boundaries-2.page

                                      "Setting Your Boundaries" study guide p. 2
                                                            Printable format

                      EXAMPLES OF EXTERNAL PHYSICAL BOUNDARY VIOLATIONS:
    A. Standing too close to a person without his/her permission.
    B. Touching a person without his/her permission.
    C. Getting into personal belongings and living space such as one's bedroom, purse,
         wallet, mail, and closet.
    D. Listening to personal conversations or telephone conversations without permission.
    E. Not allowing a person to have privacy or violating a person's right to privacy.
    F. Exposing others to physical illness due to your having a contagious disease.
    G. Smoking around nonsmokers in an identified nonsmoking area.

                     EXAMPLES OF SEXUAL BOUNDARY VIOLATIONS:
    A. Touching a person sexually without his/her permission.
    B. Demanding sexual activity without your consent.
    C. Demanding unsafe sexual practices that leave you vulnerable to disease or a pregnancy..
    D. Leaving pornography where others who do not wish to or should not see it may see it.
     E. Exposing oneself to others without their consent.
     F. Staring or looking at another person lustily (voyeurism) without his/her permission.
     G. Exposing sexual activities or body parts visually or conversationally without
    consent.

                    EXAMPLES OF INTERNAL BOUNDARY VIOLATIONS
    A. Yelling and screaming
    B. Name calling or insults
    C. Ridiculing a person
    D. Lying
    E. Breaking commitments
    F. Patronizing a person
    G. Telling a person how he/she should be or what he/she should do
    H. Negative Control
    I . Being sarcastic
    J. Shaming a person
    K. Using guilt to control a person
    L. Using the Christian faith to contol a person. Example: If you really are a Christian, then you will take this job in the church. How can you call yourself a Christian and go to the dance?

Circle the boundary violations where others have invaded your space.

You probably have felt something was wrong with the way your space was being violated. Hopefully, this exercise will help you see clearly when others have come through your "gate" and stood on your porch without your permission trying to force something on you that you didn't want. Isn't it time to close the gate and take charge of your life? If you are a minor under 18 and your sexual boundaries are being violated, you need to immediately tell someone in authority like a parent, pastor, teacher, school counselor, or even call the police. If you need further counsel, please email me, Pastor Dan White.

Prayer: Father, help me to establish my external, sexual, and internal boundaries, and help me not to violate the boundaries of others. Give me strength to say no. May my only motivation to serve You and to serve others be love and not shame, guilt, or the sarcastic remarks directed at me by someone else. My selfhood, my ego is so fragile at times, and I feel so angry after I have opened the gate and let anyone into my life - especially those who do me harm. I want to close the gate and allow only you into my life to motivate me for service and none other. Thank you for showing me and helping me apply these truths today. In Jesus' name, Amen