newyork

NEW YORK/DIRTY JERSEY Special Gold Edition
     In a recent adventure, cofounders of greatness, Steph T. Great and Sherman T. German flew 900 miles via the nubular atmosphere. They awoke at 0500 hours to be delivered to General Mitchell International Airport, Milwaukee, WI. Things went well. Milwaukee is great. Newark SUCKS. We arrived at Newark at 1050 hours. While looking for our luggage, we spotted our chauffers, who, not carrying signs to greet us, looked directly at us and walked away. Damn guys are dumb. What on earth was that?!?!? Madness. Steph T.G. then proceeded to run through the airport calling their names. Apparently unphased by this, the two chauffers continued their step. Finally, they were caught and the fun began. We drove through Newark, which we termed Dirty Jersey. The roads were littered, graffitied, and median-less. Having been thoroughly unamused by the front-seat duo, the backseat decided to take action and create their own amusement. This was done through the use of stuffed animals, superglue, and cigars. Sherman took hold of the bear while Stephanie captured the badger and held him captive in the door. Meanwhile, warden Sherman held Ted E. Bear hostage in the door handle. Which remained there unnoticed and starving for the seven day period. The duck would not keep quiet, so he was the next victim. We stuffed him in the gulliotine(head-rest) with a cigar under each wing. The cigars have been confiscated as it is currently illegal for ducks to obtain nicotine. And Mike hates us. The End.

NEW JERSEY INVENTION
     Due to the complete impracticality of them, left turn signals have now been banned from New Jersey motor vehicles and R.V's. In a new patent, patent #212511212511, Stephanie and Sherman secured the new New Jersey Safe Cars. The reason for this is that there are no damn left turn lanes in NJ, which cause one to take more time to turn around. This delay is completely unecessary and must be eliminated ASAP. However, NJ roads are no where as near as cool as WI roads. No tolls here, thank you very much. We also believe in 30 second left turns and medians, as opposed the 6 minutes it takes to make a "left turn" (i.e. out of Loew's Theatre). This invention will save time and energy and you will all buy one damnit. This leads us to conclude that WI rules, NJ drools. Yeeeeee-yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

PATH TRAINS : HOW IN THE HELL?!?!?!?
     How the hell do they get those damn trains down there?!?! Seriously folks,have you seen the entrances?!?!?! It's phenomenal. You cannot reasonably tell me you can fit a train down there. Surely, this is the work of some higher supreme being, such as Elvis or the Loch Ness Monster.
But, according to geniuses here on earth, the have a service station with a track that goes down into it. Lies. It was the monster I say. If anyone has further tips leading to the capture and arrest of these path trains, please contact us at 1-800-PATH-TRAINS.

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GIRLS BEAT BOY IN BOWLING MATCH
     Due to the fact that girls are superior to boys, Stephanie and Sherman kicked Ted's ass in bowling in NJ on Dec. 29, 2001. While acheiving three consecutive strikes, Ted was still clearly dragging so far behind the cofounders that his ghetto ass was barely a dot in our view. Mike has "four days to sweep her off her feet" Did ya meet your deadline, Mike? Inquiring minds would like to know. Mike also made fun of us for being agriculturely superior to NJ, apparently he is jealous. Our cows are not appreciated in dirty Jersey. Those ghetto ass mofos wouldn't know know a good cow if they were were milking one. The cell phone comments were not appreciated either. For this, there will be a surprise cow-dropping at West Point on February 2, 2002, at 0202 hours. Confidential to Mike:Sleep with one eye open. And yes, we are COOL.

RE-ENACTMENT OF NJ PHONE CONVO.
*Ring Ring*
Ted: yo
Mike: sup?
Ted: where da fuck you been at, bitch? [steph and sherman giggle and mock from across the room]
Mike: who cares, the best lines are said.

     In another example...

Ted: Yo, Maria was supposed to call my ass back.
Sherman(across the room): You mean your ass? and not your head?
Ted: Damn you's. Shut up yo.

     Even preppy pea-coat guys used such vulgarities when speaking. By the way, single people, they were hot and rich, nice specimens, class A meat. For the hookup, [in irish accent] call Miss Cleo now for your free reading.

COMING SOON: PHOTOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOTS OF THEM. photographic journal of NY/NJ trip

     Also....... CALIFORNIA!!!!

     Anyone interested in making history happen is invited to partake in this wonderful excursion to CA. Details ahead. Please contact us if interested. The opportunity of a lifetime. Don't miss it.

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