only hope*
chapter 02
*******
The Next Morning
Friday~Nov.18th
11:37 A.M.
When I woke up Justin wasn�t next t me so I figured that he was either in the bathroom or downstairs. Wrapping the bed sheets around me I walked into his bathroom. Walking was a lot more painful than I thought it was gonna be but I managed, but the time I got out Justin was coming back in. He had a big arm full of food and water.
�Mornin� baby.� I smiled, peaking at what he was setting down.
�Oh, hey, good morning. I made us some chocolate chip pancakes.� He walked up to me and palnted a kiss on my forehead.
�Awww, Justy, you remembered!� I tightly hugged him and then hobbled back into his bed to eat.
�Yeah, I did, extra butter too, right?�
�Yup.� Taking a bite I added, �These are awesome.�
�Ok, ok, I gotta stop frontin� I got the recipe from my mom.� He laughed.
�Oh well, they�re still good.� I shrugged.
�Hey, you feelin� alright?� He turned to face me, taking his plate along with him and sitting Indian style.
�A little sore, but I�ll be ok.� I replied.
�K, cuz, well you know. I just wasn�t sure.� He stopped, feeling like he was saying more that he should.
�No, I�m fine.� I continued to eat.
Justin scooted next to me some more and snatched up my fork.
�Justin!� I whined, reaching out to take it back.
�no, no, you rest. Lemme do it.� He started to spoon feed me.
�Ok, go ahead, shit, Ju, I could get used to this treatment.� I giggled opening my mouth for another bite.
�You know something Sarah, last night was the first time I made love to someone.� He pushed our empty plates away and set them on the floor.
�Really?� Surprised, I rested my head back against his bed board.
�MmmmHmmm, I didn�t love the other ones.� He shrugged, then added, �Sad, I know, but it�s true.�
�Well, that makes two of us.� I kissed his cheek.
�I guess so�� He shook his head in argeement.
�You�re a lot more quiet then you are on the phone when you�re in person.� I glanced over at him, changing the subject.
�Really?� He raised an eyebrow at me and then rested his head against the bed board, like me.
�Yup, why is that?� I asked, scooping his Tommy Hilfigure Tee-shirt off of the floor and putting it on.
�Reminiscing.�
�About?� I curled into a ball and rested my head down into his lap.
�Last night.� He replied, running his hand through my hair.
�You really love pampering your girls don�t you?� I noted, feeling myself doze off as he continued to rub my head.
�Only special ones, like the girls who�s�� sleeping in my lap.� He quietly laughed to himself and set me back onto the pillows.
*******
~That Night~
�One more� that�s good. Thank you.� I laughed as Justin poured another cap full of bubbles into his bathtub.
�Alright, I�ll be downstairs if you need anything.� He told me and then left. Before I got in I dialed Irene�s phone number and put the phone speaker.
�Hello?� She answered.
�Hey.� I stepped into the warm water.
�Oh my God! Sarah!� She exclaimed sounding relived to hear from me.
�Sup?�
�No, no you tell me. Shit, how�s Justin?� In the past Irene was always my �Nsync Buddy�, she and I had been Nsync/Justin fans ever since we were in 7th grade (we were Juniors then).
�Sexy as ever.�
�Duh!� She laughed.
�Ok, guess what?!� Excitedly I replaced against the jet in the tub.
�I dunno, what?�
�Ah! I did it Irene!�
�Did��
�Had sex.� I whispered.
�REALLY?! NO WAY! You suck! How was it?� She asked, surprised yet totally not, she knew I would sooner or later, I was just guessing that she was shocked to that it was that soon.
�Awesome. Justin�s so sweet to me. He was all don�t do anything that you�re not ready to and I love you, and he made breakfast for me this morning and freakin� spoon feed me. Then afterwards I fell asleep because girl, well� you know.�
�Yeah, I know, got a lil� run out the night before. Hahaha! I�m jealous of you Cindy.�
�Cindy?� Confused I played with the bubbles.
�Uh-huh� PEOPLE.�
�Oh, should I let you go?� I questioned, taking a hand full of bubbles and blowing them across the bathroom.
�MmmmHmmm� Look I�m happy for you babe. Call me tomorrow, no news yet on S-E-A-R-C-H.� She said, spelling out the word.
�Good, thanks. I�ll call you. Love ya girl.�
�You too. Talk to you later. Hehe! Have fun.�
�I will, oh I will! See ya.�
�Who should I call now? Answering my own question I mumbled, �Theresa.� So I dried my hand off and then dialed.
�Hello?� Theresa picked up.
�Hey Tree, it�s me.�
�Oh my God?! You ok.�
�Fine, why?�
�Wait, who is this?�
�Sarah�.�
�Sorry I uh, think that you have the wrong number.�
�Theresa, don�t be fuckin� stupid.� Aggravated I just rolled my eyes.
�It�s alright, Good luck with getting WHO YOU WANT.� Then she lowered her voice and whispered, �They�re looking. Good bye Sarah.�
And with that she hung up.
�Shit!� I exhaled loudly. Then called Lindsay.
�Hi?�
�Lindsay, it�s me.�
�Oh, hi sorry, I thought that you might have been my friend Sarah, they�re looking for her, ugh, Emily. Yeah, so�. But how are you?�
�Better than ever. Should I get going?� I asked, felling some what pushed aside.
�Yeah, actually that�d be a good idea.� In a pissed off voice she added, �You�re good at leavin�.
�Linds, please, don�t say anything to anyone.� I begged.
�Look, I respect your choices and how you wanna live your life, but that doesn�t mean that I have to approve. I love you Sarah, you�re my best friend, and I�ll always back you up but I just can�t hide things from people my whole life. I�m sorry. I won�t say anything and I�ll play dumb the best I can, just-just don�t call me anymore.� Her voice cracked with tears as she said, �Good-bye Emily.�
Tears formed in my eyes too when I said goodbye and they didn�t stop falling until Justin knocked on the door.
�Sar, baby, I gotta get a towel. Is it alright if I come in?�
�Yeah, it�s ok.� sinking lower into the bubbles I dried my eyes.
�So you feelin� relaxed?� He asked, purposely not looking my way.
Sniffing I lied, �Yes.�
�What�s the matter?� He grabbed a towel and sat down on the edge of the tub, still staring off in another direction, then finally after a moment he looked into my eyes.
�Nothin�.�
�Bull shit, I may not know all of your expressions just yet but I know your voice like my own.�
He was right, what was I hiding? Besides, who else did I have to vent to anymore?
�Lindsay doesn�t wanna have anything to do with me, Irene calls me Cindy and Theresa pretended to have the wrong number. Plus, my dad�s looking for me.� I sobbed, trying to catch my breath but the steam from the water was making it harder.
�Sweetheart, please don�t cry. I�ll all be ok. Lindsay�s probably jut scared. Don�t worry, who would ever think that you�re here with me?� He brushed his fingers against my hot cheek.
�But, what if one of my friends crack and tell someone? Then what do we do?�
�We�ll think about that when or if the time ever even comes up. Until then, We�ll just sit here and wait oh, and I know that our friends are important but maybe after you let all of them know that you�re alright, I think that it would be a good idea to ya know, not call them very often, just in case.�
Not callin� my friends! Ha! Was this man crazy?!
�Alright J, thanks.� I sat up and planted a kiss on his forehead.
�welcome� hey guess what?�
�Huh?� I pathetically shrugged.
�Come closer, it�s a secret.� He motioned with this finger for me to lean in so I did. A moment passed before either one of us said anything.
�what?� I repeated.
All of the sudden he scooped up a hand full of bubbles and tossed them at my face.
�HEY!� Giggling I wiped at my eyes. He just laughed.
�Oh, boy, don�t be thinking that you can get away with that.� I said as I splashed him.
�Ut-oh!� Immediately I sunk down knowing that he�d somehow get me back.
�So that�s how you wanna play?� He starred at me blankly, dripping wet.
�yeah.�
�Hmmm� well then.� And with that he stood up, still holding his towel, using it to dry his shirt off.
�That it? No fight?� I cracked a mischievous smile.
�We�re even now. One of us has to make the next move for there to be a so called �Fight�.�
�Alrighty then� no fighting. I�m not in the mood.� Quickly, I stood up, bubbles still clinging to my body and asked him to hand me one of those towels.
�Here, take this one. I�ll go get another one on my way out.� He handed it to me and when he did I grabbed onto his arm and made him hug me.
�You see what I meant was, I�m not in the mood to win, but..�
�Let�s go then.� He flopped the towel on my head and walked out of the bathroom.
After I dried off and changed into my night clothes I searched for him. When I reached his bed I peaked all over then headed downstairs. The second I to the couch he grabbed me from behind and started to tickle my ribs.
�Ah! Lemme go, ahahaha!� Crumbling to the floor I added, �No, not my thighs!� Of course he had me pinned down with no problem so I was defenseless and left to surrender, wait, there was one solution that still remained, just as long as he didn�t restrain my legs before I did it.
�Justin, stop.� I pleaded
�Nope.�
�You better!�
�Or what?�
�Or, It�ll hurt�.�
�What will?�
�This!� Then I kneeded him.
Justin let out a painful groan and stumbled over, I on the other hand got up and ran as fast as I could back to the stairs. Beginning to fell bad I turned back around to help him.
�Jay?� I knelt down next to him and patted his back,
�Ow, shit girl, ow!� He muttered.
Feeling even worse I began to apologize, �I�m really sorry, it just sorta happened. Well, I mean. Ohhh, look at my poor baby.� I hugged him, getting myself wet from the bathwater that was still on hi shirt.
�It�s ok, I guess that you gave me enough, ouch, warning anyway. It�s getting better. You�re lucky I�m not crying like a baby.� He laughed.
�Awww, poor Justy, you�ll be alright, but hey� I win!� I stuck out my tongue.
His glare said it all and I just shut up.
�Sarah, you�re so damn up front, I love it.� He got up, still a little limp, so I followed.
�Uh, thanks.� I replied as we walked.