we faced it together. Akito and I.
We had been seeing each other nearly three months to the day. Graduation loomed in the back of my mind and I was grateful for the temporary distraction. Akito had the evening carefully planned.
We ate dinner at this off-street (and might I add, well-hidden) restaurant. The food was surprisingly excellent. Then it was tea at this little garden house, followed by a stroll through the garden. In the setting sun, the greenery is quite beautiful. After dark we walked a bit through town, shared a dish of ice cream, and ended up at the very spot where we had parted that first night, just blocks away from the cafe. Akito sat on a nearby bench, over looking a small pond of rainwater that had yet to dry. I sat beside him, staring at the water myself.
"It's a chilly night," he said.
"Spring is almost here."
"Everything will come alive."
At one time, just three months ago, there would've been sadness in his voice. Winter is his favorite season. Or is it? I look at him, not strangely or curiously. Just...look at him, as if waiting for an explanation. He turns to look at me and a wry smile twitches his lips.
"I've...come alive," he added.
Before I could even utter a reply, I felt his hand grasp mine. I felt myself being pulled forward. I felt myself being crushed by the circle of his arms. Felt the solidarity of his chest, the harshness of his breathing. It matched my own.
I've been hugged before, but this felt...different. His approach, I think, could've been a bit softer. My breath left me as soon as I hit his chest. But I must admit, that I was surprised. For his height and build he was quite solid with muscle. His breath against my cheek and the heat from his body calmed me. My heart raced, slowly catching his rhythm and beating to match. I closed my eyes unsure of what to say. Were words even necessary?
"Akito?"
"Saki?"
We spoke in unison, still holding each other close. Yes, my arms wrapped around his waist, my hands pressed gently to his back. My forehead rested against his shoulder. Confessions should've been made at that very moment, but what happened next will forever be burned into my memory.
He kissed me.
It was careful and slow, not very experienced. He was meticulous about how his lips brushed against mine. I was emboldened by this, slipping the tip of my tongue out to brush against his bottom lip on a pass. He moaned, circling his arms around me tighter and pressing his lips against mine, slightly open. My lips parted and the tips of our tongues met. It was just as careful, just as meticulous, but it was a beautiful dance.
When we parted, I gasped for air. My eyes were glued to him, for I was afraid if I blinked, he'd disappear. We backed away from each other, just staring, wordless.
"Gomen," he said quickly.
"Iie. Don't be sorry," I told him. "I rather enjoyed it."
The second totally unguarded smile I'd ever seen on his face appeared. "Really?"
I opened my mouth to answer "yes" but my breath rushed out. I nodded instead, returning his smile.
The smile became a smirk, but he said nothing more.
Over the next two weeks we'd sneak kisses whenever possible. He was the aggressor most of the time. I didn't mind at all. Although I think he secretly liked it better when I was the aggressor. Come to think of it, so did I. But I was afraid of going to far, of pushing him away. There were things in my head I wanted to try, places on his body I wanted to touch. Unfortunately all of our meetings were public and with two weeks until graduation, I had very little time to spare.
"Are you coming over to study tonight, Hanajima?"
I nodded to Arisa. "Hai. What about you, Tohru?"
The poor girl smiled sadly. "I think I'll need all the help I can get."
"Are you having trouble with my lessons, Honda-san?" It was Yuki that asked.
"You probably used too many big words," Kyo commented, crossing his arms over his chest. He seemed satisfied with his jest until Arisa punched him in the shoulder. Hard. "OW!"
"Don't give me that look, Kyon-Kyon. You deserved it for that remark."
"I didn't mean it," he muttered, rubbing his bruised shoulder.
"Shit! I'm going to be late for a meeting," Arisa said, standing. "I'll see you guys back in class."
As usual, our lunch period was never dull. I knew it was something I would miss after graduation. My contributions to conversation were never great, but I never failed to be amused by Kyo's antics or Tohru's naivete. Even the Prince had his moments.
"Earth to Hanajima!"
"Eh?" I hadn't realized I'd been lost in my thoughts until Tohru's waving hand in front of my face reminded me where I was. "Nani?"
"I asked if you had finished the History paper," she said.
"Ah, yes. I finished it this morning."
"This morning?" Tohru asked.
"In Literature."
"But we were supposed to write a small essay about what we planned to do after graduation," Tohru said, confused.
"I did that too."
"Man, I thought I was a procrastinator." Kyo said with a smirk. "You have me beat."
"It is an art," I replied with a small smile.
Our conversation began to dwindle as we neared the period bell. But it was shouting that brought it all to an end. Momiji came running from the main school building, waving his hands frantically.
"He's here! He's here!"
What could've been mistaken for an excited shout was actually a nervous trill. Momiji ran up to us. He stopped, hands on his knees to catch his breath. He kept repeating, "He's here."
"Who?" Yuki asked.
"HE's here." Momiji emphasized "he".
Yuki and Kyo froze. I looked at Tohru, slightly surprised to see that she, too, was frozen. Did she know what was going through Yuki and Kyo's heads? She stood up quickly, looking a bit frightened.
"Akito is here?" she asked Momiji.
BA-BUMP!
The younger blond nodded.
"Why?" That question from Kyo.
"I don't know. But, I figured you'd want to know."
BA-BUMP!
"Why would Akito come to the school?" Kyo looked at Yuki. "Did you do something to anger him?"
"No." Yuki shook his head. "I haven't seen him for quite a while."
"It may be nothing," Tohru said, trying to calm both of the Souma's down.
BA-BUMP!
"Maybe we should see what he wants," Yuki replied.
"Are you nuts?!" Kyo practically shouted.
"The bell's going to ring soon," Tohru added.
BA-BUMP!
My mind blocked the rest of the conversation from there. Actually it blocked it the moment the name Akito was mentioned. I had learned, after nearly two months of not knowing, that Akito's last name was Souma. I had thought he was related to Yuki and Kyo. I hadn't asked and he never brought it up. But now, I couldn't help but wonder. Was this the same Akito? Perhaps if I didn't see him in school, I'd be able to ask him that night when we met for tea.
"I'm going to find him."
Yuki's voice slowly faded into my brain and I suddenly became alert. It looked like a fight was going to start and the period bell had started to ring. I looked at my friends and the chaos that had developed. Tohru was holding onto Kyo's left arm. Meanwhile, Momiji had grasped Yuki's left hand and was looking at him pleadingly.
"Just let him be, Yuki," Momiji whined. Odd, because I've never seen him frightened or heard him whine before. Sob, yes. Complain, yes. But whine? Not Momiji.
"You'll only get us in trouble," Kyo stated, seemingly relaxing in the care of my two friends.
"I don't care," Yuki said, turning away from us. "I'm going to find him. It could be better than the alternative."
"And what would that be?" I asked.
It was like everyone realized I was in the area for the first time. Of course, their surprised expressions could've been due to the fact that I was standing just feet away from Yuki as he turned. The distance that separated us closed quickly as I stepped forward to place a hand on his shoulder and he turned to walk away. Neither one of us is clumsy, per se, but I suppose everyone has his or her moment.
This was ours.
"Yuki no!"
"Hana-chan, watch out!"
>POOF<
And that was not the worst of it.
***********************************************
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense
***********************************************
[Akito]
The day started just as I had planned.
Breakfast was brought to my room just before eight. The maid smiled as she sat tray before me. I sat in front of my window, already dressed in a pair of black leather pants and a dark, green shirt. I nodded to her, not bothering to correct the smile on her face. In fact, as the door closed, a smile crossed my own lips and I ate in ambient silence.
I met with Kureno about some business, then had my weekly check-up with Hatori. He had changed the times of my check-ups since my mood had risen. I had no complaints because it meant less time I had to worry about planning around.
I think I should've felt guilty. My childish antics surrounding my relationship with Saki were still a secret. But as long as no one else knew, I had no issues. Save for the damned smiles I saw all around me on a daily basis. It does little for my godly image, you know.
I had used some business contacts to discover what school Saki attended. Kaiwaia High School. The same school as Yuki, that accursed cat and the silly girl. I checked with Shigure just to be sure. He made some smart comment, but I averted incident by hanging up on him. Bastard.
The driver was waiting for me around 11:30. No one questioned where I was going, although the story I told Kureno had been a blatant lie. I wonder if he figured it out then, but if he did, he never said.
After a casual drive around town, I arrived at the school just as classes were changing. The principal, a short, portly man with little hair and glasses too large for his face, met me in the front lobby and proceeded to show me around the school. Giving donations has its privileges, and since I donated the most money last year, I was given the royal treatment.
I was a bit annoyed that, after half an hour, we were still walking around the school. I wanted to see Saki. That was the reason I was there. And I had hoped that I could do it without running into Yuki or the others.
Not a chance.
One of the classrooms I was taken into was a second year room. The class was taking its lunch break, so only a few people remained in the room. It looked average to me - the room and the students. Nothing special, really. As the principal continued his annoying banter I saw a blur of blond. What was it?
It was Momiji, working on an assignment with some fellow classmates.
I'm not sure what happened after we left, but I was certain that Momiji would run off and tell Yuki and the others that I was there. I finally told the principal my business as we headed back to his office. He gave me the information I needed. Well, partially. I had to talk to several other students to discover Saki's current whereabouts. She was at lunch with friends on the lawn. Should be easy enough to find her then. Even if I didn't get to speak with her, just a glimpse would've suited me fine.
Casually I walked through the school hallways and out onto the lawn. There were several groups of students sitting, chatting and eating. I looked at each of them closely, but none of them where the group, or person, I was looking for.
Finally I heard a shout. Sounded like the stupid cat. Was he starting another fight with Yuki? The thought brought a sadistic smile to my face as I rounded a corner. Low and behold the group was there, as well as one other student, a tall, blond girl, I didn't recognize. Probably a friend of the riceball.
Then I saw her.
Saki.
Talking to Tohru.
Holding what looked like a little white rat.
And still looking so beautiful, even as my heart started to crumble into hundreds of pieces.
I turned on my heal and left.
Immediately.
I could feel my blood boiling in my veins, the pulse point in my head pounding painfully. Heartache was quickly covered by anger and anger by hate. I had never despised Yuki and Kyo, even the stupid girl, as much as I did then. I loathed them with a passion hidden deep within me.
And Saki....
/Liar!/
I wiped the tears from my eyes as the driver pulled around and I got into the car. Out of sight, out of mind. That's what I kept telling myself. I wouldn't go to meet her that night. I wouldn't go through with my plan. I wouldn't ask her anything of importance. I would never see her again.
/Traitor!/
Kami, but it hurt just to think about it.
Not only was she a friend of that stupid girl, but she knew the family secret, too.
/Bitch!/
"Home. NOW," I yelled at the driver.
He nodded. "Yes, sir."
I paid no attention to my surroundings as the car drove through town. My thoughts drowned out my emotions until there was nothing left. Just me, in the dark. Questions ran rampant through my head. Questions I had no answers to. Questions I made up answers for.
The atmosphere at the main house changed the moment I walked back through the gate. Drastically. My anger must've been clearly evident, for the servants who had been smiling stopped. The moved out of my way quickly, and they were smart enough not to say a word. One word would've meant death...and I do mean death. I may be a frail man at times, but I do know my own strength. I've killed with my bare hands before, although they've never spilled human blood.
Hatori's visit that evening had been most unpleasant, mostly for him. The tantrum I threw with my dinner was worthy of an award, although I was hardly acting. I ate nothing of my supper, or breakfast the next morning. Hatori scolded me, telling me that my health would deteriorate if I didn't eat. I simply threw whatever was closest to me at the time. Whether I hit him or not, I don't know. Didn't care.
But he was right. My health quickly deteriorated over the next week. Most days I wouldn't even get out of bed, bathe or change my clothes. I wanted to do nothing. I wanted to talk about nothing. I just wanted to be left alone to wallow in my own self-pity and miserable existence.
"You need to get out of bed at least," Hatori would tell me.
"Why should I?" I'd ask in return. "There's nothing for me to do today."
"It's unhealthy for you to remain in bed."
"And it's unhealthy for you to question me!"
"What happened to you, Akito?"
"I...it's nothing. Now go away. I wish to rest."
My mood did a total 180 as well. The servants were once again frightened of me; the girl who usually brought my breakfast cowered in the doorway every morning. Anyone who smiled around me got a beating. Anyone who didn't cower before me was fired or let go. Anyone who even thought to mention something amiss was once again in danger of death. One servant suffered a broken nose, another a broken wrist.
I tolerated nothing. I couldn't even tolerate myself.
It didn't help that I thought about her constantly. Saki. I had hoped that discontinuing my visits with her would put her out of my mind. It did almost everything else. But everything reminded me of her. Every word. Every thought. Nothing would allow me to be rid of my memory of her.
I had even considered asking Hatori to erase my memory.
It was a foolish idea really. And one that would require explanations I was not willing to give. Besides, I was not THAT weak in spirit. And the torment of my servants was actually improving my mood.
But my heart was still broken. Imagine that. Me, with a broken heart. It sounds damn near impossible. Did I even have a heart to break? Most members of my family would say no. To them I have always been coldhearted. Truthfully I am only what they made me.
I did still have a heart, even if it didn't beat like everyone else's.
And it hurt like hell.
Had she been lying to me the whole time? Consciously withholding information from me? I bet she and that silly girl had many laughs over our relationship. I was certain that Yuki and Kyo were having a good laugh as well. That was not acceptable.
Of course, part of me -- SOME part of me anyway - knew that I was going on about nothing. Saki had been totally open to me. Always. I probably withheld more information than she did. Still, my own shortcomings only served to make me angrier and my moods took on an even darker tone.
So dark, that I decided that there was only one way to change the way I felt.
One way to make the pain go away.
One way to change everything back to normal.
Something I would later regret.
"You called for me," Hatori said, entering my chambers on a sunny Wednesday morning.
"I have a task for you today," I told him. "And I want it carried out without fail."
He nodded. "What is it?"
I looked him directly in the eye and said, "I want you to bring Honda Tohru and her friend Hanajima Saki to me."
Hatori looked shocked. "May I ask...why?"
"Yuki and Kyo have been hiding something. A secret. I found out, and now they're going to pay."
Hatori swallowed hard. "The girls are in school right now."
"Be there when the final bell rings."
"And what of Yuki and Kyo."
I shrugged. "They may come along if they wish, but their punishment will come later. I must deal with the other two first."
"What did...?" He stopped himself, considering his words. It was a good move, and bold all at once. "What did they do? The girls...."
"Know the family secret," I replied, practically spitting in distaste.
His eyes widened. "Honda-san knows of course, but her friend--"
"Also knows," I added, cutting him short. "I saw it happen with my own two eyes."
"Akito--?"
"I want that stupid wench and her friend brought to me after school. No excuses!"
"What will you do--?"
"Do you really need to ask," I said, looking at him in mock surprise. "My agreement with Honda Tohru has been dissolved. She knows the penalty for failure."
"But...they are only days away from graduation--"
"Don't question me!" I huffed, tossing a pillow from my bed to the ground at Hatori's feet. I could feel my face heat up. Judging from the look on Hatori's face I was pretty worked up. He took a step back when I threw a second pillow...and a third.
"My decision is final!"
Or so I thought....
~TO BE CONTINUED~