Chapter 12: "Nightmare Fear"; part 2

Rei awoke at about seven o'clock the next morning. She sat up in the bed, and then remembered where she was. After hopping out of the bed with surprising finesse, she stood up. Her hair was, of course, messy, but it was really a small matter, and so she just ignored the desire to clean it. Instead, she quietly walked over to the doorway to look out into the sitting room. She was somewhat surprised to see Cirus sitting in the chair at the far wall, his head lolled in sleep, and his glasses on the table. His chest rose and fell rhythmically each breath.

Rei questioned whether to just leave and go to NERV without waking him, or to wake him and then do so. Since he was expected to report also, she walked across the room to him, and then leaned down to his face.

"Mr. Trent, I believe it is time to report to the command center," she said calmly and quietly, not wanting to startle him awake.

Cirus' eyebrows arched and his head rose up with his eyes abnormally wide, but they fluttered down to their normal openness soon, and he looked up at her. "Ah, yes. Thank you, Miss Ayanami. Did you have a pleasant rest?" he asked, aware that his glasses were on the table across from him.

Rei seemed surprised by the question. "Y-yes, thank you."

Cirus nodded his apparent approval. When Rei backed away from him, he stood up. She noted that he quickly whipped his glasses off the table and put them on. Then he walked over to a coat rack in the corner of the room, holding his very long, black coat. "I was worried you might not have slept with what happened yesterday," he said calmly as he put his coat on.

Rei looked down at the ground. "Yes..."

Realizing of what he'd reminded her, he looked over his shoulder. "My apologies."

"It is alright," Rei replied, looking back up.

Cirus walked back up to her with a faint smile. His eyebrows creased slightly as he reached up to her face, but then he stopped and his smile faded with his hand just a few inches away. He flashed another smile, and let his hand fall back down. "...You have some hair over your eye," he told her calmly.

She reached up herself and brushed it aside. "Would you like me to accompany you to headquarters, or would you rather go a-" he cut himself off, "by yourself?"

"Are you afraid of me?" she asked abruptly, looking up at his eyes through the glasses.

Tired of making her look through them, he took them off, and looked back into her eyes. "No, I'm not. I just don't want to... force you to do anything," he answered.

"You fear forcing me to do anything?"

"...You have a certain eloquence with words, Miss Ayanami," he answered after a pause. "Yes."

"What do you fear forcing me to do?"

"Anything," he repeated with raised eyebrows, thinking it was clear from his previous answer.

"Not anything, something especially," Rei persisted. "You are still afraid to touch me, even though I've given you permission."

Cirus smiled through an almost pained expression at her. "You have given me permission, yes, but I could misuse that permission and hurt you."

"Then you fear hurting me?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you say you feared 'forcing' me first?"

Cirus swallowed a lump in his throat and looked down at the ground. "...In truth, I really don't know what is happening to me either. I feel different around you, Miss Ayanami. Very different."

"Does it hurt you?"

Cirus shook his head almost wistfully. "No... no..." he repeated more softly, "quite the opposite in fact."

Rei looked up into his eyes and calmly scanned them as she had before. His eyes were still afraid as they looked into hers. Rei realized he wasn't afraid of her, but something else, something she didn't understand or know yet. She averted her eyes, feeling as if she was somehow hurting him by staring at him too intently.

"My eyes scare you now?" he asked. She could hear a new pain in his tone that she hadn't meant to cause.

"No, I didn't want to disturb you," she answered looking back into his eyes.

Cirus was taken aback. She was concerned for him. He numbly shook his head and backed up, stumbling on the chair and falling back into it.

"Are you injured?" she asked, her eyes slightly widened.

"N-no I'm not," he answered after calming down his racing heart. "And no, you don't disturb me, Miss Ayanami. You never disturb me."

"I can see you when I look into your eyes. I can see the fear you have, but I can't see the reason for its presence," Rei explained, walking up to Cirus gently.

"Yet you know what it is..." Cirus led off, looking up at her.

She nodded once calmly. Then shock flared through Cirus when she reached up with her hand and stroked his cheek. "I can feel it now..."

Cirus reached up with his hand and touched the one she was using to caress his face. Rei could see that his hand was shivering, as well as feel it when he touched hers. He slowly let his hand fall back down, and looked up into her eyes. She finally pulled her hand away, and stepped back, letting Cirus stand up again.

He let out a quick sigh, and then smiled at her lightly. "So... by yourself or would you rather have me accompany you?" he repeated with another steadying breath.

"I do not want to go alone," she replied.

Cirus nodded to her calmly and then they walked to the door. He opened it, let her out first, and then walked with her to NERV headquarters.

*****

Just an hour later, the synch-lab was unusually busy considering no pilots were present for tests. Maya looked up from her screen and shook her head. "There's nothing in the test plug system, Dr. Akagi. I can't find out what caused Rei's attack..." she led off.

Ritsuko thoughtfully looked down at the screen. They had checked, rechecked, and then triple-checked every single system involved even remotely to the test plug system and synch lab, and had found absolutely nothing. Perhaps it was caused by Rei herself...

"There's nothing here that says we can't do another test today..." Hyuga said slowly.

"I doubt Rei will go in," Ritsuko replied.

"That's if you don't order her," Shigeru commented.

Ritsuko turned to Ayobi with a glare. "She was traumatized in there yesterday, she has a right to refuse!"

"Dr. Akagi, he was just referring to-"

"I know what he was referring to Maya," Ritsuko cut Maya off abruptly.

"...Y-yes, Dr. Akagi, I'm sorry for..." Maya's voice trailed off as she brought her hand up to her mouth.

Ritsuko�s eyes closed instead of a full wince, turning apologetic. "No, I'm sorry. You may go if you want, Maya."

Maya nodded and then quickly ran out of the lab, crying.

"Hoi, how did she get into this job?" Hyuga asked, shaking his head.

"She shouldn't be punished for innocence," Ritsuko replied sharply.

Hyuga nodded that instant, and went back to checking systems.

The lab door opened and Ritsuko looked up to see who it was. "Ah, Misato."

The Major walked in, pointing behind herself. "What happened to Maya?"

Ritsuko aimed a distant glance down at the screen. "I snapped at her."

"Ah," Misato replied knowingly. "Well, what's the situation?"

Hyuga shook his head. "Nothing. There's nothing in here."

"Yes, we can't find anything," Ritsuko confirmed.

"So you think it was Rei then?" Misato asked slowly.

Ritsuko bowed her head. "I won't say anything about it officially."

Misato nodded, quite aware of the situation. Ritsuko either thought it would hurt Rei or herself through Rei. Either course was unacceptable to Misato.

The four pilots walked in from another entrance in the lab. Misato turned around, and found Rei with her eyes.

"Rei, you don't have to do this today," she said.

"No, I will go," Rei replied.

Misato eyes widened slightly. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Very well then, Rei. Alright, all four of you get into the test plugs," Misato ordered calmly, and turned back around.

The four pilots left the lab. It took them a few minutes to change into their plug-suits and load into the test-plugs, but were soon in the test plugs.

"After what happened to Ayanami I'm not sure I want to do this," Shinji commented.

Misato didn't reply. She didn't like it either. Just as the test was starting, Maya walked back in, and sat down at her chair. Misato noticed that Ritsuko put her hand on Maya's shoulder and smiled down at the younger woman, who smiled back and then went about her usual work.

Asuka looked around her test plug, bored as usual. She didn't even understand why they had to do these idiotic tests anymore; they were all fully functional with their Evas now.

A flash of something distracted her for a moment, but she shook her head and opened her eyes. Strange...

Shinji tried to focus more heavily on his Eva, just to see if his synch rate would go up that day. He closed his eyes and focused on nothing else, quickly dismissing any stray thoughts.

He suddenly felt disoriented, and, though it faded as fast, it was enough to snap him from his concentration. He decided it was too hard anyway, and so just relaxed in the plug.

"That's odd..." Maya commented.

"What is it?" everyone asked her abruptly.

She looked up and realized why they were so edgy. "Asuka and Shinji's synch rates just fell two points each."

Misato looked at Ritsuko with a puzzled expression. Ritsuko shook her head, but then leaned down by Maya. "Maya, give me Rei's synch record from yesterday, just before she screamed."

Maya quickly punched it up, and she and Ritsuko watched as it dived a full thirty points. Ritsuko's eyes widened in sudden realization and fear. "Pull them out-" she was cut off by Shinji and Asuka's screams.

Shinji was fine until he'd seen a sudden vision of Misato slapping him across the face. He didn�t understand why she�d done it, but then he saw everyone else behind her, all glaring at him, and obviously very, very angry. They all hate me?...

And then he saw his father standing above him raising his hand. Father, no!

Asuka saw her mother flash in her mind, hanging from the ceiling. She narrowed her eyes and shouted, No! But then the vision changed. The nine Evas she'd defeated, all rising up and flying into the air, but this time Unit 01 never appeared. As the nine Evas dived down at her, her eyes widened. Defeat...

Hyuga again slammed the control to pull all four plugs out. As the mechanical workings started, Ayobi did a scan of the entire system. "There�s nothing there!" he reported in disbelief.

Misato had already run out of the lab, as she had the day before.

"Drain the LCL," Ritsuko ordered.

"But they are still being pulled out. That could disrupt the equipment," Maya reported.

"Just do it!" Ritsuko shouted.

Maya nodded and hit the control, allowing the LCL to rapidly disperse out of the test plugs. She looked down at her screen in shock. Their synch rates were returning to normal even as the last remains of LCL vanished, severing the monitor link.

Misato leapt up to the grating, and ran around to Shinji and Asuka's test plugs. Cirus and Rei leapt out of theirs, and ran around to help her. Asuka was still calm as they pulled her out, but it was clear she was badly shaken. Shinji, in fact, appeared normal as he climbed down calmly.

Cirus turned to Shinji. "Are you alright?" he asked.

Shinji looked at him for a moment before saying, "Oh! Yes."

Cirus nodded and turned back to Asuka. She was able to stand, but her eyes were wide and she was staring down at the grating.

"Asuka?" Misato asked quietly.

Asuka abruptly looked up at Misato, her word bursting out like a flood, "Ididn'twantto, Ididn'twantto, Ididn'twantto..." she kept repeating and repeating.

Misato held her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. "Asuka, calm down. It's all right, it wasn't real. Whatever you saw, it wasn't real."

Asuka started to calm down. "...It wasn't real?"

Misato shook her head. "Not real. Whatever you saw, it's not real."

"Are you sure?" Shinji asked.

Misato looked up to him and nodded vigorously. "Positive."

Cirus looked at Rei. She was standing away from the small cluster of them, but was looking on with calm intent.

Misato was calming down Asuka, and Shinji appeared to be recovering from his own attack quickly. After a few minutes the Major looked up at Cirus. "I think you and Rei will be the only ones helping with the city today," she explained.

Cirus nodded. He agreed anyway.

"I can help!" Asuka said forcefully.

Cirus and Misato looked at her, and they both realized what she'd seen. Cirus nodded and smiled to her. "Three's better than two," he replied.

"I can still pilot, it was just... very disconcerting..." Shinji replied also.

"Are you sure?" Misato asked them both. They both nodded.

"Fair enough, but, at the first sign of any trouble, you report it, and start heading back to your launch pad. Understood?"

All affirmative replies met her order.

*****

Unit 01 lifted a building into place and then set it down into the framework. The Eva stepped back, and human workers rushed in to start attaching various systems and link-ups to it. Cranes moved in to help lodge the building into place for movement.

Shinji looked up and around himself to see the three other Evas doing similar work elsewhere on the cover. Already over half the city was in place, and they had only been working for eight hours. It was amazing how quickly they worked when they had a large enough amount of people.

Ritsuko was monitoring the operation for a short while, as Misato had been called to Ikari's office, undoubtedly to explain the attacks the pilots had endured in the test plugs. Ritsuko looked down at Maya's screen. "Keep an eye on their synch ratios. If you see even a slight drop, notify me immediately. Even a slight drop," she repeated with emphasis.

Maya nodded once firmly, "Yes, ma'am."

As this was going on, Misato was indeed reporting the events that had taken place in the synch lab to Ikari and Fuyutsuki.

"First Rei, and now Asuka and Shinji. Have you identified why Cirus was not affected?" Ikari asked.

Misato shook her head. "We don't even know why the other three went into these... seizures. It has something to do with their fears in all three cases, though."

Fuyutsuki chuckled. "Are you saying the boy is fearless, Major Katsuragi?" he asked with a wry smile.

Misato admitted it sounded like she said that with a nod. "But I didn't intend it that way. I think it has to do with... mental stability. Cirus, being a spy, must have a sounder mind than even a normal person. The other three pilots, as you well know... have had rougher lives..."

Fuyutsuki raised his head thoughtfully and then nodded. "She has a point."

"Perhaps, but you must see where my suspicion is coming from, Major," Ikari replied.

Misato nodded. "I do, Sir."

Ikari could see the look on her face, and narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "You may speak freely, Major."

She nodded her thanks. "I don't think he would do that to them, even if he was ordered to by SEELE," she said.

This drew both Ikari and Fuyutsuki's attention. "Why do you say that?" Fuyutsuki asked.

"A hunch," Misato lied.

Ikari raised an eyebrow. "You expect us to allow a possible threat to stay in our command center based solely on your hunch, Major?"

Misato shook her head. "No sir, but that is what I think."

"Or do you have another reason you�re not telling us?" Ikari went on.

Misato shook her head once more. "No, sir."

Ikari narrowed his eyes again. "Since we have no proof, as yet, we could not stop him in any event at this time. I want you to look into this, Major."

Misato swallowed hard. He was asking her to try and catch Cirus red-handed. If he was guilty she wouldn't have a problem bringing him down, but Ikari didn't like him there anyway, and could resort to... other methods. "Yes, sir," she replied finally.

"Dismissed," Ikari said.

Misato saluted and then left the office.

"You must admit, he inspires trust in everyone," Fuyutsuki commented.

Ikari made a thoughtful mumble of agreement as he continued to look ahead with his hands clasped before his face. "True, but that is a spy's greatest ability."

Fuyutsuki raised a graying eyebrow. "Do you not think he would have acted already?"

"We don't know what SEELE is trying to do to NERV," Ikari pointed out.

"That's your excuse," Fuyutsuki replied.

"True."

The Vice-Commander's brow creased and he looked at Gendo directly. "With the situation as it is, how can you try and hold onto Rei like this?"

Ikari remained motionless. "Because we don't know what to expect."

"She has already disobeyed you twice. Do you think removing him will change that?"

"Yes."

Koso's expression became more grave. "Don't do this, Ikari. Don't do this to Rei. You must see she's grown an attachment to him."

"That is irrelevant."

"Then look," Fuyutsuki said, pointing out the office window.

Unit 00 was below the cover, helping to secure buildings on the underside.

"Her synch rate has gone up five points since his arrival. It looks like he is good for her to me," the Vice-Commander continued.

Finally, Ikari's brow creased somewhat. "Her value as a pilot is moot. She is a key."

"You said yourself that destroying Angels was our first priority. In that respect, he is helping us immensely," Koso responded calmly.

Ikari stood up. "But destroying Angels was never difficult for us. Especially with Unit 01 as it is."

Fuyutsuki turned and stepped back, keeping Gendo in his sight. "Then perhaps you should look at it this way: If SEELE could so badly misinterpret the scrolls, perhaps they are wrong about third impact? What if it never happens?"

"That's absurd, Fuyutsuki. The Room of Gauf is empty. Third Impact must happen for humanity to move on, that is the way it must be."

"How do we know? The birthrate is rising again, however little. And we learned about Third Impact from the Dead Sea Scrolls."

Ikari narrowed his eyes. "You've been thinking about this for some time, Fuyutsuki."

"Indeed I have."

Ikari looked out the window at Unit 00 and didn�t say another word.

*****

"Ugh, I hate this work," Asuka whined after Unit 02 had just helped place a building in the eastern part of Tokyo-3. She looked up and scanned the immediate area. The city was coming back nicely, in fact. The buildings were half-way in defense formation so they were all shorter than normal, but all in all it was starting to look like the old city again. She saw Units 01 and 14 working off in the distance at the other two portions of the city. "Where's Rei?" she asked her Eva. It didn't respond of course. "Hmph. Little wind-up doll probably got lost because no one told her where to go."

When Unit 00 arrived above the covering on a launch pad beside Unit 02 Asuka was thankful her comm was off.

A male voice came over the comm system. "Alright. The city is about ninety percent complete, but it's late, so we'll stop 'till tomorrow."

Then Misato's voice came on calmly. "All Evas report back to base."

Asuka happily set Unit 02 on its launch pad and let herself descend again. Flashes of her vision in the test plug put a damper on her high spirits. It was obvious to her it wasn't real now, but it was none the less disturbing. Especially since she had no idea what had caused it in the first place. Now she knew why Rei, wind-up doll that she was, had been so frightened. Hers must have been awful.

As Unit 02 descended into the large cage area Asuka saw Ikari standing near the dock for Unit 14. Asuka narrowed her eyes suspiciously and decided to keep an eye on him.

Unit 14 docked shortly after Unit 02 and Cirus hopped down to see Ikari staring at him. Cirus saluted.

"Do not forget that I know who sent you here, Mr. Trent," Ikari said to him.

"Why would that cause a problem, Commander?" Cirus asked back, his eyebrow raised.

"Remember that I do not trust you as the others do," the Commander replied and then left.

Cirus narrowed his eyes at Ikari's back and clenched his fists. He came all the way down here just to say that to me?

As Unit 01 docked beside him, Cirus started off toward the locker room.

Asuka had seen Unit 14 dock and Cirus hopping down to see Ikari. She then saw Ikari's mouth move and then Cirus' in reply, his face seemed inquisitive. Ikari said something and then left. Asuka looked back at Cirus and saw his fists clenched, but then Unit 01 docked between them and she couldn't see anything, so she climbed out of her entry plug.

She saw Cirus heading for the locker room and ran to catch him. "Cirus?! What happened?"

Cirus turned to her abruptly, surprised by her shout. "Ah Asuka," he said calming down, "Nothing's wrong."

"What did Commander Ikari say to you?" she asked.

She saw Cirus' face flatten and he raised his eyebrow. "Nosy young woman, aren't you?"

She narrowed her eyes in irritation, but persisted. "Well?"

"Private conversation, Asuka," Cirus answered with a wry smile and then went into the locker room.

Asuka frowned at his back. I'll find out one way or another...

*****

As Cirus was walking towards the exit of NERV headquarters he saw Rei doing the same from the other direction. He suddenly remembered to what she would be going home, and gritted his teeth. When they both arrived at the gate, he turned to her with a slight smile. "Miss Ayanami, will be alright tonight?" he asked.

Rei looked up at him calmly and nodded. "Yes."

Cirus returned the gesture. "Good... Miss Ayanami, feel free to come to my apartment any time you wish, day or night. Should you feel the inclination," he explained calmly, hiding his inner emotions. Please, don't go back there...

Rei looked surprised by the offer. "...Thank you."

"No need to thank me, Miss Ayanami," Cirus said in his own calm manner, with a bow of his head. He turned and opened the gate with his card.

He stepped aside and let her walk through first. After Rei passed, Cirus followed through, and watched her walk off the other direction... alone. He swallowed and looked down at the ground before starting on his own walk home. She had lived that way for so long that she was indeed probably fine, but it was her complacency with it that bothered him. She was like a tamed animal, and that's exactly how she was treated. Cirus squeezed his fist so powerfully that blood started to seep out around his fingers. How could they do this to her?

He forced himself to unclench his hand, his face a cold mask as the burning sting passed through his hand from the four open wounds in his palm.

She didn't deserve this... Especially not her.


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