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| IV. Employees � Part A. Every proper dicator has henchmen, as well as an army. The type of dictator you are is reflected by whom you employ. (Ex: telemarketers � they�re annoying, hence, the CEO must be annoying). So, choose your henchmen wisely, as you are probably stuck with them. � Classic Thugs � a favorite choice for masterminds. Long in use, dictators choose them for their loyalty. Thugs are like a one man army, even though some preschoolers have higher IQs. They vary in skills from goons who use anything lying around as weapons to trigger happy Mobsters. They can be trained to perform easy tasks like �Rob that bank� or �Kill good guys�. These henchmen are easy to replace, so use them for whatever you wish, even if it will lead to their demise. � Mad Scientists- great choice for the mastermind who needs a lot of hi-tech gadgets for his evil dealing. Their splintered minds can come up with al sorts of devices and schemes to assist you in your sinister plans, and they have a knack for the manufacture of doomsday devices and needlessly big weather machines. Mad Scientist may just be the choice for you! � Computer Programmers/Hackers- These fiendish beings are amongst the most despicable of all possible allies. Bad hair, odious personal habits, and an amazing ability to recite the entirety of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, their presence will only enhance your desire to do evil upon humanity. Whether you want to hack into the Strategic Defense Computer, destroy the economy of Japan, or slash some random guy�s credit rating, computer programmers will make it happen. But remember, these are a people to be feared. � Corporate Suits � excellent type of henchmen that can deal with the business world and fulfill all your economic needs. Perfect for corporate mergers and hostile takeovers, corporate businessmen are completely without conscience or mercy. They can plot world domination with you at the top of your corporate skyscraper and will cheerfully destroy people�s lives with simple executive decisions. � Animal Minions- For the criminal mastermind who has grown discontented with humanity, animal minions can be an excellent choice. Rats, birds, cats, whatever strikes your fancy, these creatures can act as your eyes and ears, and bow down to you as their leader. � Mutant race- these can be an excellent choice for minions, particularly when created in a secret lair. Be they fish-men, dog-men, crocodile-men or whatever cross race your evil mind thinks up, these hybrid races can act as your �children� and have all sorts of interesting powers. Misfortunately, they have a tendency to rebel against their masters, so make sure to instill a �self-destruct� gene that will kill all of them with the press of a button. That�ll learn �em! � Robot Warriors- an excellent choice for the supervillian who is also an evil genius, making a powerful army of unstoppable machines unimpaired by weaknesses such as mercy or pity. Robots can serve as foot soldiers and inflitration units. Many evil-doers like to use them as the new rulers of humanity(excluding themselves). Also, whenever one is destroyed, you can always wheel out ten more in its place from the factory. Just don't get them wet. � You work alone-Who needs minions? You don�t! You don�t need anybody! You�re gonna do it all by yourself, you are going to take over the world without anyone�s help and then laugh in all their faces. They sure will be sorry they laughed at you! They�ll rue the day they made fun of you when you destroy the earth and wipe all those festering people from the face of the planet! They�ll be sorry! Yeah! Ha-ha. Ha.Yeah... (Note: See Insanity motive) |