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| This week I have realized that I still have days when I am "bitter" about being pregnant again. I feel like I shouldn't have to be pregnant anymore. I mean "everyone else" gets a normal 9 month pregnancy. Why should mine have to take 16 months, with enormous heartbreak in the middle, to finally bring a child safely home. It's not fair!! Some days I love being pregnant. Other days, I am so sick of pregnancy, being pregnant, thinking about being pregnant, talking about being pregnant, WORRYING, etc etc. I feel like I have been pregnant my whole life and that we are never going to get to where we are going. It has been such an all consuming part of our lives for so long now, it's time for the next step! I know it is not healthy to wish your life away, but I really wish sometimes that I could fall asleep and wake up on the baby's birth day! At the same time, I am trying to enjoy and savor every moment of this pregnancy. Like one day this week, Jim and I got out the doppler and every 6 beats or so we hear this funny noise. Then I start feeling little movements in my tummy consistent with the noises and we could see my stomach moving up and down,. We figured out our little girl had the hiccups!!! This week was the first time I had felt them. I never felt them with Faith and everyone would always tell me how neat it was when the baby has them. It was!!! And so cute. Jim also continues to be the wonderful husband he is. I was talking about going to breastfeeding class, I signed up for a class next week. He said, "Oh when do WE need to go to that again??" I said, "WE?!?" He said, "YEAH!! I am going!! I want to be a part of everything and know what you are going through!' I said, "You will probably be the only guy there" He said, "So, I don't care, I want to go" I just thought this was so wonderful!!! How many husbands out there would want to go to breastfeeding class?! I just love him!! He also wants to take a "Bringing up Baby" class, which will go over caring for a newborn... like diapering, changing, umbilical cord care. We will be going to that in July. |
| Week 31 6/9/02 - 6/15/02 |