All pieces written by Wilfrid Wong ([email protected]).
What If February
23, 1997
A Few
Random Thoughts (1) February 12, 1997
Yet Some Other Thoughts (2) - Valentine February 14, 1997
Go to Wilfrid's eHome front page
Today we are going to do
something different. We will play a little game of "What If".
Just one simple rule. We must think of something not quite happen
in this century, but a little bit closer to the reality. And
hopefully, every "What If" will lead you to some deep
thoughts.
[1]
One day I was having my regular visit to my aunt's place and
somehow we talked about feminism in ancient China. Of course I am
aware of the Chinese term "Three Follow" (direct
translation) but was not sure its real meaning. And she
enlightened me.
1. To follow [i.e. obey] your father at home (before married)
2. To follow your husband when you are married
3. To follow your son when you are old (widowed)
That pretty much conclude a woman's life back in ancient China (or
does it still happen now?) It kind of made a strike on my mind.
As the handle is spinning towards the other extreme nowadays, we
may have :-
1. To follow your mother at home
2. To follow your wife when you are married
3. To follow your daughter when you are divorced
What if the above hypotheses happen in the coming future and
become the general phenomenon?
Been browsing one 63 pages article by Ellen Spertus (MIT Computer
Scientist), titled "Why are there so few female computer
scientists?". One research on biological differences showed
that men tend to have superior spatial ability, while women have
superior verbal ability. Then again, the article claimed that the
social bias influenced mankind begin in childhood (sexual
stereotype) like the different kinds of toys that are given to
boys and girls when they were young. However, the article
stresses the point that the interplay between biological and
social influences is not yet understood
What if, starting from the next generation, girls are given
masculine toys while boys are given feminine toys like dolls to
play with? Or shall we have some "neutral" toys? Think
about it.
[2]
What if one day you find that you have been working too hard,
long for a holiday, walk along the street and spot the following
advertisement outside your favorite travel agency?
What? Space Disneyland?
So you enter and make an inquiry. A friendly staff explains to
you that this package comprises of :-
So you ask if the package covers everything you need and she suggested that you should at least acquire the following things.
What a nice "What If",
isn't it?
[3]
This is one of my favorite. Some of my friends have heard about
it but I just have to go through it once again.
What if the statistic today (1997) shows that AIDS is the number
one killing disease and we have not reached the Plastic Age yet
assuming that missing or skipping the Plastic Age has no great
impact to our world and technology (hence everything stays pretty
much the same)?
Just think about it. That means condom, is yet to be or never
will be invented. What will happen to the general morality of
humanity? What will happen to the profession of prostitution.
I always have the following hallucination.
In the world of darkness. In the world of fear. A killing disease
has infected many mankind as we have slowly slipped towards the
base of the Death of Pyramid. A group of elite, armed with the
most advance AIDS detecting machine, emerged. They called
themselves (not Judge Dread) the Federal Anti-AIDS Group (FAG).
Their noble task is to identify the Virus Carriers and tattoo the
non-erasable phrase "AIDS Victim" on their chests,
backs and gender areas. It was a good intention so as to prevent
any more people from contracting this virus but had somehow set
the whole nation in chaos. Raping rate shot up and there was a
lot of violent outbreak.
What a horrible nightmare!
[4]
If any of you can invent something that comprises of the
following elements, you could be very rich. Set aside the
contribution you are going to make to the entire world.
What if a substitute of cigarette
is found? One thing for sure is that the cigarette companies will
try all means in order to prevent it from happening and your
income tax (or others) will go up as the government can no longer
sustain without the fat cigarette tax. One last thing is, you
could be very rich.
[5]
What if all the endangered species have extinct today? This left
only the domestic pets and those mean to be eaten. (Why cockroach
can never be endangered at all?) What impact will it make to our
day to day work or life in general?
Of course our animal lovers will be very depressed. But our life
is so dry and human orientated that such a disaster will probably
have no impact at all. Quite a few people who spend their life
saving those endangered species will lose their job. Our modern
dictionary will have lesser vocabularies and we have lesser words
to memorize. I mean who can actually tell me all the different
species of dinosaur?
But one good suggestion is that those who have lost their job due
to our indifference and selfishness can gather together and open
an "Extinct Species Museum".
[6]
Warning to the readers. This one is quite gross and scary, so
please feel free to skip it.
A redefinition of the Meaning of Life. What if our world becomes
like this?
As technology advanced, scientists are now able to select those
sperms and eggs who will contribute a healthy and smart living
being. Whether all the babies are "generated" using
test tube technology or a living synthetic machine, it depends on
your level of imagination.
And there is one rule in this nation. All human beings are only
allowed to live up to a predefined age, say 45. When one reaches
that age, he or she will be "terminated" or probably
organically recycled. We may have the following drastic changes
in our society.
This could be a very good novel
material.
Hope all these "What If" have given you something to
think about. Remember to let your imagination to run wild once in
a while.
World Wide Wilf Interactive System (WWWIS)
Bonus Piece
Conversation overheard between a married couple.
He : Hi honey, you are back.
She : Yeah. A very long and tiring day.
He : How's work?
She : As usual. My boss wasn't in a good mood
tonight. She was very upset the whole morning.
He : Really?
She : And my secretary, he's just not capable at
all. How about you?
He : Well, I went to do some shopping and they
are selling the cereal in special price. Been cleaning up the
place and ironing all the clothes the whole day.
She : <kissed> I love you. Can't live
without you. Have you put the kids to bed?
He : Yes, I have. Before that, we were surfing
the Net. Guess what, they asked me what does a Whale looks like
and I have absolutely no idea. They are ancient, you know. So we
try to search a picture from the Net.
She : Really. What is a Whale by the way?
He : A very large fish I think. And the last one
was eaten by the Japanese.
She : <lit up a healthy cigarette> Listen,
honey. I know I have been ignoring you lately. That's work, you
know? And I plan for our second honeymoon.
He : How nice? Where?
She : The Space Disneyland.
He : Oh, I am frightened. I've never taken a
Space Shuttle before.
She : <laughed> That's nothing. I've had a
few conferences there before.
He : By the way, have you noticed that our
neighbor has disappeared lately?
She : <quiet> I think so, why?
He : He was terminated.
She : <no feeling> Oh. How about his wife?
He : Apparently his wife found another man and
decided not to be terminated prematurely.
She : I see. By the way, don't get out of this
house if not necessary.
He : Okay. Why?
She : Apparently the FAG are everywhere and this
whole town is in chaos. Can't believe that I am being checked
twice today! I am worry about you. It's not safe out there.
Do you like this scenario at all?
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copyright 1997
[ready] list topics
Topics (12/02/97)
[ready] read message 1
When men get together, there is only one single topic that goes
across all language and culture barriers. You know what I mean.
No need to spell it out.
According to my clients (you know where they come from), there
are only two types of women existing in this breathing world. The
"goat" and the "sentimental". Well, to
translate to English, I think they meant "slut" and
"angel". I was a bit confused, so I asked them to
educate me. The "goat" inevitably behaves in an "animal"
way. And I do think this is very pictorial and easily understood.
(Got to admit that they are very direct with this!) They are the
ones just meet and do it, in a primitive way.
The "sentimental" type is harder for me to swallow.
They are the ones who have "feeling" with the partners
they are with, even though they may be having two or more at the
same time. So to translate, I think one is called "One Night
Stand" and the other is called "Affairs". No
wonder they told me that it is very "usual" that men
are having more than one woman at the same time here. And it is
very "common" for colleagues to this thing each other.
[ready] read message 2
One fine evening, I was (unfortunately) working late with one
client. He is darker than me so I call him Muddy in here.
Muddy : Your enemy's enemy is your enemy.
Me : What!? I think you are wrong!
Muddy : <head shake with a seem to be
intelligent smile>
Me : I think your enemy's enemy is your friend.
(0,0)=1
Muddy : Nope. It's enemy.
Me : Okay, your friend's friend is your friend,
right? (1,1)=1
Muddy : <head shake>
Me : Your friend's enemy is your enemy. (1,0)=0
Muddy : <hands wave>
Me : Your enemy's friend is your enemy. (0,1)=0
Muddy : <smile>
Note : In PERFECT model, we have Logic Negate Exclusive OR (N-XOR).
It took me a while to take in all the negation and when I relate
this into real life, and real experience, I seemed to have
thought otherwise.
Me : Okay, let's be frank. Your enemy's friend
could be your friend. (0,1)=1
Muddy : <smile> Maybe.
Me : And your friend's enemy could be your
friend. (1,0)=1
Muddy : Maybe.
Me : And your friend's friend could be your
enemy! (1,1)=0
Muddy : Maybe.
Me : So your enemy's enemy could be your friend!
(0,0)=1
Muddy : See, you've learnt! Ho! Ho!
Note : In REALITY model, we have Logic Negate AND (NAND).
Are we just bored or what!!
Exercise : Try this. If I say that (perfect model) your lover's
lover is you and your ex-lover's ex-lover is also you, try out
all other cases. And in reality model, we may have, your lover's
lover could be him. Try that out as well. Answer attached.
[ready] read message 3
Probably you are sick with all the comparison so I will keep it
short.
When someone is too demanding, I may said, "He drained me
out". That is to say he has drained all my energy out of my
mind or body. But the French will said, "He pumped me up".
Drain and pump is so fundamentally different and the only thing
that is possibly fundamentally similar is that in both cases, I
am being referred as a water tank.
[ready] read message 4
The long awaiting U2 album is due to be out sometime in March.
Always heard the new single "Discotheque" on air, truly
techno in a U2 style. They still claim that it is a rock album
but we have to wait and see in March.
David Bowie, just turned 50, is getting more weird. With the new
album called, "Earthling", and personally I don't think
you've heard anything like that. Any of you heard of "Little
Wonder", just wonder how the hell they remix the whole damn
song.
Cyndi Lauper just came out a new album. She wrote the whole album
with her band-mate Jane (I think) and it's kind of modern. Mind
you, her high pitch voice is still there.
Don't watch "The Crow - The City of Angel" unless you
are a big fan of the comic.
[ready] read message 5
Ever since I arrived in this dreamland, I have commit all the 7
deadly sins. I eat like a pig and every night has this nightmare
of being haunted by the cows, lambs and ducks which I had
consumed during daytime. Hence, gluttony. I sleep like a pig
during weekends and wake up at 8 am in the morning. Hence, sloth.
With all the bugs in the system, I raged. As I am the only one
who is qualified to say, "Hey man. I know a bug when I see
one. This is NOT a bug", I fantasized myself as superman,
hence pride. Too much cyber sex and detail skipped, is that lust?
My quality of life seems to have improved quite dramatically but
I am still not happy at all. Right now I demand an international
phone on my desk (and probably won't get it), that is greed.
Lastly, I ENVY you guys back home eating all the home cook food
and all those beautiful curry chicken and Dim Sum. Hey, next time
when you cannot finish your food, think about ME. Someone
somewhere is dying to taste what you are about to throw away. GET
THAT??
[ready] read message 7
Your feedback is invaluable. Please type below.
[feedback] I THINK YOUR STORIES SUCK AND YOUR MIND IS SCREWED.
Feedback sent to WWW's mailbox. Thank you.
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copyright 1997
Answer for message 2.
[Perfect Model]
Your lover's lover is you. (1,1)=1
Your ex-lover's ex-lover is you. (0,0)=1
Your lover's ex-lover is him. (1,0)=0
Your ex-lover's lover is him. (0,1)=0
[Reality Model]
Your ex-lover's ex-lover could be you. (0,0)=1
Your lover's ex-lover could be you. (1,0)=1
Your ex-lover's lover could be you. (0,1)=1
Your lover's lover could be him!! (1,1)=0
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Welcome to World Wide Wilf Interactive System (WWWIS)
copyright 1997
Good evening. Today is 14th Feb, check out the Valentine Special
Forum.
[ready] go valentine
Topics
[ready] read message 1
It was only a few days ago had I discovered the history behind
Valentine's Day due to my inadequate level of common knowledge.
According to one of the writing in the Net, Valentine's Day is a
day for memory of the death of St. Valentine, a priest who had
secretly married a lot of couples during the war time and this
noble action had unfortunately gone against the wish of the King
as only single men were required to go into battle. He was
executed in the name of Love. Very touching, isn't it? We shall
all have a minute of silence for the Love of St. Valentine.
<computer hang for one minute>
[ready] read message 2
Thinking that Paris is a Paradise
of Romance, I cruised along the streets of Paris center in order
to feel Love, to embrace Love and to lose myself into the immense
atmosphere of Love.
So I went down to Champs-Elysees, the famous street of Paris and
witnessed a lot of couples together. People selling flowers
everywhere and when I looked into the faces of the couples, I
found one thing in common, the girls smiled sweetly with a bunch
of flowers while the guys didn't seem to enjoy the whole occasion
at all! I had one theory before I set off, that is, no pretty
single lady will walk alone on a Valentine night. True enough,
there wasn't any.
Not only we have the normal kind of lovers. I saw man and man
walking very closed by each other. I saw ladies walking in pair
with affection(?) and I guess in this century, love has not
restricted herself into man and woman relationship and has truly
become, universal.
The French always pride themselves very romantic (romantique), so
my mission tonight was to see how true it is. I looked into
McDonald's and could only find some groups of boys and girls and
tourists. Okay, at least they won't just dine cheap.
And all the restaurants were packed. There were more than 30
couples queuing up in front of Planet Hollywood. Really wanted to
check out whether Stallone was in house but it was just too
packed. Normally I wouldn't walk into a restaurant alone in such
an occasion but in order to complete this report, I have got to
do it.
So I chose one which overlook the Eiffel Tower. I thought it was
a good place for rendezvous so I just walked to wherever my
feeling told me to. Inside the restaurant, there were two wings.
I just called them the Left Wing and the Right Wing for
simplicity. Initially I wanted a table by the window but I
thought I should have the courtesy to reserve those seats for the
lovers. So I was being sat right in the middle of the Wing.
Around me was a line of tables arranged in a U-shape. Felt kind
of uncomfortable. Just imagine, you are in the middle while all
the couples eating around you.
Love was indeed all around. Funny enough, they all had live
seafood. Maybe the French believe that it is good for the S drive
afterwards, who knows?
[ready] read message 3
Tonight's guests are all basically my clients. Really curious on
what other cultures think of St. Valentine's Day and to see how
"romantique" a Frenchman is.
Our first guest is Nick, a truly handsome Frenchman, medium
built, who just have a new born baby. As we were walking along
the street, I began my interview.
Nick : <annoyed> It is so stupid.
Me : <shocked> Stupid? But it is
Valentine's Day!
Nick : <head shake> It is just commercial.
Why must it be on one particular day ..
Me : Well ..
Nick : Why can't it be just any day else except
the 14th of February.
Me : <still in mock surprise> But I am
sure your wife love it!
Nick : <distracted> Yeah, present, present
and present.
Me : And flowers as well?
Nick : And it is so stupid. And we are going to
have Grandfather and Grandmother day ..
Me : Really?
Nick : .. in France and it is just for
commercial.
Me : <change topic> So what are you going
to tonight?
Nick : My wife is in the hospital.
Me : <concerned> Oh ..
Nick : Nothing special, just for a night.
Me : <thought - shall I say "I feel
sorry for you" or "I feel happy for you">
My next guest is Moha, one of my best buddy here. A North African
and Muslim who believe in "Plutonic Love". What the
hell is "Plutonic Love"? You got to ask him for this,
something like you love another woman with a distance, besides
your wife.
Moha : <at the train station> Are you
going to be free this Friday?
Me : Yeah, you know I am always free at night.
How come?
Moha : We will have a dinner then.
Me : <hesitated> But this Friday is
Valentine, Moha!
Moha : <confused> Valentine?
Me : <voice raised with a mock French
accent> Yeah man, St. Valentine's Day!
Moha : <enlightened> Ah, Valentine!
Me : <thought - doesn't look good for 2 guys
together on that day>
Me : You should be with your wife, brother.
Moha : <hand wave> Nah ..
A few days after.
Me : Tell me, what is the first picture or word
that strikes you when you heard of the word "Valentine"?
Moha : <looked blur> Don't know.
Me : <pushed on> Come on, think harder!!
Moha : <still looked very blur> Nothing.
Me : <voice raised> Nothing? There must be
something!
Moha : ..
Me : <signed> Okay, think about Sophie (a
striking woman famous in the whole building)
Moha : <suddenly enlightened> Ah, Sophie!
Me : Yes, Sophie. So? What's the answer?
Moha : Sophie.
Mike, a heavily built, happily married (I think) Romanian with a
rugged look.
Me : Mike, what do you think of when you first
hear the word "Valentine"?
Mike : Commercial.
Me : That's it? Does your wife like Valentine's
Day at all?
Mike : <shoulder raised> Yeah, why not.
Me : Do you?
Mike : <smiled>
Me : Does your wife expect a present or flowers?
Mike : <laughed> Yes, I suppose.
Me : Have you brought your present yet?
Mike : <yet another embarrassed smile>
Nope.
Me : <exclaimed> But today is Valentine's
Day!
Mike : <still smiled and kept quiet>
Me : <gave up hope> Okay, you still have 2
hours this evening before all the shops close.
Mike : <laughed> Maybe.
And we only have one lady guest, Aurore, with us tonight. (For I
don't really dare to go up and ask Sophie the same question.) It
was kind of hard for me to ask as knowing that she properly
doesn't have a lover at the moment, it could be quite an
embarrassment. But she is very open minded so I just have to be
careful.
Me : Aurore, may I ask you one question?
Aurore : <looked up at me from her desk>
Yeah?
Me : What is the first image or sound that
strike you when you hear the word "Valentine"?
Aurore : <with feeling> Love.
Me : <acknowledged> Wow, that's great.
That's it?
Aurore : Yes, Love.
Me : <very carefully> What are you
planning to do tonight or for the weekend?
Aurore : <laughed and Nick laughed as well.
Nick left the room leaving only the two of us> ..
Me : Okay, you don't have to tell me.
Aurore : Well, I need long sleep.
Me : <sensitive enough to get the signal>
A long week, huh?
Aurore : <laughed> I have to check the
voice mail to see ..
Me : <interrupted> Answering Machine, you
mean ..
Aurore : <topic diverged> Yeah, it is
really good to have an Answering Machine nowadays ..
Me : <catching her good mood> Tonight,
Aurore. So, are you expecting anything tonight?
Aurore : Maybe I should explore my area ..
Me : As you have just moved into a new place,
right?
Aurore : That's right and I need to find a Bread
Store.
Me : You mean, a Bakery.
So we talked about supermarkets in Paris center instead.
Our next guest is another truly Frenchman, living together with
his girlfriend. They love each other a lot (4 years) but have no
plan of marriage. Guess what's his name. That is Wilfrid. Yes,
the one with the letter "I". Shorter than me but with
very cheerful personality. He preferred to be called Willie so as
to avoid confusion.
Me : <same question>
Willie : My girlfriend, present and flowers.
How sweet! And he actually went on with the present and the kind
of flower his girlfriend like. Truly romantic. He continued with
the detail description of a romantic dinner. I was so scared that
he would go on and describe what happened after dinner, I had to
stop him. As it is not professional enough to talk about one's S
life during office hour.
Me : So, what are you planning to do tonight?
Willie : Japanese food with my girlfriend.
Me : <smiled> How sweet! That must be a
Valentine's Day special.
Willie : <surprised> Valentine?
Me : <confused> Yes, that's today, isn't
it?
Willie : <blur and looked at the watch>
Today is Valentine's Day?
Me : <shocked> 14th Feb. Then?
Willie : Oh ..
Me : Oh ..
Our last guest tonight is not exactly my buddy during the office
hour. He is what I call, a Bug Explorer. Our nature of work
conflicts from time to time. A very tall and fair North African
with a very neat and fashionable beard. Nobody knows if he has
love at all as he had once declared that he hated social meeting
and he hated people. But to complete this mission, I have got to
approach him.
Me : <same question>
Noubi : My girlfriend.
Me : <really surprise - did I hear correctly?
Boyfriend or girlfriend?> Really?
Noubi : Yes.
Me : But I thought you hate everything!
Noubi : As a matter of fact, yes.
Me : <speechless>
Noubi : What do YOU think of then?
Me : Me?
Noubi : Yes, you.
Me : Well, the first image is a Big Pink Heart-Shaped
Balloon.
Noubi : In fact, me too.
[ready] read message 4 -option -summarized
It is a day of celebration, with the one(s) you love. As we can
see, the formula is always the same. The flower, the present (and
card, perhaps), the dinner and some private time with your lover(s)
before the night ends.
A perfect example of "I-give-you-take" for men. Totally
headache to shop for a present, to reserve a bunch of flowers (with
an exceptionally high price) and to book for a nice restaurant
with so many people siting around with you. Thought it would have
been nice if it is being done on a different day instead.
Probably men are so tired that they just doze off to sleep after
dinner.
When I returned to the Hotel, I planed to interview some of the
lady receptionists who were unfortunate enough not being able to
stay with their lovers. To my relief, I could only find one guy
at the reception. Love is all around.
It is a special day for lovers. Hope you all enjoy your
Valentine's Day and let's make it a night to remember.
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