only hope*
chapter 08
After a long flight to Tennessee and a ride to Millington we were finally at Lynn and Paul�s house. By a quarter after 10 I had all of my things put away up in the room that Justin would stay in whenever he�d visit. He had a ton of stuff all over their house, I figured it was just because he came there a lot, but his things helped me through in away it was like he was still there with me and crazy at that sounds. Neither Lynn nor I were tired, after all, it had been a long flight and we didn�t have anything more constructive to do other than to doze off. She and I were getting along very well. She was always talking about something though and sometimes I couldn�t help but think that she was only carrying on a non-sense conversation just to avoid an uncomfortable silence. This was also a trait that Justin had, every time there�d be a quiet moment between us he�d fidget with his hands or crack his knuckles. I really didn�t mind, I was the kind of person who could go either way, so I felt comfortable just gabbing, besides it helped us to get to know each other better.
�So, Sarah, how are you and ma� boy doin�?� She asked as we sat down in the living room on the tan colored couch.
Crossing my legs I smiled. �We�re going really well.�
�Good, good, I�ve been getting� that same report from him too. How are you managing things otherwise?�
�Hmmm�. Okay, sometimes I get a little depressed and miss my family and friends but I guess that just comes along with the whole scheme of running away. When Jay comes that all stops and it�s like nothing else matters except for us being together, he�s everything to me.�
�That�s good to hear I�m getting the same report from him too. I�m so glad that he found someone as sweet as you. It�s a blessing.�
I took those words to heart. I loved to hear positive input coming from someone about my whole relationship with Justin. It seemed that I had even grown to be more and more apprehensive towards the subject. It wasn�t that I wanted to be so uneasy about it, it was just that everyone else had pressed it on me.
Lynn and I decided to make dinner together that night. We had a ton of fun, in a way she was sort of filling in the gap of my mother back in Illinois, the one who was probably crying herself to sleep every night, praying and hoping that I would come home. Deep down I knew that she knew I was alright, and to me, that was the only thing that kept me too from crying myself to sleep, my own words, my own promises to myself. That night was also the first time that I met Justin�s step-father Paul Harless. He was kind of bland and I could sense that he was uncomfortable around new people, especially me. I didn�t let it get to my head though, to me first impressions weren�t always lasting ones. Even though my parents were divorced, I was reminded of something that night. What it was like to sit down and have a family dinner, I missed that.
Around 10 �o clock I headed back upstairs to sleep and call Justin and see what had happened with the cops.
�So, How�s my girl?� He asked.
�Hmmm.. Could be better, did the police stop by and search?�
�Yes.�
�Sooo�?
�They just ya� know searched, looked through the whole place. They were here for about an hour. I was beginning to think that they were just staying for some kind of a show that they just weren�t gonna get.� He replied sounding aggravated.
�That�s retarded-� I began but was cut off.
�Shut up. Shhh-� Justin whispered.
�What?� I questioned.
�Oh, no-nothing.� he snapped.
�Ummm� ok. Anyway,, at least the cops didn�t find anything.� I said still wondering what was going on.
�Yeah.� He sighed.
Then there was a long pause until I heard someone in the background.
�Justin? Come here, I�m waiting.� Some chick shouted.
�Hold on!� He mumbled seeming upset.
�Who is that?� I asked.
�Oh, that�s just Alysha.� He nonchalantly replied.
�Who?!�
�Alysha� can I let you go babe, I mean Sarah?�
�Uh, yeah, I love you.� Confused I rubbed my temples.
�Ok, bye.� He hung up quickly.
What the hell! I exclaimed as I slammed down the cord phone. Who was that chick? Then it dawned on me, didn�t Lynn call me Alysha at the airport? What was I gonna do? It wasn�t like I could just call him back up, or maybe I could, I should, so I did.
�Hello?� That girl answered in a bitchy tome.
�Hey, this is Justin�s GIRLFRIEND, is he there?�
�Yes, but he�s busy at the moment can I have him call you back?� She asked.
�Just lemme talk to him, please.�
�No, I said he was busy.� She coped an attitude with me.
�Yeah, and I said I that I�m his girlfriend, just give him the damn phone.�
�Egh, fine.� She must have done a pathetic job of covering the phone because I could hear everything that they were talking about.
�J, it�s some broad, sayin that she�s your girlfriend, would you please just tell her that you�re busy, we�ve only got an hour and I want you all of it.� She whispered, giggling at the last part.
Then the next thing I knew he picked up the phone.
�Hello?�
�What the hell, who in the **** is that?� I shouted.
�I told you.�
�Yeah, but you never told me that you two were gonna screw.�
�What?!� He exclaimed.
�You heard me Justin. I can�t believe you, seriously, it�s been what, a day, and you�re already ****ing some bitch. I can�t-�
�Baby, calm down-�
�Baby, **** you! Tish!� O cut him off.
�Ok, Sarah, chill out, it�s totally not what you think.� He said very slowly.
�Then what is it?�
�I can�t tell you. It�s a surprise though, she�s here working on something.�
�Working on what analyzing your dick, come on, I may only be 16 but I�m not stupid.� I said, sitting back down in bed.
�Alright, she�s here because I decided that since you were forced to go live with my mom for a few weeks, you�d have to put off your decorating, so I wanted to have a room done when you got here. I had to hang up with you fast because the huge-ass curtain was about to fall down and into some paint so I had to hurry up and help her before it did, the whole �I want you for an hour� thing that she said ties in with helping her with the curtain cuz� she�s only gonna be here for another hour and she�s enjoying my help. So there, ya happy? Think what you want, I don�t cheat on those I love the most Sarah, you should know that better than anyone.� He explained.
Feeling pretty guilty I asked, �What color is the paint?�
Not liking my �change of the subject� question he replied, �Like a burnt red. Anyway, I gotta go.�
�Awwww, look, I�m sorry. It�s just-�
�Yeah, I know, I would be too.� Then he hung up/
I just sat there trying to convince myself that I had been wrong. Maybe he really was �decorating� my room. Whatever was going on it wasn�t like I could do anything about it, after all, I had bigger things to worry about.
*******
2 Days later
December 2nd
7:30 A.M.
I woke to a very nervous Lynn outside my bedroom door.
�Search my house?� She exclaimed loudly as if she were in a desperate pled to wake me up. That I did, and just in time.
�Yes, Ma�am, it�ll only take a few moments.� A deep voiced cop replied.
Trying to part from my dream world and accept the fact that what I was hearing was reality, I rolled quietly out of the cozy bed, and stood in the middle of the room, gazing at the door for a brief moment, long enough to conger up a plan. �Take all of your things, shove �em in the closet, and shove yourself in the closet�� I pondered. �No, that won�t work, the closet has too much in it as is�� I scooped up my few bags and slid them inside the closet. �There, now where do I go? Out the window? No, too loud? Out the-�
�Sure, go ahead, here�s my room�� I heard Lynn�s voice, getting much closer.
�Screw it!!!� I yelled at myself and dropped to my knees. Subconsciously, I slid underneath the twin-sized bed. �Come on, come on!! Stupid ass, fit!� I cussed at my own rear end, trying to squeeze pass the beam of the sharp box spring. Right as I was pulling my left arm in, the door flung open.
�There ya go� that�s the quest room.� Lynn sighed a sigh of relief.
�Can ask you just one question?� The officers shoe appeared in front of my face.
�Hmm?�
�Why is there a half full glass of water on the night stand?�
�Shit!� I whispered, feeling my heart beat so fast my chest shook.
Lynn hesitated for a second then replied, �Well, Justin never cleans up after himself, he was just here a few weeks ago, and I haven�t had the chance to tidy anything. That explains the bed too. Boys will be boys.�
�I see.� He walked out of the room, then about 1 minuet later I heard the door.
*******
�Sarah , you alright? Where are you?� Lynn walked back into the room.
�Under the bed�� I panted, feeling my ribs dig into the carpet.
Releasing a small laugh she said, �you can come out now sweetie, the coast is clear.�
When I went to stand up my left leg began to cramp, I figured it was just because I had been smashed under that bed for about an half of an hour. We both exchanged uneasy looks before either one of us said anything. Rubbing my cramp out, and sitting down I pathetically questioned, �Where do I go n ow?�
�Back to Justin�s.� She replied, sitting next to me.
�How soon?�
Wrapping her arms around me she replied, �I�ll have to make the arrangements tonight, you�ll leave tomorrow.�