~Disclaimer: Its not mine. Stop sending me money. ~
The nurse told me they'd be in the guest bed room, where family usually stayed. Family...I couldn't help but smile when I heard that word. Indeed, these two were my family. They've already spent more time with me than most of my sisters combined! Well, when there's twenty-nine of you, it's kind of hard to have a family gathering.
I threw the duffle bag over my shoulder and walked down the sterile hallways, whistling some merry little tune off the top of my head. I was in a strangely good mood, thinking about the upcoming taxi ride home. Aina, Trowa, and I all packed away like sardines in the back seat, smiling...laughing....
"Trowa...I can't go on like this!" I froze in front of the door way. That was Aina, right? She sounded pretty upset. Go on like what?! I immediatly thought the worst. Her and Trowa...spending all that time together while I.... I was in a coma. It was the most logical explaination! However, I consider myself a pretty rational fellow, so before my eyes turned a jealous green, I knelt down to the ground and peeked in the door. Wow, how long ago was I doing this exact same thing to Aina? Once a criminal, always a criminal I guess.
"We have too. For his sake." No doubt, that was Trowa. And he had about the same anxious tone in his voice Aina had.
"For his sake..." She scoffed. "We're toying with the poor boy!"
"He's toying with *us!*"
My mouth went dry and I clung to the door frame to keep myself from falling inward. They knew. Allah, they *knew* I was playing with them both! But why!? Why the hell didn't they do anything about it?!
"..why do you let him?" Aina asked, her tone changing. "Why do you let him play this game with you?" Trowa was silent, which didn't suprise me. I bit down on my bottom lip and leaned in closer toward the light. Aina had a very good question. Why did Trowa put up with me? One minute, we're the most loving couple in the colony, then I refuse to talk to him. After that, he finds out I'm bouncing off him and this strange, crazy, woman who tried to kill us all with enough explosions to take out half of a colony....and he plays right into it! Even defends me! Trowa had better have a good excuse for my behavior, becasue I certaintly had none.
"It's not his fault."
So much for Trowa's excuse.
"He doesn't know what he's doing..." Trowa explained. "He doesn't know what it is to be loved by someone else. I'm the first...and only....to show Quatre any sort of physical love. The first one to love him not just for his good soul, but because I'm complete infatuated with him!"
Wow.
"Quatre is an innocent. He does't know the first thing about desire. Therefore, he doesn't know how to handle himself when he 'desires' someone else. He's never quite done it before. I don't doubt that Quatre loves me, but does he want me like I want him?" He took in a deep breath and exhaled heavily. "I was selfish... selfish for never letting him go beyond the world I showed him..."
Trowa.... loved me? That was the only thing I could really process right now. Trowa loved me. Trowa Barton loved me. Trowa Barton wanted me. Trowa Barton...
"Trowa..." I heard Aina whisper. "You... you must really love him.... if you're willing to give up your own happiness for him." I thought I heard Trowa laugh... quietly... barely audible.
"Aina...being in love isn't about giving up your happiness for the other. Being in love is being able to share your happiness with them. Being able to laugh along with them, not just for their sake. But for yours."
And that's when I cracked.
"No..." I hissed. "No Trowa...don't say such things."
They both perked up, mirroring each other's stupid expressions. I didn't realize how loud I was, but I didn't care. I just didn't care anymore. Trowa was right. Loving someone is happiness and I was feeding off of the conflict of it. I was enjoying the hatred, the jealousy, those awkward moments when they were forced to 'share' me. And there was Trowa... wonderful Trowa... standing in the background, watching me laugh like a lunatic next to the beautiful Aina. The beautiful, lovely Aina, who still found time to stay by my side... to find a place in her heart for me... after I had destroyed her one and only precious thing. While I bathed in happiness, they were drowning in misery. Misery... caused by me. I.. was a horrible horrible person.
"Quatre?" Aina said, making her way for the door. No... no she shouldn't come for me. She shouldn't speak my name. Not after all this. They shouldn't even look at me! Such a black heart! I lept to me feet before she could open the door and I ran... I just ran.