| Horoscopes Aries (March 21 - April 19): You will prosper in financial endeavors when you screw a goat. Taurus (April 20 - May 20): You will be killed in a tanning bed. Gemini (May 21 - June 20): You will be the next sausage king. Cancer (June 21 - July 22): You are damn cool, yo. Where da fuck you been at, bitch? Leo (July 23 - Aug 22): TED. You are a terrible tour guide. :o) You will stop your ghetto ways and change NJ forever with the invention of the left turn lane. Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22): You will get a speeding ticket in hell. Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22): You will be overjoyed to learn that you can fly. Your joy will be short-lived however when you are eaten by an eagle. Long Live America. Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21): Your tweezers and nail scissors will be confiscated by Newark Airport Security personel. You should know better than to carry such weaponry on aircrafts.If your name is Scottie, you will be beamed up. And you are cool. Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21): You will live forever. Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19): You will watch porn[with an evil plot] and drink blue caracao in a lonely hotel room on new years. Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18): You will have four days to sweep her off her feet. Good luck, buddy. Pisces (Feb 19 - March 20): You are #1. I am #1. 2 is not a winner and three nobody remembers. Cuz I am #1. Would you light my candle? Newark, NJ airport SCANDAL Stephanie and Sherman were innocently walking along thru the security with their carry-on bags. Signs say NO KNIFES beyond this point. However, two delightful young cofounders were STOPPED and examined. Sherman's BELT set off the alarm...as did Stephanie's jean button...DAMN clothes. They proceeded to be RUDE and search our bags. Stephanie's tweezers were considered a weapon. Since when can you kill someone with tweezers? MADNESS. Stephanie decided to check her bag and all was well...so we THOUGHT. Until we returned to security, which we told we could bypass. ONCE again we were searched...DAMN security to HELL. This time...to their amazement... Sherman's bag was searched, which was once thru and found clean, this time they TOOK away her tweezers and nail scissors...DAMN THEM. When we finally got through this ruckus. Angered, sore from luggage, tired, and bah...a kind man with a cart offered to give us a lift to our gate. If only the security had been so nice. We told him to move to Milwaukee because it is a damn cool place, and he agreed. He will be moving in less than two weeks. YEAH! We were overjoyed when served apple cinnamon cheesecake on our flight. Thank you. |