Evel Karaoke - The Bland Lunch Project

Tie Me Up With Handcuffs

Sung to the melody of "Tie a Yellow Ribbon," as performed by Tony Orlando and Dawn. This version mangled exclusively by Evel Karaoke.

My diaper's on, I'm filled with joy, 'cause I've been a very naughty little boy.
Miss, you've received my payment, so please bend me over your knee.
Because you know just what it is that I need done to me: heavy B and D.

Oh, tie me up with handcuffs 'round your old headboard.
I'm a masochist; that's all I can afford.
If I don't see those handcuffs 'round your headboard,
I'll masturbate, forget about our date, forget we ever whored,
If I don't see those handcuffs on that old headboard.

Dear madame please be cruel to me; I'd love to try your hand at sodomy.
I'm glad you brought your bullwhip; it's one of my favorite things.
An evid dominatrix with a set of nipple rings.
Oh, what a stiffy it brings. Everybody sing.

Oh, tie me up with handcuffs 'round your old headboard.
I'm a masochist; that's all I can afford.
If I don't see those handcuffs 'round your headboard,
Then I'll be gone, forget I was your john, forget we ever whored.
If I don't see those handcuffs on that old headboard.

Now my body's numb and tingly 'cause I can't believe I scored.
A fully equipped torture dungeon 'round the old headboard.
Woo haa...I ain't comin' home tonight, mama.

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