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O ye of little faith We got ourselves spiffied up a bit and went out. It was quite hot on Tuesday night, so we were very relieved to be seated outside on the balcony, where the sea breeze kept us cool all night. I ordered a vegetarian combo, which was a cheese quesadilla, a bean burrito and a bean tostada. This would have been heavenly to me if the refried beans were a better quality. But they were terrible, so I didn't enjoy them so much. P had a chicken and beef combo, and wasn't real fussed with it either. We decided to end our disappointing dinner with my new favourite dessert - gelato. Boysenberry has always been one of my favourite ice-cream flavours, so I thought I'd try it in gelato. It was so amazing, that I decided when I finally live on my dream farm, I am adding boysenberries to my list of fruits to grow. All in all we had a wonderful evening and talked about perhaps having our personal Valentine's Day on February 1st every year. Of course next year, I'm not sure that we'll go out for Mexican. Anyway, a total change of subject now. I have been struggling for awhile with seeing "the big picture". I feel like things just seem to be going wrong, and yesterday was the last straw for me. I have felt lonely a lot recently, and I know some other loved ones are feeling the same way. I often wonder why God would send people into my life who I form such close friendships with, only to have them have to leave and live on the other side of the world. I wonder why he would give my parents such a beautiful house for only a short time, and then have them have to leave it. Yesterday afternoon we had a massive hailstorm, with hailstones ranging in size from golf balls to tennis balls (pictures here). They were huge, and although it was amazing to watch, they did a lot of damage. Our car was under cover and the house was fine, but my parent's car, as well as LJ's (uninsured) got dinged all over. I had to go to mum and dad's place to borrow their blender to make dinner since ours was broken, and when I saw their cars I was so angry. They just don't need stress like this on top of trying to sell the house and dad looking for work. I had a bit of a cry on Dan's shoulder about how I couldn't see God's plan in all this, and why does bad stuff keep happening. He is a fantastic big little brother and just hugged me and made me feel somewhat better. But then, when we were eating dinner (I ended up staying and feeding the whole family) he told me that Scott's car was broken into and his freebord stolen. "See, where is God in all of this" was my response. To (try) and cut a long story short, of course you know everything seemed to scream His presence at me after that. My dad whispered the most amazing thing in my ear that made me feel so loved. I hope he doesn't mind me sharing, but I want to remember it. He told me he would crawl on his belly across cut glass before he saw anything happen to my faith. Mum told me God was clearly at work because I had brought them dinner when she was too stressed to organise something for them. Even more amazing was it was vegetarian and Dan went back for seconds! When we arrived at church, a little late, some of the first words I heard being sung were "There is a God, He is alive". And then the lesson was about how God wants the best for our souls, but sometimes we have to find strength through adversity. Talk about speaking to me. I got a bit teary when He just seemed to be showing Himself to me everywhere, and then Judy saw I was crying and came and hugged me and made sure I was ok. I have no doubt in my mind that God is active in our lives. I'm not sure that I every really "doubted". I just find it hard to see how this is all going to pan out. I am trying to be patient with some other things in my life at the moment. I just need to learn that things happen in His time, not mine. Any and all prayers are much appreciated! |
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