only hope*
chapter 03
*******
2 Days Later
November 20th
The last few days Justin and I had just chilled out and really enjoyed our time together. We never left the house but I was okay with that because Justin could easily entertain me and I also was a little afraid to take that risk of being exposed.
�Sarah, baby girl, wake up, come on it�s important.� Justin gently rocked my hip.
His bed was so damn and cozy I never wanted to wake up but his persistent nagging paid off.
�Egh! What J?� I yawned with my face still buried in his pillow.
�I gotta go now, I�m leaving for New York so that I can promote my CD come more on TRL.� The hand that he used to rock me was now on my back.
�But you can�t go. When will you be back?� I t up and stretched.
�Well, after that I�ve gotta step by BET, then over to South Dakota for a photo shoot with Teen People after that, I�m back home. So, add it all together and, uh, I should be only be gone �bout a week.�
Noticing that he was already completely dressed and his bags were lined up ready to go by the door of his bedroom I said, �A week? Damn Justin, what am I supped to do for a week? Huh? Sit on my ass and watch TV?�
�No actually,. There�s tons of stuff you can do. Oh, the maid should be coming to clean on Friday and when she does she always goes shopping so don�t worry bout food. I left some money on the table for whatever you wanna do with it. There�s like 5 cars in the garage, you can drive �em anywhere just don�t eat in the Benz, hehe, that�s ma� PIMP CAR. Alright?� He leaned into kiss me.
�Wait.� I pushed him away, �How long do you have before you have to leave?� I asked.
��bout 15, why?�
�Well, let me pee and brush my teeth before we say our good-byes.� I got up, went to the bathroom then came out. When I saw him he was in the same exact spot, sitting on the edge of his bed.
�Alright, now we can kiss.� I laughed and sat down in his lap sideway so that my legs were dangling off of the bed.
For some reason his naturally curly hair appeared to be less mop-top and more wavy it shocked me that it wasn�t particularly curly so I had to comment.
Playing with it I asked, �Did you do sometime to your hair?�
Surprised he replied, �Nope, why? Does it look bad?�
�Nah-uh, it�s just not as curly as it normally is.�
�Girl, how can that be? My hairs always as curly as it comes.� He removed my hand from his head and brought it to his cheek.
�I�m gonna miss you.� His blue eyes met with mine.
�I�m gonna miss you too.� I sighed. We stayed like this from a moment then I kissed him.
�I should, ya know, head down stairs now.� He went to stand up so I followed him.
�I will call you every time I get the chance.� He dragged me over to the bedroom door.
Automatically we hugged each other good-bye and he left.
After he had been gone for awhile I went into the kitchen to see the note that he left for me.
Next to it was a wad of money. When I was done counting it came out to be $1,500.
�Holy shit!� I exclaimed, then read the note.
Sarah,
Hey baby! I hope that you don�t miss me as much as I�ll miss you. The maid is coming over at 2 o�clock on Friday to clean and load up the fridge, you�re best bet is to not be home when she comes. You can use whatever car you want. Oh, one more thing, I EXPECT you to spend all of that money I gave you. Have fun and I love you.
Love Always
Justin
�Spend $1,500 in a week? Hell yeah!� I mitered under my breath and slipped both the note and the money in my pajama pants pocket and headed into the living room.
*******
Friday~Nov.22nd
I put on the same dark brown wig that I had warn about a week ago and a pair of thick rimmed sun glasses, along with a ton of make-up again. It wasn�t that appealing but hey, at least it covered me up. At 1 o�clock I was ready to go shopping. I decided to take Justin�s silver 2002 Audi TT because it was my favorite and didn�t look to much like a guys car. Nervous that I �d somehow crash it I drove with care. I had no clue where I was going and knew that I�d probably get lost but I didn�t let my poor sense of direction get in the way of having fun. It only took me about 20 minuets until I stumbed upon the LA., the actual city. I needed some clothes so I figured upon spending a few hours just for that. I parked in a lot closest to Gucci and made sure that his car was locked up tight.
�This is great.� I thought as I walked briskly down the street dotted with busy people.
�No one to check in with, no one to ask if I can go here or there and no one to bitch at me about money.� Suddenly, I felt independent and on my own even though truly I wasn�t. I was no longer 16 anymore I was old enough to take care of myself or at least that�s what I thought.
By 3:30 I was hauling 8 bags of clothes back to the lot. 4 pairs of jeans, Victoria Secret bras and 14 pairs of underwear, a silver Gucci watch, 5 short sleeved shirts and 3 sweaters. How I managed to carry all that I still don�t know. Now all I had left was $388 and my arms were about to fall off so I hurried back to the car.
After I loaded all the bags in the trunk I headed home. It was easier than I though it�d be to find my way back. I guessed it was just because Justin�s house was the only one out in the middle of no where. When I walked in the whole house smelled like Lysol and cleaning products so I knew that the maid had come. I put all of my new things in Justin�s room and put in a frozen pizza. Then I turned on the TV. Finally I ripped of the wig and shook my hair around to de-flatten it. Going uptown went smoothly so I promised myself that I�d do it again.
*******
Tuesday~Nov. 26
�Hey J, sup?� I questioned as I check my email.
�Nothin much, I�ve got good news though, I�ll be home in about an hour.� His voice echoed from the base speaker of his phone, I was in love with that damn thing.
�Awesome! I can�t wait, you could have told me a lil� sooner though, I�m not dressed or anything.� I smiled to myself as I exed out of AOL.
�Sorry, I figured I�d surprise you, but whatcha doin�?� He asked.
�Oh, alright. Checkin my email.� I replied.
�Oh kewl, did you make a new one?�
�Umm� no.�
�Shit, Sarah, do you wanna get caught?� Aggravated he added, �I thought that you were smarter than that.�
�Well, I mean, I haven�t emailed anyone I�ve just deleted junk mail.� Feeling stupid I completely signed offline.
�Baby, they can track that kinda stuff, don�t touch anything ok?�
�Egh! Fine, I�ll just uh, see you when you get here.� I sighed.
�Don�t be mad at me, I just care.� He told me.
�Whatever, see ya Justin.� I hung up.
When he got him he went straight upstairs to unload his things.
�Yeah, hello to you too.� I peaked my head in his doorway.
�Don�t bitch at me, you were the one who coped an attitude with me first.� He licked his bottom lip, then tossed a sock into his hamper.
�Look, I�m sorry, I�m just worried now, I feel dumb, like I should have known not to do that.� I rested my head on the door frame.
�It�s ok, I understand. I�m worried too but, I dunno, just don�t do that again. Now hey, I haven�t seen you in 6 days get yo� ass ova here and say hello!� Justin opened his arms for a hug so I came over to him.
�Hello.� Smiling I kissed him, sinking into his arms.
�Hello.� He greeted, returning the smile.
�Oh, guess what?!� I excitedly pulled away from him.
�Huh?�
�I�ve got $388 for you. I went downtown on Friday and bought a shit load of adorable clothes, wanna see?�
Laughing at how happy I was he shrugged, �Sure, why not?�
�Bags are in the closet, I�ll go get �em.�
�Need help?� He asked.
�Nope, I�ve got it down pat.�
When I came out I set all the stuff on his king-sized bed.
�Damn.� He mouthed.
�Yeah, I know. You told me spend it all.� Cutely I winked as I took a shirt out of the bag.
�Nice color.� He commented.
�Baby blue, can�t go wrong.� I set it aside and pulled out the rest.
�Oh, look at this one!� I held up an black express sweatshirt to myself.
�I know, it�s plain but, feel it, isn�t it soft? Oh, oh wait. Check out the pants that match it.�
Shacking his head he giggled, �You really enjoyed your self I take it?�
Nodding I opened up a Victoria Secret box which contained my bra�s.
�Not like it matters to you but look, I got 8 bra�s in 8 different colors.� I held it up in front of his face then quickly set it back down.
�Geez girl, lemme see one of those.�
�K, white, purple, black, cream�.�
�I don�t care.� He shock his head again.
�Alight, white.� I tossed it at him.
Raising it to eye level he drew in a deep breath.
�What�s wrong? Depressed that you don�t have one?� I laughed.
�No, I�m just fathomed.� He continued to stare at it.
�Why, is that?�
�What size is this thing?�
�36 D, why?�
�Damn, I can fit my whole face into one cup.� He looked up at me with a mischievous smile.
�Uh, ok, it�s that a good thing or a bad thing?� I blushed.
�Definitely a good thing. I mean, you know I like ghetto booties but this is great to have a REAL, non-plastic pair of breasts. Britney- well, need I say more?� He handed the undergarment back to me.
�Sorry I don�t have much of a butt but I�m glad that you approve of my chest because I�ve actually been wanting to get a breast reduction since I�ve lost so much weight.� I put it back in it�s box, then opened the one with my underwear in it.
�No girl. Don�t do that they�re perfect how they are. Don�t do a Britney, for God�s sake don�t do a Britney.� He begged.
�Alight, I won�t. I promise. Anyway look at these�.� I shoved the box of bikini underwear and thongs in his face, then pulled it away like I had with the bras.
�H-e-l-l-o!� He swallowed hard
�No peaking, you�ll spoil your surprise.� I playfully swatted his hand away.
�Oh really? What kinda surprise is this?� Justin narrowed his eyebrows with curiosity.
�I can�t tell you, it�s my secret.� I closed the box.
�But, I thought that it was Victoria�s Secret, not yours.� He smiled.
Hitting him over the head with my hand I sarcastically laughed, �Very funny J, ha-ha!�