2001

  2001 ExFL NEWS ARCHIVES

ExFL launches attacks against McKay... media black out in effect

ASSOCIATED PRESS - The United States launched simultaneous attacks against Afghanistan and the McKay regime this week, in an attempt to rid the world of terrorism and Jim McKay. McKay is the alleged leader of a world wide fantasy football corruption regime and is wanted dead or alive for the numerous conspiracies he has brought forth with his involvement in the ExFL this season. 

Military officials were reluctant to give specifics about this weeks attacks upon the McKay regime, but reports and unofficial photographs show McKay's Las Vegas residence was reduced to rubble early Sunday morning.

"Jim McKay was working at his home and left 15 minutes before the strikes began," said an unidentified McKay supporter.  "Mr. McKay is alive and well.  We will never hand him over to the United States without proof of any wrongdoing on his part.  The ExFL's allegations are just plain stupid, arrogant, and silly."  The man would not disclose McKay's current location. 

As the ExFL prepared for Week 5, it has placed a tight grip upon any news that is released to the media.

"We have a responsibility to protect the personnel that is involved in the operations to root out and bring Mr. McKay to justice," said an ExFL official.  "From now until further notice, all ExFL players, personnel, owners, and fans will be unavailable to the press for interviews or comments concerning the McKaygate Scandals or league operations."

When asked if he thought these restrictions were going a little too far, the official responded "no comment." 

When asked if ExFL games would continue to be played this weekend, the official responded "no comment."

When asked if not announcing that games would still be played could be financial suicide for the league, the official responded, "no comment."

When asked what he thought about Jim McKay, the official responded, "I think he's gay….uh…I mean, no comment."

Only one ExFL player would comment on this weeks actions and restrictions put on by the league.

"This is America, man," said Vegas Corruption running back Thomas Jones. "If I want to talk to you guys I will. I'm protected by the constitution!"

Jones was released by the Corruption Thursday.

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