Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Another idea that came to be out of Merrow's fanfic challenge, and oddly enough inspired by my previous story "Storm Warnings". Sadly I do not remember which chapter this follows, but it takes place about a week after Hatori walk's into Mayuko's parents' book store. Kind of a triangle between Shigure, Mayuko and Hatori. I'd tell you the end result but that would be...well, telling. ^_~ Can two men really compete for the heart of one woman, especially when that woman's heart is already decided? Or is it? This part told from Hatori's POV.

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You took all there was to take,

And left me with an empty plate

And you don't care about it.

And I am giving up this game

And leaving you with all the blame 'cause I don't care

-Michelle Branch, "Are You Happy Now?"

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What the hell did I just do?!

You asked her out, baka.

But that's not what I meant to say.

It's exactly what you meant to say.

She's a friend of Kana's!

She's a beautiful, attractive, and intellectual woman!

Kami help me.

This isn't the first time my thoughts start an argument in my head. In the hour since I arrived home from town, they've actually started tossing funny looks at each other. Quite honestly I am starting to get annoyed.

I don't know what possessed me to ask Mayuko to dinner tonight. A large part of it, I think, is due to the fact that she is a friend. Someone I can talk to outside the family. It's been a while since I could carry on a decent conversation with someone other than anther Sohma. That's not to say that I hate my cousins, it's just that...well, Ayame's head is too high up in the clouds and Shigure...well, I'd just rather not divulge anything too personal to the inu. He'll end up finding some way to use it against me, I'm certain.

To help keep my mind clear of my intentions -- whatever those may be -- I busy myself with preparing for the evening ahead. There was the matter of attire. But that couldn't be decided on until a dining location was chosen. I feel myself sigh as I page through the phone book. I truly wish if this HAD been my intent, I would've planned it a little better.

Honestly, I've never really been the spontaneous type.

Five phone calls and the start of a migraine later, I finally have a reservation for two at the Gintei restaurant. The woman on the other end of the line was most gracious compared to the first four people I talked to. I've never eaten there before, but I understand that they make delicious sukiyaki. I rarely eat beef, but tonight seems like a good occasion.

'And what occasion would that be,' my mind wonders.

'Perhaps your first date in over two years,' comes the answer.

Don't you wish you could strangle your inner demons sometimes?

Tossing their arguments to the side, I make my way to my room to figure out what to where. My closet is nearly empty and the pile of clothing to be washed is overflowing. Do I have enough time to do laundry? Probably, but it's just one more thing to worry about then, isn't it?

I pull a clean shirt from my closet deciding, after ten minutes of searching, to leave on the khaki pants I was already wearing. I didn't really need to change clothes, but it felt...wrong wearing that teal colored shirt. Especially on a...a date.

It had been a gift from Kana.

My answer to Mayuko's question had been an honest one. Yes, I'm still in love with Kana. She may forget what we had, but I will not. As much as I want to sometimes, I can not.

Akito, as always, had been unforgiving and Kana, as much as I reassured her, wouldn't stop blaming herself for the injury to my eye. It functions normally, although the retina cannot process images like it used to. I'm half blind, really, but it wasn't Kana's fault. Really it wasn't. I'd have been happy to take a knife through the heart for her if it came down to it. I couldn't bare to lose her.

And in the end, despite my valiant efforts, she chose to leave me.

It wasn't so much that I had to erase her memory than the fact that she had asked me to do it. That, more than anything, tears at my heart. Or what's left of it.

I haven't considered dating since. I'm half afraid that the same scenario will occur. Actually, I'm totally scared shitless the same thing will happen. I couldn't take it if it did. I'd have to do something very drastic, perhaps even stupid, but I know I can not live with the pain again.

I don't want to.

Which brings me back to an earlier question. Why did I ask Mayuko to dinner?

I know I've already explained myself, but my demons love hearing me repeat myself. They feed off of the self-loathing. The pain. The heartbreak.

'The agony of defeat,' one responds with a maniacal smile.

Mayuko is a wonderful woman. I wish I knew her better, but at the time I'd met her, I was already dating Kana. Now, I know that doesn't excuse the fact that i didn't get to know her well, but that is my excuse. I had eyes only for Kana and I made an effort to get along with her friends. That was it.

But now...Mayuko's appearance hasn't changed much, but she looks...well for the lack of being a gentlemen I'd have to say she looks rather hot. She takes care of herself and I like that in a woman. She's also very intelligent despite the tomboyish exterior she often exudes. I'd heard Tohru mention her as her homeroom teacher before but gave it so little thought. So she was working...a sign of responsibility. She helps out her folks at the bookstore too. Reliabilty and a willingness to help others.

Kami knows I certainly may need the help.

I'm building a pretty good case for myself here. Perhaps asking her out wasn't such a bad idea after all. No one said it has to lead to anything, ne? It will be nice to talk to her, reminisce about old times, get to know her a little better.

'Maybe get laid.'

I'll ignore that comment for now.

Although, I suppose it wouldn't be a bad thing.

Shit, what am I thinking? I'm not Shigure!

At the thought of my cousin I stop myself again. Mayuko and Shigure did date for a short period of time while Kana and I were engaged. I know they broke it off mutually but I never knew why. They seemed to get along well enough. And kami knows Shigure needed the occasional smack upside the head she gave him.

Still, I wonder what Shigure would make of me taking Mayuko to dinner. Surely he wouldn't be angry about it. But in all honesty, I never knew how he felt towards her. If he still harbors any kind of feelings for her....Oh what am I thinking?! I asked her to dinner and she said yes. We're not joined at the hip or engaged. Shigure can't say anything...at least not yet.

"Ah! Hari looks very sharp! Does he have a date tonight?"

My eyes blink rapidly as I realize I'm not alone in my room anymore. When I can focus I see Momiji standing in the doorway. Jovial as always, he smiles widely at me, awaiting an answer.

"Why yes, actually I do, Momiji." I finish buttoning my shirt and look at him questioningly. "Did you need something, Momiji?"

"Tohru had asked about some more medicine for Yuki. It seems his illness is acting up again."

"I'll bring some by the house tomorrow. Could you tell her for me?"

"Hai!" And he bounces away. I'm not sure how he does it, but I suppose that all that energy needs an outlet of some kind. I turn around, thinking I'm alone when I hear Momiji say, "Good luck on your date, Hari!"

At least he didn't yell it through the courtyard on his way back to his room. He's surprisingly adept at times. It's quite amazing. And I'm very thankful.

After straightening up my office and taking care of some paperwork, I hear the clock strike five. I busy myself for a few more minutes, more to calm my nerves than to accomplish a specific task. Finally, at about twenty after five, I head to my car and start the trek in town.

Three lights and about ten minutes later, I'm afraid I'm going to be late. Traffic is horrid this time of day and I berate myself for not leaving sooner. Still I did not want to arrive too early. Then again, I hate being late.

Driving through the shopping district is a hazard in itself. There are more people than cars on the streets here. Yet I'm surprised that business is not booming. Of course, I may be too early for the rush which is just as well.

At one stop light, my eyes wonder over to a little coffee shop on the corner. There's nothing of interest to note, save for one thing. I could've sworn I saw Shigure sitting at a table and reading the paper. What would he be doing in this part of town so late in the day? It dawns on me that he probably visited the bookstore. He is a regular customer after all.

What if Mayuko told him about our date?

'So it's a date now huh?'

Sighing I shake my head. Traffic moves on and I pay attention to nothing but the car in front of me. I can hear the little demons snicker and carry on in the back of my mind.

Yes, I say to appease them, this is a date.

And suddenly all is quiet.

There's a parking space across the street from the bookstore and I take it with a smile. Available parking on the street is very rare, and it'll be less of a walk, not that I'm against exercise. But if Mayuko's wearing heels.... I pause at that thought, realizing that I never asked what she wanted to eat or what she should wear. This, on top of my already frazzled nerves, is not helping my composure any.

At least I'm not late.

Out of the car, I make sure it is locked before crossing the street and entering the book store. The bell above the door rings as I step through and I notice two things right away. The first is that Juri is no where to be seen. She must've left already.

The second is that Mayuko looks stunning in a dark blue blouse with a matching, lighter colored skirt. It looks like silk. Tasteful but probably not expensive. I have to work to hide the stupid grin trying to appear on my face.

"Hatori-san, you're early," she says with a smile. Her attention is drawn away for a moment, counting the cash in the cash drawer. When she's finished, she looks up at me again. "I should be finished here in a minute. I'd offer you a seat, but I'm afraid I'd have to dust a chair off for you."

"Quite all right," I manage to respond without sounding unusual or odd. There's a lump in my throat that's trying to make a fool of me. "Need any help?"

"No, thanks." She puts the cash in the drawer and scribbles something on a piece of paper. She then picks up the cash drawer and carried it with her towards the back room. "I just need to put his away. I'll be right back."

I nod to her, a small smile finally appearing on my face as she disappears into the back room. My jumpy nerves are making me even more nervous. I shouldn't BE nervous, should I? We were just going to dinner. Nothing more...unless it was warranted.

And after seeing her in that silk outfit, I'm sincerely hoping that more will be warranted.

Shit, there I go again!

"You ready?"

When I look up (when was I looking down?), she's standing right there. And I mean, right there. Directly beside me, with little more than a foot of air separating us. Her smile is somewhat shy, but friendly. I manage a not-too-dopey grin of my own and offer her my arm. She seems surprised, but it lasts for a second. Whether or not anything develops tonight, and despite my less than pure thoughts, I strive to be a gentleman. She accepts my arm, her fingers tentatively grasping my elbow.

"Let's go then," I reply, leading her to the door.

I will not repeat the mistakes of my past.

I will not allow my heart to break.

And I will not...WILL NOT...break the heart of another.

Kami, help me.

I'm going on a DATE!

~TO BE CONTINUED~

MUSIC DISCLAIMER:
Lyrics are from the song "Are you happy now?" from the album Hotel Paper by Michelle Branch. (c)2003 Maverick records.