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What the fuzz is that thing?  John's Facial Hair Experiments
1. Sideburns
    I've grown weird sideburns on several occasions, but I don't think I've got sufficient photographic evidence to really show how fashionally abysmal they've been.  Usually, girls tell me (after I've shaved them off) that I "look better without them."  Translation?  "They were horrid, but I'm too kind to tell you to your face despite repeated direct questioning."  That's cool.  I usually have some concept of how bad they are.  Besides which, I consider myself pretty lucky to have such tactful and kind ladies in my life.
To see a wickedly protuberant example of a soul patch gone wrong, click here!
2. Chinhair
    Not only does it escape the quagmire of problems encountered with mustache-growing, the chinhair aproach also has that funky beat poet-cum-surfer dude appeal.  Or at least in theory.  My sources tell me that it isn't really liked by many of the finer sex.  Big surprize, hey?
3. The Goatee
    O.K., so this is a little trite - pretty much every guy tries to 'grow the goat' at one point or another.  And like most guys, mine was sub-optimally full, despite a what felt like a long growth time.  I had an essentially atrichotic filtrum right to the end, but I suppose that was just God telling me that I should shave the  rest of it off.

I think God was right.  As usual.
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