The opening section is simply a rare glimpse into how Ikari thinks. I had to be very careful how I handled Ikari on his own, since so little of his personality is really established in the series. So I took key elements confirmed in the series, and extrapolated them into a whole personality, mixing my theories about the truth of what was happening in the series in for good measure. It seemed to me that Ikari only really cared about Yui, and that Shinji had some of his affection simply because she was Yui's son. And by 'really care', I mean he actually had some emotional attachment, not that that attachment was large or particularly obvious. I also used the scene to further villify him to the reader, since Rei is obviously a full human with a soul by this point in the story, and his 'blindness' to that fact makes him look both foolish and evil.
Noticing a precious lack of Misato/Kaji moments in my own story, I decided to put the second scene in with little hesitation. It also allowed me to put my own spin on their relationship, showing a greater maturity in Misato, and Kaji's genuine love for her, being perfectly able to stop when she clearly (and honestly) refused his advances. That really is the point of the scene, and I simply did my best to maintain Kaji's 'playboy' style with Misato's rare vulnerability in his presence. I felt she tended to go from 'Major Katsuragi' to a very feminine Misato in Kaji's presence (especially in his arms...). For personal reasons, even if I chose to maintain the nature of their relationship in the series, I wouldn't bother with a sex-scene. Unnecessary, especially since it's already established in the series, and simply not my style.
As always, I love focusing on Ayanami-sama for any reason, even if it's the sad nature of a conflicted, tormenting sequence in her mind. Rei's nightmare here really demonstrates her inner conflict, her growth to this point, and the effects of the Kenosis plot so far. I used familiar images from the series (the 'other' self), with my own spin (the darkness, and the transfer from Rei's despair to Cirus' hopeful and pleading responses. In effect, Cirus is Rei's personal symbol for hope, since, sadly, he's about the only source of it in her life. I fully intend that, as she grows more and more happy with herself, his role as the 'voice of her hope' will fade for her own strength, but Cirus was always my device for helping Rei reach that point, and so I felt little trouble in using him in her mind this way. Her tears in her sleep show that the real change is starting, she is beginning to hope in and of herself, while still remaining who she is.
To be honest, this entire 'final Angel' sequence is a bit hard for me to read to myself now. It has been several years since I finished the original draft of what is now Kenosis, but the real bulk of the story is unchanged from that draft. I think, if I was willing to give Kenosis more thorough revision, as I've said before, I would almost completely re-write this battle (including the finish in chapter 26) with better description, some changes in pace, and less, what I feel to be, repetition. I simply feel I could've done better, but I think it's time to call Kenosis 'complete', and move on as a writer.
The sequence with Asuka and Hyuga is simply the introduction of the Angel while making sure two characters don't fall out of the spotlight of the story completely. Asuka/Hyuga is a rarely broached dynamic in any fan-fiction or series (for ample reason), so it seemed an interesting mix to try for an otherwise straight-forward sci-fi sequence. The obvious similarities to the Sea of Dirac from the series with the shadow in the city really bother me now, but that's moot.
The brief sequence between Fuyutsuki and Ikari is important for characterization of the elder of the pair. Fuyutsuki's personality really comes through here, for me, and I was pleased with how well it blended with my own desires and goals for the story. Perhaps other fans find this completely off-base, but I'm pleased with the sequence and what it does for Koso.
I find myself wondering 'why is Asuka at the school' at the start of the next section. I think I intended for it to be 'the next day' or something, but I obviously didn't make that clear, and must have taken an extended break from the story when originally drafting this and the Hyuga/Asuka section. A mistake I may yet fix, honestly, but for now it is simply enough time after the original 'shadow' incident for the three students of the pilots to be at school while NERV tries to figure things out.
Regarding the start of the battle itself, with Asuka approaching the 'ovoid', I simply reaffirm Ikari's greater protectiveness of Rei, and give Asuka some more positive page-time. Her 'bratty' nature is simply humorous rather than aggravating in this scene, I feel, and that was what I intended. That Ikari lets Asuka be ordered to touch the Angel tells the reader a lot if they've seen the series, and Kaji's reaction helps reaffirm that idea for any fresh readers. And, of course, that fear is quite well-justified considering what happens... And on to the next part.