There was a congregation in the Bible Belt. Its name was Littleburg. And this congregation was perfect and upright, and fearing God, and turning away from evil. And seven deacons were there, laboring at the tasks given to them. And a minister of the gospel was there, laboring daily in the Scriptures, and warning the congregation against greed and pride and lust, and encouraging them in generosity and humility and self-control. And three elders were there, watching over the souls of the congregation. Thus they did continually.

And there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan was also there among them. And the Lord said to Satan, "whence comest thou?"

And Satan answered the Lord, and said, "from going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it."

And the Lord said to Satan, "hast thou considered my servants at Littleburg, that there is none like them in all the earth, fearing God and turning away from evil?"

And Satan answered the Lord, and said, "is that such a hard thing for them? Hast Thou not given them good men who guard over their souls, and deacons who labor, and a minister who tells them only what Thou wouldst have them hear? But put forth Thine arm, and touch those good men, and the people there shall depart from Thy ways."

Then the Lord said to Satan, "behold, those men are in your hand; only on the rest of the congregation put not thine hand."

And there was a day when the congregation at Littleburg was gathered in one place. And a man came into the meeting house, and said, "I was walking across the street with the elders and the minister of the gospel, and a bakery truck, laden with devil's food cakes, smote them, so that they died. And I alone have survived to tell you."

And while this man was yet still speaking, another came in, and when he spoke, said, "behold, your deacons and I were driving to the prison to conduct our weekly ministry there, when the Duke Blue Devils team bus ran us off the road, and we rolled, so that the deacons died; and I alone have survived to tell you."

Then the people there made lament for the elders, and the minister of the gospel, and the deacons.

And when they had made their lament, the men of the congregation said, "the way of the Lord, which these good men have shown us, is right. Let us continue in it."

And there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Load, and Satan was also there among them. And the Lord said to Satan, "whence comest thou?"

And Satan answered the Lord, and said, "from going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it."

And the Lord said to Satan, "hast thou considered my servants at Littleburg, that there is none like them in all the earth. And even though thou hast moved Me to strike them without cause, still they remain in My ways."

And Satan answered the Lord, and said, "any fool can keep doing what he hath done. But let me put one of my preachers in the pulpit there, and they shall depart from Thy ways."

And the Lord said to Satan, "behold, that pulpit is in thine hand; only on the people there put not thine hand."

And soon the men at Littleburg were visited by a new preacher, who had graduated from a very important university. And this minister told them that he liked to focus on "the core gospel," and that he thought that congregational singing was "a good tradition."