I finally decided to go back home and call some friends so that I could do something and get Laidie and Taylor off of my mind. The whole walk all I could think about was Laidie and Taylor and then who I had kissed last night. I was like so fucking fixated on it that I was going all insane and shit. I needed to get out and think about something else.
I guess I didn't wait long enough to go home, because what I witnessed when I got there was something that I most likely didn't want to see. I walked upstairs to find Laidie standing in the bathroom door handing Taylor a towel and Taylor was fucking naked. I was quite happy though that his penis looked about the size of Mackie's, our little brother, and that he looked a little embarrassed. Then as if Taylor knew I was there laughing at him, he pulled Laidie around and kissed her. Laidie apparently didn't know what to do and they both ended up looking very awkward. Before Laidie could go back into our room I went in and laid down on my bed. I wanted to surprise her.
"He's so weird..." Laidie said, talking to herself. She stopped as soon as she saw me lying on my bed.
"Hello Laidie." I said with a phony friendliness that I know just crushed her.
"Hi Zac. Look, I really want to talk." She started, but I didn't want to hear what she had to say.
"It's kind of cold outside today, you know? Yeah, well I just took a nice long walk and now I'm fucking freezing. I guess I maybe should have taken a coat. But we all make mistakes." I said, really randomly. I didn't even know where I was headed with that statement, but it sure as hell wasn't where Laidie thought I was headed. She started smiling as soon as I said that.
"Are you trying to say that you forgive Taylor and I, Zac? Because I know that what we did was a mistake. It probably embarrassed the shit out of you and it obviously pissed you off. But I just want to say that it was a mistake and I'm sorry." She was trying to be nice, really she was, but it was too bad that she was lying to me. She was looking me in the eye and fucking lying to me. It pissed me off more than her giving Taylor head.
"Laidie, you are so full of shit! My God! I just saw you and Taylor in the bathroom! You went in there while he was naked, and I dunno if you noticed but his Dick was minuscule, and you....you two kissed...again. So don't give me that bullshit Laidie, I don't need it." I look back now and think that I may have been too hard on the girl, but right then I felt like she deserved everything I was giving to her and more.
"Zac, please don't let this ruin our friendship! I love you with all my heart and I don't want this to ruin anything. You are the best friend I have ever had. I thought I meant something to you too. You thought it was funny when I did stuff with other guys, but now all of a sudden it's a sin for me to hook up with someone just because it's your brother or something? God Dammit, Zac! Just tell me what I can do to fix things? What do I have to do to make things normal again?" She was crying now, but I felt no pity for her.
"You want to know what you can do? You can choose right now, Taylor or me?"
"You're giving me an ultimatum for our friendship? How can you be so heartless, so juvenile? I don't know what is going on with Taylor and I, but I do know that I could use some help from my best guy friend to help me figure it out! Shit, I'm so lost without you, Zac. Don't you see that it has only been a day and already I am falling apart without you?" She sure did have the water works going strong now. Laidie has always been the dramatic one. Her and Taylor both now that I think about it. Okay, lets not go there.
"What about what I thought was happening between us before the whole tour? What about that Laidie? You kissed me and I felt something and you said you did too. What happened with that?" She looked shocked when I said this, almost like she had forgotten.
"Zac, I....I don't know what to say to that. That was the first time I had ever gotten high. I was feeling so many different things that I must have been confused. I confused my feelings of love for you as my best friend with feelings of passionate love. I thought you didn't even remember that night, I mean you never mentioned it."
"I didn't mention it because I left the day after it happened. On the phone you acted like nothing had changed, so I didn't want to say anything, but I thought that once I got back from tour and everything, we could start something. You are just confused because Taylor does that to girls. He has charm and a smile that kills you innocent females, but me, I have heart. You know that, deep down, you know that. You know that you want me, but you are being hypnotized by his smile, that's got to be it. Here, I will show you." I grabbed her and kissed her, she started kissing me back at first, I think merely out of confusion, and then violently pushed me away.
"No Zac! This cannot happen! I don't have those feelings for you, we are friends!"
"No, apparently we aren't. If we were friends you wouldn't have done that. You wouldn't have pushed me away so violently and hatefully. I love you, Laidie. Even if you didn't feel anything between us in that kiss, you have to understand that I did. And a real friend would respect that, I mean, they wouldn't be so cruel about it." I had nothing left to say to her, so I started to walk out.
"Wait, Zac! Isn't there anyway we can work it out? Anything so that we can still be friends?" She was practically begging me.
"I don't think so, Laidie, I don't think so." Then I went downstairs, leaving her to cry. Oh, well I'm sure she found comfort in the arms of my brother, blech, make me sick.
So, after the catastrophe in my bedroom I made some phone calls, but Zhay was the only one home, so I went over there. I figured if anything would help, it would be smoking with Zhaina. She and I always have the best time together, especially when high. So I headed out, but this time I took my coat, and I did not intend on returning for as long as I could stay away.
