only hope*
chapter 14
Saturday December 14th
6 PM
�Alright Sar, I�ll be home at like 1 or so.� Justin kissed me before he headed out of the kitchen and to the front door.
�Ok, so who are you going with? Where are you going?� I questioned feeling as if I was being messed with.
When he reached the door he answered, �Ya know, a few of ma boys. Pharell and �em.�
�And where?�
�Out to a bar or clubbin� or something like that. Don�t worry so much, I can see past that frown, I know what you�re thinking� SMILE, oh there it goes-� He laughed and tickled my ribs.
Trying my best to stay serious I fumbled out a �Have a good time Justin, just don�t do anything with ANYONE!!!�
�Pharell�s a sexy one lemme tell ya, I wanna tap that ass!� He tossed his hand in the air as if was gay and then laughed again, �See ya babe.�
This sucks, I thought, now I was stuck home alone AGAIN while he went out and partied. Partied� that reminded me it was Saturday and I had promised Evan that I�d call him and do something. This was my chance! I could actually go out and have fun instead of sitting there all damn night waiting up for Justin. Without any further thought I ran to the nearest phone and called him. We came up with a plan to meet over at the club �Ecstasy� over in the city at 9. Sounded more like a strip club than I dance club to me but I was still game. This time I decided that it�d be a better idea to wear my wig than go out with just looking like myself, especially if I was going to be around a ton of people. I hated this part and didn�t like the way the stupid, non-complimentary brunet mop of itchy hair looked on me. It was nasty, I looked like I belonged working at that �Ecstasy� club as a washed out stripper than going to chill out there. This thought made me giggle a little as I put it on. Maybe I was just over-exaggerating, maybe not, whatever it wasn�t like I was trying to impress anyone, or was I? Did I want to impress Evan?!
By the time that I got to the club it was packed. I wondered why, it was crazy people had cars backed up way into the street. I figured it was just because it was a Saturday night. Luckily, I caught someone right as they were pulling out so I was able to park. Evan was standing by the doors waiting for me. At first he didn�t recognize me but once I said something he let out a smile.
�Hey!� I chuckled, knowing that he was about to die thinking about how bad my hair looked.
�Sarah, y-you changed your hair?!� He gasped, attempting to sound pleasant.
Patting the top of it I smirked, �Does it look real?�
�Eh-yeah�. Oh God it isn�t? Why in the hell are you-�
�Shhh�. I just like variety.� I laughed, this had to be killing him, Audis, vacations, disclosed boyfriend, Hollywood Hills and now wigs� hahaha!
�Oh-I see. But uh, damn, what you�re wearing, is� nice.� His eyes danced across my body as if I was I page in a magazine.
�Thanks!� I blushed. I had on a black mini skirt, not too revealing not too conserved, a cute white top that only had one sleeve so it was cut at an angle, and some adorable boots. I looked pretty decent, at least my new body made up for the hair.
�Come on, I know the bouncer, we�ll get in with out any problem.� He grabbed my arm and lead me through the crowd and straight to the door. Sure enough he did know the guy, and we got in without any hassle what so ever. No Ids either which was a blessing on my part.
�This is crazy!� I shouted over the loud music. �I wonder why all these people are here!�
�I know! It�s nuts! I heard someone screaming on the way in about some hot guy here or something� I dunno what�s up!�
Hot guy�
�I see.� I nodded slowly, getting half way knocked down by some screaming chick.
�We betta get outta their way, come on, let�s go dance.� He once again grabbed my arm and we plowed through some people so that we were away from the wall. I had never really been to a huge club, just the lame 16 year old, non-alcoholic ones. But this was insane. I knew it had too many people then usual. Either way the songs where hot and I came to dance so I wasn�t gonna let the crowd get to me.
The song �Hot in Herre� By Nelly was playing so decided to let loose. At first there was about a foot between Evan and I but about half was through the song we were grinding, and let me tell you, that boy could dance! After 3 more songs we agreed upon checking out the bar.
Sitting down on the stool next to mine he asked, �What do you wanna drink, this time it�s on ME?�
�Long Island Ice Tea.� I replied loud enough for the bar tender to hear me.
�That it�ll be.� Evan smiled then questioned, �So, are you having fun yet?�
�Totally.� I watched the man mix our drinks.
�Good, pardon the blunt comment I�m about to make but damn gurl ya know how to shake that ass!� He laughed a little, then took a sip of his drink.
�Thanks.� I blushed, taking his hand into mine. What in the hell was I doing?! I was making a move on this guy�
Suddenly some girl walked up to him.
�Hey you!� She slugged his shoulder, causing him to pull away from my grip. This was a good thing.
�Oh my God, Hi Tonya, shit, I didn�t expect you here.� He stood up to greet her.
�Come on, I wanna dance E.� She drug him into the crowd. As he was being pulled he signaled with his finger that he�d be back in a second. Damn, what girl wouldn�t wanna dance with his fine self?! He was nice, I had to admit. Whew, I thought, this gives me a chance to correct my behavior and think. Too bad my thoughts were interrupted by some chicks obnoxious laugh. When I went to look over to my right to see who it was coming from my view was blocked by the back of a very familiar head.
�Oh no�� I muttered under my breath. It couldn�t be Justin.
�Yeah, that�s funny!� The still, way too audible girl exclaimed. I knew she just wanted in his pants. This made me sick.
�I try.� Justin remarked smoothly. Was he flirting?! Who was this girl? Where was Pharell? Did he lie to me about everything, about where he was going, about the people he was going with? Maybe that was why everyone was swarming to the club� because of him.
�So what are you doing later on?� She questioned, some what seductively.
�Goin� home.� He sighed, sounding as if it was something he dreaded.
This pissed me off. I wanted to confront him right then and there but I knew that it�d cause a scene, get him all pissy, make us fight, then he�d complain about me hanging out with some guy off of the street. This reminded me, the media was probably everywhere since he was in the building. All of these thoughts made me nervous so I quickly stood up and went to go find Evan, too late, he was already sitting back down. How long had I been staring at Justin?
�Hey, I�m back.� He said, sounded relieved.
�I wanna dance. Let�s go.� I demanded, trying to make any excuse to get away from the danger zone of Justin�s presents.
�Oh- ok, but what about our drinks?� He asked, still sitting.
�Guzzle em down!� I shrugged, gulping down my long island.
Evan watched me as if I was inhuman.
�Girls can guzzle too!� I exclaimed with a laugh, causing Justin to turn around. I could feel his eyes burning into my back.
�OH MY GOD! SARAH?!� He called loudly.
�let�s go!� I grabbed Evan�s arm, ignoring my boyfriend�s call and headed onto the dance floor.
Pulling me closer into his hips Evan said, �ya know, I heard that Justin Timberlake is here.�
�WHAT?!� I giggled trying to come off as if I was surprised.
�Yeah, I know, isn�t that insane? I haven�t seen him yet though, but there was some reporter guy swarming around a group of girls when I was dancing before though, it was so weird. If you want we can go look around for him, I mean I know that girls think he�s hot and-�
�No, no, not me.� I cut him off.
Sounding drawn back he replied, �For real? Good, I really dun feel like tracing his faggot ass round all night anyway.�
�Hahaha! I agree. Let�s just enjoy OUR time together.�
I tried to dance but I was just too nervous. What if Justin crept up behind us or something, then what? Putting his hands on my waist Evan questioned, �You alright?�
�Just fine.� I grumbled, Peaking over my shoulder at him.
�Ok good, so are we gonna dance or are we just here to stand and model?�
�Screw off!� I giggled, �I�m sorry I�m not getting as touchy as I was before, I can�t image the pain you must me going through.�
�Girl, shut up!� He playfully swatted at the back of my head, messing up my fake hair.
�Hey!� I exclaimed as I flattened the back of my head with my hand.
�Oh come on, it�s just hair, don�t trip out on me Sar.�
Realizing just how prissy I was sounding I replied, �You�re right. Come one let�s dance!�
�That�s what I�ve been telling you all damn night, let�s go.�
Before I knew it the two of us had caused a scene and were surrounded by an expanding circle of people, watching us dance. Suddenly I felt nervous again and as if I could loose my dinner. What if someone found out that I was the one and only Sarah Howard, the run away? God, I hated the sound of my own name, it reminded me of just how much of an idiot I was for even going with Justin in the first place. All the eyes, all the stares.
�Evan,� I began, feeling myself get dizzy with my thoughts. �I, I think I�m gonna be sick��
Discontinuing his movement he replied, �Come on, I�ll take you to the bathroom, you gonna be alright?�
�Go, go, go!!!� The crowd chanted rhythmically, hungry for more of our show.
�No�� I mumbled as I made a quick dash to the bathroom, which I thought was located to the right. Why was I getting like this, what was my problem, and where in the hell was a damn bathroom? Now I was lost in a sea of people, completely out of place. I didn�t know where Evan was anymore but I could hear him calling me from somewhere so I looked behind for him. When I went to turn back around I was stopped by a person in front of me.
�Whoa, ex- excuse me.� Justin smiled down at what he thought was a practical stranger, too bad it was me.
Keeping my head down and my eyes glued to his feet I muttered, �Sorry.� and went to walk away.
Grabbing my left arm, he pressed his lips against my ear.
�I know it�s you Sarah, I�m not blind.�
�Don�t talk to me, let go.� I wiggled free of his loose grip and continued on my quest to a bathroom.
�No, c�mon, who is he, who are YOU here with?�
�Excuse me, who�s he? Ha! Who�s that fake-bake, wore out chick with you?! I don�t even see Pharell either, I think you�re BS-ing me again.�
�About what?�
�About, well- everything, you cheating, where you go, it�s shit, and right now I got my own life to attend to, not yours.�
Pressing against my ear again he said, �I made your life what it is now.�
�Big F***ing deal, you accomplished making my life a living hell, ya� happy?� And with that comment I stormed off.
After I had angrily stumbled upon the bathroom I searched for Evan again.
�Oh my God, Sarah! You okay?� He asked as he sympathetically patted my back.
�I�m fine.� I replied, bear hugging my stomach. The nauseous feeling had subsided but I needed to put on a show, another lie, an excuse to get out of there.
�Do you wanna leave?�
Resting my head on his shoulder I nodded, �Yeah, ya� know, maybe that�d be a good idea, I�m sorry.�
He understood completely I could tell but I still felt as if I had ruined the whole night.
On our way out I spotted Justin freak dancing with that girl. I wasn�t surprised though. Someone�s gonna get laid tonight I muttered, disgusted at his figure. Evan offered to follow me home and stay with me until I felt better, not a piggish offer either, he just wanted to be sure that I was alright. I turned him down of course, once again my night was pissed away thanks to Justin. Oh well� what could I do?