| Weeks 21 - 22 3/31/02 - 4/13/02 |
| The night before Easter Sunday, 3/30, I woke up in the middle of the night with really really bad cramping... it was coming and going and I thought it was contractions so I almost had Jim take me to the ER but then I went to the bathroom a couple of times with yucky diarreha (sorry!) and they subsided a bit..... I was able to sleep a couple of more hours.... I woke up and felt ok just a light cramping, but as soon as I got up out of bed they got bad again.... so I took it easy and then it again just went to a light cramp (just like menstrual cramping) I thought maybe it was because we took my nieces to the mall Saturday and I was out and about and maybe over did the walking.... plus the mall was hot and stuffy so I was thirsty and maybe didn't drink enough.... So Easter Sunday, we first went to the cemetary to bring Faith some tulips and check on her Easter tree (we converted her Christmas tree into an Easter tree with Egg ornaments and a cute bunny on top!). Then we went to my parents house and I took it easy there... but the cramping was there all day it never went away at all... sometimes it would be worse than others but it never got as severe as it was Saturday night.... so I didn't call the doctor because I didn't want to spend Easter in the ER... we checked the baby's heartbeat a couple of times and the baby has been moving so I decided to wait and see how I felt after a better night's sleep..... Sunday night was better, but I still woke up with some light cramping.... but again as soon as I got up out of bed they kicked in bad.... and then they were on and off and I had a little diarreha again!! They were also affecting my back... making it really sore.... and the area that I would consider my ovaries on both sides was killing me!! I was so uncomfortable all around! Monday morning first thing I called the doctor, and they wanted to see me right away. I just couldn't believe this was happening!! What if my cervix was dialating and I was in pre-term labor! It is too early for the baby to be saved if anything happens! We got to the doctor and I saw the nurse first, people always seem to know the perfect time to say the worst things! The nurse took my Blood Pressure (which was high... it is NEVER high but she figured it was from me being nervous and upset).... and then she says "Why didn't you call this weekend?" ... I said well, I decided I would wait to see how things went... so she says... "Well that's why doctors are on call ya know" really snotty... and I said well it was coming and going and I just wasn't sure... so she continues pushing the issue... "Well you really should have called"... I just looked at her.. and didn't say anything... then she just HAD to add "God forbid something is wrong!!!!" ....well that was it... I lost it... I walked into the exam room in tears.... Jim was there waiting and after she left the room I just bawled while we waited for the doc... I felt like the worst mother ever... the feeling of guilt was unbearable... I kept thinking what if something is wrong and it's all my fault for not calling sooner! I couldn't stop crying and it brought all of my memories of losing Faith back and the guilt of wondering what if we had gotten to the doctor why she was still alive. What if something is wrong with the baby and I waited til it was too late again! It took so long to get over the feelings of "it was my fault" with Faith and in just a few short moments with that nurse, it was all back. I was crying when the doctor came in, I couldn't stop. I just told her I was scared. We went through my weekend..... she checked the heartbeat which was at a good 150 and she checked my cervix which was fine thank goodness... she said that they have been inundated at the ER with people having gastro intestional bugs...and she thinks that's what I had.... She ordered me to "Do a whole lot of nothing" for 2 days and I am supposed to drink drink drink a TON of fluids.... so I lived on the couch... Jim took 2 days off work and I called out of work so he is took great care of me and kept "watch" on me that I was relaxing... Luckily it was not my worst fears. I stayed laying down most of the time and it took about a week but finally they went away and I felt better. After the week we had had, and once again we were reassured that the baby was doing just fine, we decided that we wanted to start doing some things to get ready for the baby, in hopes that it would make us feel more positve that this little one will be coming home. The baby's little wiggle movements have also been turning into kicks! That has been a wonderful feeling, to know that the baby is getting stronger. So while Jim had the days off, he worked on putting the furniture for the nursery together. We had gotten it when we lost Faith so never put it all together. It has just been in boxes in the nursery. The room looks so much better now with the furniture in there. It looks more complete and I love to walk in there and just look around. We put some of Faith's things in there, because it was originally her room we want reminders of her in there. We also decided that it would be a good time to register! Even though it is a little early, we wanted to because we already have most of the things at home since we are keeping the same things from Faith. We went to the store and it was so much fun!!! Jim had control of the scanner!!! LOOK OUT!!!! He scanned 3 different types of bottle warmers!!! haha! I told him I had exclusive editing rights when we were done!! Because we are leaving the nursery the same, we picked out a different stroller, car seat, swing, etc. Because we didn't want to repeat everything and wanted this baby to have somethings that were picked out just for them! Afterwards we went to dinner, and the baby was kicking harder than ever that night..... It was a good day!!! |
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