This week on "Faking the Band," hopeful, starry-eyed young up-'n'-comers descend upon Springfield, where auditions are being held by PopTartCo (a division of AOL/TimeWarner headed by "Papa" Lou Perlman) to fill slots in the next prefabricated, cold and calculated, ready-to-be-manipulated preteen marketing vehicle—or "boy band," as their label calls 'em.... Hundreds of future actor/waiters, chorus-boy wannabes, and escorts-in-training will vie for those five oh-so-coveted roles:

• The Nice One!
• The Bad One!
• The Funny One! (aka The Homely One)
• The Straight One!
• ...and...the Pretty One! (aka The Girl)

The Drama! The Excitement! The Laughter! The Tears! The Bitchery! The Horror...Hotter than O-Town! Younger than Youngstown! Straight outta Watertown!

They're...Faking The Band!

And don't miss our NEXT electrifying episode, wherein the competition gets down 'n' dirtry...and so do the judges...!

"C'mon baby! Say 'Who's yer Papa?!?!' Sing it like a bird!"