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| The Substitute A substitute organist arrived just before worship. The pastor handed her a bulletin and said "You'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about finances." After he told parishoners roof repairs were twice what was expected, he said "We need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up." Just then, the substitute launched into the Star Spangled Banner, and that is the legend of how the substitute became the regular organist. ~The Lutheran, 5/2004 |
| The Taxi Driver A minister died and was waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Just ahead of him was a man dressed in a loud shirt, leather jacket, jeans and sunglasses. Saint Peter addressed the man wearing somewhat sloppy clothes. He said "Who are you so that I may know whether or not to let you into the Kingdom of Heaven?" The man replied "I'm Jack Thomas, Jr., taxi driva from Noo Yawk City." Saint Peter consulted his list. He smiled and said to the taxi driver "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The taxi driver went through the Pearly Gates with his robe and staff and then it was the minister's turn. He stood up tall and spoke out confidently "I am Joseph Snow. I was the pastor of Sweet Haven Community Church for the last forty-three years." Once again Saint Peter consulted his list. He then turned to the minister and said "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." "Just a minute," said the minister. "The man ahead of me was a taxi driver and he got a silken robe and a golden staff. How could this be? I don't understand." Saint Peter looked at the preacher and said "Up here, we work by results. While you preached, people slept. While Jack drove, people prayed." ~Enjoying Everyday Life, 6/2004 |
| The Trilogy Residing in a predominately Norwegian community, my brother, at a very young age, came home from Sunday School and inquired "Who is Ole Ghost?" ~David Smedal Stoughton, WI |
| Deserted Island Two men found themselves stranded on a deserted island. Frantic, the first man began to gather firewood, build shelter and plan for a way to get off the island. The second man lay on the beach, arm outstretched, enjoying the beautiful weather. "Are you only going to work on your tan and not help me with building a shelter?!" asked first man. "Yup" replied the second man. "But we're stranded here; we need to find provisions!" was the protest. "Hey, I make $100,000 a year; we'll be fine" the second man casually replied. "But how is your salary going to help us when we're stranded on an island?" the first man asked, flustered. The second man responded: "I also tithe to my church: my pastor will certainly find me!" |