I bought this pack of sea monkeys to raise them. First day and they're already looking for handouts. Clean water? What am I, social security???
DAY 2
Well it's the second day and all I can see in their freakin tank is cloudiness. Whoop dee doo.
DAY 3
Okay, so I see the bastards. They're really tiny and they swim around. Actually, they are kinda cute. I named some of them; Swimmy, Tiny, and Scaley.
DAY 4
Okay, so I'm keeping up my end of the bargain. I feed them and they grow. Well they're getting a little bigger. I can make out the faces on five of them.
DAY 5
So there I am, looking into the tank, and Swimmy gives me the middle finger. Bastards!!!
DAY 6
I, the idiot that I am, accidently leave a sandwich by the tank. When I get back, there they are, smiling at me, with mayo on their faces. What the fuck?!?!
DAY 7
Today, Scaley escaped. I looked everywhere, but he's gone. I just know he's waiting to bust the others out.
DAY 8
Yep, I was right. Swimmy and Tiny are gone now too. Well, I said forget about it, and went to watch TV. To my surprise, it wouldn't work. Upon closer examination, I found tiny bite marks.
DAY 9
This morning I found a note on my pillow. In sloppy hand writing it said, "Free the others or pay!" Now I'm scared.
DAY 10
Today I got up to feed my dog. I looked for him everywhere, but he's gone.
DAY 11
On my bed I found another note, and attached to it was a tuft of my dog's hair. The note read, "This time we mean it. Free the others or Fido gets it!" This means war.
DAY 12
I have found their hiding spot, under the radiator in the living room. They are hiding there with my dog as a hostage and will not release him until I have freed the other sea monkeys.
DAY 13
In response to the kidnapping of my dog, I have now taken a small sea monkey from their tank hostage. I have announced that I will give them 48 hours to release my dog before I start pulling the sea monkey's limbs off. (Of course this is only a bluff, because I would need a magnifying glass and tweezers to do this, which I am not too happy about.)
DAY 14
Scaley has come out from under the radiator with an announcement: "Do whatever you want to the damn hostage; It's a sacrifice for the good of the cause!!!!!"
Heartless bastards! (Actually it's a good thing because I already accidentally squished it.)
DAY 15
Swimmy has announced that in 24 hours, they are going to kill my dog. Also, they are armed.
DAY 16
That's it. I have decided to go in. I grabbed a 9 mm shotgun and pulled the radiator cover off. Suddenly bullets were flying. I was able to pick off Swimmy, but one of Tiny's bullets hit me in the leg. I lay there, unmoving. I thought all was lost as I watched them carry away my dog. Suddenly, the front door opened up. "Who the hell?" A monkey walked in, a monkey... wearing shoes!!! He yelled "I am Seechee, and you sea monkeys are DEAD!!!" He pulled out a semi-automatic and began to fire. Tiny quickly became a splatter of green goo on the wall, followed by Scaley. Well, that was it for those little fuckers. I dumped the rest of them down the drain, and I implore you: Please do not buy sea monkeys. They are more trouble than they're worth.
PS-They put that monkey to sleep.
that every year, 500 human 5 month old little babies are eaten alive by sea monkeys?
(Submitted by Christian E.)