Webster Dictionary's primary definition of LOVE is

(1) a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties  

(2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers

(3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests  b : an assurance of love  

Now in this day and age who could have thought that one word could be so powerful. That single word can destroy friendships or mold a relationship that will last for an eternity. In my real world encounters I have come across people using the word "love" so frequently that I wonder if they even know what it really means. I don't think I have ever said "I love you!" to a girl. I've signed a few cards "Love, Dave" but never have I said I love you.

More recently though, I've started to wonder what it would take for me to say that phrase and truly and genuinely mean it. There are definately people in my life that I love and the love is reciprocated but that love is almost guaranteed. After all, why wouldn't my family love me???

For those of you that have read "The Way She Makes Me Feel" I think you have a good idea on how my mind works. For those of you that haven't, get reading. I think the whole kinship and friendship base is the key to finding and developing a strong bond between two folks. Who can really say with 100% confidence that they are trully in love with a person within a week of meeting them? They would have to be out of their mind to do something like that. I mean, seriously, what percentage of the population trully falls in love "at first sight". They may fall in "Lust at first sight" but love is the bond that is built over time. Its a deeper, stronger, more fulfilling feeling than anyone could ever imagine. Unfortunately in today's world too many people are falling head over heels in LUST and mistaking it for love. I will admit that some people do trully fall in love at first sight but as a professor once taught me, there are two stages of love: lust and true love. Lust of course is that feeling that you get when you are so madly attracted to someone that all you can think about is getting home and hopping in bed with them. but after the thrill of the chase is over, who do you really want to be with? What about those small personality quirks that you constantly overlooked because it didn't matter to you? After the honeymoon phase is over, thats when you find out if you are truly in love.

True love comes with open communication. I can recall a time when I was so scared to tell a girl how I felt about her because of the fear of rejection. I still have that fear but I've come to realize that if you are willing to go out on a limb and tell someone how you feel about them, it will often times make you feel better and if the bond is strong, the relationship will strengthen. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not perfect. I have a few things about me that aren't perfect! But its those things that make each one of us unique. The one you end up falling in love with is often the one who you are best friends with. From talking to people I know, about 50% of the folks never thought they would be getting married and having kids with the person they did. Some of the couples didn't even realized how much they loved each other until suddenly one day something happened and their friendship took a new turn and it was like magic.

If I have to pick out one illustration of an amazing love it would have to be the love that my grandparents had. My grandparents were married through an arranged marriage but over the many years and petty arguments they eventually found the deeper and fonder love. On the evening that my grandfather died, I remember my grandmother telling me that she didn't know what to do because the house was too quiet. She hated my Grandfather's loud annoying boister at 3 a.m. until suddenly it was gone. I guess that is what love it like. You don't know what you are missing until you don't have it anymore.

So I guess love really is a journey! A discovery of who you are as well as who those around you are. Take a minute to sit down with those you love and those who you really care about and simply tell them. Remember that love, like perfection, comes only after you sand down the many burrs that life creates.