Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Another idea that came to be out of Merrow's fanfic challenge, and oddly enough inspired by my previous story "Storm Warnings". Sadly I do not remember which chapter this follows, but it takes place about a week after Hatori walk's into Mayuko's parents' bookstore. Kind of a triangle between Shigure, Mayuko and Hatori. Takes place roughly two days AFTER part five. This part is told from Shigure's POV.

**********************************

Could you look me in the eye?
and tell me that you`re happy now,
come on tell it to my face or have i been replaced,
are you happy now?

- Michelle Branch, "Are you happy now?"

**********************************

And here I am...again.

There seemed to be little point in it, but I found myself walking though town only two days AFTER I saw Ha-san and Mayuko together. Part of me wanted to ignore it. Another part of me fretted over it. And an even smaller part of me was angry about it.

Angry? Why was I angry?

Well for starters, Ha-san wouldn't tell me any details of their "date". He wouldn't even call it a "date". When he spoke about it, he referred to it as "their evening" and the two of them "had a wonderful time." It was just like old times, he said. I had a hard time believing that because he and Mayu rarely talked in the old days.

Of course, that was partially my doing. The rest was his engagement to Kana.

Still, I had a hard time imagining it and that only made my anger boil. I wanted details! Was that too much to ask of a friend?

Secondly I was angry because...well because I realized that, despite what intentions I previously may have had towards Mayu, I wanted her. Sure our relationship had been a convenience for us both, but I'd like to think that maybe something else was there. I thought there may have been on her part.

And I only recently realized that there was something there on mine.

Shit! Why didn't I see that before?

I wallowed over that very question for two whole days. After I saw them leave the bookstore together, watched Ha-san's car pull away from the curb, I turned on my heel and walked home.

I didn't want to admit to myself at that moment but I was jealous. Utterly, purely and almost insanely jealous. I still don't want to admit it. There's no reason for me to be, is there?

Like I said, I had my shot.

Tohru, Yuki and Kyo were all surprised to see me coming home late. I don't blame them since I hadn't left a message indicating where I would be. I put in my usually amount of teasing and charm at the dinner table, which set me at ease for all of an hour.

I spent the rest of the night in my study, laying on my back on my futon, wondering where I had gone wrong in my life.

Where I had gone wrong with Mayuko.

Like I really needed the recap.

I called Ha-san the next morning. He sounded extremely happy over the phone. There was a certain ring in his voice that I haven't heard in such along time. I'm not sure if it's love, but it is some form of happiness.

He's happy now.

Is Mayu?

Perhaps that's why I'm walking towards that corner bookstore. My curiosity always gets the better of me, just ask any of the young wards living at my house. I have to know for myself. If she's happy -- if she's finally gotten what she wanted all along -- then I'll be happy for her. No question.

Or maybe I'm still hoping I have a chance.

Ah, the dreams of youth...and the perverted visions of old men.

I sigh, forcing the tension in my shoulders to relax as I reach for the door. I'm surprised when it opens on it's own. I'm equally surprised by who's standing on the other side. We stare at each other a moment, letting the shock take it's course.

"Shigure?"

"Ha-san," I manage to say amiably, the smile on my face a bit forced. "Come to pick up a new book?"

"Iie," he says, running a hand through his hair. "Actually, I came in to see Mayuko."

"Mayuko's working today?" I hadn't known if she was indeed working, but I had, of course, been hoping.

"Hai," he answers, a genuine smile gracing his lips. When was the last time I saw him smile like that. Ah yes. Kana. "Ano...what are you doing here?"

"I came in to place an order," I lie. Well, it's not a total lie. I COULD place an order, even though I told Juri I'd been in next week to do the same.

"Did you walk all this way?"

"Hai, hai."

"Then let me give you a ride back," Ha-san replies, holding the door open for me. "I'll be waiting at that corner cafe you love so much."

"It's not really necessary Ha-san," I reply, genuinely surprised...and pleased. "I can walk home."

"You want to know the details, don't you?"

I blink, stunned by the smirk that appears on his lips. Did he just say 'details'? "Ara...?"

"You didn't think I was going to tell you over the phone, did you?"

I shake my head. "No, I suppose you wouldn't." So I am going to get the details. Well, at least that will make the day a little better. "I'll meet you at the cafe then. Say fifteen minutes?"

"Hai," Ha-san replies with a nod. "And if you're not there I'll leave without you."

"Hai, hai, Ha-san."

We wave to each other as he takes off and I enter the store.

I'm not even in the store a second when I hear, "What are YOU doing here?"

I look over to the counter, giving the young woman standing by the cash register a look of mock hurt. "I came to place an order."

She blinks, uncertain if I'm telling the truth. "You could've done that two days ago."

I try not to sigh, nodding instead. So Juri did tell her that I had come in to see her. Why am I not surprised? "Hai, but I wasn't sure what I wanted. I'm certain now, so I'll place the order now."

The seriousness in my voice must've caught her off guard. I know it caught me off guard. I covered it up, however with a large smile. She sighs, shaking her head in response.

"Let me get the order forms," she says, stepping from behind the counter. I watch her walk away until she disappears into the back room. She emerges only moments later, a large pad in hand.

"How many this time?"

"Three," I reply, recalling the names completely from the list Juri had shown me. I give her the names and authors and she scribbles it down quickly on the pad. Her handwriting isn't as neat as I would've thought. Strange that I never noticed.

"I hear you and Ha-san had a 'date' two nights ago," I say, causing her to lose her train of thought and spelled one of the titles wrong. She muttered under her breath, crossing it out and starting over.

"I suppose you want to know detail," she replies with a frown.

"No, no," I reply, knowing I'll hear them later. "I just wanted to know if you had a good time. Ha-san doesn't get out much and I wanted to make sure he didn't take you to some backwater restaurant or bar."

Her frown slowly turns into a smile. "Well, he may not get out much, but he does know how to treat a lady," she replies. "At least he took me to a restaurant and not a noodle cart for our first date."

I'd taken her to a noodle cart on our first date because none of the restaurants I liked were available. Honestly I'm surprised she remembered. "It was a classy noodle cart," I said defensively. "Besides, none of the restaurants were accepting customers without reservations. I had to think of something."

She puruses the sheet to check for errors. "Uh-huh."

"It's true," I say pleadingly. I'm feeling very much the fool, although it was a long time ago. "But you had a good time, anyway. I know you did."

She smiles, nodding. "Yeah I did."

"May I ask you a serious question, Mayu?"

She nods again, not looking up from the form as she finishes filling it out.

"Are you happy?"

She does not even hesitate to answer, "Hai. I'm very happy. Happier than I've been in a while." She separates the top copy of the form from the carbon and hands me the lower portion. "What about you, Shigure? Are you happy?"

Am I happy? Right this instant?

No. But at least I know where I stand.

And I'll get to hear the 'details' of their date.

Crap, how much time do I have left? Ha-san WILL leave without me.

I should just come out and tell her how I feel, but I can't. Never in a million years. I may never even be able to admit the truth to myself.

"Arigato, Mayuko-san," I reply instead, taking my copy of the form from her without looking her in the eye. I finally realize how she felt those years ago. And damn does it ever hurt. But I won't fall victim to it like she did. Life will go on. It must.

She's happy. Ha-san is happy. And I will be happy for them both.

"Shigure--?"

But she doesn't get to finish. I already have the door open. I force a smile to my face and offer her a friendly wave of my hand. Then I disappear through the doorway, the door closing with a soft click behind me.

~TO BE CONTINUED~

MUSIC DISCLAIMER:
Lyrics are from the song "Are you happy now?" from the album Hotel Paper by Michelle Branch. (c)2003 Maverick records.